Ok Dan, you want to give my number out to strangers?

I have a really memorable phone number—like “123-4567” level distinct—so people often think I’m making it up when I give it out. For years now, some businessman named Dan (I’ll leave out his last name) has been giving out my number to clients or people he doesn’t want to deal with, just to brush them off.

I’ve usually been polite when these people call, just letting them know they have the wrong number. Over time, I’ve picked up a surprising amount of info about Dan just by talking to the callers—his full name, job title, the company he works for. He’s very real. I never wanted to get involved or reach out to him directly.

But after years of this nonsense, I’ve had enough. Lately, when someone calls asking for Dan, I tell them he moved to Arizona because of “some legal issues and embezzlement.” And if they ask if there’s a new contact at the company, I say the whole operation is under investigation.

I really hope this rumor makes its way back to him, because—Dan, stop giving out my number. Seriously.