I (31F) work full-time as a graphic designer, but I work remotely, so I’m home most of the day. My fiancée (32M) and I moved in together about a year ago, and things have been mostly great — except when it comes to his family. They live about 10 minutes away, which is nice in theory, but lately, it’s become a bit overwhelming.
At first, they would drop by for short visits — his mom would bring over leftovers, or his sister would come hang out for coffee. But over the last few months, these visits turned into full-on hangouts during my work hours. They’d show up unannounced, sit in the living room chatting loudly, ask me to make tea or snacks, and even once asked if I could pick up his mom’s dry cleaning “since I was just home anyway.”
Last week, his sister showed up in the middle of one of my Zoom meetings with a basket of laundry and said, “Mom said you wouldn’t mind folding these since you’re always here.” That was the final straw for me. I wrapped up my call, pulled her aside, and as kindly as I could, explained that just because I work from home doesn’t mean I’m free or available. I said I’m not a stay-at-home spouse, and even if I were, I’m not their personal assistant. I told her I need them to respect my work hours and my space.
Word got back to his mom and now she’s saying I was “disrespectful” and that I’m pushing them away. My fiancée thinks I could’ve phrased things “more gently” and that they’re just trying to be involved in our lives. He said they mean well, and I should’ve been more patient with them.
But honestly, I feel like I was being taken advantage of. They don’t treat their own jobs or routines so casually, so why should mine be any different? I feel like I set a boundary that needed to be set, and now they’re upset because I’m not playing the role they expected.
So… AITA for telling them I’m not their maid just because I work from home?
Comments
I mean, who knew working from home came with an unspoken job description of ‘Laundry Assistant’? Maybe you should start charging them hourly for your ‘services’!
Your roommate. Anyone who stands with family is not your fiancé
NTA. You set a perfectly reasonable boundary. Working from home doesn’t mean you’re available for chores, errands, or unannounced visits. Your fiancée should have your back on this — it’s not about being disrespectful, it’s about being respected. You’re not their maid, and they’re taking advantage of your remote status.
If your fiance is siding with them… RED FLAG OP! Put a do not disturb sign on the door
NTA – An alarming number of folks think wfh is not actually working.
I’d ask fiancée how constant expectations of you doing things for them and interrupting your paid employment is them meaning well. NTA
He needs to tell them no coming over during working hours etc and that door will not be answered during working hours. If they have a key I’d change the locks
Why on earth even if you was a stay at home spouse would you ever fold his family’s laundry? What on earth is wrong with them that they’re so entitled they think you’re their wife too? Honestly kind of disgusted by your husband being so useless in all this as well, it’s his job to inform his family that your aren’t their servant and that from now on a phonecall before they arrive is always needed and if you’re working you’re not to be disturbed my god
NTA! You’re working, not running a community center or offering free housekeeping. If they want to hang out, they can wait until you’re off the clock like everyone else. Setting boundaries isn’t rude – it’s necessary.
NTA
NTA but your partner is. I’d consider this a huge flag that he’s not able to see the issue and instead of setting boundaries makes it sound as you were the bad person.
Maybe start by changing the locks and not giving them a key.
Are you sure you want to marry this guy?
He’s showing you that he’ll always take his family’s side over your, and that’s not someone you can build a life with.
Have a serious talk with him about boundaries and expectations regarding family, and if he’s not 1000% in your corner, just end the relationship.
LOCK YOUR DOORS and don’t answer during your work hours
How do they all have the time to pop over in the middle of the day? Aren’t they working?
NTA. Don’t marry this guy. He’s supporting his family to walk all over you.
Having you be their personal maid is not “just trying to be in our lives”, it’s obnoxious, bullying, entitled and just all-around assholery.
Change the locks and dare your “roommate” to give his family a key. If he does, pack his stuff and he can go do their laundry for them.
NTA… holy shit, I can’t believe his family thought you were just their personal maid cause you work from home! That’s messed up. You’re a grown ass woman with a job and they got some nerve acting like that’s okay. You did the right thing telling them to knock it off.
Trying to be involved in your life would include helping YOU with your laundry or errands not the other way around
NTA… It’s not your job to be their personal maid just because you work from home, like, hello boundaries. You set a clear one, now it’s up to them to adjust their expectations and respect it. It really is that simple.
