Hey everyone, after reading a bunch of anonymous celebrity posts all admitting how draining fame can be I decided hop on the platform to share my own personal experiences too and basically just rant as I’ve been needing it lately.
I’m semi out of the limelight as of right now, and although a recently released film has somewhat brought attention back to me, I’m not NEARLY as famous as I used to be a couple years ago, not to sound vain lol.
For a while I loved being famous, especially during the first couple years of it. It was a hedonists dream, which I was. Parties for days, drugs until my stomach gave out (had a couple of really bad stomach ulcers which thankfully pushed me off of that path for good though, who knows where I’d be now if I continued my drug use), and the ego boost from the amount of people literally screaming just at the sight of me was dangerously intoxicating. I became arrogant. Something other famous people won’t admit is that fame can make the humblest person do a complete 180 and become the most entitled, assholish prick you’ve ever met. I mean seriously, I already come from a decently well off family but I was treated like a king by my fans and I just lost it and considered myself a god. Because I’m so out of the public eye now, my fragile little ego is suffering validation withdrawal lol and I have to be in therapy for my insecurity issues. People no longer scream when they see me, and that ravaging little selfish monster inside of me who just cares about being famous is now clawing at my soul and telling me I’m nothing if people aren’t actively worshipping the ground I walk on.
I know that all might deter you from me a little bit; who the fuck wants to listen to a self-entitled prick, who’s entitled enough to KNOW he’s entitled, whine about how he isn’t getting enough attention. I get it. That’s not really what I’m here to complain about though, quite the opposite actually. These past few years have been incredibly sobering to say the least, after my fame faded I became one of pop-culture’s afterthoughts and at first, I figured I would embrace fading into obscurity with open arms but that’s not what happened.
I just broke down, I lost control of my emotions entirely and I lashed out at everyone I loved because I couldn’t bear the thought that I had lost something I considered so sacred: my reputation. I devolved into madness essentially, never going out or leaving my room, never making an effort to reach out to my old friends I had promised I’d stay in touch with after my career took off, just aimlessly pacing my room for hours at a time whilst talking to myself almost daily for about a year until I finally decided to make the commitment to therapy.
After a few years, things got soo much better and I was able to stabilize my mental health again, thankfully.
But I still noticed the stares in public, I still had people coming up to me with starstruck eyes asking me to sign something and at first, these interactions felt wholesome and I felt amazing that I was making someone happy albeit through small gestures. But over time I became desensitized to this type of treatment and I came to desperately miss having privacy I, a couple years ago, would have traded time and time again for another 15 minutes of fame. On top of that, every friend I reached out to had either straight up told me they don’t feel comfortable hanging out with me because I’m somewhat political outspoken and they all unanimously agreed they didn’t want to associate with someone who so notoriously carries differing ideological beliefs.
Fair, but, idk. I miss people so much. Even up until now I haven’t been able to sustain a community of people I truly connect with. Every interaction I have feels so fake, so driven not by genuinely wanting to get to know me but instead by having the idea in these people’s heads that they are friends with a celebrity or are dating a celebrity. I’m the kind of person who NEEDS a community to thrive or to even keep afloat in life in the first place and I can’t find any of that. I’m so alone. I’m so fucking alone
I just miss my high school girlfriend so bad, too. I know this is weird coming from a whole ass celebrity who shouldn’t be having trouble with people skills to the point where he misses someone who left so long ago but I miss her like hell and I miss her eyes, and her hair, her perfume especially.
I remember one night we were sitting on her porch and the rain kept pouring down from the storm and she told me she loved the thunder and I just had my arms around her tight and I could smell her perfume and the scent of her hair and I remember holding her so tight as to protect her and thinking god how I love my girl. I just want one night back with her and maybe if god grants me this I’ll just end it after because I really don’t see a point besides her sometimes. I really can’t recall a single other time in my life when I felt the true unbridled beauty of life than when I was with this girl.
God help me, I don’t know what to do.
Edit: Thank you to everyone who gave me advice on my situation, it means the world and I’ll get to replying later in the day. A lot of people think this was written by chat gtp or whatever, I don’t really care, just don’t comment if you read this and think it was written by a robot because I’m not gonna bother responding to comments like that. The last paragraph was a purely stream of consciousness portion. I really hate AI accusations more than AI itself at this point lol.
Comments
When will my fav celeb post here. Why don’t you try to contact her though?
I honestly have come to believe that getting something that truly intoxicates you is very traumatic. I don’t mean drugs, I mean shit like true love, fame, and power. I had a taste and it broke me when it went away. Years later, I have become someone that person wouldn’t have recognized: kind, humble(d), empathetic. I live to serve and to enjoy the gifts I have. That’s a daily struggle, but it’s one that pays off more every year.
Find your peace, learn to serve, and seek out a community of people who are like-minded.
Edit: just wanted to add that for me, church has been very important in moving past my old self. Not religion itself, per sé, but a wholesome community focused on serving others and just being people. And dabbling in a little bit of faith doesn’t hurt either. 😉
Fame is addictive.
You’ve done a good job of reflecting on fame and the impact it’s had on you.
I’m not famous but even I know that fame is overrated.
I think you are in a bad patch right now which is why you feel like this.
Just remember nothing changes if nothing changes.
Take small steps to make yourself more fulfilled x
what do u do when ur working but have to poop so bad
Do you game? As an introvert who doesn’t leave the house, I have made amazing friendships online in my gaming community. There is anonymity there. Great social connection, and fun gaming to top it off.
Sorry for your current struggles. I’ve learned through my work in the mental health space that everyone has struggles and trauma. Doesn’t matter how much you make or how well known you are. We are at on the same boat trying to stay afloat and stay happy.
Keep sailing.
Edit: typo clarification.
You’re not alone in how you’re feeling, although I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. I second an online community, maybe creating an anonymous account and meeting friends through games.
I’m someone that suffers from anxiety and depression up to the point of being on long term disability, and when the thoughts get bad it helps to know I can pick up the phone and reach out to one of my online friends. There’s good people out there and you deserve to be here as much as anyone else in this world. (:
I haven’t read any other celebrity posts; to be honest I’d have a hard time believing they were actual celebrities. But regardless of whether you are or not, it’s clear you’re going through a bad mental health period.
You mentioned you’ve been in therapy previously, do you have access to the same therapist you saw before? It might be worthwhile to reach out to them, even if they’re not available they might have some suggestions for someone else.
