It’s just what it sounds, I’m 29 year old male whose never been on a date. Thier are some nights I cry because of how lonely I am. People tell me I’m good looking but that obviously hasn’t helped me. I’ve been rejected more times than I can actively recall and count. I try to dress nicely and usually treat wemon well (its not a guy girl thing I try to treat everyone well). But I’ve never been in a relationship, and it’s not that my standards are high either, I’d be okay with any girl who would show interest. I can find very few matches on dating apps and almost all of them ghost me within the first 3 messages. The only person who has ever shown interest was a guy and he’s not really my type (I’m not into dudes). What am I doing wrong?
New user pass phrase: I genuinely don’t know the answer.
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> it’s not that my standards are high either, l’d be okay with any girl who would show interest.
One of the most unattractive qualities a person can have IMO. This isn’t a good thing
Not everyone is destined for romance. It’s patriarchal or otherwise power imbalanced systems that position romantic pairing as the primary relationship. Otherwise, it’s a community of people that we know to be most important for human well-being and happiness.
Given that we are living in romance first cultures, that probably means very little to you, and I get it. If I was into a guy, and I found out, because he told me or I could see in his behavior, that he would be with any girl who showed interest, I would become instantly disinterested. No one wants to crush on someone just to find out they are only scratching an itch or using them to not be lonely, or hit some cultural milestone.
It might be your personality. Even the way you write this post is screaming "me me me". You haven’t told us what you’re looking for, only that you crave female companionship. I would be running away from you too. Maybe consider getting therapy to work on whatever issues you’re going through?
tbh it sounds like you likely come across as desperate and insecure if you’d “be okay with any girl who was interested”. people can smell desperation a mile away.
it’s also unclear what it means that you “usually try to treat wemon well”, because a) “usually” is a key word there and b) how do you know how people want to be treated? what does that mean to you?
it’d probably help to go to therapy and work on yourself. being insecure and willing to take anyone who’s interested is incredibly unattractive, because it essentially implies that whoever you’re with is worthless.
Are you interesting? You need to give them a reason to be with you over and above "I’m lonely and desperate".
It’s just a numbers game. Keep trying and be persistent. Never act like or convey desperation.
it might just be you’ve got no charisma. maybe do some soul searching and learn to love yourself first
Step 1. Learn to spell (and likely speak) proper English.
Step 2. Get off the internet (especially Reddit) and touch some grass.
Step 3. Be a WHOLE HUMAN yourself. Who on EARTH would date a person who stated he/she would “accept anyone.” You REEK of desperation and nothing drives people away faster. Be ALONE until you can confidently move about the world.
Join interest groups, and actually participate in the activities of interest. Live life where you find happiness. Then look around to see who else is doing the same. Talk to them.
You could work on your literacy; there, their, and they’re all have different meanings.
You have to be a whole and complete person with your own life, activities, interests, and self respect. If you go through life lamenting about what’s missing and how you’re incomplete, that will repel people.
Basically, would YOU date you?
What are your hobbies?
Right now you seem desperate and that’s super off putting to anyone. I’d say take a break from trying to find someone and work on yourself, find some hobbies, group of friends etc. Not saying that you’re going to find someone when you’re not looking but focus on being confident and ok with being alone, then try and find someone.
Clearly you’re not that good looking or women would be interested in you. People are generally not very honest about stuff like that. Find a guy who absolutely slays with women and then ask him what you can do to get women. His answers will be eye opening.
What do your male friends say when you ask why you’re having such a hard time? What do your female friends say?
Not usually one to jump in to these threads but…have had the overwhelming sense reading your responses that you’re not really ‘listening’ to what people have taken time to say.
There’s been little acknowledgment that there could be some things you could improve on or challenge your own thinking about. Are you able to consider some of these suggestions with an open mind?
There seems to be a fair consensus to ditch apps, join fun groups, realise it’s not particularly attractive to want ‘just anyone’ and figure out why you might be thinking that, because it is very unusual. Finding someone you are compatible with isn’t that easy, so having an understanding of what you may want in partner other than ‘she’s alive and likes me’ is essential development as a human.
Otherwise it’s not very nice for ther other person who could essentially be anyone at all. Part of being in a relationship is knowing the person chose you because they see who you are and want that.
