I was raised catholic (technically roman catholic but eh). Now at this point in life (M27), I’m skeptical about it and think I’m leaning towards being agnostic. I told this to my father and he had an absolute shitfit (for lack of a better term) about how it’s not ok for me to choose my religion. I also have this feeling that it plays into dating and love, but I’m not sure.
Comments
Of course it’s okay. Faking it isn’t going to do you any good. As for your father, it isn’t his life or his choice.
Your dad is the one who sucks here. Religion isn’t a race or ethnicity, it’s perfectly fine to question and change.
As an ex Muslim, yes. Do it. Doesn’t matter if you’ll still end up being a believer or convert. Questioning makes you understand yourself as a person and set your own values and morals
You don’t have to be a fundamentalist to be part of your tradition. It’s a religion, not a cult. Within your tradition, you will find many viewpoints, even famous agnostics.
It’s perfectly fine. I’m in a similar situation to you but just don’t really discuss it with anyone. This is the reason why religions push it on children so hard because they know how much it will disrupt your life and family relationships if you leave the religion. They really play the guilt angle hard. It’s basically a form of grooming. My personal opinion is that nobody should be allowed to participate in a religion until 18 years old. If at that point they make an educated decision to join a religion then that is their choice.
Your dad shouldn’t guilt you like that.
Yes. Religion is poison.
Yes, very okay, and important to figure out before dating someone, as some partners may be as irrational as your dad.
Thinks to know. (a) it’s not just a choice and then you are done. If you leave your faith you are starting a life long journey. (b) it you leave, you may have to distance yourself from people who you once thought were ‘fine upstanding people’. (c) not all religious people are like your dad. Don’t write anyone off just cause they say they are religious.
I’m an ex-Christian and former pagan. I realized I’m an atheist a year ago. Questioning things is healthy and intelligent. Don’t let others’ fear stop you from asking logical questions. Not asking is blind obedience and letting fear control you. Questioning means you’re smart and sane. I wish you the best on your journey.
You’re an adult. Its NOT OK for any other adult to tell you what religion to believe or not. Note that if you’re in a position where some other adult is supporting you, food, shelter, clothing, etc, and you think they may choose to stop doing so if they think you don’t follow their same beliefs, you may have to “fake it” until you can extricate yourself from being dependent on them. The same might apply for someone that was incarcerated in a facility run by theists or in a nation that is a theocracy that has strict laws about that.
Note that “agnostic” is not some middle ground between belief in god(s) and lack of belief.
Gnostic or agnostic are terms that answer a completely different question than the terms theist or atheist.
It is common for atheists to be agnostic.
The r/atheism FAQ has a section discussing the meanings of those terms:
https://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/wiki/faq/#wiki_what.27s_agnosticism.3F
And this article has an excellent explanation of the differences (its an archived page, and may load very slowly so have patience)
https://web.archive.org/web/20120701054514/http://freethinker.co.uk/2009/09/25/8419/
As a Catholic convert, I can tell you it’s absolutely fine. I was agnostic for a good 10 years and wouldn’t trade that time for anything. Honestly, I’m a big advocate for taking time out—gives you perspective on the faith, makes you own the faith, and makes you take it more seriously. The cradle Catholics I know who’ve spent their whole lives in the Church are as a rule not the most serious Catholics I know.
Being a person of faith is being in negotiation with that faith (at least as far as Abrahamic faiths go, I cannot speak to other traditions). What I see in a lot of religious folks who have never stepped outside of it is an unwillingness to sit in the tension that the Bible asks of us.
None of that is to say that you’ll necessarily come back to Catholicism (and that’s ok too!) but if you do decide to return, it will be much healthier than just sitting in a church you no longer believe in.
I read somewhere: “the best faith is the one that resists questioning, not the one that forbids it”. I don´t know if it was C.S. Lewis or a christian author like that.
To really believe in something is not blind faith, but conviction. You need t make the awkward questions in order to have conviction. And if your faith does not resist the questions, then it is ok to stop believing.
Blind faith is not exactly what catholicism preaches:. I don´t remember the part of the bible because i am quite agnostic. The part says “you will love god with all your heart and all your MIND”. If you love god without questioning his existance, are you really loving him with all your mind?
You are almost 30 and your dad is from another generation. You are free to believe whatever you feel is the best position regarding the creation of the universe.
If you look i to your religion (doesnt matter which one you are in) you will find its claims are either false, unproven, or both.
Yesn you should question.
You are free to believe whatever fairy tale you want, or none
Question everything.
I did, and eventually ended up right back at Catholicism, but your mileage may vary.
