When I was an annoying little kid (like most were) I remember this moment where I was being an obnoxious little shit and my mom banned me from the computer. I was so addicted to computer games that I literally started begging. I begged my mom to let me use the computer so I could play my stupid games. “Please I’m begging you” I said. You know what she said? In response to me begging she said “That’s what I used to say to my father so he wouldn’t rape me”. Obviously I know she only said this because she was at her wits end. She was clearly so utterly frustrated with me and didn’t know what else to say. I don’t blame her for it. How could I? But it still sticks with me, I’m a grown man now and I can’t get those words out of my head, I think about that moment often. In case you’re curious she is seriously the kindest most amazing mother a son could ever have. Sorry, I just had to say that.
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I’m so sorry your mom went through that — and that you had to carry those words.
The love you have for her comes through so strongly. She raised someone kind. That matters. A lot.
My mom told me her dad tried to rape her once. Her older sister says she was raped by him, so I think my mother highly suspects she also was raped, just doesn’t remember it. She told me this a couple of years ago, and I’m a grown adult. It broke something in me. I can’t imagine hearing those words as a child.
My mom is also the best. It breaks my heart knowing she had to go through that as a young girl.