Do you have any friends? Anyone close to you that you can lean on? I know from experience how difficult it can be to lose friends for whatever reason, but it’s always worth some self reflection on what went wrong in your relationship with them, and try and make changes if possible.
As a celebrity you’ve experienced and gone through things that the average person can’t emphasize with. We can sympathize, but I’d imagine it can be hard to talk to people about things they know nothing about. My previous job was also one that people who hadn’t done that type of work would have a hard time understanding, and the trauma from it made it hard to talk about as well.
I’m currently in deep low of my depression; most days I just can’t even see the point of getting out of bed. My dog is basically my reason for getting up, he needs to be taken for walks, and fed and played with and that definitely helps (have you thought about maybe getting a dog or pet of some sort?) but the thing is, deep down I know things will get better. Once I lose hope for that, I’m done.
I hope you are able to get some help and sort things out. I wouldn’t wish depression on anyone, I’d give anything to be somewhat “normal”. But you aren’t alone. Please take care of yourself, ok OP? You aren’t alone absolutely worth it.
Hey, I’m not famous or anything like that, but I honestly relate to a lot of what you wrote. Especially the loneliness, and that feeling like no one really sees you or knows who you are anymore. Life just gets weirdly isolating, even when it looks full from the outside. You’re definitely not alone in feeling that way, even if it feels like it most of the time. I struggle with this isolation daily and know how hard it is.
I feel like you’re not just venting—you’re grieving. Not just the fame, but the people, the connection, even the version of yourself you used to be. And honestly, I don’t think that makes you self-entitled. That just makes you a person who’s been through some whiplash-level change and is still trying to make sense of it. What’s great is your introspection and the fact you realised this did make you arrogant. That’s what you need to celebrate because that’s a hard thing to do. Honestly, give yourself credit for recognising that and actually wanting to change.
That voice in your head that only knows how to feel valuable when people are watching or praising you? I get that, just in a smaller, quieter way. That need for outside validation can really mess you up. Therapy’s a good step—I hope it keeps helping.
I don’t want to toss advice at you as someone who doesn’t fully know your situation, but maybe there’s something in taking what fame gave you—money, access, platform—and turning it toward something outside of yourself. Not for the image or the credit, but just to feel useful in a different way. Donate to a cause you care about. Volunteer somewhere. Be part of something where you’re not the center, but you’re still showing up. Then you can try and get the validation of doing good and meet more genuine people?
Also—and maybe this is underrated—but online communities like this can be a place to find real connection. No one knows who you are, and that’s kind of the point. Just people talking, being honest. Could be something worth exploring.
Anyway, your post hit home and I want you to know that you may be more alone in your actual experience of being a celebrity but you’re not alone in those feelings you have. And I mean this genuinely, reach out if you want to talk.
From what I’ve read, she blocked you but you know what, there are so many women out there who can be just as wholesome. It’s so difficult to see right now because you’re in a dark hole and when you’ve reached that point, climbing out is hard if not impossible but everything is possible.
Today’s problems aren’t tomorrow’s problems or next months or next year’s. You’re going to be okay. You just can’t see it. Reach in deep and I promise you’ll be able to find it , find it in the little things, go to the park, watch a pigeon being silly, watch a mom interact with her toddler, just look around and touch base a little, I promise you’ll find it.
I really hope you find the ladder to climb out . I wish I could give it to you but you have to pull it out from inside of you.
Sending you loads of peace and love and light.
Ps, you should be so proud of yourself because you’re on your way to healing eve if you don’t realize it.
yeah this screams chat gpt. nice try
Do you live in LA? I think a change of environment would really help you.
For what it’s worth friend, your worth isn’t defined by what other people think of you – or even need of you.
Step back and change your environment. Hit up a place where nobody cares who you are and absorb as much of that as you can.
We all miss our high school relationships. Not because we miss them actually but we miss the time in life and the snapshot. You miss people? Pick something you care about and go volunteer!!!! For the elderly or the homeless or the disenfranchised or some group of people that resonates with you that would benefit from your attention. You got this! Life is not easy whether you’re famous or used to be famous or not famous at all. Hang in there, you’ll figure it out.
You say ALL your friends want nothing to do with you due to your ideological beliefs? Are you a Trumper and that’s why they’re not interested? Or are they and you’re not?
If EVERY friend abandoned you that’s a bit strange and I’d like to know exactly what these “differences” are.
[deleted]
Hmmm, my fave celeb went through something similar so now I’m curious. But I will say, I had the opportunity to make a career in music in my twenties, and the first time someone asked me for my autograph in public it freaked me out bad enough that I quit. Pissed off a lot of people too, I got in a bit of trouble, but I still think I made the right call.
I realized I didn’t want to lose my anonymity. I thought I wanted to sing and could handle being famous, but the reality of it was too much. Strangers already approach me frequently in public and I’m not McLovin it, there’s no way I could deal with screaming crowds.
If you need a safe person to vent to with lots of life experience, who doesn’t gaf that you’re famous, my DMs are open to you.
Edit: word
Maybe ask your mommy to make you a cup of tea?
‘never going out or leaving my room’
‘ just aimlessly pacing my room for hours’
btw, I like the dramatic non-period here
‘I’m so alone. I’m so fucking alone’
It’s Bob Dylan
You got this, Stanley Tucci!! (Jk) I hope you find your solid footing & your real people again.
No one cares if you’re real or AI, just please leave us peasants alone omfg
An THIS is why I don’t fan girl when I see a celebrity out in the “ wild”. If it an official event , movie shoot or meet & greet..yes. They’re on “ duty”. If they are having dinner or out with their families.. then I might smile and nod but that’s all.
Back in the 90s, were you in a famous TV show?
You have the means, some prestige, (apparently) political views you can’t keep to yourself…why not try to do something good for humanity? Find your people and create a legacy for yourself.
Because yes, it does sound like you’re whining when no one is screaming your name but also don’t care for people wanting an autograph and oh how you miss people.
People haven’t gone anywhere. If you find yourself feeling alone, might I suggest introspection.
Congratulations on your movie. But perhaps a different way to stroke and feed such an ego is what is needed.
The extremely vast majority of the global population will never experience the life you lived, regardless of it being over now.
Appreciate the fact that you accomplished that and had first hand experience of it.