This being said it’s terrible to be lonely and I hope you’re able to find a way to work on yourself with kindness and not shame and find your person.
There’s a reason man. Are you telling us the entire story?
This is the trick, focus solely on yourself. Build yourself up, become someone that you love to see in the mirror in the morning. Get your mind, body and money right.
After you’ve done this and feel that you’ve accomplished whatever worthwhile goals you set, go ahead and dabble in dating but do NOT make it a big deal. Keep it a small side thing, and you’ll be surprised at the new found attention you’ll receive.
Then, it will be difficult to not put women before yourself, stay strong though. When men put women on a pedestal, this is when they look down on you. Women are not built to look down on a prospective dating choice.
Put yourself first and focus on what makes you happy… reading, sports, cooking.. whatever makes you happy go do in a public environment. Before you know it you will meet someone.. usually when you aren’t looking and least expect it.
Because you sound pathetic and boring, work on yourself first, and stop looking for someone to make you feel better and less lonely.
Get some hobbies and find meaning outside of a relationship, make more friends, stop relying on a relationship to “cure” your loneliness.
"Go now, …and heaven help you."
Dude, how your speaking and interacting with these comments, of people genuinely trying to help you out, shows completely why you’re unattractive to people in general.
Good Luck
The other thing I’ll mention is you’ll need to focus on other relationships as well. Platonic relationships, community, friends are vitally important.
Not having a date ever in 29 years despite being good looking is a massive red flag. There’s something else about you that turns people off or away, your personality is probably not very good. I’ve seen butt ugly people with personalities made of liquid gold, get into relationships with decently attractive people.
Yo, honestly any relationship I’ve been in was always as friends.
Just make some friends that are girls and invite them to events your interested in going to. Have fun and smile man that’s all.
If you do that you will find someone.
Best part you’ll have fun while you do.
Don’t think about relationships unless it comes up and don’t bring it up.
If you feel like you have to bring it up express that your sorry if you got this wrong and if it makes it weird but are they interested in you.
Have fun and best of luck
Hey man, first off—thank you for being so vulnerable and honest. That takes courage, and I just want to say that your feelings are valid. Loneliness can feel crushing, especially when it feels like you’re doing all the “right” things and still not getting anywhere.
From what you’ve shared, it sounds like you have a kind heart and genuine intentions, which do matter a lot. But unfortunately, modern dating—especially online—can be brutal and often feels disconnected from those deeper values.
Here are a few things that might help:
Confidence vs. Desperation:
Women can sometimes sense when someone is trying too hard or is emotionally overwhelmed by loneliness. It’s okay to feel that way—but if that energy seeps into your interactions (even subtly), it can push people away. Confidence doesn’t mean being cocky—it means being okay with yourself even if someone else isn’t interested.
Shift your focus off “getting a girl”:
I know that sounds counterintuitive, but building genuine friendships, joining groups or communities (even offline, like hobby meetups), and simply focusing on you—your growth, passions, and mental health—can sometimes lead to unexpected connections that are way more natural than dating apps.
Dating apps suck for a lot of men (you’re not alone):
Especially if you’re average-looking (or even good-looking but not “photogenic”), apps are stacked against most guys. Consider switching gears to real-world connections. Volunteering, classes, or local interest groups are better for meeting people who’ll actually see you and not swipe based on 3 photos and a bio.
Therapy or coaching might be worth exploring:
Not because something’s “wrong” with you—but because talking this stuff out with someone who’s trained to help can give you new insights, confidence, and tools. Loneliness over time can hurt your self-esteem without you even noticing it.
A lot of people don’t find relationships until their 30s or beyond. That doesn’t mean you’re doomed or that you’re doing something wrong—it just means your story is unfolding on a different timeline.
If you ever want to talk or vent or bounce ideas around, feel free to DM. You’re not invisible, and you do matter.
Social media has made people believe a profile and an account is a person. It’s not your fault. If you’re not physically interacting with real humans, it’s hard to work on the in-person social skills that make people want to be with someone else.
What do you want people to say about you at your funeral one day? "He couldn’t find a girl who was interested in him." Or "This is the guy I would drive all night to move a mountain for."