Set some boundaries and just don’t let them in the apartment. Your work hours are X-Y and guests are not welcome at this time.
Also, tell your boyfriend (should not be fiance) to grow a spine, because if he can’t or won’t set/enforce boundaries with his own family, there’s no future in this relationship.
NTA, but you really shouldn’t marry that guy. When the deal is done, they will get worse.
Here’s the thing…..
Who brings their laundry to anyone’s house to have that person fold their laundry. This isn’t about whether you wfh, this is about disrespect and putative aggressive control
NTA. They are not just trying to be involved in your lives, they don’t understand work from home, and think that you are just playing around on your computer.
Stop answering the door, if they have an “emergency key,” change the locks. They can visit when your husband is home, he can entertain them, make tea, and give them snacks.
Get the locks changed so they can’t keep showing up.
NTA. Is your fiancé also home during the day, or do they have keys to your place? Why are they getting let in during your work day? If they have keys, then either get the copies back or change the locks.
Completely inappropriate for them to keep popping in while you’re at work.
You definitely need to make clear that they are not welcome during your working hours.
Start doing it back to them. Tell him your going to give the same energy back to his family they give to you. I’m willing to bet he will tell his family to back off because he should understand you’re going to make it worse for him. When asked why your doing that just say that’s how you thought they treated each other in his family.
Diabolical
This story sound a bit off. Who would spend that much time driving to someone else’s house to have them fold a basket of laundry when it would take less time just to fold the laundry.
NTA
Lock your door and set a Do Not Disturb for their numbers during your work hours.
You are Working and not available to be their maid. It probably took longer for his sister to bring their laundry to you than it would have taken to fold it herself. This feels more like they’re testing your boundaries to see how much they can control you than anything else.
You don’t want anyone visiting while you are working. Being at home doesn’t mean you’re free. Change locks so they can’t just come in.
I work from home occasionally. When I do, I shut the door and my wife knows that I’m unavailable except for emergencies. Your Fiancée needs to explain this to his family. It would be the same as bringing your basket of laundry to their place of employment to fold during their work break.
NTA. Lock the door.bif they have keys, change the locks. They should not be able to just walk into your apartment
Nta. Tell them they cant come over while you are working and dont let them in.
And you have a fiancee problem.
This is insane. You were too polite if anything. These people are nuts.
NOPE
What the fuck are they thinking coming into your home during the day when HE ISN’T there and treating it like a bar and snacks cafe and free launderette????
If they asked to come over and use your washing machine (QUIETLY) because there’s was broken, that would be one thing but to come over with their own fucking laundry and ask YOU to do it. I would be pissed off even if I weren’t actually working, let alone the fact you ARE working full time!
Your fiance needs to grow a fucking backbone and pushback to his family, not expect you to pussyfoot around when they are behaving like arseholes.
NTA
I would have started laughing uproariously if my ILs came by with THEIR chores for me to do during my work day. I’d laugh them right off my porch. That is absurd!
Send sister a bill. That should stir the pot.
Nta. But you have a future husband problem. This isn’t your problem, he needs to deal with this. And if he can’t, tell them in front of him, “I want the keys to MY HOUSE back since no one respects my work and I am not a maid for your family.” If they don’t have keys to your house STOP LETTING THEM IN. Lock the doors, pull the blinds. Hell put a note on the front door that says you’re working and they can make an appointment. Don’t let them walk all over you and don’t let your fiance act like this is no big deal. It’s not for him since he’s not dealing with it. You are. So either he lets you deal with it the way you want to. Or he can deal with it how he wants to. But both are not happening.
NTA like you said you set a boundary now they have to be adults and respect that and your fiance should be backing you up.
You need a different fiancé. Really. The discord has begun and will NEVER STOP.
NTA—and nobody means well when they drop off their laundry and ask you to pick up their dry cleaning. It’s not even subtle. They were disrespectful, and you were polite in response.
Your fiancée is showing you a level of disrespect as is his family.
Firstly – they can fold their own laundry – that’s the height of laziness to bring laundry to another person’s house and get them to fold it for you. As for you pushing them away – well…they seem very capable of doing that all by themselves by trampling over any sort of good will that you may have had towards them.
