My prime developmental years were spent being very much neglected. I ended up turning into a very agreeable person. Now I’m in my early 20s and I feel like I never grew a whole personality in order to be as blank slate as possible, and it doesn’t work anymore. I don’t feel any drive to go out and do any particular things.
My partner likes a lot of things and I’ve come along with him on lots of mini-vacations/day trips/etc., and that’s all well and good, we both have good times.
But I’m starting to realize I couldn’t plan out anything similar for my interests. And it’s starting to stress me out because the little voice in the back of my head keeps reminding me that I go along on his trips and spend a significant amount of money on them, but it’s not like I could ask the same for him, because I don’t have a drive to go out and do things like this.
And it’s not like he’s being a narcissist, he’s encouraged me to think out possible trips too, and I get to add stops to his trips (always ends up being restaurants since we’d need to eat anyway). I just don’t feel any drive to travel to places and do things, I guess. I’ve talked to my friends and it seems like they all magically already have some trip plan on a back burner for the next three day weekend/break.
My major is environmental science, and I am very passionate about it, but even when I go hiking/camping I can’t do it alone. It feels like a punishment for myself.
I feel like the answer I’m looking for is related to having hobbies, but I usually don’t stick to hobbies very long due to money reasons. Even low/no-cost hobbies I’ve picked up just felt like chores after a certain period of time.
I should also add that I have spent most of my conscious years now in therapy and I have done a lot of stuff related to that field. I have been deemed “incredibly self aware” by a couple therapists when it comes to tools for mental health. I will admit that some of my problem here could be my depression, but I do genuinely feel ok and satisfied a lot of the time, just only when it comes to social interactions and such. All that to say, please don’t suggest a self help book/podcast.
Anyway, I graduate college next month, so my best excuse to myself for why I haven’t done more personal growth already has a foot out the door. I tried a couple physical hobbies recently (surfing, pole dancing, aerial silks, swing dancing) but I didn’t really feel any special connection. Does anyone have good advice for finding passion? Especially a drive to do things even by yourself, not because someone else would like it too? Sorry for rambling.
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Not everyone has a passion. It doesn’t have to be a physical activity or hobby as such.
I love reading, becoming interested in plants and gardening and drawing (which I totally suck at).
I think you’re trying too hard to fill what you perceive as a gap/flaw.
What do you like doing? Even if it’s thrift shopping or going out for lunch, cooking, whatever it is doesn’t have to take a lot of time.
Just each day try and start by spending 30 minutes doing or trying something you are interested in. Don’t overthink it.
You are you and that is good enough. Your partner seems to agree with that.
There is no requirement to have a strong desire to travel or have hobbies. It’s possible your hobby is just being around people and socializing.
I believe it is good to develop skills or learn new things. If you want to fill your life with more skills and knowledge pick something and do it. Set a goal for how long you will work on it each week and stick to that goal. Some hobbies are great from the start while others require time to get good enough to enjoy it.
I love riding my bike. There are times when the thought of going riding is daunting. It’s worth it to push through the ennui and start the day’s ride and I start to relax and enjoy it. Any guy you pick up will be the same. Just push through and do it. If you find after a few months that you really didn’t like it then drop it. But if you’re enjoying it carry on.
Didn’t let your skill level stop you. I like sketching but I am horrible. But it’s still fun. Sometimes I share my worst pieces and laugh with my friends at them. I once tried to sketch my son and created a demon baby. It was quite bad, but may have made a great NFTc during the craze.