a guy asked me out and i said something to that effect and he seemed put off. I said sorry if it’s a little forward before saying it though. is it rly weird? is it yikes?
it’s js rly important to me and I don’t see the point in going on a date with a guy if we have different intentions in mind cause it js seems pointless. I’m 18 if that makes any difference.
my friends irl told me it’s weird and I shouldn’t say that, and my mom said i’m “such a square,”so i’m unsure lol.
Comments
Dating for the sole purpose of marriage is definitely a phenomenon in certain cultures. As far as I know, it is not the norm here in the United States.
I do like your thinking, however, because it means you are serious about seeking the right person for yourself.
Having said that, raising that particular issue on a first date does seem a little premature. It takes a few meetings at a minimum to see what the other person is like.
And it is only when you can get a sense of who the other person is that you are in a position to ask that sort of question, or even think about it.
It’s unusual, but not weird. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having a clear goal and only making moves towards that goal. It’s also very nice of you to be upfront about it, it’s honest and it saves everyone’s time.
I’d sooner ask him what kind of a relationship he is looking for and I wouldn’t go for it before the first date. I’d do it once it seems things are about to escalate. He likely doesn’t know you yet, so saying he wants to have a serious relationship with you before getting to know you would mean he doesn’t know what he’s signing up for.
I think it is great you are not afraid to communicate clearly and don’t get yourself tangled up in something that would just cause you pain.
No it’s not weird. You’re not looking for casual, so why waste everyone’s time if that’s what he wants? Adults forget how important communication is, and it’s a sign of maturity.
I think typically on the first date there is a sort of “what are you looking for” conversation, and then you can bring up your expectations. There isn’t necessarily something wrong with saying it beforehand, but it may come off as kind of intense if that’s the first thing you say.
But also he may have just been put off because he is not looking for long term, so you saved yourself some time.
How do you know it’s potential for long term if you don’t even go on a date?
To me, it depends on how you phrase it. I ill say it’s a good idea though. When I was single and getting to that point I wanted to do It also, but just didn’t know how.
Yes.
no, honesty is never weird.
How is it weird