I 19m pay for 100% of housing expenses $2250, groceries and all subscriptions for my wife 20f and I plus my car payment we only go 50/50 on insurance. My wife other than the insurance only pays for her car payment (we pay roughly the same amount for our cars) I make roughly $5000 a month my wife only works on the weekends because she’s in college(100% payed for by scholarships) so it’s hard to estimate how much she makes but I’d say 350-500 every weekend I recently asked her if she would help pay for groceries and she said no because I get money for that so I was upset but we talked about it and she’s not helping with groceries I just want to know if I’m wrong for being upset that she doesn’t want to contribute to more bills
Update since there is a few idiots that think my extra pay is supposed to cover everything https://www.travel.dod.mil/Allowances/Basic-Allowance-for-Housing/
Go to that link it literally says bag is not intended to cover all housing expenses
Comments
She needs to grow up.
You are partners in a relationship so with prices going up I don’t think it’s unreasonable for you to ask her to pitch in more. She should be helping you and I don’t think you’re wrong
If she makes roughly $1,600 a month and you make $5000, that’s about a 25/75 split, so find out if she’s willing to pay 25% of the bills. I don’t think you’re wrong, y’all just need to find an equitable compromise.
Not wrong.
Why did you get married at 19
Definitely NTA but you would be if you stared having children now or in the near future
Do you know what a period is? 🙄
You’re too young to be married and fully supporting someone who doesn’t work. You’ve got a lot of young years left. Leave this, or change it, and live your life!
Until this is resolved I’d stop paying for anything not 100% needed – like subscriptions. I suggest you cancel everything you can.
… how does a teenager make 5 grand a month? Rich family? This has to be bogus..
She a mooch
Ah, see, you just messed up. The military gives you extra money FOR food AND housing. That’s part of your $5k. And, if you live on base, they also pay your utilities.
So the only “extra” thing you pay for is subscriptions (like Netflix, etc?) If you also use these services, they are not HER subscriptions that you are paying for.
Do you even like your wife? Or did you just get married to get out of the dorms?
YES. You are wrong.
Nope, not wrong. If you have no kids, you might consider getting out or tossing her out. That shit is red flag AF. When she wants to do extra activities, simply tell her you can’t afford it.
I don’t know how popular my response will be, but if you are married you are in a legal and, I hope, loving relationship. As scary as it sounds you should have a joint account and be sitting down monthly to discuss budget, goals and where the money goes. It isn’t “your money” and “her money”-it is “our money” .
OP, are you military?
Wife 😂 you’re 19. What are you doing.
Divorce now, dummy.
Your money is “our money” and her money is hers. It’s great you’re getting a family allowance, but she’s using you at this point and divorce at this age is probably the wiser course of action. She’s not a partner.
You’re definitely wrong. She’s working and going to school and you get 5k a month for food and house and whatever the hell else you want to do with it she makes a QUARTER of what you do and you want her to buy half the groceries in this economy? You have the money and ability to do so, so why is it a problem to take care of your wife? I would understand if she wasn’t going to school and made more than she does however you make a majority of the money and you want to take the LITTLE she makes for what food you already get money for. I would understand if you asked her to pay things like the subscriptions, but FOR FOOD is ridiculous learn to be a better husband for your wife. This is coming for someone who has been married 5 years, together for 15, married at the age of 20, and is a military brat on BOTH SIDES. Also, as others have stated, if yiur not getting money for your groceries, you need to go to finance.
Please sit down with a Financial Advisor who can help you determine your budget and finances before you dig yourselves a hole! It may mean trading in a car or two for lower car payments or living in a not so nice area for a little while.
I get it’ll be hard times while she’s finishing school and not able to work FT so you’ll have to accommodate for that which may mean no tv subscriptions or other frills for a while. Then when she gets a FT job she can begin contributing more and you can add back entertainment budget.
I moved in with my fiance at 20, none military, and we were both broke college students barely scraping by so we didn’t have cable tv or nice cars until many years later. We didn’t have scholarships so had to get loans and budget our combined income. Adulting is hard and sometimes you need advice on how to manage your finances or if a loan is right for your circumstances.
Best of luck 🌺
She should absolutely be pitching in, you’re going to have a hard life with a wife like that.
you suck. i had a whole paragraph explaining why, but it’s not even necessary. you just suck
Why the fuck are you even married? Sounds like you both just want to be roommates by the way you have your finances set up.
Are you and your wife a team? Are you planning to be together for the long haul? If so, then why are you spending so much energy keeping track of who contributes how much money to various expenses? Are you really going to keep separate finances forever? That sounds fucking exhausting.
You’re wrong to not use punctuation. Holy run-on sentence, Batman!
I’m in the military.
This is literally what BAH/BAS is for. If you didn’t want to be financially responsible for a dependent, you shouldn’t have gotten married. I despise soldiers like you who won’t financially support their families because they want to use their allowances for fun money. If you were my Joe, we would be having a serious conversation about shirking your financial obligations and possibly be putting this on paper to revisit at a later date if this continues to be an issue.
The only argument you could possibly make is your wife should be responsible her subscriptions because those are extras that she wants to have for her own entertainment, and her car note because that’s her property. Otherwise, BAH/BAS are meant to cover household expenses
Does anyone here actually understand BAH?
Your BAH depends on your rank and family size (slightly more for a spouse, more for dependent children).
OP is a child himself, so it’s unlikely he’s getting Officer BAH pay.
This is literally the shit my husband (Army Major) told me that young guys get into. They marry the first pretty thing that pays them attention because of their steady government paycheck.
The guys get in a shit ton of debt trying to impress these girls. One or the other ends up with more kids than they can take care of.
Bro just go and price picks you’d make enough for your kids kids
You’re married. Everything should go in the family’s account.
If she has your money, and you guys as a couple have your (just you) money – that’s ridiculous.
When a friend’s wife said that my response (as a joke) was “I hope he gets treated like your sugar daddy too”.