You can absolutely change your religion. I grew up catholic, fell away from that as a young teen and got into new age spirituality but I’m now leaning back into possible non denominational christian. Your religion is not set in stone
Yes everyone should question the religion they are raised with. The worst reason to believe something is just because you were told that it was true.
Whether you come out the other side losing your faith or strengthening it, you’ll at least have come to the conclusion while being honest with yourself and making up your own mind.
I was also raised catholic, and that’s totally fine. I actually consider myself agnostic these days. Your father has no idea what he’s talking about; you can absolutely choose your religion or lack thereof.
Attendance depends on you not questioning it. But I think we should question everything before committing to our beliefs. You were raised being told many things that turned out to be untrue so the only way to accept what you believe is to question and seek out your own truth
Question everything.
Of course. You really should. If it can’t withstand questioning, why would it be worth believing in?
It’s not only absolutely essential to form your own beliefs; if you are adopting somebody else’s, they’re literally not yours, you’re just aping others.
I say this as an agnostic-turned-Christian-turned-back-to-agnostic. You can’t adopt somebody else’s belief system any more than you can adopt their politics or their food preferences.
>it’s not ok for me to choose my religion
This is the complete antithesis of being catholic. Your dad is a moron and you’re certainly a better representation of Catholicism than he’ll ever be if that’s who he is.
It’s actually quite a healthy thing to do in life.
Many people go through life holding on to the belief systems they were raised in. Sometimes they may not be positive and they continue the cycle, forever unaware of other beliefs, choices and ways of living.
Do question things, be always curious and discover what life means for you.
Agnostic or agnostic atheist. People are often confused. Agnostics can be theists or atheists. It is two different things. I am an agnostic atheist. Agnostic means that I am not sure if a deity(ies) exist or not and atheist means that I don’t believe there is a deity(ies).
1 Peter 3:15: “But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear”
In order to give a good reason/answer, shouldn’t you first question, so your reason is true and valid?
Also, if you cannot choose your religion…does that mean that no one should be allowed to convert to Christianity? If so, then why does Jesus tell you to preach to the world?
It is perfectly ok. Religion is a unique experience for each person, and it needs to be what feels authentic for you. Your father can throw fits, but that won’t change your feelings. He’s likely reacting from either a fear of the consequences in the afterlife, or a point of control.
At the end of the day, none of us KNOW what is true. We just gotta do what’s best for us and find our own answers.
At 27, why do you care what your dad thinks? Much less a bunch of people on Reddit.
Grow up.
I was raised Southern Baptist until I was 18. You should always question religions. How else will you find any answers? If the religion doesn’t allow questions, then maybe it’s not worth supporting.
That’s just my take.
You absolutely should question everything your taught at some point or another….. Especially ways of life life being religious
I was raised in a suuuper Christian/Presbyterian family my entire life as a pastors kid. I lost my brother at 16 and that was the first shift in my faith, wondering why God would let that happen. Then at 18, I left the church because I’m gay and was told every day I belong in hell. But regardless of not being in church I still believed in God and considered myself Christian. Around 30 I had a kind of revelation while on shrooms and have had a hard time with my faith ever since. Looking at what the Bible says we should be, but seeing how it’s reflected in the Bible and in “Christs followers” seemed more like bs every day.
This is something I struggle deeply with because even questioning the religion is enough to “send me to hell” so in the back of my mind I’m always a little terrified, but the more I think about the religion I was raised with the more ridiculous it sounds. I still believe in some sort of higher power/intelligence/God but I don’t think it’s the Christian God I was raised with.
I haven’t voiced this to my family because I know how they’ll react. They’ll take every opportunity for an intervention, I’ll be the talk of the church prayer tree, maybe even be disowned for not only being gay but now this?? But every day it’s given me the opportunity to do soul searching and have some critical thinking about this life we’re all living.
Regardless of my Christian guilt that I was indoctrinated to feel, I’m glad that it’s opened my eyes to an entirely new world of possibilities and growth. I am also leaning more agnostic now at 32.
I understand why it would be so hard to go against what your dad is saying, and “turn your back” on the only thing you’ve known your whole life, but once you do it’s almost liberating to see the world without this one set of glasses on that dictates how you see everything. I think any true religion would want you to have questions and be skeptical rather than blindly following the pack.
Absolutely.
Thou shalt question is my 11th commandment. The only people afraid of asking questions are those afriad of the answers.
If your dad is worried you are asking questions, it shows a lack of faith from him, not you.
If it weren’t…well, how would you ever figure out if you were wrong?
You’re exactly the age I was when I left religion.
I was raised in a conservative evangelical church.
I miss the sense of community from going to church, but I just can’t square it with the injustice that is taught. If God would torture someone for all eternity for being gay, then he isn’t a just god. For that reason, I don’t think god would do that and thus that teaching is incorrect.
