Why is it such a challenge for young women to get their tubes tied? Even female providers seem to be reluctant about doing the procedure. Are providers afraid they will be sued if they later change their mind? Or have there been cases of them being sued in the past? If a women does have regrets, shouldn’t that be on them rather than the providers?
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> Are providers afraid they will be sued if they later change their mind? Or have there been cases of them being sued in the past?
As far as I know this has never happened. From what I understand it’s mostly condescending doctors “protecting” women who they don’t think know what they want.
For me it was surprisingly easy. My male gynecologist had zero issue giving me the surgery referral.
I did have to sign a paper acknowledging that after the procedure I would no longer be able to have children, which I thought was hysterical.
I’m not sure why, really. I had to tell my doctor that it would ruin my relationship if I ever got pregnant because I would definitely have an abortion. My husband doesn’t want children but is against abortion. He was like, “Oh, your husband is okay with this,” then proceeded to give me a referral 🤦♀️
Sexism
There is a fear a woman will change her mind later down the line, but it is rare for that to happen. That’s why most providers refuse to do them on women under the age of 30-35 and/or with no children.
There is a list of doctors who will.
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1Djia_WkrVO3S4jKn6odNwQk7pOcpcL4x00FMNekrb7Q/htmlview
This world has never been about endorsing women’s autonomy. Even professionals really don’t think we know what we want…
It is another way for cishet men to try and control afab people. Plain and simple.
Society still does not believe that women should have full autonomy over their own bodies, and they feel that we have an obligation to reproduce.
If you don’t have kids already or aren’t married to a cishet male, there is a slim to none chance they will help you… even for women in their 40s or 50s.
Patriarchal society where a young woman’s primary unspoken role is to bear a man’s child. .. and rejecting this is an affront to the future of humanity.
Thankfully menopause exists after which time said woman is free to do her own thing.
It’s such an interesting topic, in all honesty.
“Of particular concern for physicians is that some patients who undergo sterilization experience regret later on (MacKenzie et al., 2009). This is distressing for the patient (Kelekci et al., 2005), and potentially expensive if she chooses to undergo a surgical reversal or IVF (Curtis et al., 2006). Previous studies have linked regret to a number of patient characteristics including: young age at sterilization (Hillis et al., 1999; Kariminia et al., 2002; Curtis et al., 2006; Moseman et al., 2006; Jamieson, 2007; Ludermir et al., 2009), having few children at the time of sterilization (Kariminia et al., 2002), losing a child after the sterilization (Ludermir et al., 2009), feeling pressured by a partner (Moseman et al., 2006; Ludermir et al., 2009), entering a relationship with a new partner (Kariminia et al., 2002; Moseman et al., 2006; Ludermir et al., 2009) and having the procedure post-partum (Hillis et al., 1999; Kariminia et al., 2002; Ludermir et al., 2009). Some of these factors are unforeseeable, while others, if present at the time of the sterilization request, could raise a doctor’s suspicion that a patient is not an ideal candidate for sterilization.”
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3005997/
It’s such an interesting topic, in all honesty.
“Of particular concern for physicians is that some patients who undergo sterilization experience regret later on (MacKenzie et al., 2009). This is distressing for the patient (Kelekci et al., 2005), and potentially expensive if she chooses to undergo a surgical reversal or IVF (Curtis et al., 2006). Previous studies have linked regret to a number of patient characteristics including: young age at sterilization (Hillis et al., 1999; Kariminia et al., 2002; Curtis et al., 2006; Moseman et al., 2006; Jamieson, 2007; Ludermir et al., 2009), having few children at the time of sterilization (Kariminia et al., 2002), losing a child after the sterilization (Ludermir et al., 2009), feeling pressured by a partner (Moseman et al., 2006; Ludermir et al., 2009), entering a relationship with a new partner (Kariminia et al., 2002; Moseman et al., 2006; Ludermir et al., 2009) and having the procedure post-partum (Hillis et al., 1999; Kariminia et al., 2002; Ludermir et al., 2009). Some of these factors are unforeseeable, while others, if present at the time of the sterilization request, could raise a doctor’s suspicion that a patient is not an ideal candidate for sterilization.”
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3005997/
It’s because doctors are very cautious about any procedure that might permanently impact something that is a basic life function. I had to go on Testosterone Replacement Therapy because I had an endocrine condition, and I got the same caution from doctors because it might permanently affect my fertility (even though the condition probably made me infertile anyway). It’s not just for women, even though it might be more pronounced.
It’s religious, paternalistic BS. Many, many US hospitals are run by Catholic groups.