You were direct because you needed to be direct. If they want to be respected, they have to also show respect and not just expect that people will be around and do their bidding for them. If I were you, I’d put a hold on tying the knot with this particular individual until such time as they stop their family from dropping by. You were patient – but everyone has their breaking points.
I do have a question for you – if you and your fiancée moved in together, how are his family members managing to get past your front door? Surely you’re not letting them in? If they have a key – get it back and don’t do anything until you get that key back.
Last thing is a suggestion – if they show up again with laundry or whatever, point them in the direction of your fiancées place of work and tell them that he’ll do it for them. If they complain, then just say well you seemed to think it was ok to show up at my place of work with your laundry, why not show up at your son’s/brother/s place and see if he’s as open to doing it.
Updateme!
How exactly are they getting into your house to do all this hanging out? If you’re home working, don’t answer the door and/or don’t let them in.
This has to be fake. Came over to just fold laundry? To wash and fold the laundry or just fold it? That is a lot of extra steps to fold a shirt, then drive it all the way home. Am I missing something?
NTA. With that being said you should have shut that shit down a lot earlier, or at least talked to your fiancée. BTW why are they able to get into your home while you are working. Keep your door locked and if they have a key then TAKE IT AWAY. You need to tell your fiancée what his family does isn’t acceptable as your job is no less important than anyone else’s just because it’s remote. If he doesn’t stand behind you on this expect this to be your life.
NTA. And I’d be taking a hard look at your relationship with fiancé.
I am calling fake on this one. Enjoy your karma.
You have a fiancé problem. If you don’t grow a spine and either tell him to set his family straight or leave his ass, then yes… you are the AH.
There’s no respect here for you from either fiancé or his family. Surely you can do better. Because his behavior is not going to change. You are not the family maid.
WTF? Fold laundry? Do they have keys? Change the locks. Next time they come tell them that you are on deadline and close your office door.
About the bf: he needs a strong talking to. His family is messing with your money. That is not okay. At all. His family is not polite. His family does not respect you. I would tell him if he f’s this up you are gone.
Get your fiancée to explain to you how them treating you like a maid is them “meaning well”. It doesn’t even make sense. Start locking the door, take away their access to the house and tell them to find someone else to do their crap for them, such as your fiancée, since he’s so eager to help them. If that doesn’t improve things, get a new fiancée. NTA.
“They mean well” how is you doing all Theo chores meaning well?
So his sister drove 10 minutes EACH WAY to drop off laundry for you to fold? How long would it take her to actually fold the laundry herself? You have a fiancé problem if he thinks that is in anyway acceptable. He needs to shut them down. Hard.
Edit:spelling
No one takes a basket of clothes to someone else’s house just to tell them to fold them. Fake.
Updateme!
Why taf are they coming over, during the DAY, expecting you to drop everything to entertain them?!?! WHY TAF DID THEY THINK IT WAS OKAY TO BRING LAUNDRY?!?!
The absolute RAGE I am feeling on your behalf. They’re lucky you were nice. I’d have set it on fire.
NTA.
Why are they popping over mid-day with laundry? Either they’re unemployed or this is a bot being botty
Nooope NTA. I also work remotely as a designer. I think your career is also part of the problem here. For them, not you! As designers and artists, people think we just sit and doodle all day. Especially since we wfh. They view creative jobs as “not that serious “ because they don’t understand the workload. In his moms case, she feels entitled to your time and effort.
Your fiancé needs to back you up. You’re NTA
Do these people have a key to your place? From the sound of your post, it seems they meander over to your home and walk right in.
If that’s the case, change your locks and let them know you aren’t to be disturbed during your work hours. So, if they want to visit, they should call first instead of dropping in whenever they please.
Give fiancé the heads up that this is the way it’s going to be moving forward; his family’s behavior is ridiculous. NTA.
Of course, you’re not the AH. Even if you were at home all day just doing your nails while eating bonbons, you are not responsible to do their chores or run their errands. What you told them had to be said and needs to be respected. Because it doesn’t get better but it can become much worse. Imagine having them doing this if or when you have children. Yikes! You might benefit from having a doorknob placard or sign taped to your door that reads: Work in progress. Please do not disturb. during your work hours to reinforce those boundaries. Tell your fiance that it is his family and he really needs to be on your side in this matter.