I have been in a relationship with the same guy for 25 years. He irritates the crap out of me sometimes, but I would not exchange him for any other. I love being cherished, and I give it back unreservedly. Yes, we still fight about silly stuff, but this morning, he got up before me and in the autumn dark, he put an extra blanket on me before he left the room. Yesterday, our son had his first busking gig. We arrived at the venue to find there was no mike stand. My spouse made one out of tape and plastic poles, complete with soda bottle counterweight.
He never lies, and I trust him 100%. Geeky AF, but his integrity is my safe place in this world. I had a crappy upbringing, with a dad who was a serial adulterer.
So maybe ask yourself what you have to offer a woman, and how you can be the best human being in another person’s life. Women don’t need a man with an enormous dong and huge biceps. They want a guy who brings them freshly ground coffee in the morning, and who is absolutely telling the truth when he says he’s going to be fixing other people’s bicycles at Community Repair Café on a Saturday afternoon, or flying out of town to another city for a work thing for two days next week. I have compassion for your loneliness, but maybe grow yourself and your own happiness through being a cool and involved human in your community, and connections might grow into friendships that blossom into something else.
Give up, I mean this nicely. other commenters mentioned how people can smell desperation, I couldnt find anyone until I was 21 yrs old. I had the same mentality as you where I wanted a girlfriend not because I had any interest in any particular girl, but because I wanted to have sex and the companionship. If you want to like someone or love someone, you need to like them for who they are, not for what they can provide for you (sex and companionship). I really feel you on this issue bro and I hope you find someone whos as amazing as you prob are.
You’re just boring dude, and less good looking than you think, or have no sense of how to take care of your appearance and probably have shitty pics on the dating apps. Average guys with good pics that show they know how to dress, they’re confident and have fun work better than someone who’s good looking with a profile picture taken with a potato phone in his bedroom. So how do you get those pics, by actually being that person, that means taking care of yourself, doing fun things, etc. If you become that person for yourself, you’ll naturally attract more people to you because you’ll actually be fun to talk to. Right now you’re as fun as a bowl of oatmeal.
Cause ur looking too hard.
Why do you feel entitled to it? You’re probably looking at women way out of your league. Lower your standards to something reasonable
Your chill to pull ratio is 0
Unless you are ugly and/or living in a one-horse town, as a man your success in dating is a function of your character.
Nothing is more honest about your character as a man than the dating market.
Women are human; they generally like sex, romance and love. And they generally like high-quality connections with good people.
So become a more interesting, stronger, more self-expressed man of good character.
So tough advice here: give up on dating apps. I’m about to get married soon. When I was single, dating apps would’ve had me believe nobody wanted to even look in my direction. It was awful for me. In person I had much better luck.
I think your best bet is to get out and meet women who are looking to date. Maybe go speed dating? This was an option I was interested in but ended up meeting who I’m marrying thru a friend before I ended up trying it.
Also go get hobbies, where you get to meet people (men and women! Even just as friends, just get out and be social. The most social guys I knew could be ugly but still had girlfriends). Maybe even volunteer or get involved somewhere where you can meet friends.
Be open minded, meeting someone thru friends is a much better option if dating apps fail. And never fall into the manosphere, you don’t want any glaring red flags.
Honestly, I think a few things don’t add up after reading your post, but I see many people in the comment section already did a good job pointing those things out.
I think you should re-consider who you are surrounding yourself with because they clearly are not giving accurate you depictions of your looks. I find it hard to believe a truly good looking person can do that bad on dating apps, especially when you say you don’t even get matches (the stage where people are mainly swiping for looks). That can only mean you are not as good looking as you think. Why are the people around you saying otherwise though?
This is somehow reminding me of those American Idol episodes where people who cannot sing get horribly humiliated and disappointed because their friends and family were hyping their (non existent) singing ability up to the sky.
Most women have numerous options at any given time.
You have mentioned being "good looking" so many times – are you just too vain? Issue here is women who would be interested are now less interested in looks.
You should get a hobby or two and meet people that way. Dating apps are no good.
I find its best to interact with someone prior to showing interest.
Dating Apps are a waste of time. They don’t work.
Every woman I ever dated or had sex with had known me directly for a good chunk of time (weeks).
And the few times I did get women off of social media and apps I was in a lot better shape.
Can you post your first three messages that you send before being ghosted?