I asked my doctor about getting a vasectomy and he kept saying ‘what if you meet a nice girl who wants kids?’ His main point seemed to be it was not a medically necessary procedure and he didn’t want me to regret it. I don’t know why it was his business what a man in his mid-40s who already had a kid did with his bits, but ultimately it was too expensive so I didn’t do it
Women should have full control over their own bodies, period. I reckon doctors are scared of lawsuits if a gal changes her mind later. But that ain’t fair. A woman knows her own mind and should be able to make choices without fear of consequences. It’s discrimination, plain and simple. Those doctors need to get with the program and respect women’s autonomy.
It usually comes from doctors who are somewhat misogynistic or have personal opinions in regards to women’s health.
They convince themselves that a woman is mistaken or hysterical or stupid if she doesn’t want kids. They convince themselves that they’ll want kids later in life. Or that maybe their husband wants kids and she doesn’t. Or that she’s going behind her husband’s back. Or that she won’t be able to get a husband with her tubes tied.
They just feel a level of control and take advantage of their power to enforce their personal opinions on these women.
There’s a list on the childfree sub with Dr’s around the globe to get fixed, no questions asked
Because BaBiEs. Honestly, that’s literally all it comes down to. Men have always controlled women’s bodies and will continue to do so unless women finally decide to stop allowing it.
Same reason why it’s being made impossible for women to get an abortion. In the US.
* it’s abdominal surgery. You have to go under general anesthesia, which is always a risk, and recovery is not instantaneous. It’s much easier if you can do laparoscopic surgery but still not easy.
* It’s basically irreversible. Lots of people have life plans in their 20’s, especially in their early 20’s, that change in their 30s. I’ve personally met moms who hadn’t wanted kids in their 20s but changed their minds.
*There are multiple other birth control options without either of those disadvantages. They have their own disadvantages, of course, but one of those will be the better choice for a lot of women.
Ok as a childfree man, let me tell you what the reality is.
Sterilization is often stupidly difficult to get no matter what sex you are. It actually took me 15 years and I don’t know how many different urologists to finally get my vasectomy, and even then the doc only agreed because I was “old enough to know what I want” at 31yo. I even had one doctor in my mid-20s tell me to return in a year if I still wanted it. A year went by and he reveals that he never had any intention of keeping his word. He just wanted me to change my mind.
Yes, it is on average more difficult for women but I believe the difference can be explained by the procedures requiring actual surgery. However, let’s not pretend that there aren’t women who luck out with a fantastic doctor who pens them in on the woman’s very first try. Or lucky men who get the same preferential treatment. It all stupidly comes down to luck.
Now, the biggest reason doctors refuse is because most people on this planet have no fucking clue what they actually want. I can’t tell you how many of my own friends swore up and down that they never wanted kids only to change their minds later. Hell, go look at the childfree subreddit and you’ll see no shortage of people on the fence. If anything, doctors are smart for refusing to believe most people, as much as that makes people like myself suffer.
Its more so age that will stop a doctor then anything else, this is true of both men and women who go for sterilization. The only area really you can get major surgery that will sterilize you is gonna be gender affirming care, but that is more so political pressure that is allowing it. Yeah though, its not a “women” thing its gonna be an “age” thing, and it makes sense as people’s minds are still developing. Heck, there are mental disorders that won’t settle in till you are mid-life even so think about that, and some of them can be very severe changing every part of you. Think about that if you are under 25, you are still prone to major mental disorders that can get you locked up in the mental hospital for the rest of your life, and they still might surface and will take a few years or less, to go from initial warning signs to all out full swing in effect.
Misogyny.
The simple answer is “misogyny.”
It’s more complicated than that, obviously, but sexism is definitely a good part of it.
I’m having surgery in the general area soon and they offered to do a tubal while they’re in there.
Medical misogyny is real and it’s not about the individuals being misogynists themselves.
But we’re dealing with doctors who have been educated based on medical knowledge that, while it changes constantly, hasn’t necessarily evolved that much over time. Which is why some are now finding out that the symptoms of a heart attack are different in women, for instance. Which is why the posology of most medicines were never studied on women.
Which is why the assumption goes that, unless there’s a medical reason to remove them, better let female reproductive organs where they are in case they eventually serve a purpose.
The short answer is: Misogyny.
The long answer is: Society still treats women as if their bodies are the property of their (future) husbands and good only for producing offspring for said (future) husbands, and if you’re not producing offspring for your (future) husband then what purpose do you serve? You should think about your (future) husband’s (hypothetical) feelings and maybe decide not to deprive him of his (hypothetical) offspring because that would make him sad.
I pulled the “I’m gay” card and my doctor was all “Oh, so your future wife can have the kids”. Sure doc, whatever helps you sleep at night.
It wasn’t bad for me but I did it at 33 just after giving birth to my twins. They asked me 47 times if I was sure but I’d had it documented at all my pre-natal appointments that I was sure.