Now, accept that it’s over, wake up to the real world, realise you’re not at all special, not entitled to constant validation and appreciation and gtf on with it.
There are far worse things that could happen, or could’ve happened in your life
Fame is insufferable. Hope you come through the other side. I’ll never understand it, but that’s just a normal person’s view.
Kanye is that you?
Hey quick question – you talk about the intoxicating, ego boosting effects of fame, but what about the flipside? I feel like any celebrity gets so much hate online, and I just wouldn’t be able to deal with constantly being dissected under a microscope like that; people making unfair inferences about who I am and what I’m like. Is it just… easy to ignore if you don’t go digging for it? Does the praise drown out the negativity?
I wouldn’t shit on you for your feelings. Regardless of your position in life, you’re still a human being at the end of the day.
I’ve been fame adjacent my entire life through my family. And I don’t envy it. Fame ultimately looks miserable and lonely, just like you mentioned. I’ve seen it destroy people time and time again. A majority of people in the entertainment industry just want you for your status, money or the opportunities you could give them to be like you. And those above you that write your checks and hire you just want to use you to make themselves richer. We are all replaceable, but the trick is to make you believe you aren’t.
If your fame is dwindling and you seek peace, I might suggest going somewhere quieter. Get out of the city (especially if you’re in LA) for a couple of months, head to the suburbs. The smaller the towns, the less likely you’d be recognized and mobbed.
Shit post alert
Do charity work. Helping the less fortunate will make you feel good. Life is too short and impermanent. It may help you refocus on what’s important.
fame isn’t the only currency that matters. If you’re craving purpose, validation, or just something to do besides mentally scrolling through your fame memories, try putting that energy into something new. Volunteer. Mentor. Take a class. Do something where you’re not just waiting to be admired again, do something so you’re actually growing, building, giving, and not just sitting around waiting to die
It’s would be hard on anyone. Don’t blame yourself too much. It’s good that you can see both sides (all sides) now, and recognize what really means a lot to you. My recommendation, based on my own personal experience, is to find some key people that will let you be yourself around them, and won’t ask for anything you shouldn’t need to give. I miss having those people in my life, and am always trying to find those connections. They are rare. Good luck, and hugs from far away.
So, as a small similarity in everyday life, I have a theory that I over simply call vacation theory. Hear me out:
We all carry roles with us. Whether that role is being a father, a friend, a brother… or a (insert whatever your job is here). These are all roles that demand us to act in certain ways – a father puts his kids first, a brother has to have his brother’s back, friends don’t let friends… etc. At some point, over time and layers of these things, you get to a point where you may not know who is running your choices: you or your roles, especially if they’re heavy roles that have been in place a long time.
Everyone needs to, from time to time, remember who, exactly, they are under these roles. Who were you? Who have you become? And the only way to do that is to strip these roles off of you as much as possible and give you freedom to make your choices without the roles deciding your fate. You need an escape, ideally tenporary, to do that.
For roles at my own level, the escape can be done in a solo trip. No one knows anything about me. There are no repercussions against me – my choices won’t be viewed as if made by a (insert role), because no one knows i have that role and no one has that expectation of me. I can make choices based on who I am underneath those daily pressures and see and remember who I am – and let it guide me when I come back so that voice isn’t dead and over.
You, my friend, may have a massive case of these roles and expectations stacked on you. As difficult as it may be, you should try to find an escape from these roles and regain an understanding of who you are. Fame is, i believe, intoxicating and will always feel like a draw. But fame will overtake and swallow who you are – if you forget. Don’t be famous, man. If anything, be a human who happens to be famous, but a human first. Find who that human is.
At least you have money.
If this was real (it’s not), I think it’s Armie Hammer lol
Not buying this
Part of it also might be that you can’t get out of your own head and accept reality. I think everyone even people who aren’t rich and famous at some point feel like someone is using them. Half of Reddit is about people’s drama over feeling taken advantage of. Just accept that yes you have access to more resources and opportunity than literally probably 90% of the planet and then decide how you want to be knowing that information. Rather than build up a persona of being used perhaps try building up one of generosity. That doesn’t mean you have to accept false friends but it does mean knowing and embracing what it means to have privilege and that there are ways to find community around an ideology of abundance rather than hoarding. At the end of the day, many of the people you are saying you’re wary of using you are part of the reason you have so much abundance. Perhaps one of the reasons it’s hard for you to find community is because as you’ve said you yourself put yourself on a pedestal with all the attention. Trust me, I have a number of semi celebrity friends and what keeps them grounded is staying true to who they actually are, embracing the limelight when it shines, but recognizing that you aren’t a god and sometimes you probably aren’t even that great to be around. In essence you are just human. Sounds like you need to find a cause that is important to you and dive in with like minded people. The world is literally on fire right now and it’s more important than ever to build connections across status because at the end of the day no one can eat money. Put yourself status and resources to good use and I bet you’ll find that community you’re saying you so desperately long for.
Sounds like you need to take a strong look into yourself and your political views too.
You want a community, but I’m sure your political views are the opposite of community.
Can you send me some cash I need some food groceries are high rn
Volunteer. Do some charity work. Get out into the world and get your hands dirty doing something kind for others without expecting something in return.
Honestly so surprised that anyone cares.
Any guesses who’s this? Lol
Bit of a wildcard idea but could you move to a country where fewer people know you? Sometimes leaving it all behind and starting fresh is a great way to find a community that truly values you. You could take up a normal job. I think relating to others becomes easier once you share something other than just being a human with them.
Go watch the Red Sox doc on Netflix. Jared Duran was right on the edge too. His perspective as someone famous might be easier for you to relate to than mine.
Go watch the doc of the making if the American Idiot stage show. Billy Joe talks a lot about missing the community he once had and how broadway helped him find it agin.
But mine is that life really did get better when my depressed and trauma healed. I am so glad I was able to hold on and survive. So whatever you do, whatever happens, hang on for today. Then hang of for tomorrow. The storm clouds will pass enough for you to get help.
Therapy, get into online gaming (don’t tell people who you are), get some cats!! Go outside and take walks, say hi to people as you pass them. I am sure that having people adore you can be a nice high, but those “fans” only love you when you are high and can possibly give them something. I hope you meet some genuine people.