NTA. His family is ridiculous. Who in their right mind brings their laundry over to another’s house to have them fold it. Especially when they’re working. Sorry your fiancée needs to be more harsh with them since they seem to be taking advantage of you. How embarrassing of them to behave this way.
Heh, they think you were disrespectful? Have they looked in a mirror lately, because them not respecting that you are working is far more disrespectful and they’ve been doing it pretty much constantly! Then showing up with laundry and asking you to fold it pretty much takes the cake. I’d definitely stop letting them in the house at all while you’re working, stop letting them in if they show up and if they’re somehow letting themselves in then either lock the place and ask for keys back if they have any.
Your fiance thinks that you should have been more gentle? No, he should have shut this down long ago instead of letting it go on. You did the right thing by trying to establish this boundary yet he isn’t even on your side. That’s a massive red flag. Just wait until it comes to disagreements between you and MIL surrounding kids (if you want any), if he pulls the same thing there and sides with his mother again then you’re not going to enjoy that marriage.
Seriously, all of them trying to blame you for one thing or the other instead of taking some responsibility for their own actions, ugh.
NTA, but you have just as much of a fiancé problem as you have an in-laws problem. They’re all assholes so far.
Don’t answer the door. If they have keys, take the keys away from them.
“Time during work hours is billable at $75 per fifteen minutes or part thereof. I’ll just print you out a contract.”
This person you call fiancé doesn’t have your back. They’ll always side with family and you’ll always be the maid. Get your stuff together and move out!! This isn’t going to change.
More GENTLY!?
Is he actually serious? They expect you to drop and serve them food and tea while you’re making a living and one of them had the audacity to BRING YOU LAUNDRY and tell you to fold it because you’re NOT DOING ANYTHING.
The fact that you did not actually explode and “drunk toss” each of them right out the door is a testament to your patience. I cannot believe you didn’t barricade the doors after this happening ONCE.
Your fiance is so full of shit you should plant flowers on him. He needs to do a 180 and stand beside you or you need to toss him out the door too.
NTA
I don’t see how running their errands or doing their laundry is “including them in your life”. NTA.
They mean well got bullying you into other house work??
If that man of yours doesn’t tell them off then you need to new man
10/10 I would be organising random hangs at their house when their out or at inconvenient times, eat all their food and drink, then drop a basket of laundry for them to do. You know, seeing as they have fuck all to do other than invade my home.
This should have stopped long ago and it should have been stopped by your “fiancé”. He and his entire family seem to have no respect for you. Take that into consideration before getting married.
NTA
Your biggest problem is your SO. Send his family to his office…
You need to create an internal work environment. Lock doors and only answer work related calls.
ChatGPT really isn’t charging enough for its services to this subreddit.
My dad and my wife’s parents both live pretty close to us. I remember when we first got our house we had them dropping by CONSTANTLY, unannounced. It was SO annoying. We each had a talk with our respective parents about it. My dad took it well, her mom was salty for a while, but is over it now. They’re welcome to come over, but a call or text is appreciated. Ideally not when they’re about to pull up. It’s time your fiance has that conversation and if he won’t do it then just know you will be giving up your privacy pretty much forever. NTA.
Damn, that AI speak is just so bad. Can’t these posts at least try to sound a bit human?
Run! Your fiancé won’t be at your side and have your back. In laws sound like toxic idiots. Nta.
Get a ring camera, and lock your doors when youre working. Ignore their knocks. It may be hard at first, but don’t cave, that will just bolster their idea that your time is theirs.
I can’t imagine getting in the car and driving to a relative to get her to fold my clothes. That wasn’t a need, that was a carefully thought out power play. You need to point out the absurdity of what they’re asking. When you say it out loud, you can hear the stupidity.
Honestly, just don’t answer the doorbell. If for some unknown reason, they have a key to your apartment, get the locks changed.
Coming over with their laundry and asking you to fold it is not “keeping you in their lives”. Asking you to pickup dry cleaning is not “keeping you in their lives”. I’d have a long talk with your fiancé regarding expectations and you both need to be on the same page with boundaries.
