Why are Americans so stuck in their high school days?

r/

Been living in the US for a few years now and I’m amazed at how many people I’ve meet that are still stuck in their high school days (I was valedictorian in high school, I played in the foot ball team in high school, I did this or I did that in high school).

I’m interviewing candidates for a couple of positions in my team and wow the amount of 30+ year olds that still talk in the interview or mention in their resumes their high school “accomplishments”. What?!

I’ve never seen this in any of the other countries I’ve lived in, that’s why I don’t understand.

Comments

  1. RealDanielJesse Avatar

    So many Americans peak in high school. I believe it’s influenced by the Hollywood culture.

  2. RolandTower919 Avatar

    Why are __ so obsessed with using blanket statements?

  3. Farscape55 Avatar

    Peaked in highschool is a real thing for a lot of people

  4. Mammoth-Accident-809 Avatar

    What would you rather them say, if they didn’t go to college?

  5. fuckinoldbastard Avatar

    The War on Education (R) have led some to believe that high school is considered “higher education”.

  6. jluvdc26 Avatar

    For a lot of Americans it’s a highlight period of their lives where they had time and access to the most varied number of activities and clubs where they could excel. Even those who go on to college tend to have to work harder and have less times to explore things like theater and art. And high school is a smaller stage where more average students can accomplish bigger roles like treasurer in a club or first chair in orchestra. After high school the competition and job struggles can eat you alive. If you get stuck working 40+ hours a week in a dead end job and take care of your kids the rest of the time what can you really highlight about yourself?

  7. johndotold Avatar

    For a lot of people I have met high school was their peak.

    The glory days are over so everything is downhill.

  8. JoeGPM Avatar

    I don’t know anyone that talks about high school regularly.

  9. OrdinarySubstance491 Avatar

    It’s just the people you’ve met.

  10. Brief-Reserve774 Avatar

    I barely even remember high school lmao

  11. SenSw0rd Avatar

    People relives their glory years when they use to have all the attention they wanted. 
    Aka… LATE ANAL RETENTIVES.

  12. CheeseburgerSmoothy Avatar

    Because back then I bet I could’ve thrown a football over a mountain.

  13. Tiktokerw500k Avatar

    They peaked in high school that’s why they talk about it so much, cause those are their glory days!

  14. Mazikeen369 Avatar

    I don’t know anybody who talks about high school still.

  15. Inside-Beyond-4672 Avatar

    That gets replaced with college accomplishments which often gets replaced by grad school.

  16. nwbrown Avatar

    Sounds like an indictment of the people you are interacting with, not Americans as a whole.

  17. ColdHardPocketChange Avatar

    I don’t think I have had anyone reference high school unless it was in the context of sports they use to play.

  18. Wooden-Glove-2384 Avatar
  19. RoxoRoxo Avatar

    is your team a mcdonalds line cook lol

    yeah those people are immature and probably havent done much since high school, which is pretty damn sad lol

  20. Mia-blissGG Avatar

    Bro they peaked in high school and been riding that wave ever since. It’s giving “uncle at the BBQ reliving the glory days” vibes.

  21. reduuiyor Avatar

    I’ve always wondered this myself even at mid 20. some folks are straight cringe. they seem stuck in their high school mindset because there aren’t many real rites of passage into adulthood here.

    Without new responsibilities or challenges especially for those who don’t go to college or leave their hometown, they’ll often stay in the same social loops, clinging to old identities and roles.

    From freshman to senior, High school becomes a comfort zone, it’s the last place MANY felt seen or validated, so they keep replaying those dynamics.

    On top of that, our culture idolizes youth. Movies, music, and social media all paint teenage years as the “peak,” so people naturally hold onto that. think of the “popular” kids and athletes

    And when someone hasn’t seen maturity modeled well, like people owning responsibility or leading with integrity, they don’t have a clear vision of what adulthood even looks like. So they just stay where it’s familiar.

  22. Ok-Language5916 Avatar

    I mean, if you were valedictorian of your high school, you might bring it up once in a while. That’s a pretty significant accomplishment. 