There could be a number of factors you aren’t mentioning.
Are you practicing proper hygiene?
Are you a fan of guys like Andrew Tate?
Do you treat women with actual respect, and what you deem respectful?(this may take real time to reflect on)
Spend more time working on your dating profile photos. Buy a tripod and a shutter and make taking good pictures of yourself a hobby. Buy clothes that look good in photos. It not fun but low effort photos are the big filter most guys hit on the dating apps. If you haven’t put hours into taking good photos then you haven’t even started trying yet.
Also go to some of the dating subreddits like datingover30, get your profile reviewed, ask for advice on where maybe your conversations went wrong.
Dating takes effort and work. You are either going to put in the time to succeed or you’re not.
Can’t relate, tbh. It’s harder to find women who meet my standards.
Everyone has discussed at length the importance of being interesting and confident in who you are. Now it’s time to go in a different direction:
What’s your hygiene and grooming situation? Do you have decent, well fitting semi-stylish clothes? Do you have a well-groomed face and clean, styled hair? Do you smell nice? Do you keep your teeth clean and healthy?
One of the best people I know is smart, funny, kind, sweet, and has a beautiful soul … but he is frankly unkempt, and as such, he struggles tremendously to be taken seriously by anyone. Grooming is a HUGE deal to people regardless of gender.
Have you tried meeting people in real life and not through the internet?
Character work is hard and is supposed to be. Don’t idealize what you already are. Change. Make genuine changes to yourself for the sole purpose of being a better person and never ever stop. This is a journey, not the destination type thing. When you can become someone who needs no justification for who and why they are the way they are, you’ll find people will naturally want to be around you.
Some tips;
Do right by others always. Treat others the way you would like to be treated. Everyone applies
Be helpful but not obnoxious and boastful. If you can help, do so. If you can’t, don’t. But don’t talk about it after. Put in the work.
Develop style and pride in your appearance. Get into some hobbies and changes in lifestyle that genuinely affects the way you look. Anything else will look like a costume and come off inauthentic
Participate in life. Do things. Go out and experience the world
You got this! Soul searching and character work is all it takes
Woman here.
There was a guy I knew who asked me on a date recently, and he had a similar issue to you. He was desperate for love and a partner, and honestly he seemed like a nice guy. He was very patient and awkwardly shy, but in a kind endearing way, and he put loads of effort into his profile. I wish the best for him.
However, I said no because he just wasn’t ready to date anyone and it would have ended up extremely toxic. Not because he was a bad guy but because he was so insecure in everything from the way he acted around me to the way he spoke, as though I was above him and he wasn’t good enough. He was clearly desperate for a partner, not to hang around with because of shared interests but to cure his loneliness.
He liked me because I was nice to him, but that isn’t a healthy way to start a relationship. No one should settle for “nice”. “Nice” is a baseline for human interaction, not the beginnings of a relationship. It also isn’t healthy to obsess over looks and loneliness and perceived inadequacies.
If the guy had just taken a good look at himself and realised his personality and interests were enough as they are, if he had just actually done his hobbies and talked about them instead of constantly talking about his loneliness and spending all his time asking questions about how to get women and make himself better on Reddit (which he did, and then he showed me the post for feedback), he would honestly have been someone I’d have liked to spend time with. I should have said all this to him at the time, but I didn’t really know how to approach the situation without making him feel patronised.
I said no because, while it is human to have fears and insecurities, a partner isn’t there to fix you. You need to actually do your hobbies and be a cool person to be around, not because you want a relationship but because those things and the people you talk to genuinely make you happy.
I wish you the best, OP. Focus on the things you enjoy and do those, don’t keep stressing about what you don’t have and how to improve.
Good luck 🙂
Why do you want to date?
You say girls ghost you after 3 messages. What are you saying in these messages to make them ghost you? That’s definitely a you thing.
What you’ve been thinking is wrong! If a girl talks immediately talks about having babies together on the first date you will find that creepy right? You will want to get the hell out of there.
There’s a list like that too but for women. And if you don’t do the things under you will come across in the same creepy kinda vibe, but to women instead.
