Basically title. We’ve together for awhile and she wants me to move closer to her.
Initially I thought she wanted me to move closer to her area was because of school district which it is, somewhat.
But I found out the real reason which is because she finally feels rooted in the area. She’s not from the country and she’s moved around. She feels that if we move closer to my work place, she loses out on all the friends she has in the area.
I don’t have any friends in the area. So when I heard this, I felt like I truly understand it means a lot to her. So I felt like I can do it. If other people at work can do longer (at least 4 of coworkers do 40+ and one 60 miles+ each way), why can’t I?
But I feel this sense of doubt and second guessing. Overall, my time won’t change much from what it is currently anyways. My current time is roughly 1:20 ish. And the new area will be roughly 1:40 ish best time. My current commute is 19 miles. The new commute is 42 miles. But this is also with no traffic (ie leaving before 6:00 am. In the morning and leaving the office around 3 pm.
Idk what to do. We’ve talked about it 4 times already and i thought of every option.
There is a train station but I need to transfer. I don’t exactly want to leave my job and there are no government jobs in her area. Plus everything is unstable.
But tbh, I don’t think I would be able to afford a nice house without her either so. I live near a big city anyways so traffic is always going to stink if I decided to move anywhere right outside.
What should I do?
TLDR; gf wants me to move closer to her. We talked it out, it’s because she wants to be closer her friends and the community she’s finally rooted herself in. I don’t have any friends in the area so I don’t care as much. But commute will effectively double in length. Time will remain the same. We have talked about it 4 times already. I’m not sure what to do.
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You’re NOT moving IN with her… you’re just thinking of moving to be a bit closer to her?
Idk, I don’t think I’d make this move without a little more clear commitment to the relationship on her part?
Then again, and no offense, you were a bit vague on that front lol.
I feel you on commutes though.. fuck that. Life’s too damn short. I assume you’d eventually get acclimated.. but still. I have to travel 1:30 to therapy just once a week, and it is the baaaane of my existence. I cannot imagine doing it every day
I’m not entirely clear on the details here. Are you talking about moving in with your girlfriend, or just moving to be nearer to her? How long have you been together, and how serious are you?
If you’re serious about living together, a few extra hours of travel each week doesn’t seem like a huge sacrifice. If you’re just thinking about moving nearer to her for convenience, it’s a less compelling trade-off.