    PS I was NOT valedictorian

  23. reduuiyor Avatar

    also even when someone goes to college, no one really tells them they can’t just be an adult high schooler. And sometimes it works, maybe they couldn’t pull in high school, but now they do. That kind of unchecked dynamic settles in and becomes part of who they are.

    It sticks because it finally pays off, and nothing forces real change. Without something or someone to check it, they just stay stuck in that loop, same ego, same games, just older.

  24. Lopsided-Bench-1347 Avatar

    For some, like Al Bundy, it was their peak in life and everything went downhill after that.

  25. Johnnadawearsglasses Avatar

    Are you speaking mainly to non college grads? Everyone I know went to college and some to grad school. I’ve never heard them discuss HS unless asked.

  26. Snurgisdr Avatar

    Try adding “didn’t peak in high school” to the qualifications for the job.

  27. erics75218 Avatar

    Where in America? This feels more like a southern thing to me

  28. HaltheDestroyer Avatar

    They have nothing else to offer as accomplishment because this is how the U.S. education system is structured….You learn just enough to go out in the world and survive, not thrive

    Compared to say Germany’s education system, where college and higher learning and apprenticeship are structured in as post high school studies, In America you get your high school diploma and are pretty much tossed out to sea

    If you come from a wealthy family or are willing to take on a lifetime of debt of course higher education can be acheived but at great cost

  29. purplishfluffyclouds Avatar

    Well, I just learned how to spell “valedictorian” so that explains why I wasn’t, LOL

    BUT – I agree with you. I couldn’t wait to get out of HS and can’t relate to a lot of people I graduated with because they’re still stuck there in a sort of time warp.

  30. reduuiyor Avatar

    ALSO When you’ve been told for 17- 19 years straight that you’re not an adult—and then suddenly you are—but no one shows you how to be one, how to move different, think different, carry yourself different… it makes sense why a lot of people just stay stuck in that high school mindset.

    Even legally grown folks still get treated like kids, so they keep acting like it. Some never grow out of it, especially if they’ve always been spoiled or had things handed to them. I had a boss like that—terrible at his job, but came from money and always landed high-paying gigs. Mid-40s, still moved like a high school quarterback douche. It’s like when no one ever makes you need to grow up, you just don’t.

  31. Vadoff Avatar

    What kind of positions are you reviewing for?

    Never seen this before in my line of work. It’s usually just work experience and maybe some college experience if they’re a freshly graduated junior.

  32. Wild-Spare4672 Avatar

    Those are only people who peaked in high school.

  33. Carnivorous_Ape__ Avatar

    I could squat 500 pounds in highschool!

  34. tachevy Avatar

    Because for many Americans that is the last time in their lives when everything still made sense.

  35. Ginandexhaustion Avatar

    I think it’s because once we get out of high school the stuff that makes us popular in high school, doesn’t matter anymore. Popular because of sports or music? Doesn’t matter once you graduate, unless you are good enough to go pro, or get a scholarship.

  36. Bonappetit24 Avatar

    Since we’re living longer now, they’re allowed to prolong their kids days

    Joke aside but nowadays you have 25-30 year old man-children and it’s disturbing.

    You’ve seen plenty of 25-30 year olds still acting like edgy teenagers.

  37. blutigetranen Avatar

    These people must have no other accomplishments. I usually note that I graduated but that’s it.

  38. idigholesnow Avatar

    I try not to even think about high school, let alone give it life through speech. Certainly formative years to which some people still strongly relate, while others spend years trying to get over.

  39. Horror_Pay7895 Avatar

    It’s like Biff from Death of a Salesman.

  40. Kaitlin33101 Avatar

    The only time I mention high school is when I go to the doctor for hip and knee pain due to marching band. My band director didn’t allow us to bend our knees in band and it caused permanent damage, so I like to let doctors know the cause of my screwed up joints so they know it’s not an autoimmune disease

  41. Hotaru_girl Avatar

    There’s probably at least a few things at play. I imagine if someone doesn’t have a lot of career accomplishments that some of the most recent awards and honors would be when they were high school.

