The commute to work is 20 minutes, but it is a commute and traffic can vary periodically.
Your manager is a mid-40s corporate woman who takes kickboxing classes on the weekend. They don’t teach her to slap but you know she’s fit. She sometimes wears rings.
ETA: Your manager is the spitting image of Hillary Clinton.
The slap is strictly with the palm of her hand. No backhanding. She likes to wind up a few times before doing the actual slap.
You can wear a mouth guard.
You know the slap is coming, when you walk into work after being late your manager will instruct you to put your arms behind your back and look forward. There’s no shame in this process, your coworkers won’t tease you about it. It’s just what the company policy is.
You can be as late as you want but must come in at some point during your work hours.
Every progressive tardiness after 3 results in an additional slap.
The job is excellent, you enjoy the work, and you really see yourself going places there.
Do you take the job?
ETA: Follow-up question: Same deal but your coworker Marcus gets slapped in your place. Marcus is a sensitive boy and very much does not enjoy getting slapped, but you only see him for the 10 minutes you show up to work so you don’t know him very well. However, you’ve heard rumors he’s been looking at your HR files, presumably to find your address.
Comments
Copy of the original post in case of edits: The commute to work is 20 minutes, but it is a commute and traffic can vary periodically.
You’re manager is a mid-40s corporate woman who takes kickboxing classes on the weekend. They don’t teach her to slap but you know she’s fit. She sometimes wears rings.
The slap is strictly with the palm of her hand. No backhanding. She likes to wind up a few times before doing the actual slap.
You can wear a mouth guard.
You know the slap is coming, when you walk into work after being late your manager will instruct you to put your arms behind your back and look forward. There’s no shame in this process, your coworkers won’t tease you about it. It’s just what the company policy is.
You can be as late as you want but must come in at some point during your work hours.
Every progressive tardiness after 3 results in an additional slap.
The job is excellent, you enjoy the work, and you really see yourself going places there.
Do you take the job?
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Well it looks like I’m gonna be late 7 hours late to work every day. 200k for a 5 hour work week. Might ask her to marry me. Pay me.
So I could walk in at 2:45pm and walk out at 3:00pm and make $200k/yr?
I’d be working like 65 hours a year. Slap away.
sure. i’ll wear a mouth guard since im allowed. also ill stuff my face mask with tissues to lighten the blow a little.
Why would I ever be late? I could got 20 yrs without getting slapped. Unless there’s no PTO.
Or are you saying I could show up everyday at 2:59 PM getting slapped 5 days a week making $200k?
Show up late, get slapped, get paid, and then say thanks and ask her if she wants something for lunch (if she knows she’ll benefit from this arrangement, she is more likely to not slap me hard enough to concuss/kill me).
I’ll take that slap. I’m not going to do any work at this job, walk in, drink a beer, get slapped, go home.
So, I get to double my salary, work much shorter hours with a shorter commute with zero risk of the downside before I retire, and a job I enjoy?
Sign me up!
I’ve been at the same job for 17 years, and I’ve been late twice. I retire in seven years.
Is she hot
I work rotating shift work, less than half that pay and same or worse commute that I haven’t been late too in I’d say ten years… this would be cake and I hell if I wanted to I could pull like everyone else says and show up for last ten mins and still take it like a champ where is the dilemma here
So if you’re absent, do they shoot you and harvest your organs?
I’d be on time then leave 5 minutes later.
Everyone on this sub: either new kink unlocked or existing kink disclosed
20 minute commute? Do you live at your job that a 20 minute commute feels like a long time?
In a decade of work, making much less than $200k, I’ve been late…maybe twice? Hell yeah I’d take this deal.
I mean, if I enjoy the work, I guess I have no reason to not show up. When I am eventually late I guess I’ll pay her like $5 to pap my cheek instead of hurting me. Idk, how much does she want? What’s her motivation for slapping me?
But yeah I’ll take it
Does the slap have to be across the face?
OP most people show up to work on time damn near every time for like 40k a year. What world do you live in?
Sure I’ll take the job
Can I remove my glasses first? If so then slap away
Basically get paid 200k to be slapped twice a week
I would not be even remotely functional at 7 am so it’s a no for me
Is she like hot in her 40s? Then it is a win-win.
Do you think she would spit on me too?
Yes, would take job in an instant. I see no downsides.
Yea I’d absolutely take the job if I was getting slapped. If my buddy Marcus was the target I’d be more hesitant. I don’t understand what’s being hinted at about him looking up my address though.
So just like normal but three times the pay? Let’s fucking go!