Have fun, hangout, hookup. Simple. But to not be creepy you need to do the following:
You want ambition, masculinity at your core, be a leader, do 30% of the texting and talking, and ask them about them, and don’t try to find things in common let it come up naturally, and don’t let anything rock your boat, don’t show weakness (at least not in the beginning) of course open up but take your time, and leave mystery and be busy, and don’t always prioritise them.
But nr 1, make them laugh. Smile, be chill, be easy. Tease them like you would a friend. And never chase them, but lead the way when they show interest. Back of when they don’t.
And treat all girls/women the same no matter their age or looks, this will help you talk to beautiful women without being nervous, just treat them all in the same manner.
Your requirements are “is girl” and “likes me.”
Doesn’t really make a person feel special, and self centered.
In my mid 20s I started wearing button up and rolled up my sleeves a lot, actually paid attention to my beard and how to trim it, and tried to do more social activities. I then lost my virginity at 25, started going on more dates up till now, because now I have my first girlfriend who has been the best thing to happen to me.
I felt like the most unattractive bastard ever until I looked at what people said was attractive and then started choosing which of those things I was capable of doing. Getting a good haircut and paying attention to what you’re wearing is a very strong first step with your confidence. From there it just builds and builds as you get experience with people.
Your post gives very little information about you and what another person might find attractive in you. How extroverted or introverted are you, what hobby’s do you have, how many regular activities do you have were you could met new people, how would your friends describe you/ rate your appearance.
My general advise would be to get a hobby were you met new people and were conversation forms naturally like a cooking course or dancing lesson, try changing your look a bit or if you think that your unsuccessfulness in dating might come from a feeling of low self worth talking to a therapist might help.
let me guess, because only 10-15 percent of the population is above 6’0, youre definitely not above 6’0 , right?
Can you post a screen shot of the messages where you get ghosted? What advice do your friends/family give to you? Also, if you join meet up or similar apps just to meet people with common interests that could be helpful.
Gotta go outside the box G
Because you don’t value yourself highly. Once you have a drive or confidence in a craft you aren’t ready. Once you are ready you still have to go places and meet people but it will start working. If you only do video games, well that’s going to make it hard but make a goal to be best in the region. Get able to really talk about high level dominance. If you’re dabbling in metal craft, make some gorgeous pieces. Use them as ice breakers.
In short, be in a community and bring value. Doing that you’ll find you have value and people respond to that.
You sound desperate, that’s why
People saying “give up on dating apps” is terrible, terrible advice.
In the past few years, I have been on the dating apps three times. They have led me into relationships that lasted at least a year… three times, each time within weeks of joining.
I’m not a tall man and not I’m rich man. However, I put an enormous amount of effort into writing my profile, taking and selecting pictures and then massive amounts of time replying to people’s messages with thoughtfulness and personality.
This is how to make dating apps work for you. The problem is most people simply don’t, won’t make the effort.
If you tie your entire sense of self-worth to finding someone to date, this will be bad for you whether you are successful in doing so or not. You should go to therapy and work on this.
Dating apps are a shitshow designed to keep you single and unhappy – if everyone easily got coupled up off of dating apps that would be really bad for their business since they’d have no return customers.
Basically everyone I know who has a partner (including myself in the past) did so by going to in-person social events, interest clubs, school/college etc., and just talking to new people from time to time just to make new friends and stuff. That includes girls and eventually they found someone where there was mutual interest. Hardly any of these people are exceptionally good looking or rich or impressive – just average people who made an effort to be generally social and eventually that tends to lead to romantic opportunities.
Go live your life, find places to socialise where you actually want to be, it will likely happen "naturally" after some time.
I’m in a similar position; except I use to attract a lot more women/girls when I was 14-23. After those years I have not dated anyone and i’m 29 years old now, and Id argue that ive grown more in shape.
I was not super good looking, probably a 6/10 or 7/10 in a good day, I work out, made good money nearly my entire life, own a home, etc. It got infinitely harder to date when I entered the workplace since I do blue collar that has virtually zero women. Apps are extremely toxic, it created an environment where people are continually window shopping and dooms scrolling for the next potential best thing. Not to mention social media has bombarded men to not approach women, and labeled unwanted advances as harassment, while simultaneously maintaining the traditional view that men are the ones to be the instigators. What this did was create an environment where men who do not understand social cues (creeps) and hypersucessful men (looks, charms, money, etc) are the only ones who do approach unknown women, and men who are average and not confident are much less likely to approach women due to potential social repercussions. In otherwards, it exacerbated the problem of creeps further. I say this because that is the main reason I quit approaching men and probably why I’m still single. The juice is not worth the squeeze if there is potential for me to get labeled as a creep if I made a unwanted advance.
