This might sound a bit random, but I’ve been wonderinghow many of you still think about your first relationship? Not necessarily in a “I miss them” kind of way, but “do they ever think about me?” Or “how are they doing now?”
Even if you’re in a healthy, happy relationship now, does your mind ever drift back to that first love? How often does it happen, and what do you usually think about?
Recently I have been thinking about my first a lot, even though I have in a happy and healthy relationship for the past year. I don’t miss my ex, but I just want to know where it all went wrong and if the whole thing we had even mattered to him. maybe it’s out of fear that I’ll do something wrong and my current relationship will end too. But i just want to know if you guys ever feel this way.
Comments
📣 Reminder for our users
>1. Check the rules: Please take a moment to review our rules, Reddiquette, and Reddit’s Content Policy.
>2. Clear question in the title: Make sure your question is clear and placed in the title. You can add details in the body of your post, but please keep it under 600 characters.
>3. Closed-Ended Questions Only: Questions should be closed-ended, meaning they can be answered with a clear, factual response. Avoid questions that ask for opinions instead of facts.
>4. Be Polite and Civil: Personal attacks, harassment, or inflammatory behavior will be removed. Repeated offenses may result in a ban. Any homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist, or bigoted remarks will result in an immediate ban.
🚫 Commonly Asked Prohibited Question Subjects:
>1. Medical or pharmaceutical questions
>2. Legal or legality-related questions
>3. Technical/meta questions (help with Reddit)
This list is not exhaustive, so we recommend reviewing the full rules for more details on content limits.
✓ Mark your answers!
>If your question has been answered, please reply with
Answered!!to the response that best fit your question. This helps the community stay organized and focused on providing useful answers.I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Well I mean I have to think about my first relationship because I’m still in it. Been together 33 years, married 31 and am so happy. And, yes, I know how lucky I am.
> Ever randomly think about your first relationship? <
Why do you ask.
What do you want?
(Edit: Ah ok, I just spotted your username 😉
Not one bit.
I’ve always been able to nicely segment off parts of my life, and once that chapter is done, it’s done done. I pretty much don’t want to ever talk to them again – not out of some kind of animosity, just more of this idea that I would prefer to move forward with a new partner and not have ex’s popping up and such. I’ve decided that they’re not “it”, so I don’t want them really having any bearing on my future relationships.
The closest it gets would be if I’m driving and I recognize a street and fleetingly think “oh, so-and-so used to live down there… damn, that burrito I had for lunch was good, I probably should have grabbed two”.
Usually when I come across related questions on Reddit.
Not at all. She is someone I haven’t seen in 19 years (had to calculate that due to her being erased from
my mind MIB style) and don’t care about one bit.
A lot. Because of a break up that left marks. Even I am very well married.
I occasionally (read: every 1-2 years) think about my first relationship and then it is more in a sense of: if I had done this or that differently in that relationship, would we still be together? What would life be today if we had “made it”?
This is usually followed up by immense gratitude for not having done “this or that” because the marriage that I am in now is, by far, the best relationship that I have ever been in.
I think about it because it was so wrong and so very cringe. In 2002, I was 15 and he was 18. We met on a chatroom(mirc anyone?). My dad found the text messages on my Nokia and i got questioned but he assumed it was a classmate. In my head, it was so cool cause he had a car. Nothing sexual happened. After a few months, he went off to study overseas and we broke up . It was very emotional 😂
Im a parent now. I think it’s one of the reasons Im super vigilant about screentime and internet safety in general.
I like to think the guy is out there with his own wife and kids thinking the same thing. Wincing of that time he cried after breaking up WITH A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD.
I used to think about where it went wrong, got angry because of cheating and feeling remorse, but a few years back I went through a mental breakdown. Received the help i needed for the past 20 years and since then i realized non of my relationships prior would have ever worked out. Since then i am at a complete peace with myself and my exes.
I never wondered how they were doing, because i actually see them from time to time. Small city
I remember how good it was and how bad it ended.
Yup. I only had one in my life so I’m stuck with on memory yikes.
I’m in the same boat as you and I think it’s not an issue. I’m at a point in life where I feel accomplished and I am happy with all the decisions I’ve made in life to get to this point. But you wonder if you had made a different decision early on, what would your life be like instead. Would you still be the same you or would you be someone you wouldn’t recognize.
My first serious girlfriend absolutely loved me and wanted marriage. I always thought she was perfect and it became more evident after we broke up when I started dating other people that she truly was perfect. The reason we broke up was because I knew how committed she was and I was young with friends who dated a lot of women and I wanted to experience that, not just commit to one woman my whole life wondering what if.
Sometimes I do but it’s more in the sense of wow I was young and dumb. It’s more to cringe at my own past behaviors and reflect on how I was as a partner (spoiler alert: we were both young and dumb and caused a lot of pain to each other). Reflecting on past relationships can be beneficial, it’s how I learned you don’t have to stick around just because you’ve sunk so much time into someone, that it’s okay to disagree on something and someone who loves you will respect what you have to say. Even when what you say doesn’t match what they’d prefer you say.
Yeah, I was just thinking about him this morning, actually. He was such a sweetheart.
I had like a few times in the past but I stopped since it was a weird relationship that occurred cause it was middle school and we stupidly allowed other kids to ‘hook us up’
I’ve been with my first relationship for 42 years now and will celebrate our 40th anniversary of getting engaged this September. I truly can’t comprehend not being with your first love all your life.
Technically my second relationship. But I think of it as my first because he was my first love. And I do. I think about him semi frequently even though it’s been 14 ish years.
He died at 16 years old.
I guess it depends on how you define relationship. My first truly long-term relationship ended very badly so I don’t give one squad about her. I had several shorter things before that that didn’t last more than a few months. No really bad breakups in there and I do occasionally think about them.
Sometimes when things remind me of the past, like for all my relationships, I just wonder how they’re doing and hope they’re living their best lives. I don’t wonder if they miss me or anything like that though.
I’ll preface this by saying I’ve been married for decades. However still retain photos of that first lover. Can’t speak to my wife’s feelings about it, but she knows they exist and helped me overcome that first relationship.
Sometimes I think it made our marriage stronger because it was an example of how horribly wrong a simple word or phrase can affect a relationship forever.
I sometimes think back, not in a I-miss-her kind of way, but I guess just thinking back is normal. For many years I wished her massive ill as she ended things by jumping on some other dudes cock. But now, now I don’t care. There’s nothing there. If I passed her in the street and she were to approach me, I just wouldn’t give her the time of day. She was a reptile of a person. Probably still is.