Well, we know you’re not Val Kilmer…
The truth is that we’re all human and capable of losing sight of what matters. We’re so easily distracted or we lie to ourselves just to get through each day. It sounds like you’ve got some self-awareness at least. Maybe you should use whatever celebrity or wealth you’ve got to do some good in the world now that you’re past the hedonistic, self-destructive phase.
And while I don’t know that getting back with your high school gf is even an option, perhaps that’s not the point. Maybe you just need to reconnect with that earlier, simpler part of your life and the people who cared about you before you were famous. Couldn’t hurt. Assuming you’re not too proud to try.
shadow work, dude. let the entitled prick speak and listen, don’t shut it down. by listening you will understand what exactly you are missing, and it’s not shallow, it’s deeper than that. it’s why you feel lost, so don’t punish yourself, embrace what the mind is screaming to you.
Why don’t you use your money to work within charities and organizations to use your power and influence for good, give you purpose, enhance our community. Find people who are genuine? Encourage peace?
You sound insufferable.
am I dumb, where are the other celebrity posts??
Have you tried watching old/clssic movies? Maybe they can help you gain new appreciation or perspective. There are lots available on Prime Video, you can browse there
Your story literally just brought me to tears. Having a community of friends is so very important, but these days people just don’t seem to either be able to or want to connect on that truly deeper level. Good for you for reflecting and getting therapy. Don’t give up yet. Find something that you truly enjoy and maybe volunteer in that community of people. If you’re an actor, maybe help someone with that. If it’s sports or whatever, helping others is a good way to get out of your own head and gives you the chance to interact with others in real life. We all need that interpersonal connection but nowadays there are so many people feeling like you it’s sad. I hope the best for you.
anyways eat the rich.
Remember that you are loved man. Idk you, and I love you. We may not agree with things, but what two people do? I’m a firm believer that everyone wants two things in life to love someone and to be loved back authentically. We spend our lives trying to do those things in our various relationships, jobs, hobbies, etc.
The funny thing is we always look outside of ourselves for those things, when the real love we need is from within. I struggle with this sometimes still.
It sounds like you have had a good life filled with many ups and downs, and that road has led you here to this moment, so you must have been doing something right.
Idk if you are a spiritual person or not,(I call my self “Christ leaning spiritual “)but Jesus says the two most important things are to love God and love others. And also to love your neighbor as yourself. Well, if the Christ dwells within us, and we are to love our neighbors, then we have to start with learning to love ourselves first.
You have given of yourself and sacrificed so much for the entertainment of others, that now it’s time to start doing things because you deserve your own love as well.
You’re a human being and everything you felt then and now isn’t abnormal. Famous people are still people and also have feelings and emotions. You experienced a life of fame and what happens after the fame fizzles down. It’s not abnormal to be feeling down and lonely. Have you connected with others who are at this same stage? It helps to know and talk to others who have and/or are experiencing this too. As for love, it will come when you are ready for it. Friendship is a good start to building something real that what you described you had with this girl.
It’s good you are reaching out like this. Do you have any pets? Hobbies?
It can be easy to fall into anything addictive like that so it’s really good that you’re in therapy but take some time with it and be gentle with yourself. I struggle with PTSD and anxiety from my childhood and just this feeling that I don’t deserve gentleness but remember, it took years to get where you are mentally so it’ll take years to undo.
I also struggle with a lack of community because I had to go NC with my mom and aunt and I don’t have a ton of friends left as an adult. I second what other people are saying about gaming. For example, I play Animal Crossing New Horizons and all the animals are so sweet and you can decorate your island how you like and they do stuff like celebrate your birthday which makes me cry every time. I would encourage you to seek out some cozy games like that to help you feel part of something and to join the Reddit communities because they’re very welcoming.
Politically, if you are a Trump supporter then you do need to really think and reevaluate that. It can be so easy to fall into that mindset. I was raised Conservative and used to be a trad Catholic for awhile but realized that all of that is bigoted nonsense. I would classify myself as very liberal and not Catholic at this point because I realized that I didn’t actually believe any of it, it was what I was told to believe so if that’s the case for you, then take a look at what you really believe versus what you were told to believe.
Please don’t end it, because it does get better and you have the means to improve your life financially which is such a boon. You can control your life to an extent and I hope things improve for you. Seek out that community even if it is anonymously and if you do decide to play Animal Crossing, feel free to let me know and you can come visit my island!
I find this all highly relatable, despite not having anything in common with you. When I was little, I wanted to be famous more than anything. Once I reached adulthood, I realized that I would hate it because you can’t turn it on and off
Great job taking care of yourself with stopping drugs and working on your mental processes
This really hit home! I work in parallel to some people who might be considered celebrities. My career touches that side of the experience of getting famous. So I’ve seen fame do exactly what you are saying. So many people in industries that rely on being in the public eye have a hard time making genuine connections, because it feels like everyone is competing and using each other to make their stars shine brighter. It’s a very public profession, but one of the loneliest. Only hearing from “friends” in the industry when they need something is a disappointing experience. There are plenty of others experiencing the same thing you are, so I hope you find your community soon!
As a former fan, I think I know who you are. Does your name start with Z and your real last name with P? If so, keep reading.
The loss of your reputation was entirely your own doing. You spoke of losing friends over your political beliefs – and it’s why you lost this fan (your old TV show poster that was once a cherished possession went straight to Goodwill) – but more so perhaps you lost them because you are a hypocrite?
I once thought highly of you. Once. You’ve spoken publically of love for all, of community, of rejecting hate and yet threw your hat in with those who revel in causing difficulty for those less fortunate, in tearing apart families (whether for the manner of their genitilia or for the color of their skin), who revel in their own hatred for anyone different. Some superhero you are, sir, hang up your cape! You have dirtied it.
Maybe sit down and watch your old co-star’s new show’s final season, and take a few notes?
Perhaps you can find your reputation, your career, your friends again if you take a deep look at whether your actions have matched your words.
Signed,
A Former Nerd
Sounds like you should serve the community. Get out of your own head and take care of less fortunate people. This will give your life meaning – if you can commit to it.
>who the fuck wants to listen to a self-entitled prick, who’s entitled enough to KNOW he’s entitled, whine about how he isn’t getting enough attention
The best kind of self-entitled prick is a self aware one! It also doesn’t sound like that to me. It sounds like you’re human and got swept up in something you were excited about. I’ve thought a lot about how awful it would be to be famous.