So just like nursing but with shorter hours, more pay, more enjoyability, more possibility for career advancement (or at least the illusion of it) and the possibility of not losing your job after being late 3 times? Yeah, I think you’re underestimating how much of an upgrade this would be for a lot of people.
Every day? 5 days a week? Vacation?
I can deal with a slap for this, that’s fine. I already get to work an hour early because of my transport so I’ll have to adjust my hours a bit but not that much probably. Hello new job.
So I can show up at 0700, clock in, and dip at 0705 and still get paid? I wouldn’t be late, so slap free, but if people can come in at 1455, I can leave early.
What if I’m a year or two late?
Jokes on her I’m very very into it
On days when my work officially started at 5 or 6 am, I would be 1/2 hr early ‘just in case’. I am almost never late.
OP specified that I would enjoy the work and see potential for advancement.
Why would I not take the job? I see zero downside…
Re. the edit of someone else getting slapped in my place… I can apologize sincerely and make it up to him somehow. & the fact that I am routinely early and rarely, if ever late, will certainly count in my favor.
Yes, no hesitation. I’d do my best to be on time, but if i knew i was going to be late I’d take a sick day or come in at the last possible minute.
I’d take the job where Marcus gets slapped as well, but I’d make friends with him and pay him every time he took a slap for me.
20 minutes by car i presume? Is that highway 20 minutes, or like.. stop and go?
Cuase depending on the anwser that’s like 30 minutes by bicycle. Or closer to an hour 20.
Either or I’d probably take
I’d still much rather work over nights though. Any chance this place runs a third trick? It’s a small pay bump compared to what I make now, but it also requires less hours of my life to get there. So yeah, I’d probably play along.
Jokes on you I’m into that.
I’m taking the slap.
I’ll be on time for once
I mean, that’s weird, but in the last decade I was late to work exactly once, so sure?
As long as I can alternate cheeks I’m in. This is child’s play.
I was late once when I was 18. I’ve never been late since. I’ll take a slap, but I’m usually an hour early in case I need to make an emergency run or weather conditions.
So she looks like 90s Hillary Clinton? If I’m really late will she also spit on me? I’m sorry, but I’m not seeing a downside here. I get to come in for a few minutes every day to get slapped by a well toned milf before I head back home, and they pay me?
Personal feelings about her aside, can we all just agree that hillary Clinton was extremely attractive in her prime?
I already have a job that pays about that much (I’m in the UK), and have the benefits too.
I also have a WFH contract.
Why would I change, other than the occasional slaps?
Make it Hillary from her 20s and I am in
I’m showing up at 2PM every workday and taking a slap every three days. As long as I can protect my ear so I don’t end up with a burst ear drum, I took worse and far more frequent beatings from the age of 6 onward to about 20.
And I promise you a miner-turned ditchdigger-turned engineer can wallop me a helluva lot harder than a supervisor who practices kickboxing. Unless she can punch a hole straight through the door of a ’76 Caprice, and I mean from the external steel panel, through the lowered plate glass window, and through two more layers of steel before ripping through the upholstery, only to extract a largely undamaged fist (all because of a temper tantrum) she can fuck off back to the sandbox with the rest of the kiddies. I’d say the same about a male supervisor, but it would be harder to suppress the urge to retaliate.
(I’m a dinosaur who was taught not to strike women. Sexist or not, I know that I have the strength and training to break a woman’s jaw or destroy most of her teeth in a strike or two. I don’t doubt a woman could do the same to me if given the opportunity, but those inclined toward violence seem least able to employ it. That means, much like when interacting with high-ranking martial artists, they maintain rocksteady self-control; it’s a valued trait among the serious badasses to walk this Earth for which I am most grateful.)
Anything less than force likely to induce a concussion or TBI is gonna be more invigorating than anything else, TBH. Might need to work over a speed bag and heavy bag to get the surge of energy out of my system.
As for Marcus, I’d ask him to go out for drinks so we could hash things out. The point is I’m not the one slapping him, nor am I the one making up arbitrary rules in which he is punished unjustly. So why isn’t he paying attention to the policymakers who have arranged the rules and then pretend they have no choice in the matter when it’s all their own fabrication? It’s made up, so blame the fuckers making it up instead of another employee who’s cheesing their game.
If he listens to reason, great. I’ll be happy to help in whatever way I can that doesn’t jeopardize my arrangement. Hell, maybe Botox treatments and deadened nerves to the cheeks will fix it for him. I’ll pay for that.