    Another factor could be that they aren’t able to objectively identify their marketable strengths and focused on only “documented” accomplishments (many of which are in high school).

    Resumes are often viewed like a list of accomplishments. This may lead candidates to regurgitate every and any accomplishment they feel may improve their chances, even if no longer relevant. Something like valedictorian is a great accomplishment in school, so they may think adding it can only help.

  42. Local_Loss2535 Avatar

    I feel like also there isn’t much quality of life after high school. After high school, it feels like life is only stress and work, and especially with how workers are treated in the US, it’s very easy to view your lazy high school days as “the good old days”

  43. goat_penis_souffle Avatar

    Lots of mentions of football here for good reason. If you’re from a small town in the south or Texas, you are a local celebrity if you’re on the varsity team and win games and titles. That’s a pretty heady thing for a teen and most people who experience that never get that kind of attention again.

  44. Fickle-Vegetable961 Avatar

    Listen to the song “Glory Days” by Bruce Springsteen. To me it’s just sad if you peaked at 16 or 18. College was better than high school. Post college was better than college. These people were popular teenagers who then spent the rest of their lives working low wage jobs or they wouldn’t still be stuck on high school.

  45. 44035 Avatar

    High school gives you a chance to develop leadership skills. But you’re saying you don’t want to hear about those experiences. You sound like a really negative person and a shitty interviewer, to be completely honest.

  46. Dry_Nectarine5457 Avatar

    I never gave a fuck about high school

  47. Revolutionary-Hat-96 Avatar

    Mental pictures of Al Bundy (“Married with Children” TV show). The highlight of his life was playing high school football. 😵‍💫

  48. Weezywexxl Avatar

    Unfortunately, Social media put a lot of us back in that social construct. Before, you had to find your own way and had a chance to reinvent yourself and introduce it to the world. Now people form the same clicks and follow the same trends as they would in high school. No time or chance to reinvent when you around the same people.

  49. Affectionate_Lab_131 Avatar

    They do not have any university experience and lack luster work experience. Mentally a lot of people started drinking in High school so are mentally stunted as a result.

  50. mrkrabbykrabz Avatar

    HS was hell for me. I prefer my college days.

    But for others, HS was a great experience for them. Probably with friends, parties, etc. It’s the time where you don’t worry about adult things like bills.

  51. iamwhoiwasnow Avatar

    This sounds like OP didn’t have a great HS experience

    Edit: to add to this they tell kids in high school to do as much as possible because it will look good on their resumes and later on in life. According to OP that was for naught if people should let go of their HS experience

  52. Self-Comprehensive Avatar

    I hated high school. The only thing I do now that I did in high school is play in a hobby band with a few old friends.

  53. Much-Beyond2 Avatar

    No-one really answering OPs question in the context that it was asked, which is why this is such a uniquely American thing. I think the simple answer is that US high school *is* a bigger deal. Concepts like Valedictorian don’t really exist in other countries, school sports are more recreational and low-key in other countries, and not part of the professional sports pathway (there is more of a club/academy system elsewhere). I don’t think it’s helpful to imply that Americans are somehow stuck in some state of arrested development or that people have less fulfilling adult lives that elsewhere. It’s just that there is more social capital wrapped up in these roles.

  54. B_teambjj Avatar

    The real all stars of high school come back years later as teachers taking up some type of coaching job. FB profile pic is usually them on the sidelines with a head set. And the other half turn out to be town drunks still passing Ol Peggy sue around like they did after winning the 85’ state title

  55. StilgarFifrawi Avatar

    American culture is uniquely wrapped up in high school social standing. We connect sports and popularity contests to the affair so the intersection of immaturity, topical/sexual awakening, tribalism, and a need for standing have resulted in a nation that spends $100 million on high school football stadiums while other schools have to share books and graduate illiterate kids

  56. timwtingle Avatar

    I specifically do not mention HS. It sucked and I moved on.

  57. NovembersSpawn Avatar

    I’m not American, but I think “high school experiences” are very much mytholigised by the American media. Films starring adult actors about prom, football games, first love… the country’s just a bit obsessed with the second decade of their lives.

