Attractive women – do people automatically assume that you’re stuck up/rude?

r/

Do you constantly have to “prove” that you’re not snobby?

Comments

  1. sunsista_ Avatar

    Not attractive, but I am Black and introverted/quiet so yes, I get accused of being “cold”, “hostile”, and “uppity” without even saying a word. 

  2. Daffneigh Avatar

    The trick is to actually BE rude

  3. knr__ Avatar
  4. ____unloved____ Avatar

    Only if I’m having a bad day, it would seem. Otherwise I think I look too friendly and cheerful to seem stuck up.

  5. nogardleirie Avatar

    I am told I am attractive- people do sometimes assume I am rude but that is because I have RBF

  6. miraculum_one Avatar

    It’s easiest to just be yourself. There will always be people jumping to conclusions about something but I find it best to ignore it as much as is reasonably possible.

  7. Tiredaf212 Avatar

    I’m not a 10 but I get called pretty. I am not pretty enough that men can’t pick on my looks though. I am also an introvert with ptsd. I am not super peopley anymore since I’ve been diagnosed with this. Usually people are very happy to approach me. I’m told I actually seem very innocent etc.

    I have had horrific reactions to not responding positively to others or just being quiet. Verbal abuse, sexual assult, stalking etc. I feel men feel entitled to my time, look to me for an ego boost or sex and when I just don’t reciprocate its a huge problem.

    Edit: I also did not grow up pretty. So it was wild when people (especially men) started looking to me for attention and validation when they started violating my boundries because they wanted too. I’ve been sexually assulted multiple times as well.

    One of the men apologised to me and regretted it because I was “actually pretty” and we could have dated if he didin’t do that to me. He told me he didin’t think the last few girls he had been with were attractive enough. I’m starting to age out now but I still get attention from older men. I hate it. I’m turned off of them completely and can never see myself getting married now even though I used to be a hopeless romantic. Sometimes I wish I was dead.

  8. FiveCamellias Avatar

    My bestie’s super attractive, and when we were in high school everyone would automatically assume she was stuck up, snotty and rude, they’d come talk to me instead of her and be like “what’s her problem??” and I’m like “wtf she’s like the nicest person ever?”, of course my gorgeous queen fully embraced the villain role, it was her iconic era, we still laugh about it now.

  9. LitLantern Avatar

    No but I am pretty smiley/friendly, so people… erm… men are often SHOCKED that I am also very intelligent.

  10. mvms Avatar

    Pretty in the right light, very attractive when I was young and skinny. I have such severe resting bitch face that people do, in fact, think I’m a bitch.

  11. landing-softly Avatar

    I wouldn’t know because I go out of my way to be kind and be perceived as kind, in part as self protection and part because it’s just a nice way to go through life.

  12. renzodown Avatar

    People assume that I don’t need them or tell me I’m “intimidating”. I have been told I also give off “don’t talk to me” vibes but I don’t know why. I smile a lot and I always strike up conversations with people everywhere I go.

  13. SaltyWitchery Avatar

    No, but I’m a white woman with ADHD and a real people pleasing problem

  14. SinfullySinless Avatar

    I have gotten the “I thought she was a stuck up bitch until she started talking football” review more than once lol

    Idk if it has anything to do with attractiveness or more that men get insanely off put when you talk about girly stuff and prefer conversations in their realm (sports or video games).

  15. IronNia Avatar

    Being pleasant is very dangerous to a beautiful woman.

  16. Rogue_bae Avatar

    Atp I don’t care if I am perceived that way. It keeps my life peaceful. I have RBF anyway lol.

  17. ilikerosiepugs Avatar

    I have to consciously try to not have “resting bitch face”

  18. Vast_Sandwich805 Avatar

    I get told all the time that I have a “bad face” (it’s like RBF in Spanish) and it makes me feel really ugly. I’ll be minding my own business in a pleasant mood, and someone will go out of their way to point out that I look so pissed off/angry/bitchy. It makes me feel like I’m actually grotesque I think it has nothing to do with being attractive I feel like I must actually look like a witch and I want to get Botox/filler to do something about it because it’s caused issues at work even. Co-workers have accused me of being catty or “scowling” at them when I am quite literally just like, listening to them give a presentation lol.

  19. NeckBeard137 Avatar

    Any time I try to enforce my boundaries.

  20. softcore_UFO Avatar

    Pretty and brown, people assume I’m mean. Or a slut. Or stupid. Or all of above

  21. highheelcyanide Avatar

    No. I sometimes get “mean/intimidating” but that was a lot more when I was younger, and I definitely have RBF. I am also just a bitch, so that probably doesn’t help either.

