Probably not a major thing to many people, but I, a woman in my mid 20s, really wish I could just… be someone’s wife for the sake of image or something.
Before I go further- I’m not going to string a man along and get into a relationship where he loves me and I don’t love him. I have zero desire to use someone like that.
I have issues with my feelings; I’m often detached or muted, and it’s the sort of thing where I don’t feel love the way people expect. I still care, I still want people around me to be happy and well taken care of. but that’s often a feeling of obligation. I know that’s how a good person feels towards those around them, that idea.
Lately I wish I could get pregnant, baby fever is hitting hard. But I don’t want to have a kid on my own, and I want to make sure they have a good life, one of which I can’t provide by myself anyways due to some health issues. I want them to have a good family foundation. While I find it hard to love another adult, I have always loved kids and have always wanted my own- but I figure that’s never going to happen unless I want to be cruel to either a man or a kid.
So I daydream sometimes of having a man who gets it, that I don’t love him like that but I care about him. Maybe he feels the same way and is just meeting some quota for an image, and he knows he can do what he wants with others. I provide a good image, happy home and some kids. We get along well but we don’t love each other and don’t have expectations beyond basic respect and consideration when the doors are closed. I’ll make sure things are clean, we spend time as a family for the kids’ sake, he can go and fuck around and I can just take any free time to enjoy my hobbies by myself or something. A man who shares my ideas of wanting to be a father and having a good family foundation without having to be a loving husband.
But that’s silly and unrealistic, and I know that. Like I said, I’m not cruel enough to lie about it. I just really needed to get the thought out of my head.
Reiterating one last time, I have no real intentions of getting knocked up (would be cruel to bring a kid here when I can’t give them a good life) nor any intention of using a man. The dream is me and him agree wholeheartedly on this idea.
Comments
This is such a raw and self-aware post, and honestly, it’s not silly or unrealistic at all—it’s just rare for someone to articulate it so honestly. You’re not wrong for wanting partnership without the emotional expectations that usually come with it. What you’re describing sounds more like a pragmatic life partnership than a traditional marriage, and there are people who feel the same way—who want stability, a family, mutual respect, and shared goals without needing the romantic connection that so many assume must be there.
You’re also incredibly considerate about not misleading someone or bringing a child into the world without being sure you can give them the right life. That says a lot about your integrity.
You’re not alone in feeling emotionally detached in relationships—plenty of people experience love differently or not at all in the typical sense, and they still build meaningful, functional lives with others. The key is what you already get: honesty, transparency, and mutual understanding.
Your “dream” may not be common, but it’s far from impossible. You deserve to find peace in your version of what a fulfilling life looks like—even if it doesn’t follow the usual mold.
This is such a raw and self-aware post, and honestly, it’s not silly or unrealistic at all—it’s just rare for someone to articulate it so honestly. You’re not wrong for wanting partnership without the emotional expectations that usually come with it. What you’re describing sounds more like a pragmatic life partnership than a traditional marriage, and there are people who feel the same way—who want stability, a family, mutual respect, and shared goals without needing the romantic connection that so many assume must be there.
You’re also incredibly considerate about not misleading someone or bringing a child into the world without being sure you can give them the right life. That says a lot about your integrity.
You’re not alone in feeling emotionally detached in relationships—plenty of people experience love differently or not at all in the typical sense, and they still build meaningful, functional lives with others. The key is what you already get: honesty, transparency, and mutual understanding.
Your “dream” may not be common, but it’s far from impossible. You deserve to find peace in your version of what a fulfilling life looks like—even if it doesn’t follow the usual mold.
This is such a raw and self-aware post, and honestly, it’s not silly or unrealistic at all—it’s just rare for someone to articulate it so honestly. You’re not wrong for wanting partnership without the emotional expectations that usually come with it. What you’re describing sounds more like a pragmatic life partnership than a traditional marriage, and there are people who feel the same way—who want stability, a family, mutual respect, and shared goals without needing the romantic connection that so many assume must be there.
You’re also incredibly considerate about not misleading someone or bringing a child into the world without being sure you can give them the right life. That says a lot about your integrity.
You’re not alone in feeling emotionally detached in relationships—plenty of people experience love differently or not at all in the typical sense, and they still build meaningful, functional lives with others. The key is what you already get: honesty, transparency, and mutual understanding.
Your “dream” may not be common, but it’s far from impossible. You deserve to find peace in your version of what a fulfilling life looks like—even if it doesn’t follow the usual mold.
I’ll pay you to show up to events, PTA meetings, and Christmas parties to make my ex jealous
I couldn’t agree more.
There are people like you out there babes, you’ll find the right man. I’ve met many like this and seen many. You got this bestie
I felt exactly the same. turns out I’m a lesbian with depression, but I’m still working on it, relationships are somehow way scarier to me than having a child.
life is weirder than the media pretends it is though. I know a few people who are happily raising children with a friend. they couldn’t really get the whole relationship thing to work and entered a sort of platonic partnership with someone like-minded, who they trusted.
I hope you can look into the possibility of depression. you sound like you have a lot more dread than excitement towards the future. you deserve more of the latter.
I mean, honestly, that’s what marriage was until very recently. It was a business decision, but one that had kids and joy and whatnot. Try looking for somebody who isn’t from America and you’re more likely to find it, I think.
fuck around. There’s lots of guys willing to
Maybe there’s an asexual aromantic dating group out there lol