You might not be very interesting.
I have never either, have had plenty interested in me but my standards are very high (Refuse to date someone who doesn’t share at least some interests with me or who would make me miserable) I am in HS and everyone I know with a GF is miserable it’s something everyone wants till they have.
My tips would be to get out more and have confidence. Treat women like people and not a prize, Hang out at places with people like you whether that’s a club, bar ect.
You will find someone, it may not even be while looking you might just meet at the right place right time.
Post screenshots of these conversations so we can adequately weigh your situation.
They don’t know and their advices won’t help you. You might also not be that good looking. I’m sorry to say that, but I was told the same. The "find hobby" bullshit is hilarious.
About tinder, I can only say to you that having seen how female friend uses tinder, almost nobody stands a chance. She swipes left(I mean rejects, idk if it’s right or left now) faster than kalashnikov. And there are thousands of dudes who swiped on her, so she has really a huge choice.
You can be the most complete person, have interests, hobbies and you still won’t get a girl. So don’t tell youself that you are boring, because you don’t have a girl. People here are cruel suggesting that. The only guys I know to get a girlfriend fast were actually desperate (not very much, but they were very active) and played a lot of computer games.
Don’t ask these question to redditors, cause they will tell you, you must smell bad, or watch Andrew Tate or not have hobbies. I’ve fucked my self esteem reading that kind of subs because you’re never enough for those people. They simply cannot comprehend that one can not find date and be completely normal. They also cannot comprehend that by saying "any girl that would show interest" you don’t really mean any.
Sincerly, always single 24 year old.
EDIT: Wow, people here are really cruel. Don’t read it, unless you want to feel even worse.
Take a genuine interest in other people and watch and happens
I feel that. I’m a woman but It’s been impossible to find a guy who’s interested in me. I’ve been single for a decade lol.
TBH, it can be lonely at times, but having a relationship is not all there is to life. Friends and family are always there. If you’re lonely the best thing you can do is make more friends/social connections. Volunteer, get involved in clubs. That’s how people meet! Don’t do dating apps, they’re not useful honestly.
Loneliness often gets boiled down to romance, but I know a lot of people in relationships/marriages who feel extremely alone and lonely.
Part of why you’re so lonely without a relationship is probably self judgment. You might think “something is wrong with me because no one ever wants to be with me or likes me”. That’s not the case. There are a ton of wonderful single people. I can still get self conscious about being single for so long, but once I let go of the shame and insecurity I honestly stopped feeling so bad. It turns out that I didn’t want a relationship- I wanted to be ‘normal’ and have a relationship confirm that I was an acceptable/normal/worthy person. The Silly stuff we put ourselves through.
Maybe you should make a concerted effort to make some women acquaintances and friends. Its seems that you are stuck in a loop and more of the same is probably not the answer. Good luck. I got very lonrly when i left my small town and moved to a city.
Maybe figure out why you go for women who seem to reject you. This sounds like a pattern
What do you want out of a relationship? Do you just want someone who is attractive and generally nice but doesn’t see you as a person? They don’t think you are funny or think your interests are important? They are polite but aren’t excited about you.
Like they would have sex with you but they literally would not take the initiative to do anything sexy that you’d like?
Would you really be less lonely? I was in a relationship like that, and I wasn’t. The woman that you are trying to date are also trying to be less lonely. But having the status of being in a relationship is different than truly connecting with someone. I’m guessing that you are focused on the former, and that is not what people are looking for.
If you’re an introvert who don’t go to school, frequent bars & clubs, or work a job in which you meet hundreds of people a week then it’s all of matter of luck.
Given what everyone else has to say about you and your candor, I’d add;
What you resist, persists.
Whatever lesson on life you’re trying to avoid, either consciously or unconsciously, will persist in your life until you learn the lesson.
