my cat just gave birth but only one of the three cats survived. she’d sometimes put her kitten on the floor or in the living room where I would sleep because our room is being renovated. she liked putting her kittens on my jacket and putting them near me when I sleep. i usually placed them back in the box but today I woke up and immediately tried looking for the kitten to make sure they were safe, only to find that they were not on my jacket.
then I looked behind me to see that I had crushed them. They were flat. I move when I sleep. I panicked and I tried to say that they got sick or cold and died but when I tried to move them, they were flat. really horrifyingly flat. so I put them in the box and I dosed myself with alcohol and wet wipes and tried to wipe the stain on the sleeping mat I used, but I realized I was just covering up a murder like a criminal and I cried to my family and woke them up to confess and asked for help because I can’t look at the kitten or any of them after what I just did, I doubt that I will ever be able to get that image out of my head or even believe that I am human. I killed a cat while I was asleep.
I don’t know how I will ever be forgiven or how I can make it up to my family and the mother of the kitten. I can’t stop crying. Every time I look at the living room or the floor where I slept, I feel horrible, like I want to puke. I’ll never be able to move on from this
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had to kill a mouse that was stuck in a mouse trap for 2 days straight without food or water. it was suffering so much and its legs were literally ripping apart from the mouse trying to escape… I didn’t want to but i knew there was only so much that this little mouse could take so i knew i had to end it myself. i took the trap outside and got the biggest most heaviest rock i could even think of carrying and just like that, it was over. i hope that the mouse didn’t feel any sort of pain in dying (i slammed it as hard and fast as i could to avoid any sort of survival and let me tell you it practically disappeared) even if it didn’t i still feel overwhelming guilt to this day. i wanted to say all this because to be completely honest that feeling of guilt probably won’t go away for a long long time and it sucks but when you think about it in the grand scheme of things there’s sadly not much we can do anymore
Maybe… maybe if you started volunteering at an animal shelter or rescue place, honoring your kitten’s memory in that way could help with the pain and guilt? It’d be a bittersweet thing, but doing something good for others often helps a little.
The death of a kitten is a tragedy, but it’s not your fault love. You didnt purposely kill this kitten in cold blood and you don’t deserve to carry that weight on your shoulders as if you did. It’s a very sad accident, and the guilt you feel is valid and any reasonable person would feel that way. Take the time to grieve the loss, comfort the mother cat and grieve with her. This incident does not define you as a person
I’m so sorry. You didn’t mean to. It was an accident. Your family and mama cat still love you. 💕
Oh baby. I’m really sorry. The world is a tough place for vulnerable baby animals, and mama cats know this. There are a ton of things that can go wrong. It wasn’t your fault; you didn’t mean to, and you were just sleeping normally.
I would definitely channel this intense feeling you’re having into working with a shelter, like someone else suggested, or otherwise caring for animals. You’ll be able to see how much you CAN help and care for little animals, despite this crazy situation.
Love to ya. Hope you’re ok.
I’m so sorry. That would be such a horrifying thing to wake up to. It’s not your fault, though. Sometimes accidents happen when we share our homes with such small, delicate creatures. I’ve been through a similar situation, and even now, decades later, it’s something that I don’t like to think about.
When I was in high school, one of our cats had kittens. We even got to stay home from school and watch them be born. Mama cat wanted to have them on my bed, but we made up a box for her. All of us loved them like crazy and having them around was such a joy. They grew into adorable little buggers, fluffy and into everything as kittens are. One night, one of them apparently got under the recliner without any of us noticing. I sat down and leaned back, only to hear a choked screech. I’d inadvertently caught her in the mechanism when I leaned back. It broke her neck. She only took a couple more breaths, and then she was gone. We buried her limp little body in the yard and I was inconsolable for days. Now, looking back, I’m glad she passed quickly.
It’s not your fault, you didn’t intentionally kill them, you didn’t kill them in cold blood, I’m so sorry this happened to you, maybe spending time at a shelter might help or even seeing a therapist if possible to help with the guilt you feel
OH NO IVE HEARD A SIMILAR STORY ON QUORA AND ITS HORRIFYING IM SO SORRY
Same thing happened to my husband when he was a kid he’s a heavy sleeper and moves constantly in his sleep he ended up squishing his kitten too you get over it eventually but it still makes him sad bringing it up just know you didn’t mean to
One of my friends similarly suffocated or crushed his pet chinchilla while sleeping. 🙁 It’s really sad, but it happens and it was a complete accident for you. Also my other friends’ dog lost all her pups, and I think I remember she bought her dog a toy or stuffed animal or something like that for her to take care of? I don’t really remember but maybe you can look into something like that for your cat. I know this must be really hard for you and I hope you can eventually learn to forgive yourself. It wasn’t your fault. And just know you aren’t completely alone in having an experience like that.
