Im a highschool student and I got myself a boyfriend. He’s the kindest boy I ever met in my life, hes funny, sweet, and compliments me everyday. At school he always gives me daily hugs that makes my day. I’ve always searched for a guy who doesn’t think watching anime and having your little interest is weird. He also watches anime, and has his little nerdy interest of his own, which I find sooooo amazing. He is incredibly handsome, and I’ve always had my eyes on him ever since that one math class I had with him. He’s a forest of green flags and we’ve haven’t got in any issues so far.
Our only differences is, he’s an Atheist and I’m a Christian. He smokes weed under aged and im basically the opposite. The major difference is that he has chill parents and I have the parents that would freak out and punish me for a mention of a boyfriend. They would take away everything from me, discipline me, and forever mention disappointment to me until I move out. And if my mom finds out hes an atheist, she’ll probably react even worse and might go crazy like you’ll never seen a woman do before.
But I love him, and I want to do everything in my power to make him happy and loved. I’ve never felt this way with anyone, and I want to learn even more about him. I’ve never felt so important and cared for, he speaks so gently to me while im used to being screamed at. Hes too understanding, and listens to me talk all the time. Whenever I stutter and struggle to talk, he tells its okay and he wants to know what im saying. Hes been so respectful to me, and we take our time on eachother making sure if we are comfortable with something or not. I always wanted to feel loved by the opposite gender and feel cared for physically and mentally. Hes amazing, and we are so kind to eachother, we promised to never curse at eachother if we get in arguements in the future.
But my strict parents is the problem of the relationship, because I could never hangout with him after school. I feel horrible keeping him a secret from my parents even though he said he’ll wait. Hes the type of kid that hangs out with his friends almost everyday, meanwhile im the kid who feels imprisoned in my home every single day and see my friends 3x a year when it comes to hanging out at their house. I understand the worry of my parents of a boyfriend, because my mom was pregnant at 17 and my dad thinks every guy just wants to have sex. But my boyfriend wants to save his innocence, and I want to wait for marriage. My parents have a horrible relationship, they always tell my siblings and I personally that they wish they never married eachother. They yell at eachother everyday, my dad tells her he hates her guts while my mom screams that hes going to hell. Since I was a little child ive been surrounded by their fighting, it went as bad to them tackling eachother on the floor and yelling at me to choose which one. They are like children, always blaming eachother and not fixing things out. I cringe everytime they swore at eachother and I would sometimes freak out anxiously to cover my ears with music or hide. But then they can continue the day on regular terms, and the next day they are okay.They don’t go on dates, they never buy eachother couple stuff, they dont go out with eachother, and they stay home but seperated from eachother across the house to smoke for hours. Ive never seen them really affectionate and sometimes I feel like they use eachother for sex. They told me they are only staying with eachother because for their children. I don’t know what love in couple terms should be like.
Thats why I don’t really care that my boyfriend is an atheist, because seeing my Christian parents having a horrible relationship while my atheist boyfriend have done nothing but been pure kind to me, makes me not care. My GOAL is to have what true love is like, to grasp it to have it as mine. I want a relationship of just kindness and care, and I want to have it with him. I don’t want him to ever feel controlled nor upset, I just want him to be happy. I’ll never get rid of his friends or check his phone. I trust him. When I overthink, I bite it and distract myself like painting or reading or playing games, and when I wait it out I always get a message of him reminding me he loves me. Im not overly clingy because I respect that we eachother have our personal freetime. I’ve never had this connection with someone, and I just want to be at his house and cuddle in his bed until we fall asleep. I don’t want to do anything dirty to him, I just want innocent love until we find that deep connection and desire to have that precious moment to explore one another but only for eachother. I want to explore the world with him, or maybe it can go as little as exploring someone’s backyard XD. I just want to be alone with him, I don’t care if not a single dollar was spent, his love is the riches. He never bought me anything nor gave me a gift, which I don’t mind because I never been loved like this before. I once gave him a card, writing my feelings about him in it and taking my time to paint and draw on it. And it brought him to tears, which melted my heart.
Can someone tell me tips on how to the best girlfriend for him, or how to help my situation im in right now? Sometimes I feel lost and sad that I can’t do what a girlfriend can do physically for him. I appreciate whoever who read this, I just felt like letting it out. Though I hope whoever is reading this has a very lovely day. You are loved.š
Comments
Regardless of religion, if bro thinks that sex is a necessary thing in his relationships and u dont feel comfortable doing so – maybe time to reconsider.
But if not all is well that ends well š