You’re focus, IS your reality.
the only interesting things you can think of about yourself are ‘im good looking and I write sometimes’? dude. you don’t know yourself. how is someone meant to want to get to know you and build a life with you when YOU don’t know who you are? you want someone to come along and tell you who you are and what you want? then you want a mommy who will come and nurse your wounds of insecurity, you don’t want a partner. you also listed nothing about the other person youre looking for. the criteria is what, female and breathing? women are people– interesting people, sometimes. if a woman is looking for a relationship, why would she choose someone who doesn’t know himself, AND has no interest in anything special about her other than the fact she likes you? because it’s alllll about you, right? that’s totally what relationships are for lol. jesus
I think you need to ask yourself WHY you want a girlfriend. is it literally just because you haven’t had one, you’re lonely and think a high commitment relationship would fix that somehow? a girl is going to come and fill all the emptiness in your life with her presence? what does she get out of that? and what do YOU get out of that, once you have the validation you need? relationships are like, hard. they’re work, they’re being interested and committing and seeing someone for who they are. it’s not all about you and your loneliness. I think you need to focus on yourself and make some good friends before you get a girlfriend tbqh. relationships aren’t the cure to loneliness, that shit lives inside you and YOU need to work it out rather than hoping a girl will come along and fix your life for you
Hire a match maker
IDK how you do your dating app profiles, but holy fuk, it doesn’t sound like you’re posting interests.
Looks arn’t everything, some people flex their wealth to attract gold diggers, but most people show their interest, their hobbies.
Then when they see your picture of you doing your hobbies, they get interested.
And most importantly, if you started talking to a girl and they replied, don’t provide a stereotypical indian guy reply, talk like a normal person trying to make a friend. then go from there.
Oh yeah, and increase your netting, competition if fierce on dating apps. If you don’t like that, then your next option is find dates like a neanderthal, go to bars and other social event, actually meet people there. Once again, this is where hobby comes in, having hobby groups means meeting more people, and thus, improve your chance of finding a companion.
Wemon
Bro you’re just gonna have to go iut and start shooting your shot, habbit the same places find a girl try to strike up a conversation its really simple honestly, yea you’re gonna get rejected here and there but youd be surprised how easy it is to just talk to people after a while
Its hard without knowing you, but if you are crying at night there is probably something going on that you need to work on in yourself first before finding a partner, it could be depression or something.
Id fix your mental health first
I didn’t find my wife until I stopped looking for her. I just started focusing on myself and being a better version of myself. And she found me.
And when I say I just started focusing on myself I stopped trying to do things to get a girlfriend. And I just started doing things I want to do.
Started with a four-wheeler and a used Ford ranger. I joined some off-roading groups on Facebook and I went on a four-wheeler ride that was posted totally green and no idea what I was doing.. 6 months later I had a side-by-side and I was going on trips every weekend. I met an absolute ton of people. And I wasn’t really lonely anymore because I had found some friends and was going on rides and doing stuff.
Outside of that, I focused on my career. I change jobs and got a raise. I became pretty successful. I started hiking when I wasn’t offering. Lost a lot of weight.
Long story short, I stopped trying to be somebody I wasn’t and started being the person I am. Having a four-wheeler was a childhood dream of mine.
The turning point was really when I reconnected with my inner child and started listening to my past self. I kind of just woke up one day slapping myself from my other conscience like "dude, you’re 34, six digit job, house on a mountain… Wtf are you doing moping on the couch? Wtf is your four-wheeler?"
And I just started living life. Started reaching out to old friends visiting people I hadn’t seen in 15 years. Visited distant family. And on and on.
And then I ran into my old roommates ex wife. So yeah, we’ve been together 6 years now.
Honestly you sound kind of depressed. Having a girlfriend isnt going to fix that. If you can’t figure out how to be happy on your own, you’ll never be happy with another person. You might be a temporarily but it won’t last.
You have to figure out how to love yourself before somebody else can love you.
Your happiness isn’t somebody else’s responsibility it’s yours. Nobody wants to be with somebody that has the responsibility for another person’s happiness.
Life is already heavy enough for the individual person than to have to also worry about keeping somebody happy.
> I’d be ok with any girl who would show interest
Women can smell desperation a mile off, this will at least be part of your problem
How are we supposed to know? A bunch of random Redditors who don’t know you are not going to be able to tell you why you can’t pull women. Ask your friends you know in real life why they think it is.