If he appears at my house, that’s what a Mossberg 590 and Hornady Critical Defense shells are for. I’ve no compunction being Marcus’ friend, and I’ve no trouble killing him if he crosses the line by violating the sanctity of my home. I would expect him to do the same to me if I showed up at his place. It’s only fair. The world ain’t fair, but that doesn’t mean I have to be unfair, too. Our obligation is to try to make life fair if God can’t be so bothered. And if any reader’s actions serve to create greater inequity between people, they embody the problem. That’s how you know whether someone is holding the carving knife as opposed to being spitted and carved. (I kinda like the idea of lamb gyros having alternative meat substitutes to make billionaire’s heroes, though something is lost in reading it compared to hearing it.)
In short, if I can do Marcus a good turn, I will. If he intends me harm, I kill him the instant I can legally do so.
Does the commute time vary by mode of transport or is it 20 minutes by your standard commuting method?
Sincerely,
A cyclist.
I worked a job where I would be at the office before 7 to avoid traffic because my commute daily was 1-2 hours and I still had to work that 7 til 5. This is nothing but a godsend situation to a lot of people who live in places that concentrates work in densely populated areas with garbage infrastructure
Kinda sounds hot ngl
Slap the crap out of Marcus and get him the hell away from my HR file!
I’m 30 minutes early every day . I take the deal
I am starting to think these questions are social engineering about how desperate people are for money.
No. I make that much and i work m remote. Nobody slaps me. And I work roughly 5 hours a day.
No thanks, I wouldn’t want to have to travel in every day, and I hate strict start/end time jobs.
Is this some kind of kink you have? I’m never late to work. I’ve had a flat tire and not been late. Dead battery; not late.
My manager could slap me in the face every day for $200k/yr + benefits.
Can you just – not be late?
I’ll show up once a day get slapped go home fuck it.
Hell I should be paying her 🙃
If I don’t show up do I still get paid?
Will my boss come to my house and slap me?
For $200k/year? I’m assuming a Monday thru Friday schedule? Fuck yeah, I’ll take that deal. The salary alone is a little more than 5 times what I make currently working third shift.
I dont see the downside here
So… you’re telling me I get shorter hours than at my old job, better benefits, six times the pay, and my boss will just slap me instead of hurling racial abuse at me whenever I’m within hearing range if I’m late? Sign me right the fuck up.
“Joke’s on you, I’m into that shit.” – every male Redditor, seemingly
I already pretty much have the reverse of this for minimum wage minus the slapping (7pm-3am), I solve the transportation issue by leaving a couple hours early every day and have never been late once in 3 years, I could easily adjust that schedule for 200K, I fail to see the downsides to this scenario other than the fact that I’m a night person
So I can go home earlier?! Ill take it!
…man, I currently get to work at 5 a.m. This is sleeping in, and giving me at least 5x what I make. Sign me up. I don’t get in late.
No biggie I’ll take the money. I can’t recall the last time I’ve been late to work by accident.
these posts are stupid af
I honestly don’t ever remember being late to work in a single job I’ve ever had, and I’ve had a lot over many decades. I’d rather show up an hour early than be 5 minutes late.
Sign me up. I have only been late a couple of times for the last many years, and a 20 minute commute?
I am a bit weird. I like to be 10-15 minutes early, so I can grab a cup of coffee and say good morning to the other early bees, before starting to work. Those 10-15 minutes also works as a buffer, if old Mcdonald decides to take his twin mounted John Deere out in traffic, and slow down my commute.
Couldn’t I just have her arrested for assault and sue the company instead?
lol this is an easy yes
So I could walk in at 2:59 pm, walk out at 3:00 pm and have an average of 40 minutes of commute time? And I can opt to have a coworker slapped if I get tired of the Hillary clone slapping me?
Sign me up. Hell, I’d probably be willing to get there at 2:40 just to make it an even hour with the commute time.
I gotta ask, why Hillary Clinton?
Sure. I’ve been hit in the face harder by professionals.
Hot
I’d be fine lol, was always really early to work as I’d sit, have breakfast and get my day prepped. High school science teacher.
I get up at 4am and leave for work at 5 and leave to go home at 3 already…this’ll be easy
I take it, im on sick leave for chronic insomnia and depression so ill take 80% of that indefinitely
Keep my current job. Go to this one at 2:55 everyday. Get slapped. Leave. Go back to my current job. Double income.
Don’t threaten me with a good time!
Yeah I am showing up at 2:59 getting my slap and bouncing Byeeeeee.
Slapped in the face all day. Wait, that is a wall of text. Wait for the edit.