I’m tired of being a wing woman to my single friends.
I (26F) have been with my partner now for a few years (30M) and most of my friends are single girls. I’ve helped them with their dating journeys in the past by offering support and occasionally being a wing woman but recently it’s gotten out of hand. I feel like I’m being used by my single girlfriends for this type of support. For example, I have friends beg me to go to social things to meet men with them so they don’t have to go alone but I have a partner already so I just feel weird going to these things. Once I’m done “wing womaning” and my friends meet a guy at an event or a bar, I’m left feeling used and alone and missing my significant other. I don’t bring him along usually because I want to give my friends my full attention during our girl time/ girls night outs, but it does suck when I feel like I’m only being brought along as the token taken friend who is presumably going to help them get wifed up. How do I bring this up to them in a way that doesn’t come across rude, but still setting a boundary. Surely they have other single friends that can join them in their journey to find a mate?
TLDR; I’m tired of being a wing woman to my single girl friends. How do I bring up this boundary to them?
Comments
I think the easiest and least dramatic option would be just to start saying no.
“I’m actually burned out on being the wingman. Let’s do lunch soon though!
Why can’t you:
Say “No thanks”?
Bring your boyfriend?
Just have fun?
Your single friends can wing women each other. You aren’t forced to do this for them.
If they’re actually friends, they’ll be slightly embarrassed that they’ve been leaving you out to dry when they meet someone, after you tell them.
If they’re not friends, they’ll be annoyed.
And therefore just telling them will be a great way to filter out some people who aren’t actually worth your time.
Omg I’m in the same boat. I’m one of the only female friends I have who is in a long term relationship and not “looking” and I’m absolutely not into being someone’s wing woman or having to give my “no I’m not single” face to guys. It’s uncomfortable and not fun to go out. I hang out in different spaces now and just say no if I feel like that’s what the night is going to look like. I spend more time with groups of mixed friends or other couples. At a certain age, you gotta find other single people to hang with