Oh honey, I’m so sorry. That genuinely is horrific to wake up to and is not your fault. You didn’t know the kittens were there and you move in your sleep. It’s just a horrific thing that happens sometimes, and you aren’t alone, and it’s not your fault. Can you try and talk to a councelor or therapist? Even though you didn’t purposely kill the kittens it’s gonna be really hard to deal with and having someone help may be good
You are not a bad person ❤️
i’ve never told anyone this (but my boyfriend and the friends who were there) but i had this same thing happen to me. my ferret, she was the most loving cuddly chunky little thing. i had friends over and she was free roaming, she got under the air mattress i was sitting on and bouncing about on. genuinely do not know how she managed to get under there without me noticing at all. i searched for her and i found her quite literally pancaked. even typing this is making my chest hurt. sometimes awful things happen. please just take it easy on yourself and i’m so so sorry this happened to you 🙁 hugs
My dad did the same thing as a teenager and he felt sooo bad ever since. He’s still EXTREMELY wary of letting our pets sleep in bed with him but they’ve all decided his bed is their favorite
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My ex accidentally crushed our kitten in the rocking chair. He sat down and didn’t realize the kitten was under the chair, and he crushed it.
The kitten would forgive you. Animals don’t hold anything against people.
It was a horrible, horrible accident, you didn’t mean to kill the kitten.
I accidentally killed one of my budgies 😔
I accidently stepped on a kitten once …I felt awful. I don’t know why else to say. I am so fucking sorry
As someone who had to watch several cats bleed out and die horrifically in my arms due to my irresponsible mother and neighbors, starting with my very first cat I got as an 11 year old kid,
I COMPLETELY feel your pain. And I am so fucking sorry.
If you need someone to talk to about this, or help you move on & heal/forgive yourself, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me. I feel your pain on so many levels and that is the worst feeling in the fucking world
Hey is nobody going to say “let’s get this cat fixed btw so no more babies?”
I can never wash away the guilt of accidentally cutting a kittens tail because the mother cat was pulling it away from me. I cant imagine this one bro holy fick 😭💀
Something similar happened to me during the summer between elementary and middle school…
People say it wasn’t your fault but it was. You crushed the kitten.
Thing is though you didn’t do it on purpose.
The best thing you can do now is to make sure it doesn’t happen again by making sure the babies are safe, if there is a next time.
I’m so sorry. I hope you’re ok.
Sometimes the world is simply a cruel place, both to you and those kittens. It wasn’t your fault and you could not have changed this outcome. It just really, really sucks right now. I’m not sure if anything people say here can change that. I wish it could though. I hope you can remember them for the cute little beings they were and mourn their loss without blaming yourself someday.
Same thing happens to human children when adults sleep in the same bed. Small animals probably too. This reminds me of when my kittens started to die due to the cat flu. Only one was left and it was really sick but recovering. I was looking for it cuz I didn’t know where it is, and taking the covers off the bed I accidentally threw it across the room because its claw was attached to the covers. It died later that day. And I was 10, maybe 9. It’s okay to be sad since a bad thing happened. You were the way it died, yes, but it wasn’t your intention to hurt it and it wasn’t you who placed the kitten there. Therefore you didn’t kill it. Cats aren’t really good in predicting outcomes, the cat just knew it could trust you but didn’t know you were able to be asleep this heavily. It’s okay to cry, just make sure you cry covered in pillows and blankets with a hot chocolate in hand because it wasn’t your fault
Kittens don’t produce enough heat so mama cat probably kept placing them by you for warmth. She doesn’t know better and you can’t control what you do when you are unconscious so this is nobody’s fault.
I would recommend placing an electric blanket/hot water bottle wrapped in a blanket in the box for the surviving kitten and if possible closing a door between them and where you sleep but don’t beat yourself up over it. These things happen sometimes unfortunately.
I’m so so sorry. Check around your area for shelters where they have a kitten who is without a mom and needs nursing or a very young kitten to give to your cat.