I haven’t had a guy friend for a long while, and the ones I had before definitely teetered more toward romantic where it was clear they liked me and I liked themđź‘€ but I have a few guys I’d like to hang out with plantonically, & would love advice – how to walk the line, or is it even possible for two single, straight people of the opposite gender, past typical marriage age, to just spend time together without it getting funky and complicated fast?
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You could start buying straight guys some beer and chicken wings. See where it goes from there.
Feel like 95% of men who are friends with semi attractive women are going to have a sexual/romantic goal in mind. No matter how long or if they ever make a move on it
I wouldn’t say that it’s possible at 28. That’s age where people are starting to settle down get married. Median marriage age is 29-30 in the US.
You can find men that find you terribly unattractive and then proceed to talk to them and see if they’ll tolerate a real friendship. I’ve had a few gfs that were platonic over the years but not many. In the end we always drift apart for one reason or another.
Guys only hang out with women they want to sleep with.Â
Guys in their 30s are looking for sex.
I feel that only way you can really accomplish this is to either be unattractive, a lesbian, or in a long term committed relationship.Â
Honestly, as a man who had many female friends without sexual intent, I’ve always appreciate it if a woman who wants to befriend me just outright say “I’d like to get to know you as a friend. I’m not interesting romantically, but doing stuff together would be cool. How about we go hiking on Saturday?”
I don’t want to shag any woman I befriend, full stop. I enjoy their company, because I like them. And I assume, many men like it open and simple, and with less second-guessing.
No it won’t work
good luck, not going to happen.
The failure in your premise is to be friends specifically with single guys. If you want guy friends it shouldn’t matter if they are single.
That being said, if you have specific guys in mind, go hang out with them and fart loudly in front them. Nothing says “im one of the guys” quite like a fart
I’ve had many platonic friendships with girls. I treat everyone with kindmess and show interest in their lives. Those who do the same to me become my friends. Men are simple creatures. Just don’t ask a man out on a platonic date/hang without communicating that it is platonic.
Are you ugly and/or are morbidly obese? Should be no problem being friends with a dude then. Otherwise, if you find that you are classically attractive or semi-okay you have two choices: (1) live in whatever lie you need to tell yourself that your guy “friend” isn’t interested in you that way, (2) have no guy “friends”.
Pfff it´s such a difficult subject right there, in one hand 90% of the algorithm is busting men into the idea that all women are gold diggers, and the 10% left don´t have time to “chill” with a human being that only will burn the little energy we have to survive day by day, sorry to be so drastic but that how we roll the dice.
As long as neither one of you are physically attracted to each other it could work.
Ive had tons of female friends but its only because one of us was in a relationship when we first met or there was no sexual interest at all.
Gaming groups. Whether that’s online or in person. You’ll find plenty of men congregating those areas single or not. How to keep things platonic is going to be tough. I would say try to keep things within the group and avoid 1 on 1 time. It sucks but, you cannot just treat them like one of the girls with how close you become. It’s gotta always have an air of neutrality and distance to it. If you ever feel like they’re making a move you have to back off right away and make it clear with your actions that it’s not what you’re looking for. Most guys should take the hint. If not will have to be blunt or find a different group.
Best friends a chick. Literally the first time we hung out she made it dead ass clear it would always and will always be a platonic friendship. We messed up once and it sucked but afterwards we both agreed it strictly needed to be platonic and it’s worked out great. Going on four years of being homies. Both in separate healthy relationships!
Talk to them like people, don’t have sex with them.
It’s possible to have a long and platonic, close friendship between man and woman. I am 50 this year and my oldest friend is a woman who is a few weeks older than I am. Our moms started us playing together when we were 1 year old. Never dated, never kissed, nothing. And I consider her very attractive and I am I suppose reasonably so. A few other long term friendships I have had since college…my best buddy from that era married a woman I was friends with before they met.
So in answer to your question yes it’s possible. However with heterosexuals as we are there is always the underlying possibilities of feelings developing in a friendship of this type. That’s always a possibilittle either one way or mutual. I suggest you just be clear about what you’re into it for from the beginning. Most men these days have enough emotional maturity to understand it at least intellectually. But feelings are funny things and sometimes that’s not in our control.
Join a sports club like running or look for a local Dungeons and Dragons game to join.
So what happens when you find this “guy friend” and then actually get serious with someone else? He gets kicked to the curb?
In your own words you’ve tried this before but both had feelings, so what exactly do you want because it sounds like a waste of time.
Straight Men and Women can’t be friends platonically. There’s always a potential for something to happen romantically or sexually and this affects the relationship…..
This shouldn’t be a loaded topic but it is.
Guys will always want to fuck.
For some reason that bugs a lot of people.
Hit up the local gay bars…
You’ll find plenty of men who will not be interested in fn you and would be open to making a new friend. Win win
Why do they have to be explicitly straight?
If you want a guy friend, that won’t have the inclination to pursue a sexual or romantic relationship…wouldn’t a gay dude work? Theres a whole range of gay dudes that won’t try to get with you from the fem to dudes masc enough to make james bond blush.
Just be open and honest that you just want to be friends, men appreciate things being straight forward and laid out for them.
You’re better off finding a gay bff.
I’ve had and still have platonic female friends in my life. Things do get weird every once in a while even if it doesn’t start out that way. It’s not always on me too.
I mean you could just not have sex lol it’s really not that hard 🤷🏾‍♂️ I’ve had single female friends usually good looking did dinner dates out for drinks etc then went home. We’d even try to play Cupid from time to time. I had a friend that like it because it kept guts from bothering her lol never slept with them never wanted to I’m sure they felt the same. I prefer having female friends being a man.