I have very strict rules about visitors during my working week. I work from home, that means I am at WORK, during the day and not available to hang out. You need to be stricter that way with everyone. Whilst there is some flexibility, you are still at work and they need to know.
You are NTA but I am disgusted with your partner for finding this behaviour from their family acceptable- even if you were a stay at home wife or parent, I wouldn’t accept this behaviour from them. I would question his love and loyalty to you.
NTA. Just because you’re working from home doesn’t mean you have infinite free time. That’s a very disrespectful viewpoint & very annoying. I’ve worked from home for years & while physical exertion is rare, the mental toll is real. If they don’t have respect for what you do, they also don’t respect you.
If your fiance feels so strongly about it, he can stay home & cater to his family’s needs.
NTA – If you can afford to move out on your own (without your fiancé), do it. He can serve as their go to “house staff” since it’s HIS family. No one in his family (including him) has any respect for you. It won’t get any better if you marry him.
NTA. Do they have key access? I would change your locks or codes. They have lost their privileges and need to learn how to be guests who come when invited.
Its easy lock the doors and do not answer during working hours, put a sign on the door explaining. that’s it.
This is insanely weird. Why did the sister come with clean laundry to fold? On what planet is there just a laundry folding service? Like, that’s part of “wash/dry/fold.” There is no “only fold.”
Your fiancé is full of BS. They don’t mean well at all. They look down on you as “ staying at home all day doing nothing “.
So they obviously don’t respect your work or your time.
You need to be very direct and very adamant with your boundary or it’s not going to get through to people like this. Of course they then turned around on you so they could be the victims of something. Time to stop answering the door.
Will your fiancé have your back in holding this boundary? No matter how much is mother and sister cry the crocodile tears? What will you do when he does not?
NTA, but here’s what you should do:
Find a shared office space and start going there ASAP, making sure that you leave early and come back late so there is no one at home when they show up.
How long would you have to do it?
Long enough for them to understand that it is not predictable whether you will be there or not. And if they still show up, just walk out and say that you have an appointment.
NTA. they could have folded the laundry in the time it took to get to your place!
NTA. “get out of here and fold your own f*ing clothes”
NTA, but you should never have allowed them to park themselves in your house to hang out. Not even once.
It amazes me that now that working from home is so common, for years now, that there are so many people who still don’t understand that a work from home job means, for your set hours, you are working. As in unavailable for chitchat, chores, or anything but WORK.
The fact your husband isn’t backing you up is a problem, not just because he wanted you to be “nicer”, but because he seems to only see a problem with his family’s asks (make us tea, snacks, run our errands, fold my laundry) if they make them while you’re working. You aren’t his family’s maid at all, including in your free time.
If your husband thinks you should serve his family, and the only issue is what time of day you are expected to wait on them, you have a husband problem. Big one.
“thou shalt not covet the time and labor of thy son or brother’s live-in girlfriend”
it was more work to carry that laundry to your house than it would have been to have folded it where they stood. Your fiance is an asshole, that is NOT “meaning well”; that’s completely weird and phenomenally, deliberately disrespectful.
They’re trying to establish dominance, not trying to “be involved in your lives”—they’re trying to make YOU involved, in a subservient way, in THEIR lives.
NTA, and frankly, you need to stop answering the door or their phone calls; you’re at work.
And even if you weren’t, as you point out, you’re not their errand runner or their maid. It’s absolutely them marking territory—that territory being your time and energy and servant status
I work from home several days a week. Family has a key for emergencies. But I chain the door working hours.
But I wouldn’t marry someone whose family expected me to fold their laundry.
NTA
Girl, come on. Why are you opening the door during your working hours anyway?
NTA, but you’re kinda bringing this on yourself by not reigning this is right now. If Sil had time to walk she had time to fold. This is a message to you and the visits are not about closeness. So why feel guilty at all? Blast them over a family group chat and be done with this.
Also, fiance is a limp noodle and you should ask him how many loads of laundry has his mom sent him to fold at work.
How the heck are they getting in the house? Change the locks, and do not answer the door. If your fiance cannot stop this behavior from his family, you may want to rethink this relationship.