Once you spot one thing that is clearly wrong, it becomes very easy to spot other things. And suddenly you realize that we’re just kinda winging it with religion and it loses its authority for you
My relationship with god was much different than my dads. Growing up he didn’t question his religion or faith he just believed what others told him and he tried to raise me like that too. Around 13 I found my own faith and questioned and researched. I didn’t argue with him because it was pointless so I just did my own thing and believed my own beliefs.
As an adult I think it’s important for people of all ages to constantly question and evaluate their beliefs in a lot of things. We all change over time and if you believe in God your beliefs change with life experiences and staying stuck in a single belief isn’t healthy.
I think everyone should be able to question their faith. Either you find reason in that belief system or you realize it isn’t the one for you or you hold no such beliefs. All of which are perfectly ok and normal even though many are trained it’s wrong.
Going along with something just because someone told you to (even if you fully trust that person and they really believe in whatever faith or things in general) isn’t going to help you. The idea that you can’t question anything is the main thing that pushed me personally away from religion but having friends who are religious or spiritual helps me understand why people believe or practice for themselves. Each of us in the end has our own reasoning. It’s also normal for that to sometimes change over time.
It is absolutely ok. Check out recovering from religion or the line in YouTube.
Yes.
Well bud, yes. I would highly recommend exploring this further. If your religion truly is the one true religion, it will be strong enough to question it and return if you find satisfactory answers.
As someone who grew up Baptist. I believe all organized religion is a cult.
While I still consider myself Christian: I get my belief straight from the Bible without man made rituals.
I’m in no.possition to tell you what you should believe, but I’ve found if you take the Bible at its word, and only its word, the Christian life is much easier to live.
The problem with “Christianity” is it doesn’t truly follow Christ’s example.
Yes. If you didnt ask questions then i would be concerned
I struggle to think of an end to a sentence that begins “Is it okay to question…” where the answer isn’t yes.
Everything we think we know about the world should be questioned, and if it doesn’t stand up to scrutiny, discarded.
Reddit has a notorious reputation of being anti-religion, so expect answers in kind.
You have to question your religion.
Here’s my perspective: as a believer, I of course want everyone to be believers. However I do see value in doing some soul searching.
Ask yourself some questions. What makes you uncertain about remaining catholic? What do you expect from religion? Is there something you feel is missing? Maybe you would be better served in another religion. What do you feel is right? Do you believe in God but have issues with the church? Maybe you are uncertain about whether or not there is a God.
I’m not sure what the answer is for you but I hope you are able to find happiness with whatever you choose to do.
Is that you in the corner?
You are your own person, believe in whatever you wanna believe in along as it doesn’t hurt anyone else. It’s totally cool to not be Christian, don’t worry about it.
Careful, once you start questioning things you’ll go down a path of wanting to find out the truth and answers and then you’ll leave religion completely
It’s healthy to question your religion. If you decide it’s not for you, great. If you decide it is, your faith will be even stronger. If you change your mind at any point in your life, any number of times, it’s all good. They’re your beliefs, not anyone else’s.
His reaction should tell you everything you need to know about his “faith”. Religion can be a culture, a means to spiritually or a system of morality. When it is culture it rarely works out well for anyone. As a system of morality it rarely works for a changing world. As far as a means to reach spiritually you don’t really need a middle man who demands money and that’s when it really falls apart.
Religion divides.
Open your mind and you will have a much richer experience but you will no longer have the opium of the masses pumped into your veins and there’s a reason people like to use drugs.
With knowledge and freedom come pain of knowing reality and truth.
Ex catholic here. It was extremely difficult at first, I won’t lie. I used to pray every night since I was a kid and once I started questioning in my late teens the guilt of not doing it was very oppressive. Luckily you escape the toxic cycle of religion and I can say I became a much better person who appreciates life a lot more than when I was mega religious.
Im highly religious, and coming from me, yeah its okay, ive been atheist myself many years. If you want to talk in detail or maybe even try to find your faith again we can talk in dms, i know a thing or two
Yes and your father sucks on this. I am Catholic, non-practicing now, and even my priest always said to ask questions.
I strongly suggest you read up on Martin Luther. If a Catholic Monk was allowed to have a crisis of faith, then you’re allowed one, too.
Tell your dad he should be happy you’re not nailing anything to the church door, accidentally spawn a schism and cause a religious war in Europe.
What do you hope to achieve with your questioning? Keep that in mind.
To peform one’s mental gymanstics, one must first have a goal, much like a research.