  58. TwinFrogs Avatar

    My class had a 20 year reunion and by mutual agreement, we never planned another one. 

  59. Texas_Totes_My_Goats Avatar

    We all peak at different levels, maybe it’s an American thing, maybe it’s a human thing, but many of us who don’t have happy lives can’t let go of any good years we had.

    Me personally, I hated high school and college, but I have good memories in my late 20s and I tend to be nostalgic about those years. I would give anything to go back to that time if I could. I mean anything. Do you hear me Satan? 

  60. No1Czarnian Avatar

    The world was new and the experiences have more of a lasting impression from that time in life. As life goes on you get more used to the ebbs and flows of life and the experiences aren’t new or less surprising or just generally have less of an effect on one’s persona for whatever reason. But I think that’s why people find the things from the high school age to be more agreeable.

  61. Zealousideal_Car_893 Avatar

    Nostalgia is a drug in the US. Once you leave high school it’s time to grow up and you realize that everything is stacked against you in the US. So many things are out of reach of the average Joe. Healthcare, housing, saving money, having a family…. people want to go back to a simpler time.

  62. KarmaSilencesYou Avatar

    No bills, No adulting…only freedom, parties and girls!

  63. Revolutionary-Hat-96 Avatar

    I’ve noticed the same thing when people’s only friends are the ones they had from high school. It suggests they haven’t had many adult life experiences, travelled or evolved much.

  64. 12altoids34 Avatar

    Listen to Glory Days by Bruce springsteen.

    It’s really not going to explain it but it will take up a few minutes of your time.

  65. dodadoler Avatar

    I had a friend was a big baseball player
    Back in high school
    He could throw that speedball by you
    Make you look like a fool boy
    Saw him the other night at this roadside bar
    I was walking in, he was walking out
    We went back inside sat down had a few drinks
    But all he kept talking about was

    Glory days, well they’ll pass you by
    Glory days, in the wink of a young girl’s eye
    Glory days, glory days

    Well there’s a girl that lives up the block
    Back in school she could turn all the boy’s heads
    Sometimes on a Friday I’ll stop by
    And have a few drinks after she put her kids to bed
    Her and her husband Bobby well they split up
    I guess it’s two years gone by now
    We just sit around talking about the old times
    She says when she feels like crying
    She starts laughing thinking bout

    Glory days, well they’ll pass you by
    Glory days, in the wink of a young girl’s eye
    Glory days, glory days

    My old man worked 20 years on the line
    And they let him go
    Now everywhere he goes out looking for work
    They just tell him that he’s too old
    I was 9 nine years old and he was working at the
    Metuchen Ford plant assembly line
    Now he just sits on a stool down at the Legion hall
    But I can tell what’s on his mind

    Glory days yeah goin back
    Glory days aw he ain’t never had
    Glory days, glory days

    In fact I think I’m going down to the well tonight
    And I’m gonna drink till I get my fill
    And I hope when I get old I don’t sit around thinking about it
    But I probably will
    Yeah, just sitting back trying to recapture
    A little of the glory yeah
    Well time slips away and leaves you with nothing, mister, but
    Boring stories of

    Glory days, well they’ll pass you by
    Glory days, in the wink of a young girl’s eye
    Glory days, glory days

  66. wehadthebabyitsaboy Avatar

    I think it’s the people who really “peaked” or had the all American movie type version of high-school. They were popular, well liked by teachers, came from money, played sports, got everything they wanted basically. I think actually saying they “peaked,” isn’t right. It was just a good time for them.

    It was not a good time for me. My version of “high school,” nostalgia is my mid to late 20s when I finally got comfortable with myself.

  67. Early_Economy2068 Avatar

    Maybe their current lives are just not fulfilling. Could be bad of me but when older ppl reminisce about HS or even college I think they sound like a loser. Some 60+yo guy at the bar the other week was talking about his HS achievement and it just came off as sad.

  68. Goondal Avatar

    I could not care less about high school and had not thought about it in a long time until reading this post

  69. sjedinjenoStanje Avatar

    I know in Germany your CV is supposed to go back and include grades from middle school…that always struck me as very strange.