Some of the reasons you said like causing massive insecurity, but also if you’re more famous having your every move watched and sold to media, never being able to fully be yourself or if you do face constant criticism, people feel entitled to comment on your body and personality, etc. Yes it’s a lot of money but IS it worth it? Idk.
Have you ever seen the series The Other Two? I think you’d really like it.
Just moved to a new city and left our welcoming and loving tight knit community behind and we’re kind of in the same boat.
I feel you, I do. It’s tough to build a new life when you don’t know who to trust.
For what it is worth you are not alone! The fame part is unique but actually most people experience some sort of crisis of meaning and purpose and who they are. Whether it’s a beautiful person who gets old, a man who loved for his career and then retires, a woman who loved for kids and is suddenly an empty-nester, etc. I strongly believe that the only real path to long-term inner peace is to define yourself by behaviors you can control. For example – being a good person, showing up for people in your life, showing up by volunteering in your community, etc. Just know that by seeking community and comfort, you are actually part of an almost universal human experience.
Your post reminds me of when I was younger and more starry-eyed. I sought out stories like this, about how overrated and confusing fame is, to remind myself that it’s not all it’s cracked up to be and to focus on other goals. (And this was before social media! Can’t imagine now.)
Whenever I get a very small taste what it could be like, and people in my life (especially from childhood) act very strangely, I’m reminded again how weird it is. Celebrity triggers something in all of us, possibly reminds us of what we do not have, and feeds the hope that by being famous or fame adjacent, some sheen will rub off us and we’ll be happier.
I have a friend who I would say is considered a celebrity, and I appreciate that he never “forgot us” as his star rose. I imagine that he enjoys being with folks who he has a pre-fame history with, relationships that don’t feel purely transactional.
All this to say, this time in your life feels like an opportunity for another chapter, one of real growth and fulfillment. I hope you find it. Don’t give up. Best of luck!
I almost got vibes of Ye here, but it’s too coherent and makes too much sense for it to be him right now.
My SO is a former celebrity. What keeps him sane is gratitude. If you think fame and fortune can fill the hole in your heart and personality, and then you achieve it, you learn very quickly the holes are still there. Gratitude for all of your blessings will help. There are happy people in the world with no money, no fame, and heck some dont have arms or legs. Because you cant focus on what you dont have. That is infinite. We all dont have infinite things. What we do have is real. And if we are grateful even for the honor of existing in a world where many dont have that opportunity….We wake up every morning feeling blessed just for waking up. If you knew the shit we have been through, zero of it self imposed, you would wonder how are we so grateful? Because we have to be. We chose to be. Otherwise this world is a sad, dark, and angry place. Practicing gratitude can rewire your brain! There have been studies on it. Every time you feel like complaining, think of something you are grateful for. Roof over your head, ten fingers, a warm blanket, a delicious cup of coffee. Practice it and the complaints overtime will slow down.
Hey there, (this might not work for you, after all, were all different). But for me, I like to help people. Most of the time, I try to help people that already help OTHER people. Because I find that people like me, we just give until we can’t and then some, without expecting anything in return, but getting something in return really fills our “giving bucket”. (They say, don’t give from your “giving bucket” if you don’t have enough for yourself, you will end up burned out with an empty bucket)
People like us usually end up poor/starving/burdened but never really ask to be “refilled”. I’m assuming you have more money than you know what to do with, and sadly money rules the world and is a great burden. So why not find some “givers” and help them by paying their rent for a month, or pay their student loans/ credit card debt? Or even go around giving prepaid credit cards. Or donate to a local pet charity. One less worry helps and by helping “givers” you indirectly help a bunch of other people because when “givers” can give, they give 10x back to others who need it.
A burnt out giver is no good to anyone, but a full one, they are the ones that help move mountains.
Just my view, I find helping the right people, fills my bucket. And by having a full bucket helps me feel less sad/depressed/suicidal.
Maybe you just need genuine happiness, maybe your bucket is nearing empty.
Move to New York and be one of the crowd. There’s a reason why so many live here and putter around. Go back to school if you desire something different, be creative and write or paint, or find meaning in charity work helping to make the world a better place. You can be the next David Lee Roth who was a paramedic, or John BonJovi who is puttering around in his restaurant, at his kid’s game (back in the day), or saving people on bridges. Ehh, celebrity rarely phases us. Don’t you see Ed Sheeran walking around trying to get attention? New Yorkers are so blasé about celebrity most of the time that actually takes him a while to gather a crowd – and most of them are tourists. And if you are Ed Sheeran, please stop that, it’s holding up sidewalk traffic.
It sounds like you need community, man. Depending on your interests, you can try and find groups that share your interest and bond with them. Focus on that. You could even do it incognito at first, if you feel the need to. That way, people can bond with you as the person, and not with you the celebrity.
If you’re near the Burbank, CA area and are nerdy, geeky, or a board game enthusiast of any kind, I highly recommend Geeky Teas & Games during the weekends. The place gets pretty jam-packed! There’s tons of board games to play, and so many groups of people, some have even lightly cosplayed. Great place to show up and build community with all kinds of people, and no one would bat an eye if you were incognito.
There’s also some beach clean-up groups, Pokemon GO groups, cycling groups, you name it.
So many people elevate celebrities to this God level status and ignore that they are just human, like everyone else, and therefore need genuine connection and trust with another human. Otherwise, the loneliness just makes you spiral.
I hope you are able to find that connection and heal, brother. Sending you hugs.
I don’t know it’s beneficial to get down on yourself for enjoying the feeling of fame and how it made you feel intoxicated we can’t control our feelings. Noticing it tho and getting into therapy, your actions, are what we can control and what do matter.
I’m always happy to hear when people are truly taking care of themselves and that’s what I hear through your post. Your struggles are very human we all go through it to some degree. I am not famous in any way shape or form and I have feelings I feel guilty about too but I notice them, think and talk about them in therapy, and choose how I want to act. In my choice in how I want to act I always consider who I want to be, against my morals and values, and choose that path. It sounds like you’re doing the same, it’s hard work to look at yourself I’m proud of you for doing it and you should be proud too.
As for reconnecting with others I am also looking for new communities to create or join so I don’t have any solid answers even for myself. I had friends but recently I looked around amidst the political changes and realized the political views people around me had were just societal summarizations of how they saw and treated themselves and I wasn’t down to be around that so I have distanced myself. I’m not sure what political stance you have outwardly taken but I wonder does it still match where you are today in this space of more genuine self care?