Systemmatic, levelled and conditioned, not buzzing all over the place,
The practice of thought must also follow a guiding discipline, because to evaluate values, one must first have a standard of evaluation on it’s own.
Without it, the very question you’re trying to produce falls flat.
Know that religion is a system practiced onto humanity of a whole.
Seperate the two and do not intermingly confuse them.
The human must be flawed, but is it because of the religion?
Or is it the religion that have flawed a human?
Or is religion perfecting a flawed human?
Or is it Human perfecting a flawed religion?
By what standard can you define ‘flaw?”
Ive layed out the blueprints for you. Now its your turn to think the right question for the right area of effect!
Do not be hasty to fall upon a conclusion, take your time!
Nothing wrong with that. Don’t listen to everything you hear or read. Continue reading and come up with an informed decision. Not following things to a tee. Is ok, but as long as you got something out of it in the first place. Just like adding to your skills in daily life. If you don’t try to learn something new than you’re stuck with that way of thinking.
Yes. You can believe whatever you want. Catholicism. Buddhism. Atheism. Simulation Theory. Whatever.
Also note the difference between actual religious beliefs and the church/organized religion. You may be ok with your religious beliefs but have issues with the church and their interpretations. That is also fine. Even King of the Hill has an episode on this.
For example, you can still believe in Virgin Mary/Jesus/God/Creation etc if you’d like, but you don’t have to go along with what the Catholic Church explicitly spells out. This is very important nowadays for many Christians in the US as extremist right wing rhetoric and Prosperity Gospel (see the Supply Side Jesus comic) have taken over American protestant Christianity, teaching largely the opposite of everything Jesus taught (see the “Empathy is a sin” stance from the Republican party). This hypocritical shift has driven away many including myself from Christian upbringings. I’m reconciling my own beliefs in God/Jesus/etc privately, but I’ve severed any and all affiliation with any church and Christianity as a whole permanently because I do not agree with any modern Christian interpretations due to aforementioned reasons of hate and prosperity gospel.
It’s concerning if you don’t.
Religion is absolutely a choice, which is why people who do things because it’s their religion are just making a lame excuse.
1: its normal to question things, it means that you have critical thinking skills and you are open to new perspectives, learning stuff as a person and being able to accept the hypothetical outcome that you might be misinformed in something.
2: religions by nature will tell you that questioning them is wrong, they are designed that way, go ahead and shoe me a single religion out there that encourages its pepple to question it and its teachings and simply acceots people choosing to leave without any pushback or consequence from said religion.
I won’t get into politics or bash any religion here because that’s not what I’m trying to do, I am just trying to educate you that religions are by design biased against you leaving so when they tell you against it or tell you its wrong you should at least acknowledge their bias when discussing this topic just like how people against religion might be biased in the opposite direction.
3: a religion is a set of beliefs, unfortunately some people are greedy, dishonest, cruel end selfish
So when some people come across something like religion, they don’t see it as a belief but rather a convenient tool to control people for their own personal gain.
So, they enter that religion, covet positions of power abd twist the faith into a tool to control others.
I’m saying this because I am trying to be as unbiased and impartial as I can.
I do think a lot of religions have countless issues related to sociopaths and evil people sitting in position of power and misusing their power and the religion to brainwash people into believing and following UNQUESTIONINGLY that person’s every want & need… but I’m not going to outline that by bashing religion or saying that religion as a form of faith is objectively bad because of that because it isn’t – I am saying that the problem are some people in said religion, not the religion itself and never questioning religion only helps maintain these people in their lositions of power
Ultimately, you need to be the one to decide and make your mind up as to where you stand on those topics because, well, that is sort of the point as an individual, rationally thinking human being, to think of these things, hear people from all sorts of sides of the conversation, bring it all together and then come to your own conclusions based on that.
I’ll end on this note: If God exists, he gave us free will
We are told that God does everything for a reson
This means that he gave us free will for a reason: to exercise it.
And in my personal opinion, people like some of those sick religious priests out there who try to brainwash you into ignoring your free will or controlling it, are bastardizing God’s design and intent for us.
I don’t think I need to remind people who studied the bible of what it says happens when you try to rebel against God and his intentions.
But this is just my interpretation of a religion’s logic being applied to those people so make of that what you will.
I know that having to think of these things and coming to your own conclusions is scary because “but what if I’m wrong?” But you need to confront that fear if you want to exercise your God given free will.
Its why some people become believers, because its much easier to live your life while you offset the responsibility of decision making to someone/something else instead of shouldering it all by yourself.
AKA: “I made this decision but it was a bad decision, I am to blame” – scary as all hell
“I was told to make this decision by God so its not my fault” – you feel safe and take comfort that whatever happened wasn’t your fault.