    What you’re describing though is anecdotal. I personally couldn’t get away from my time in high school fast enough and never talk about it. I have to say in my experience it’s pretty rare for the Americans I encounter to talk about high school, too.

  70. WiserWildWoman Avatar

    I’m sure AF not and I’m an America

  71. ripjesus Avatar

    Because back in the days when I was young I’m not a kid anymore but some days I sit and wish I was a kid again.

  72. Bitter-Basket Avatar

    I’m from a small town. A number of people still live for those days.

  73. Sad_Construction_668 Avatar

    For a lot of young adults, high school was the last time hard work resulted in recognition and advancement. They’re stuck in low level corporate hell, and are trying to tell you they will put effort in if you, or anyone, will just give them a little support and recognition of said effort.

  74. Pure_water_87 Avatar

    I know this has been said over and over and no one ever absorbs it, but you can’t really generalize 340 million people by the handful you’ve met. There are certainly people who do this, but it’s not a character trait I’d slap on the entire population.

    I barely remember high school and what I do remember I would prefer not to ruminate on.

    The people that you meet that are stuck in their HS days are people that peaked in high school.

  75. PumpkinBrain Avatar

    Watch some anime, Japan is pretty obsessed with their high school days too.

    There are a lot of reasons, but specific to your complaint, It’s the last time most people ever got awards for something. A lot of us work jobs where there’s no way to distinguish yourself. I’ve only worked at one place that even did “employee of the month”. It’s hard to put “my supervisor said I did good work” on a resume.

    Resume builders are always saying “list your accomplishments, like the time you restructured your department and saved 40% on logistics costs,” while most of us get stuck in jobs where we straight up aren’t allowed to make decisions.

  76. willgreenier Avatar

    Because it’s before they figured out the American dream is really just a scam

  77. Annual-Ad-4372 Avatar

    Because as Americans high school was a time where every one of us was free to do basicly whatever we wanted to. We all spent the vast majority of our highschool days in some way or another having fun and figuring out who we are. After high School everything is work work work work work work. The majority of daily life After high School is very mundane and banal.

  78. Top-Purchase-2794 Avatar

    High school was the last time where you felt invincible. Everything in your life seemed extra important because you’re emotions and hormones ran high. A lot of firsts for many, like first love, first kiss, first car, etc. You made lasting decisions sometimes in high school, like what college to go to or what career to have. American media glorifies high school a lot. It’s deep in our subconscious. The time after high school is just filled with worry and a lot of fast growing up.

  79. TheSupremePixieStick Avatar

    I think for a lot of people it is the only time they got recognition and praise from others.

  80. queerdildo Avatar

    Lack of personality.

  81. rainearthtaylor7 Avatar

    That isn’t all of us. Do you want me to stereotype the people where you’re from?

  82. Efficient-Two4494 Avatar

    Accomplishments are still accomplishments regardless of high school, college or adult career. If you’d met a child actor who was in their 30s, you wouldn’t downplay their accomplishment. Don’t downplay people’s achievements. This shows that they are capable to achieve something more. How about instead of making them feel bad, use what they did and help, guide or motivate them towards their next one.

  83. welltriedsoul Avatar

    Straw dog syndrome basically so many people experienced the best days of their lives whether it is athletes being venerated, or a wall flower just hanging with friends. When they leave school they are casted aside like straw dogs after the ceremony is over. They then are left looking back to their glory days while life kicks them on the face.

  84. mofototheflo Avatar

    Because now sucks

  85. sparklepantaloones Avatar

    Lack of third spaces in the US makes high school the last time you’ll interact with that many people on the daily (minus uni). For a lot of people they are stuck in high school because that’s the last time they were socially relevant because community was at an all time high.

  86. LanceFree Avatar

    For some people, that was their most significant accomplishment in life, highest education. I also see and hear similar things from people’s military experience, even if it was just 3-4 years.

  87. towerninja Avatar

    As an American who didn’t go to high school. I can tell you it’s because that was the last time they were happy