I’ve been getting sicker and sicker over the past few years, and it’s getting to the point where I can barely handle college now. I had to quit my jobs, drop career plans, and lose a lot of my hobbies/friends in the process.
I’m just tired.
After this semester, I really just want to stop everything and work on my health for a year. Fortunately, my parents have my back, and I actually just got diagnosed for PsA and put on meds too… but I just feel so ashamed of myself. Ashamed and embarrassed that I can’t keep moving forward. As silly as it sounds… I don’t want my girlfriend to leave me for it either. Because honestly, I’m just so behind in life right now compared to others 🙁
Anybody have a good way to frame this kind of timeline into something better? I’m struggling.
Thank you.
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You should not be ashamed or embarrassed to take the time that you need to get yourself healthier to continue moving onto the future. If you don’t take a gap year you are just going to make everything worse with your physical health. Trust me as someone who has chronic illness your mental health will continue to tank as well. Your parents have your back on this because they agree that you need this. If your girlfriend doesn’t understand that you need this then she’s not the one sweetie. I know it sucks. I know it’s unfair. You have a diagnosis now though. Now that you’ve got that You will really truly be able to work towards being healthier again because your doctors know the type of treatments you’re going to need.
Your mental health is very important also, you need to see somebody even if it’s just for talk therapy. It’s incredibly incredibly common for people with chronic illness to have a comorbid depression because of how freaking hard it is to deal with. You’ve got this. Taking the year off is a smart choice, you can’t pump water from a dry well.
Take the gap year. I had to take time off for my injuries in college and I was better for it. Being in pain deeply affects your studies and you need to take time to work on healing your body and also your mind. It sounds like you might benefit from therapy in there too- if you aren’t seeing a therapist already… When you’re ready to go back you have to find a groove that works for you. For me it was dropping a class and staying an extra semester. Did I graduate way later than my friends? Yup. Was I less stressed and more balanced? Also yup.
It’s important not to compare yourself to friends. You will always be in a different place in your life. Someone will get married first, have a baby first, get a promotion first. Someone will leave the friend group first, and then probably another. People drift apart, people do different things. It’s a natural progression of life. The less you focus on yourself the more you get caught up in your own mind and these pressures that aren’t even there.
I would just consider it a traditional gap year. Work on your health AND do something to prepare yourself for university. Take some online classes in an area of interest, join a Maker Space, learn a language, etc. the bonus here is that when you are catching up with friends, you have something to discuss besides your health.