I’m in my 40s, have a decent career, a family, and do all the “adult” things—but sometimes I feel like I’m just winging it, like I never fully arrived at being a real adult. Am I failing or is this all normal and human?
I’m in my 40s, have a decent career, a family, and do all the “adult” things—but sometimes I feel like I’m just winging it, like I never fully arrived at being a real adult. Am I failing or is this all normal and human?
Comments
Sounds like you figured it out- we’re all just winging it, man!
i am 35 and still feel the same as my 14-year-old self – maybe with more experience and knowledge, but my inner voice is still hers.
Because there is nothing about being an adult (in the social and cultural sense) that is observable and measurable by science. Physiologically? Sure. At some point you hit physical maturity and I am sure there are measurable ways to determine that a person is an adult and not an adolescent any longer.
But there is not a special bell that will ring when you become an adult. You do not get a certificate from the National Institute of Adult Certification. There is not a special ceremony where everyone will proclaim you to be an adult (at least not for north America).
This is normal, and this is just imposter syndrome where you feel like you are not qualified for being an adult despite the objective fact that pretty much everyone else in your life would probably say without hesitation you are one.
You do not need to feel like an adult to be one. So stop worrying about feeling like and adult, and just carry on doing the various adult things you are already doing.
END COMMUNICATION
I’m only 25, so I’m not quite at the same stage as you, but I can relate. Society tends to portray adulthood as this phase where people are confident, self-assured, and have everything figured out. But in reality, so many of us feel like we’re just improvising our way through it. Keeping up that appearance of confidence can be a way of coping, that’s why it always seems like most adults have their shit together. It’s normal and should be embraced.
I think it’s because as kids we see adults as having things figured out. So we associate adults as having things figured out but of course you probably don’t have things as an adult so you don’t feel like an adult
Are you also maybe neurodivergent? I know a lot of us feel that way.
Imposter syndrome
Everyone is faking, and those who think they’ve figured it out are self-deluded
You haven’t been tested yet. Real man shit.