Superman could hear all the sex his parents had in great detail before learning to control his powers.

r/

Superman could hear all the sex his parents had in great detail before learning to control his powers.

Comments

  1. Showerthoughts_Mod Avatar

    /u/EitherChannel4874 has flaired this post as a casual thought.

    Casual thoughts should be presented well, but may be less unique or less remarkable than showerthoughts.

    If this post is poorly written, unoriginal, or rule-breaking, please report it.

    Otherwise, please add your comment to the discussion!

     

    ^^This ^^is ^^an ^^automated ^^system.

    ^^If ^^you ^^have ^^any ^^questions, ^^please ^^use ^^this ^^link ^^to ^^message ^^the ^^moderators.

  2. happy-cig Avatar

    When he couldnt control his xray vision he can see them too 🙁 🙂 🙁

  3. Crott117 Avatar

    He could smell it too.

  4. tiktock34 Avatar

    He could detect his dad’s thrusting pattern and his mom’s heartrate, too. Just from vibrations. Hell he could feel it when his mom turned on her vibrator. That poor kid

  5. Rohml Avatar

    Well in the way the characters were depicted in the original comic books it seems that they were older, and probably were not having “relations” anymore. Also considering the couple never had children of their own, they probably were too busy tending the farm and were content with each other without bed-time activities.

  6. ThenaJuno Avatar

    There is a short story from 1969, written by Science Fiction writer Larry Niven, about Superman’s possible sex life…

    http://www.jimbosworld.org/manofsteelwomanofkleenex.html

  7. mastermidget23 Avatar

    Superman could hear all the sex everyone’s parents were having.

  8. LiberContrarion Avatar

    His dead parents were having sex?

    He was sent as a baby from a planet going boom, right?

  9. Mysterious_Sir7076 Avatar

    It’s a wonder he didn’t kill Lois Lane when he came… lol

  10. TheRxBandito Avatar

    Well Daredevil can taste it.

  11. dramabatch Avatar

    If Superman came inside Lois, it would kill her.

  12. NecessaryMain9553 Avatar

    I can’t decide if I hate or love the internet right now

  13. mikeyd85 Avatar

    Perhaps, but maybe on a planet of aliens with super powers, they’d have developed better insulation.

  14. Internal_Sound882 Avatar

    Same Superman, same. I have sensitive hearing and am hypervigilant. I hear everything in the house, from my roommate (quietly) masturbating in the other room, to my parents having sex growing up. Me learning to control my powers was just learning that I need to wear earplugs all the time.

  15. Mukarsis Avatar

    Brightburn’s true origin story right here.

  16. crazyabbit Avatar

    No because his parents died on krypton

  17. TreyFy Avatar

    Comments seem to be be forgetting that they didn’t have super powers on their home planet. It’s the sun in this solar system that gave it to them. So, yeah, no he couldn’t.

  18. notwithagoat Avatar

    Feature not a bug, also adopted parents. So perfect youporn material.

  19. Ziggy_has_my_ticket Avatar

    His parents were childless old people before they adopted him. They were beyond their sexy years and to suggest otherwise flies in the face of the mid century morality in which this whole fantasy was conceived.

  20. agmj522 Avatar

    He knew his dad could be Superman as well

  21. Smile_lifeisgood Avatar

    Every morning Superman would hear his dad’s cock fill with blood.

  22. ahavemeyer Avatar

    Yeah, but he had no clue what was going on. Kryptonians just bud spores when they get wet.

  23. B1Turb0 Avatar

    But he didn’t because he’s not real

  24. mrossm Avatar

    No wonder he stopped liking macaroni and cheese, his mom stirring it gave him PTSD

  25. The-Zerdecal Avatar

    Now this is a true shower thought.

  26. CurrentlyLucid Avatar

    his parents…the neighbors parents…even your parents.

  27. painfullylong Avatar

    Thanks. I didn’t need that. He also saw it.

  28. little_guyking Avatar

    Maaaaan I’m way too high for this to be one of the first things I see when i open reddit

  29. Dookie-Trousers-MD Avatar

    He could hear the buttholes being stretched

  30. brotherhyrum Avatar

    Brightburn is starting to make a lot more sense

  31. Ooh-Rah Avatar

    Batman never heard his parents.

  32. badmother Avatar

    He wouldn’t, actually. His parents sent him into space while they stayed on Krypton.

    He only got his superpowers once he reached Earth and he couldn’t hear across the vacuum of space.

    Apart from all that, they were dead by the time he got to Earth

  33. Toiletbabycentipede Avatar

    Actually he didn’t because none of them actually exist.

  34. pookiemon Avatar

    He blew a hole through the side of his house the first time he jerked off.

  35. spinjinn Avatar

    I don’t think his family had superpowers on krypton, because krypton has a red sun and you need a yellow sun for superpowers. And his earth parents were conveniently/plausibly too old for that nonsense!

  36. BlackSheepWolfPack Avatar

    Martha and Jonathan couldn’t have sex, that’s why they didn’t have a kid

  37. mlc885 Avatar

    People have sex, Clark Kent is an intelligent guy. Super awkward as Clark, but what could he do? I’m not a huge DC fan so I didn’t realize he could eventually stop himself from hearing cries for help from everywhere. I thought he’d just hear a disaster in Europe and have to go there

  38. SiegerHost Avatar

    Reddit users thought way too much about parents having sex. It’s incredible how often this type of phrase appears here in various subs.

  39. looktalkwalk Avatar

    God watches people having sex with even greater details

  40. aloofinthisworld Avatar

    How did you think of this?

  41. scratchy_mcballsy Avatar

    Married people don’t have sex according to my friends.