So this is one of those things that I thought was harmless but now I’m wondering if it was a jerk move
I’ve been married for a year and my coworkers were asking the other day how my wife and I met
I told them we met through mutual friends which is not true
We actually met online (sSo this is one of those things that I thought was harmless but now I’m wondering if it was a jerk move
I’ve been married for a year and my coworkers were asking the other day how my wife and I met
I told them we met through mutual friends which is not true
We actually met on Kick (she’s a streamer)
She was a streamer I was just a guy in chat we got talking in DMs started video calling one thing led to another and it actually worked out
We’ve been together a few years now and it’s been great
But I’ve told people the mutual friends story a few times now because every time I even think about saying we met through a livestream chat I just know people are going to judge
Like oh you met a girl while you were watching her stream and she actually dated you
Even when I’ve hinted at it lightly people have made faces or jokes about simps and stuff like that
Anyway one of my coworkers just found out the real story because I guess my wife casually mentioned it to someone at a party and now people at work are acting weird about it
A couple of them straight up asked me why I lied and I said I didn’t want to get clowned for it
One guy said it was shady to lie about how you met your wife and it made it seem like I was ashamed of her or that I didn’t respect how we met
That’s not true at all I just didn’t want to deal with the weird vibes or feel like the office joke
So yeah AITA for not being honest about how we met
Comments
NTA. Nobody needs to know private details of your life. If you’re not comfortable sharing, then don’t.
Its better not to mix work with your personal life imo
Instead of lying, you should have just declined to answer.
Lies have a way coming back to bite you.
Depends on how close you are to your coworkers. It’s difficult to lead a dishonest life. Sometimes it’s better and more of a relief to just tell the truth.
Definitely NTA. It’s not your duty to tell anyone about your personal life.
NTA
It’s no one’s business but yours and your wife’s; no one is entitled to your story.
NTA, no one deserves to know your private details. People will judge you no matter what anyway.
NTA for what you say at work… it’s none of their business…
However it sounds like it doesn’t bother your wife so if she’s gonna share the truth it does make you less trustworthy to your colleagues if you’re caught in a lie so you just kinda have to be prepared for that.
If it were me I would keep it simple in the future and just say “online” – it’s a perfectly acceptable answer these days.
“One guy said it was shady to lie about how you met your wife and it made it seem like I was ashamed of her or that I didn’t respect how we met”
Who the fuck are these people to judge you, your wife and your relationship like that? Ignore them, or flip it and tell them you sensed they were too immature/old fashioned/take your pick to be able to appreciate how you met without them judging you or your wife.
A simple, “We met online” is just fine.
NTA
My wife and I met 8 years ago on Match. We’ve told everyone it was a chance meeting at a coffee shop since day one. Especially back then, online dating had a stigma. It’s not like it’s hurting anyone, and there’s no reason to subject yourself to the snarky comments.
you could just say, “we met online. We were in a chat together, and it just kept going.”
NTA people are not entitled to information about you, but maybe consider a more generic answer that’s closer to the truth.
“We met through a mutual hobby” might be closer then through friends, but it’s weird that people are acting as though “through friends” isn’t the generic answer that everyone gives.
“Through mutual friends” is the go to “I don’t want to share” answer, don’t worry about that.
But yeah, yta for being embarrassed, it’s not a crazy story or anything. You basically met at her job and seem embarrassed about it? “We talked online and then met up irl” is not exactly a groundbreaking story nor is it a lie.
I’ll usually say I met my husband online and immediately tell them the story of our first date to distract them from asking what site we met on… Because we met on a Sugar Daddy dating website 😂
NTA, but maybe it would be good for you emotionally to sit down with your wife and talk to her about these insecurities. Tell her what happened and talk to her about the origin of your relationship.
Personally, I’d be so fucking proud of myself for going from fangirl to spouse, but that’s just me.
NTA. Met my SO online we kinda just dodge the question because people, even in this day and age, still act weirded out by it. And so many people meet that way honestly
First of all there isn’t a darn thing wrong with meeting someone online.
Second no you are not the ahole at work you don’t owe them a damn thing
Now if you are asking about your wife though…….. I can understand if she thought it was a jerk move and you may have some miles to make up lol
My husband and I met through a personal ad. We used to say we met at the art museum because it sounds better.
NTA-you don’t owe anyone the details of how you met.
NTA. This is like when people say “we met in a bar” when they actually met on a dating app, and their first in-person interaction was at a bar. Did a mutual friend recommend her stream? Or an online friend? Then it’s basically like you met through a friend.
ETA: NTA.
At this point, you being weird and awkward about it is going to exasperate the weird and awkward vibes your coworkers have. If it were me, I’d just laugh and be like “yeah I’ve had people give me shit about dating a streamer, so it’s easier to say…”. Laugh it off, laugh at yourself, done and over with … you’re good.
I have a hard time believing that your coworkers remembered your generic boring story about meeting your wife through mutual friends and cared enough to talk about it with each other when one of them heard a different version.
I usually don’t even remember how my family members met their spouses unless I was involved.
Private details, private life. Protect those you love by giving a little white lie, for the reason to basically say “none of your business!” In a sense.
How did you hear about Kick?
Was it a friend who told you about it??
How did she first hear about Kick?
Maybe from a friend who told her??
So basically you didn’t lie at all
If your friend hadn’t told you about kick and her friend hadn’t told you about kick – you might’ve never met at all !!!
Think about THAT!
LOL NTA
It’s nobody’s business how you met – especially if they’re gonna get all judgy and shit!
You’re NTA because you owe your coworkers exactly nothing when it comes to your personal life.
However lying isn’t good so you’re kinda an AH for doing that. Maybe next time, should you feel the need to make up an origin story, just say nothing. You’re not lying and you’re not sharing anything you don’t want to.
The cascading ripple effects of even a small lie can have very far reaching consequences. As someone that used to lie a lot for a bunch of reasons I won’t derail your thread with, take it from me, it’s never worth it.
NAH I guess. They aren’t entitled to that information but it’s also a weird thing to lie about. In the future just say you met online. Most will assume online dating and that will be that. If they ask more questions just deflect and change the topic if you don’t feel comfortable sharing. There isn’t any shame in how you met but I can see how and why people would be weird about it.
NTA. Look, honesty is normally the best policy, but your little white lie wasn’t hurting anyone.