Hello Reddit.
Something very rare and…well…in both my wife (w[biologically beeing maybe m] 28) and my (m31) opinion awkward has happened.
So we had libido issues from time to time. Have 2 children (which gets interesting later) and since i confessed that I as a male feel unwanted and unattractove without certain bedroom action, i came clean. Asked if she wants to do anything about it. She started crying, told me yes she wants to do something about it and so we began searching. First of we came over some gummies that increase libido for women. She took them, it increased (placebo or not…doesnt matter). And i also mentioned she could do a bloodtest to check her hormone levels. This is where it gets interesting.
So the first results come back aaaaaaand…extremely low estrogene level and high enough testosterone level that the doc asked if she takes steroids. She doesnt.
The doc (hormonespecialist) she had an apointment after the initial bloodtest, told her that they will now take another one to be sure there was no misstake (the results beeing wrong are less then 1% according to him). That one will return on monday.
Doc told her that she looks extremely female (despite minor things like male skin, thicker beard hairs compared to other women, fat storing on her belly instead of chest, legs and hips, also always thinking she acted very male in her childhood.) I mean she has a B cup. So…the doc says the only explanation he can come up with is that she has testicles. And well…That’s awkward thinking about. Further more they are checking her chomosomes and the doc said there is a high probability, that she has some kind of mosaic type chromosomes?
The fact that she got pregnant two times, is a miracle, having two is even more, considering her testosterone levels and intersex.
So I am no expert…and I actually don’t really know how to process this, thats why i am typing it out here.
I love my wife dearly and will obviously not leave her. In hindsight all of that explains a lot of her male behaviour and her selfconscience.
Her HRT (yea the doc named it that) will start tomorrow with also the second bloodtest returning (to be sure) and also her first ultrasonic to search for the…well…testicles.
This is all big news for us and I think we are not yet fully grasping it et cetera. She jokingly said: “well tomorrow you have it on paper that you are officially gay or at least bi in a biological sense”…laughed my ass off. But it got me thinking.
Her reasoning to agree with the HRT and removal of testicles is that she might not grow very old if she has this high level of testosteron (heart will grow and so on).
Thanks for reading. I will update if theres news if youre interested. But all in all, thats that.
Edit: I absolutely love this woman. It’s not about continuation or not. Not even considered it. I value her as the most important thing in my life. It’s just a lot to take in. For her even more as for myself.
If it came over like i would value her less or something, that’s not intended, nor true. Apologies for this. We both are confused at the moment and need to think about this and accept it. I just yapp it out at the moment.
Comments
As long as you kept your sock and your boots on you’re good bro
Well it’s super interesting for sure. Good luck to you both.
Remember, if she feels like a woman then she’s a woman. These events doesn’t have to change the fact that she’s your wife, the same wife that you’ve always been with – now you just know more about her health. It also doesn’t have to change anything about your sexuality at all. Nothing wrong if it does change things either.
Wow, that would be a lot to take, but to keep things in perspective: she is exactly the same person that she was before the diagnoses started clarifying what’s been inside her all along.
Hope this new knowledge of what was always there helps her be more comfortable, and doesn’t make her feel like a freak. Because she’s not. She’s exactly who she was before the tests and scans.
She’s literally a woman. She literally got pregnant and had two children with you, what else could you ask more as a proof of a woman? So if you feel weird about the “gender/sex” or something I think you shouldn’t, you are clearly married to a woman. And yes, the name IS HRT literally (hormonal repositional treatment) for anyone who does something to change their hormones in some way, like regular cis XX women going through menopause. I mean, It sure is a pretty damn rare situation! But I guess now that you are dealing with the hormonal issues your sex life might get better, so be happy now I think
Are you seriously making this news about yourself? She’s still your wife. Would you have still gotten with her if you knew from the beginning? Of course, you would have. She’s the mother of your children.
She may have internal testes and a fully functioning uterus, but intersex people can and do have children. She feels like a woman, she’s a woman. Your sexuality is the same as it was before you learned of her intersexness. There’s many different conditions that cause it, Androgen insensitivity syndrome, Klinefelter syndrome yadda yadda.
You’re not bisexual because your wife’s secondary sex characteristics are female.