My 16th birthday is soon and im so fucking done. Every year around my birthday my mom turns into the biggest shithead and I should be used to it but it gets worse every year. I keep trying to blow it off but she went too far tonight. For context of what im about to say my mom got me something really nice for christmas about a year ago and it was really expensive I agreed to help pay and she asked for 600$ ive been giving her the paychecks happily. She complained about her wardrobe so I gave her 130 more dollars of my paycheck to go and buy herself some clothes. I bought myself a really nice necklace because I dont treat myself often, I always feel too guilty she spent it on shoes and this morning complained about her wardrobe choice and I mentioned the money I had given her, shes mad I brought it up. Im homeschooled and ive mostly taught myself, im advanced In ela and normal in my math. I figure skate but I do it for fun and get burnt out easy. Ive wanted to be a nurse for 2+ years now and im very committed to it. I have pets that I fully pay for so its a treat when I have spending money for me. Here lately I have because I made an extra 500 this week playing games on my phone. I wanted to spend some of that on clothes and I felt guilty so I went to my mom to ask if I should because I feel guilty. It turned into her bashing me once again today. Every day for the past week actually. Telling me I quit everything when it gets hard. It wasnt even related to what I asked. Then she flipped it over to her and got mad that I made her feel bad about the money and how she spent it. Then got mad that I didnt like the shirts she just bought..I just dont think They are nice looking or will make her feel good about herself but whatever its not my choice. Im usually a very calm collected person when it comes to stuff like this but im doing so well right now and I have been taking it up the ass just so we can be peaceful but this hurt too bad. How can you call me a quitter and tell me you think I’m just gonna quit college. Her response for me wanting a break from skating so I don’t get burnout from the one thing keeping me sane was “boohoo” I’m hurting enough rn. 16 is a huge number and I’m doing so damn well I have very little family in my life and me and her usually are supportive with each-other. I never lie to her and shes been an amazing mom genuinely amazing and she has worked so goddamn hard for us but that was way too much for me. I can handle her bad attitude most of the time but this? This is a new low and I’m fucking done putting on my fake face and brushing it off. Im hurt. My own father tells me I need to pop a Xanax even though he isn’t in my life anymore and my own mother calls me a quitter when I’m asking for her support. My room is clean rn and its the perfect time to do it. Maybe I can use my exquisite writing skills that amount to nothing into a note that will be the end of everything. Maybe Then people will realize my feelings have value too. I cant do this for another two years. Im not a quitter im very driven and everyone else would say that about me. Just sometimes everyone needs a break. I dont wanna feel guilty for taking a break. Ive been working since I was legal to work. And working hard since the minute I took my first breath. I love her but Im ready to clock out. I know she loves me too but her feelings about me are like night and day.