    In general, I find women find me more approachable because I’m pretty. I’m not sure about men, as I avoid them.

  22. xMasochizm Avatar

    I’m not sure I even am attractive anymore. Men don’t talk to me so I assume either I am so beautiful that I intimidate them (doubtfully), or I am so plain they can’t be bothered. As for everyone else, I find it really is a toss up from one cultural, ethnic, or age group to the next. I never assume anyone is any kind of way unless they present themselves that way. It’s actually disappointing the number of customers who come into a place and proudly proclaim that they’re difficult as if it’s a badge of honour. Like..why are you proud of that?

    There’s a huge difference between being discerning and selective vs being rude and obnoxious and disrespectful when someone is making suggestions or recommendations to you. I also find it fairly rude when people refuse to make eye contact with me or say “I’ll call you if I need you.” I know they don’t want to be bothered—totally get it. But this is retail, there’s a corporate office above me who tells me I have to talk to you. I’m working, it’s my job. Please don’t be mean to me for doing the minimum that’s required of me.

    Anyways, I really hope no one thinks ill of me.

  23. Repulsive-Studio-120 Avatar

    Yes!…now I don’t care, before I would make myself small to make people feel more comfortable but that also made me Uncomfortable.

  24. wretchedspinster Avatar

    I think it depends on the person. I’m considered pretty, but I’m also tall, heavily tattooed, quiet, and have RBF and have been told I’m intimidating. If anything I find it helpful. I’m actually a goofy airhead but I also like being left alone, and if the “uppity” aura I project helps that then I’ll take it as a win.

    I have some friends who are very pretty but petite and more “approachable” which causes them to be infantilized, called “cute,” and taken less seriously, which drives them nuts. I imagine I’d hate it too.

  25. KnownHamster3665 Avatar

    People have told me that they’re intimidated by me until they get to know me. Maybe because I am really tall for a woman, like 5’8″

    One of my proudest moments was being told I looked like Kate Winslet in Titanic by a drunk lady at Red Lobster

  26. spikesarefun Avatar

    I’m friendly and try my best to make others feel comfortable. So I’m labeled a ditz/bimbo. I’m not stupid, I’m just nice and have large boobs.

  27. aliensnackfiend Avatar

    idk if I’m “attractive” but i have high functioning autism and yes, my whole life people have assumed i’m snotty, rude, or mean for being quite or not understanding tone and facial expressions. It’s really annoying because both men and women make bizarre assumptions about me. Mostly they just assume i’m a snob who thinks i’m better than them just for being quiet and not smiling all the time.

  28. raerae1991 Avatar

    Looking back at my life, when I was considered young and beautiful, I would say people thought they had more access to me because they were attracted to me. Then got upset and called me stuck up because I didn’t reciprocate what they wanted me to. Now that I’m past the due date, so to speak. People don’t expect free access or have the same responses to rejection. And I’m not just talking about wanting to date. I am not expected to be as accommodating in work, or inter actions in public spaces. I haven’t been told to “smile” by strangers in years

  29. Venomenon- Avatar

    I was pretty when I was younger AND I’m socially awkward/introverted.

    So yes I automatically get tarred with the rude/stuck up brush, but really I just need to sus you out before I let you in.

  30. BeccaaCat Avatar

    No but people always assume I’m flirting! I’m autistic AF so maybe I am and I just don’t realise it but I’m generally just friendly and bubbly.

  31. Sky-of-Blue Avatar

    If I’m friendly and talk to a man he thinks I’m interested. To the point I gain stalkers. If I don’t, I’m a stuck up bitch. 🤷🏻‍♀️

  32. SparkleSelkie Avatar

    No, they just assume I’m stupid most of the time

  33. 2_LEET_2_YEET Avatar

    Randos think I’m a fucking delight until I tell them I’m not into cheating on my husband. Then I’m cold-blooded.

    Mfkr don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to. I don’t know you, and I’m not obligated to entertain you. I’d rather go back to my peace and play phone mahjong at a table by myself.

  34. Bundleoftulips Avatar

    I’ve been told I fit into what society considers attractive. I am an introvert, and have social anxiety. I am a people pleaser.

    I have been told many times that people think my facial expressions look rude when I have the same face as a male nearby (i.e just staring off, disinterested, or bored).

    I have been judged much more harshly than males near me for far less worse behavior, I’m not superior in work either. I have been told off for sighing when a peer of mine yells at everyone and calls people b****es because they could find it offensive.

    I don’t think I have a “RBF” but I’ve been told I do, my resting face is just blank, I don’t smile but I’m not scowling. My eyebrows are not down and angry. I look peaceful imo.