NTA – since when does having you do their laundry equate to being involved in each other’s lives? Does folding their underwear make you suddenly closer?
What a weak argument from your fiancé. Even he knows this is BS, or he would’ve been able to come up with something better.
NTA. They brought laundry to your house! For you to fold! The time and effort that that took was more than what it would’ve taken to just fold it themselves. They are absolutely using you for their own twisted pleasure. Tell your man that it’s time for him to defend you instead of making excuses for the people actively disrespecting you in your home. And how are they getting in? Change the locks, give no one a key, and keep the doors locked at all times.
If he wanted you to be more gentle then he should have been the one to talk to them about it. Nta.
NTA draw your boundaries now otherwise it will NOT stop. If your fiancé things is fun then he can deal with he’s family. Can you lock your door or tell them a white lie that you took a job that works 9-5 & cannot have people over when you’re not there to receive guests. They dont pay your rent, salary or bills. NTA
Your partner should have put a stop to this a long time ago. And he’s a complete another asshole for not doing so. The first time they came over while you were working is when he should have gone to them and told them that this is not appropriate and that you are working. However that being said I’m sure your front door locked and you keep letting them in so that’s kind of on you. Get a camera for the front door, if you’re working just put out a do not disturb sign or don’t answer the door. It really is that simple. You can’t control other people but you can control whether they have access to you and your home at any given time. Camera for the front door, silent ringtones for them on your phone and texting app, and then you just ignore them. It’s exactly as if you weren’t home, you got work hours and you set them and then you don’t answer the door when people knock on it. Just because somebody knocks on your door doesn’t mean you have to answer it just like you don’t have to answer your phone.
Do they have a key or something? Are your doors not locked? First if his family has a key you need to a get them back or b change the locks. How are your finances? Like do you share the bills or does someone pay the majority of the bills?
You are most definitely not the a. You’re fiancé is. If his family has the misconception that you are available all day because you work from home. That may be how he feels also. You have 2 options he can be the breadwinner and you turn into a homemaker. Or he can explain to his family that you have to work between hours a to b and they can’t come over during those time periods.
If you let this continue it will end up affecting your marriage if mom continues to exert this kind of influence and he’s ok with it.
I’d have just let the laundry sit until they feel like picking it up. Nothing else needs to be said lol
NTA, but if you can’t see that your fiance is a butt hole then you deserve whatever misery comes your way. To be transparent, there is NO way to put things gently for his overreaching, entitled narcissist family. It wasn’t like they did YOUR laundry and were bringing it to you, they wanted you to fold THEIR laundry. That is straight up ballsy. In fact, I think they have way too much time on their hands if they can freaking drive their laundry over to be folded and hangout in your living room. They need to get jobs or second jobs or start staying in their lane. If your fiance/shitty roommate can’t back you up and tell them that and tell them to check their attitude or you both won’t be seeing them, I would give back the ring and find a real partner.
NTA. Your fiancé needs to understand that the disrespect here came from them and from him. You are not a cruise director meant to entertain them or feed them or do their chores. Your presence in your own house doesn’t come with strings they get to pull for the privilege of living with him. You are his partner, not their tool to use. You have your own life that you have a right to maintain. Their disregard for that is now starting to impact your ability to make a living and that is disrespectful and unacceptable. If you were harsh that is because harshness was called for. He can either stand by your side and help you establish boundaries or this relationship is not going to work put and you might as well stop wasting both your time with it.
Mom said it was “disrespectful”
My reply would be. “You’re correct, you did disrespect me, but I accept your apology.”
Sounds more like a fiance problem. He should he handling his family. I applaud op. She should be pushing away these people. That the fiance is siding with his family is a red flag. Proceed with caution.
I feel like they’re checking up on you, checking to see if you have someone else over. You’re nta, change your locks, don’t answer your door. Or at the very least, put a sign on the door stating your on a call and do not disturb.
NTA but your fiance and his family sucks. It will only get worse after you’re married. Get rid of the guy, he will never be on your side.
Even if you were sitting on your ass all day, you’re still not obligated to do their laundry or anything else for them.
