Things needed to gain independence from family (F26)

r/

My family has kept me close for years when it comes to letting me be my own person. As of this week I have finally opened a bank account for myself as I haven’t been encouraged or really allowed to have my own. What do I need to get independence? What do I need to get to be ready to move out in a year? This is an arbitrary deadline but one I hope to act on. I want to keep my relationship with my family but I need out and they don’t really seem like they know how to help. They just keep saying one day I’ll be independent but I don’t know how to get there. I need an internet parent to give me advice on what needs to be done to exist by myself on my own two feet.

Comments

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  2. Vitruviansquid1 Avatar

    You need a job that pays you enough to let you live alone and a place to live.

    To have a job, you likely need to have education and transportation. The level of education you’d want to have depends on how much the cost of living is where you live. You should figure out a budget for what you need to survive, especially factoring in the cost of your rent, groceries, and other significant bills. For transportation, it depends on where you live as well, but it might be you’d need a car, it might be you’d need a bicycle, and it might be you just need to have change for public transportation.

    You should probably line up your job before you move out because you may not know how successful your job hunt is, and you especially don’t want to just run out of money and go into debt, or be evicted, or not be able to find a job that pays out enough money for your living on your own. If you don’t line up your job before you move out, you need to have some savings to live on – some number of months of savings is probably necessary. But I really, REALLY do not recommend moving out without a job already ready for you.

    Do you know how to cook and feed yourself? If you don’t cook, you’ll need to figure out what to do for food. As a young person, you may be tempted to eat out a lot (or, even worse, order in). This is bad because it makes your meals far more expensive and it almost always also makes them less healthy. Learning how to cook a handful of meals that you like that are healthy and cheap is a very good idea.

  3. Ladybreck129 Avatar

    Do you have a job? A car or transportation? Drivers license. Copy of your birth certificate?

  4. prpslydistracted Avatar

    See r/personalfinance . It has its own wiki with the basics of budgeting, finance terms, how cc work and interest rates, savings, CDs, etc. This is a good place to start.

    Be aware of the benefits and cautions of renting; responsibilities of renter and landlords in your state so you know your guidelines.

    State employment law; your rights and limits of corporations.

    This book was published in 1989; The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen R. Covey. It was a bestseller; sold over 20M copies. Lots of common sense. Worthwhile.

  5. Deep-Promotion-2293 Avatar

    You need a job that will pay for your living expenses, rent, car, groceries, utilities, car insurance, medical. You need a car or another way of getting around. You need some savings. You also need money for security deposits on an apartment and utilities. Then you need furniture, kitchen stuff like pots and pans, dishes, silverware, cooking utensils. To get yourself situated, starting from ground zero, you’ll need probably between 5 and 10k just to get yourself started.

  6. Left_Coast_LeslieC Avatar

    What country are you in, OP?

  7. 3portie Avatar

    You need to first create your own understanding about yourself and your family. What type of relationship you want to have.

    Necessity is the mother or invention. When you need to be independent, you’ll do it.

  8. Sitcom_kid Avatar

    The bank account needs to be in a different bank from the family.