Some possibilities I’m considering with finding new communities is looking at community values and testing the waters in places where there are a lot of shared values, I think that could result in some better connections than what I had. I have yet to make the effort on going out and extending myself so it’s just a theory right now.
Anyways… I wish you the best in your personal journey and I hope you find the balance that works best for you! You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders asking for help when you need it and having the ability to look inward and reflect those are both amazing skills that will get you far keep it up!
“Imitation of life by REM starts playing”
You had fame, lost it, got it back to a certain degree, went though some mental health issues and getting back on your 2 feet. Now, you’re missing the connection with real people…I think what you need to do is change your environment. You want that genuine connection, why not try to go to a place where nobody knows who you are. It will do wonders with your perspective on life.
sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders, which is always important. i’m sorry your journey has been so difficult and i hope you’re able to heal. maybe here is a good place to find friends you can communicate with- you have anonymity and you’re able to speak your mind without anyone looking at you through the lens of fame. i bet a couple people would be happy to extend that courtesy.
good luck!
This isn’t uncommon for celebrities. I’ve known quite a few and I’ve heard of many celebrities isolating themselves because of expectations. I guarantee there are probably even many in your own circle that have gone through that. It’s hard to trust others as a celebrity and see people as human beings — because you’re so focused on yourself. That’s why you get jaded by people noticing you, it’s easy to stop seeing them as individuals with their own lives and experiences. You start to see a wave of people and think “they’re all the same.” Especially since the type of people who will approach celebrities tend to be similar types. Sometimes pushy, sometimes attention-seeking, sometimes unaware of how they sound.
It sounds like you could to figure out your priorities, if you want to.
There are billions of people in the world. You can find someone that made you feel the way your high school girlfriend did, but you also have to make the effort to join groups and activities of things you’re interested in. Don’t meet women at clubs or bars or even through friends. Meet them in places where you do things you’re interested in that doesn’t have anything to do with why you are a celebrity.
There are different types of circles based on what activity you’re doing. If you’re an actor and you join an acting troupe, of course everyone is going to notice you. If you take a pottery course? Probably not. If you don’t want to leave home, join a D&D group or video game guild. You can just leave if you aren’t feeling respected.
I’m haven’t been a celebrity, but the feeling you’re feeling isn’t unique to you. Many people feel isolated, especially in the modern climate.
Hope you figure it out!
Nice try, Tommy Wiseau.
When I was in my early 20s people told me I should move to Hollywood. Yes, genetics and good looks. Like, when I turned 50 I was sexually groped twice for my looks. I never wanted fame, because pretty much all those singers who got famous in Seattle ended up killing themselves. I was also called a genius in High School. I could get straight As on my algebra tests without doing homework. It would piss off the students who studied hard. I was also very gifted athletically but because I was bullied so much I never played team sports so I found solace in snow sports. I married my HS girlfriend and never let her go. I dragged her kicking and screaming through life and gave her two beautiful kids. Now I’m 53 and one of my kids has tried to end his life about 3-4 times because he’s a genius who has done nothing with his life and he’s very distraught at the political state of affairs going on right now.
I tried to tell them growing up that being smart won’t get you anywhere in life, you have to work hard. Well, there’s a lot more people in your life telling you things than just dad and mom. So right now one of my kids is in rehab, and another one is an electrical engineer. Both of them have no friends, because, people get jealous. It’s isolating.
I’ve found a gaming community and support from strangers there. I was confident and happy all my life, but there’s a lot of mental illness in my family. My sister killed herself. My uncle tried to kill himself last year. Now I’m 53 and I’m an absolute mess. I drink too much. I have friends but the ones on the left drive me crazy because all they do is complain about politics. I have friends on the right who are more supportive but I can’t talk to them about politics, because, I believe in the things we were taught when we grew up.
My wife has settled down and has been super supportive, my oldest kid also keeps me going, he gets me out on roadtrips a couple times a year. We saw the eclipse last year for example. Otherwise I’d probably also quit life. We have a little bit of savings, because I could never hold down a job for too long because I can’t stand office politics. I worked construction work for a long time but now my body is breaking down. I have an estate and a will from my parents, but l can’t see myself making it that long because everyone on that side of my family lives into their 90s, or longer.
I have therapy lined up for the first time ever next month. My wife also has no friends and barely speaks to her family. Her dad died when she was 16. Her mom was deported. She’d drive off a cliff with me. But I can’t leave my family. But watching our country literally get dismantled by a bunch of rich assholes is extremely depressing. We joke about moving to Alaska and living off the grid and fuck this mortgage.
So, yeah, thanks for reading
I enjoy the ideas people are giving you wherein you can stay relatively anonymous, but you sound like you still desperately need an authentic, tactile human connection. Did your celebrity provide you with the funds to travel to somewhere where you might not be known quite as much? Or are you a bona fide, globally recognized superstar?
Also, another way to find meaningful connections might be to join a “hands on” charity – like working with Habitat for Humanity building homes or volunteering at a food bank or soup kitchen. It might not be comfortable at first, but if you put in the work and people see that you’re sincere, then people might open their hearts to you beyond your celebrity and you may become comfortable enough with them to open your heart at well.
I know you’re not looking for sympathy, but I do feel for you. I feel like we, as a culture, are so responsible for contributing to the poor mental health of celebrities. Like, people WORSHIP famous people for…for what? Actors? Because they’re good at pretending to be people they aren’t? Shit. I know regular humans who do this every day! LMAO! Singers? Because they sound good? Again, lots of plebes out here singing better than most famous people and we’re not falling all over them.
It’s really fucked up that we can’t seem to appreciate celebrities without making them feel like (waving hand around) THIS. I’m sorry for you. Happy for your good fortune and talent, but sad for the difficulties it’s brought to you.
I’m glad you felt you could come here and try to find support. You’re important just for being human, for who you are in your soul. Just like you lost yourself we often forget celebrities are people too. (Often rich people who are often stingy – I’ll assume for this moment you aren’t… otherwise my response to you is VERY different)
I can understand why you are reminiscing about that moment with your high school girlfriend. Cherish it.
I’m not a celebrity but going through an identity crisis so I can sympathize. I agree with others in saying find something you can really get into. Honestly, nothing will humble you and make your brain work like some college courses. Take something that is wayyy out of your normal interest and really make your brain grow.
