Did I get cheated on?

r/

So I just want to say that this happened almost a year ago now, but it was something I was never able to fully confirm and want to know general thoughts for shits and giggles. Allow me to explain.

So last year, I (at the time) 21F was living with my gf 22F. We had been together for almost 2 years at this point. Prior to this incident, she began to grow distant and cold towards me. Like I’m talking she would get mad at me for asking to hang out with her.

A couple details to keep in mind, we’re both from different states and have no mutual friends, so this made it 10x harder to solve this little “mystery”. Additionally, I’ve only met a small handful of her friends, including the one in question (we’ll get to that later). I had none of their contacts, and none of them on social media, so I wasn’t able to contact anyone for clarification or details.

So here’s the incident that made me question, did I get cheated on:
It was a Monday, I believe. My gf had work on this day at 2:30. To get from our apartment to her job, it was approximately 20 minutes. This day, she mentioned how she had to get gas on the way to work, which she mentioned several times before leaving. Now, from our apartment to her job, we had not one, but two gas stations directly on the side of the road. So getting gas would take approximately 5-10 minutes. In summary, it would have taken her 30 minutes, to be safe, to get to work. She leaves at 1:45, so I assumed she would get to work by 2:15. Something to keep in mind, every time we had somewhere to be, we would always text eachother when we arrived to make sure that we got there safe. We both lived in a rural area that’s not very fond of queer people, so this was something that meant a lot to me for safety concerns. Well, 2:10 rolls around, and I wanted to see if she made it to the gas station. Surprise, she’s not at the gas station, nor work. Instead, she’s at this girls apartment. I knew this girl, this was one of her friends (I believe 30 or 31) from her job. Now, when I met this friend, she wasn’t very kind to me. Her tone would completely shift when I would talk to her, and she would basically ignore me when we were having group conversations. It’s also important to note that the majority of her friends, from what I knew, were way younger than her. Back to the location part, I refresh the screen multiple times to make sure I knew what I was seeing, but she was there for sure. I watched as her car drove out of her apartment complex and towards her job, and didn’t even stop at the gas station! 2:30 rolls around and she doesn’t text me that she’s at work. So, I text her and ask if she made it to work, and she responded a bit later saying she did, which isn’t like her at all. I confront her about this a couple days later, and she says “Oh I just got to work super early that day and read my book. Sometimes locations glitch at the wrong location.” Now, I broke up with her during this talk because a) this sounded fishy and b) she was being so mean to me that I just couldn’t handle the relationship anymore.

I did want to clarify that I asked her if she was picking up this friend for work, and she said no to that as well. She was at this apartment for a little while (at least 15 minutes from what I saw on my end). Another detail is that in a conversation they had, they joked about being a “top and bottom”, which is odd when you’re in a relationship in my opinion. Overall just a lot of questionable actions and red flags.

Now, what do you guys think, did I get cheated on?

EDIT: First off I’m getting a lot of support so thank you for those who are being kind 🫶 second, I wanted to clarify that she wanted us to have each others locations, not me

Comments

  1. Werewolf_there-wolf Avatar

    I think it’s hard to say. Gut says yes. And realistically, if she was not being honest with you about her motive or what she was doing, whether sexual or emotional, I would think so. She was withdrawn. She was not being upfront. She withheld information. Even if they didn’t physically cheat, the fact that she was going behind your back with another woman and often made sexual jokes. Matters. She broke your trust.

  2. LovelessSenpai Avatar

    Let it go man. She will never admit it and you’ll never get closure. Speaking from experience… Trust your gut instinct.

  3. AstronomerRelevant60 Avatar

    Nobody else here has any more information than you do, so if you can’t be certain then nobody commenting can either. That being said, if you recognize the girl’s apartment then it sounds like she just wanted to leave early from your place to be away from you, and she waited at that girl‘s apartment for it to be time for her to go to work because she was avoiding being near you.

    That’s not uncommon behavior when somebody is checked out of a relationship and waiting for a more ideal time to end it. A lot of people that live with a partner they are going through a break up with or are about to avoid being at home as much as possible.

    Going forward never let a relationship get this bad, just end things if you feel like the person you’re with doesn’t like you and you have to monitor their location because you don’t believe that they will be truthful with you in a conversation. Constantly refreshing somebody’s location to verify what they’re saying and dwelling over it after the fact will drive you crazy, it’s better to be single than to be in a relationship like that.

  4. Imaginary_Top_1383 Avatar

    When something feels wrong it almost always is. You got out. Now it’s time to let it go.

  5. accomp_guy Avatar

    Yes.
    I don’t even have to read the text. I know the answer is yes and you do too.

  6. Shanobian Avatar

    You have way too much surveillance. Control freak comes to mind

  7. southwest_windstorm Avatar

    Yep. I’m sorry to say this is suppperrr sketchy behavior. You deserve better! I hope you find a loving fulfilling relationship with a nice girl or human. 💜

  8. DerpyMcDerpinator Avatar

    Even if she didn’t cheat on you in that instance or before that instance, it was only a matter of time. She didn’t want you knowing she was there to see that specific friend. That plus the sexual jokes between them and the friend having a cold tone towards you makes it pretty obvious SOMETHING was going on between them. Good for you for breaking up.

  9. Charming-Ad-5562 Avatar

    Yup, but it’s over so get on with your life. Peace xx

  10. Ambitious_Deer7832 Avatar

    She cheated. Let it go.

  11. Complete_Aerie_6908 Avatar