I’m 22F and working toward becoming a CRNA (Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetist). I’d love to get married in my mid-twenties, but I don’t want to have kids until I’ve finished all of my schooling—which will probably be right around when I turn 30. I only want one or two kids, but I sometimes worry that if I’m upfront about that timeline with men I date, especially since they’re usually 8–10 years older than me, they’ll be turned off or not take me seriously.
Did you and your partner wait to have kids, and how did that work out for you? Do you think there are men out there who are truly open to waiting?
TL;DR; : I’m 22 and working toward becoming a CRNA. I want to get married in my mid-20s but wait to have kids until I’m 30 and done with school. I only want 1–2 kids, but I worry that men—especially since I usually date older guys (8–10 years older)—might not be okay with that timeline. Wondering if anyone waited to have kids with their partner and how that went. Are there men out there who are truly willing to wait?
Comments
Who cares if they’re turned off or not take you seriously? Your purpose in life is not to solely become a mother. Plenty of women are prioritizing their careers and goals before becoming mothers. There are now more women becoming mothers in their 40s than teen moms for the first time! There’s nothing wrong with waiting and any man that doesn’t respect that is not the one for you!
I think lots of educated people wait to have children. Everyone in my friend group went to university and then established their careers before getting married and having children. Everyone in my family was pushing thirty for marriage, I never understood the point of getting married young, you will change and grow so much in the next few years, figure out who you are, become your best version of yourself and then find a partner worthy of you. Do not settle, if he’s not bringing peace and joy and doing the work of daily living with you, he’s not worth it.
I’m in my late twenties and planning on extending this lifestyle until at least 32, I really recommend focusing on yourself in your twenties and enjoy it as much as you can. You’ll enjoy each milestone more if you don’t have to multitask
I would absolutely cut back on your age range for dating/marriage if you wanna wait until 30 for kids
Getting with men 30-32 is ripe for power imbalances, red flags, and a lot of those men might want kids much sooner VS guys who are your age or 5 years old
I would dial it back to 21-25 for dating especially if you wana have kids later down the line and meet more guys who are also working on their careers vs guys who are more settled in life