Be well! Love and light
Ok Shawn mendes, we see you ✨🥹♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
Is that you, Perry?
Just kidding. I don’t know or care which celebrity you are. Your problems sound a lot like mine and so many others. Famous or not, we all feel the same things. We crave fulfillment, community, love – someone to bear witness to our short and meager lives. This modern world doesn’t have a lot of that, which is why people are dying by the tens of thousands from overdoses and suicides in the US and Canada – two of the wealthiest, loneliest countries on the planet.
We live in a fucked up world – make a couple mistakes and you’re toast. Rich or poor, famous or unknown, life can deal punishing blows to people who don’t deserve them while lifting up total sociopaths and giving them everything they could ever ask for.
The truth is I’m almost 50 and also think back to my time as a high schooler to remember what it meant to feel happy, fulfilled, loved, in control of my destiny, with a bright future. I did everything I was supposed to do, but made one mistake that has defined my life ever since. It’s terrible to always be looking back. When we are young we look forward; when we’re older, we look back.
It’s the human condition, brother. I wish I could give you advice, but I’ve only found more heartbreak by having hope and believing things can be better.
I’ve known a few celebrities and can confirm that many truly do have issues with loneliness. When you get too famous, that’s all that people care about. Nobody cares about the person anymore. It sounds miserable tbh.
The worst insecurity a human can have is valuing his worth based on people’s opinions of him.
If you want and need to be liked by everyone that’s not confidence, it’s insecurity. Finally letting go of that and not giving a shit is liberating!
Personally, I wonder what it was that got you to become a celebrity in the first place. Was it something that happened by chance, or was it something you worked hard and arrived to be? The two are very different.
If it was the latter, I would examine what it was in you that made you actually want that to begin with. The fallout after the celebrity status faded is a completely separate thing. It is a symptom of an issue you had before you became a celebrity.
Personally being famous sounds like hell to me. I’d never want to have a recognizable name. I can’t imagine a life where I couldn’t take a walk or eat at a random restaurant and have privacy. Not to mention fame very rarely comes with true financial security and could actually hurt your ability to earn depending on what people assume about you. I think of Gary Coleman and how much he struggled and suffered.
I now think this is actually true, though the last two parts about the HS girlfriend really looks like bot writing. Maybe it’s just unfortunate it came out like that for you. I feel for you. But it’s never too late. Please don’t give up. Online communities are a good place to start
Something that’s deeply validating is supporting people who need it most. Even if it’s just raising awareness, but especially donating your time and money, and using your platform for good. Most of us are struggling bad. Like we might become homeless or don’t know how we will feed our kids bad. Or we might get disappeared bad. Do you know how validating it is to have someone with your level of influence even acknowledge that? Let alone do something about it? Changing others lives for the better is a kind of positivity that is never fleeting.
To be honest, I’ve thought of this before. I never want to be famous because I feel like you lose your true self a bit. There are those few who don’t (like Keanu), but it’s so rare because the attention is an addiction.
I’ve always felt like celebrities feel this way more often than not. It’s hard to be famous and keep genuine connections because too many people take advantage of you and your popularity. I’ve met a lot of celebrities in my lifetime, mostly thanks to an ex who is in a band. I’ve met some that were really cool and down to earth, but most of them were actually really full of themselves. Again, the attention is addicting and will change you.
I’m sorry you’re having this problem not being able to feel a genuine connection, but there are people out there who don’t care that you’re a celebrity and will love you for you. You have to give people a chance to prove you wrong. I know- easier said than done. Good luck, OP. I wish you the best.
My guess is Noah Schnapp
Where are these other anonymous celebrity posts OP speaks of? I want to read
May I ask how old you are? It’s quite amazing that a celebrity can have common man problems like not finding your tribe or genuine connections and feel alone – just like me 🙃
At least you’re self-aware. You’ll be OK. There’s also been a lot of crazy energy this past month and a full moon this sat, so give yourself grace.
Welcome back to the sphere of reality – it sounds like you’ve had a unique life experience, and you’ve learned from it in many ways. That’s a phenomenal place to be.
Now its up to you to take what youve learned and actively integrate those things into your life through habit and active practice. Pay attention to when things are fuelled by your ego or your true character and you will iron out your new, whole self sooner than you think.
Its always a difficult thing to go from one type of life to another because everything has to be altered in some little way – the things you enjoy, you have to rediscover, the people who make you feel good and that you can feel easy around, you also have to re-explore that. It’s really just a good time now to reflect on whats actually important in a brutally honest way with yourself. Be wary of the old ego misdirecting you.
And lastly, if you have any residual drug or substance dpeendencies or habits, that’s probably the biggest external influence affecting your ability to integrate into your new life. It all fucks with your mood in too many variable ways to create any sort of normalcy for yourself – so i would go dry for a while – including drinking – during the time you figure youreself out.
I have never envied celebrities. Your life is on display for the world and normal people think that they have some right to criticize and judge your every move- social media has only made that worse. Even here it’s happening. On the other side of that coin, I’d imagine that fame is a high. And despite there being so many upsides to being out of the spotlight, once you have had a hit, you’ll always crave it. I don’t think that makes you an egotistical maniac or entitled, it’s just something most of us can’t relate to. It doesn’t invalidate any of what you are rightfully feeling.
No therapist but, would imagine you long for your high school girlfriend because that represents the opposite of your life in the spotlight. Someone who loved you for you, not who you were or money. Just maybe a thought to reflect on.
I think you know you arent going to get the answers to life from a bunch of redditors but, know that there are people out here who have empathy and see you, despite not knowing who you are or being able to fully relate.
Hey, you need to learn to separate your celebrity status from home.
Unfortunately, fame comes at a cost too. It’s a double edge tool. It’s useful, but it can cut you too. Like the veil that falls over you when you do become famous, people see that character role they loved rather than you as a person. It makes it harder to find genuine love, you don’t know do they actually want to be with you for you, or are they interesting in what you have? Assets ? Being with you because of your fame (they want to use your fame as a way to get attention)? Money? Materialistic? Do they actually want to know the person (you)?
It does make it harder.
Find yourself by going back to your roots, that’s how you sober up the high of your status. Remember what life was like before, do things you liked then. It is reconnecting with your old self.