And I would’ve stopped them at the first unannounced visit, full stop. Get some therapy and work on your boundaries girl
I think you were right just cause you work at home doesn’t mean you’re not working and I would lock the door. Just wouldn’t answer it …text sorry I’m working. I can’t stop right now. I know this sounds funny, but I wouldn’t answer the door.
They’re just trying to be “involved” in your lives by making you do chores for them??? wtf. NTA but what the heck is wrong with your fiancée????!!!
Leave the laundry there for your husband to fold.
NTA, but you have a serious fiance problem
The only person being disrespected here is you. And it’s not just his family, it is also your fiancé. I can’t even believe people behave this way. It’s a shame you live together and you may want to think about changing that.
At the very least I would tell them they might as well take their laundry with them because it will be sitting outside and it won’t be folded.
NTA – bringing laundry to be folded is not getting involved in your life, it’s using you, and tbh is totally ridiculous, they have a 20 minute round trip to your home and I can’t imagine a load of laundry that would take that long to fold.
Get a doorbell camera and stop letting them in during your work hours.
NTA
Asking someone to fold laundry is not being more involved. Your fiance is out of his lil mind. What his family are doing is not okay.
“You wouldn’t show up at (fiancée’s) office and ask him to fold laundry? Well, THIS is MY office.”
They don’t have to understand it, nor even like it, but you have a job and it doesn’t matter where you work from.
You gave them FAAARRR more leeway than I would have. Granted, I would have started by asking my fiancée to talk to them to set the boundaries. But I completely understand you losing your patience as the one being constantly bothered.
You aren’t rude at all. People just dont react well when you don’t allow them to treat you the way THEY want to treat you.
Good for you!!
This is AI. All the giveaways:
Almost too perfectly obvious, come on.
You have a fiancé problem and it won’t get any better. He clearly has zero respect for you and will never ever have your back.
Just trying to be ‘involved’ by dropping off laundry? What planet do they and your man live on?
‘More gently’?! NTA. You may inform him that you could have told her to fuck off, and that next time you’ll do exactly that. If I were you, I’d have walked outside and thrown her laundry out on the street.
But I consider it a HUGE red flag when your partner condones their expectations that you’ll be waiting on them hand and foot! His mother sends your sister to drop off their laundry for you to fold like a good housewife?!
I’d put your foot down and tell him—and them!—that these condescending fucks are no longer welcome in your home. Either that, or you’re out.
NTA but your fiance needs to step up and be on your side
‘Involved in your lives’? ‘I don’t want any involvement with their washing, cheers’
If they mean well his mom wouldn’t just assume you’d be chill folding her laundry. That’s hella disrespectful and rude. OP think long and hard about the fact that your soon to be husband told YOU that YOU could have said things gently and saw nothing wrong with what they did. My husband would be absolutely in his dad’s ass if he pulled that shit. Spouses are supposed to protect and be on your side. OP keep track of things like this before you marry that family
NTA, just my personal thing i do NOT accept unannounced visits no matter who it is if its not am emergency i will not open the door, if you cant respect my time or personal space enough to at least say “hey can i come over for a bit?” Then i will not respect you enough to open the door lol
Absolutely NTA. That’s some psycho behavior…
Your fiancés wrong, they don’t mean well, they want a servant. You are there to entertain them and do what they want. Could you have phrased it more gently? Absolutely. Could they be more oblivious? No, not really. NTA
They’re calling you disrespectful after demanding you do their laundry? Even if you weren’t working you should’ve told Them to fuck off
If they have a key change the locks, if not don’t answer the door. Don’t marry him until this is resolved.
Are you sure you want to marry into a life of servitude for this family?
Your partner doesn’t have your back and he’s not going to change his opinion after you’re married. NTA.
you sure you wanna marry into this family?
“ Be more patient with them “? WTF
Your not play working your WORKING FROM HOME and how your BF and his family don’t get that is beyond comprehension. Honestly who brings their laundry over to get it folded, between taking out of the dryer, driving over they could have folded their own laundry few times over. How can your BF not see that’s a huge problem when his family is literally saying “ since your home “?
NTA stop opening the door between office hours if they just show up. Your not being rude since you’re working and it doesn’t matter that your working from home. It’s still working