You can’t control what others do, but you do have control over yourself and how you react and respond. You can change things for yourself if you choose to.
Fans are great, but you will have that obstacle it doesn’t mean you can become friends with fans or more if you choose. You’ll probably find more genuine relationships in people who actually don’t know you or your work because that celebrity veil is non existent to them. You’re just another guy. The more famous you get, the harder it gets. Because you become more well known. That being said you can find genuine people who are familiar with your work. It’s a matter of paying attention to their perspective and how they react around you and respond. Do they treat you like a celebrity or do they recognize you are an individual person who has that kind of work?
Here’s an example, I know people who “befriended” me , but as time went on their true colors came forward, they “befriended” me not because they were genuinely interested in spending time with me, but they wanted something from me.
I politely moved on from them. There is no need to start drama, just drop it and move on. That time could be spent finding people who actually care.
You are probably idolizing your ex because she represents what could have been if you didn’t choose the path you’re in. I get that it’s a nice thought or daydream, but you need to ground yourself in reality.
Celebrities, or affluent people in general, tend to forget that there is no ego in death. Live for you, not for the attention you will or will not get. None of that matters.
Also, is Tom Cruise nice in real life?
OP, if you’re feeling like this (and sorry you are), then you won’t be alone. Can you reach out to another person/people in a similar situation and become support buddies?
I don’t know if there’s specific support groups for the famous/well-known but would assume Counsellors/Psychologists who cater to this market would know, and if not-that there’s a new business idea.. 😁
You “can” get through this and when you have, you’ll have the insight to help others and that’ll help you gain back the piece of you that went missing and I promise you “will” be happy again.
Would you consider moving to another city or country? Come to New Zealand – apparently, we have an extra 8K Americans applying to live here with everything going on in your country. We’re also reasonably relaxed unless you’re a rugby star.. haha
We dont really have any celebrities here (don’t tell our Shortland Street actors I said that!).. eeek… 😂.. so if you change your look, chances are we’d never know..
My answer to everything (well, most things anyway).. is to get a dog. You’ll have to take them for walks and that way you get unconditional love, exercise in the outdoors (beach etc- hreat for mental health & feeling good), meet other animal lovers-who I’ve found are almost always a good, welcoming, social bunch and love a good chat about “Oooo- your puppy is soooo cute, how old is MsMcFluffyBum?.. look how my CardiB & her are playing… are you walking this way?”..
Regarding your first love, we tend to remember the positive things in our past and forget the not so great things unless they were major. You’re remembering things through rose tinted & we all do but chances are if you did reconnect, you may well be disappointed your memory was tarnished. On the flip side, by getting back to the real you before the superficial BS brought out bad traits- if your paths do cross in the future- you have a hugely higher chance of things being at least positive between you- maybe more.
But for now, please don’t think your life’s worthless. You were given what most people dream of (although personally, I’d hate fame-, give me rich annonymity any day..😆) and that was for a reason… so now, focus on getting back to the “You” you were and the “You” you & your old true friends loved. It’s still there- just hiding under the covers & needs to start with sticking your toe out, then your foot, and so on until one day you’ll wake up and realise- “I’m back, baby”😁
Take care 🤗😘
Where are you located? Sounds like you need some days back in nature. Come float on a kayak on the Caney River outside of Nashville. Do a little fishing, sip some beer and hang out with the locals. Get outside! We’ll even loan you a kayak, we have extras. Come fishing!
it would be crazy if this was Finn Wolfhard
I think if you want to be surrounded by a community and being known for who you are (not just a celeb), you have to earn it by other means than just being famous. Do something with some purpose and do some volunteer work. Find a cause thats close to your heart and that you can dedicate some time and efforts to. The world is a trashcan on fire at the moment so you will be able to find something to work on.
Everytime I read one of these I try to convince myself it’s Theo James and here I am once again.
Never came across a celebrity post before. This is a first and most likely last for me.
It’s a reminder that everyone has problems and everyone is more alike than different, but what I would give to have simple safety.
Hey, im proud of you. I just want you to know.
Writing this might’ve not been easy, but neither is living a life that doesn’t feel like your own.
Sometimes we all have to start over, and that looks different for every single one of us.
I am really proud of you.
Godspeed, friend. 🧡
I also crave community and meaningful connections. I have two dogs now so it kinda helps! Still get lonely lol, but it’s a rough time out there to make meaningful connections with people.
I second many suggesting a return to therapy if you can. I know, for myself, I have been battling mental health for years. I’ve become very self aware of when I need to get back into healthier habits, or just untangle my mind.
As for community – gaming is a big way to find community, make friends, and keep anonymity if you so prefer. Plus, you can still feel comfortable in your home. However, real companionship is nice too. It’s nice to have friends to lean on in person, so…are there any hobbies you have that you can get into and find events around?
I am the odd one out in saying all this, as I’m very much the same. I have a few very close friends, but I have more friends I’ve made online due to the gaming aspect.
I’ll end this with something I always try to remind everyone: celebrities are human too, regular people. You struggle with different things daily as well. I hope that eventually you can find a break through and some peace.
I’m sorry you are feeling so down.. 😞😞 HUGE HUGS TO YOU..You just have to try to remember that being a humble person and GENUINELY loving and being kind to others ( regardless if you get it back from them) are the ONLY things that REALLY MATTER in this world. ALSO- you will FOREVER regret it if you don’t find a way to reach out to this woman and tell her exactly how you are feeling and most importantly that you are sorry for any past mistakes.
Jeeze didn’t realize being rich and famous was so hard… Next time I can’t pay my bills, medical, get food, I’ll think of how humbled I was by this. Celebrities clearly having a much harder time.
Miles Teller. That’s my guess
I agree with all the gamers. Once Covid hit, most of my irl friendships fell off. I went through cancer right about that time and felt lonely. I met people through dead by daylight, monster hunter, evil dead and Fortnite. I had someone to game with every night. And then I started streaming and have a discord of the best people to spend time with. Life is funny. When you stop looking for the best things the best things show up.
have your reached out to your childhood sweetheart or is she now married with kids? Have you got any hobbies you may enjoy that you can get into. The good thing is, you are in therapy, keep going:) I cannot say I understand becuase I for one would NEVER want to be famous. I like my solitude. I do not have much advice to give other than the above as I have never been in your position. Just keep going to therapy and try and immerse yourself into soemthing you really enjoy doing.