I’m a year and a half out and very VERY happy I did it. My family is complete and knowing I don’t have to worry about unwanted pregnancy while living in the south US is really nice with the current political climate.
I didn’t have any problems getting my tubes tied. I had to sign a waiver and wait 30 days but that was it.
Because people (mainly men) think they own women’s bodies. Doctors. Spouses. Religions.Society. State and federal Governments. Literally always another layer of shit to get through to get the care you need as a woman.
I live in NY. It was not hard at all. They actually offered it to me while I had my second kid. They were like “as long as we’re in there…” And my coworkers with more than one kid said their provider also had the same conversation. And we’re all married white ladies in our mid 30s. It’s funny bc half our office is sterilized at this point.
People tend to project their world views onto others. If they’re someone who’s happy with kids (which, if they’re outta med school, is likely) they might not 100% grasp how people couldn’t want kids.
This is generally the case with most non-medically necessary procedures. It’s just that when plastic surgeons say “you don’t need a face lift”, it’s taken as a complement.
Been a very long battle for mine.
Child cancer survivor from a young age without knowing what it means I didn’t want kids.
Due to chemo had periods from five years old.
At age ten I started having long periods. 175 days long. At age 13 felt something was off in the womb.
In my 20’s had Endo, PCOS and was treated for that.
Still had long periods even with treatment.
It was in the last three years did the doctors start listening to me about something wrong going on.
I had a skin tag and they jump to cancer.
Was on a three monthly check ups and after two years of that and everything still happening I got the womb removed.
I had to fight for 22 years for the doctors to listen.
Even going though five pads an hour wasn’t enough for them to do something.
It took me years to get one. It was always a conversation of ‘let’s try this’ I finally got my bisalp in December of last year. I was persistent that if my doctor didn’t send me to talk to the surgeon I’d find another. The surgeon was great and just went over making sure I was sure and didn’t push further. Edit: spelling
If it’s anything like cats, it’s because the reproductive organs are on the inside. It’s a lot easier, safer, and less expensive to snip a cord outside the body than having to open up the gut, snip a cord, and close the body up again.
Edit: turns out, it’s nothing like cats. In cats we take the whole organ out.
Sexism.
My sister in law was refused when she was in her early twenties and I’m still missed about it.
Also I think because she never had kids they didn’t want to. I got mind done but wad much easier for me having had children.
There is a stigma about women being mothers and it’s so fkn stupid.
Short answer, permanence/risks of the procedure and mysogeny.
Doctors are often reluctant to permanently change someone’s body, especially in a way that so strongly affects their future (having kids), unless medically necessary (due to potential regret, among other things). Surgury is also inherently risky, particularly when it’s more invasive, and comes with significant recovery time and potential complications. A vasectomy, by contrast to tubal ligation, is much easier and more successful to reverse, on top of being a much less invasive procedure itself (lower risks, lower recovery time).
But the real reason, usually, is because women are expected to be baby machines at their husband’s whim. “But what if your husband/future husband wants kids” is the usual objection, completely disregarding the woman’s wishes (and the fact that she might not marry a man who wants biological kids, considering the incompatible life goals there).
I know someone who’s been trying to get a hysterectomy approved for over ten years now due to debilitating pain and endometriosis. You can probably guess how that’s going for her and why.
The answer for this and for most of the issues women deal with even to this age is all due to the “patriarchy”.
Many people(mostly men but even some older women) think that they know what is best for young women, that young women cannot “know what they’re talking about” and that they will “clearly regret this”(while conveniently forgetting that getting your tubes tied doesn’t mean that a woman cannot get pregnant by other means(like IVF), as long as they still have access to their eggs(be they frozen somewhere else or still inside themselves, just unable to get to the womb) they can still get pregnant with outside help.
So I really do not get why so many people(again, mostly men) tend to be so strung up on the idea of a young woman making it easier for her to not have kids by accident(or due to rape).By doing the surgery they literally end up being the ones with all the power to decide if they do want to get pregnant or not, and maybe that is also why it’s a challenge for them to get sterilized.
Because at the end of the day many men don’t want women to have control over their own bodies, to be the ones to decide if they will have children or not, they want to impose it on the women and(as it happens a lot) let them deal with the consequences of it later.Be it living a hard life having to provide for a child that she didn’t want or being labeled as “evil” all because she decided to abort a child that she didn’t want.
It all boils down to control.
Most men(and some older women) don’t want younger women to be able to have control over themselves, they want to be the ones to control them.
Because not enough people look at women as actual people. We are looked at as baby-making vessels and men’s property
At first I thought this was about practicality lol, so I was like, well the guys bits are easier to cut off or get to. But then I realized this was about the social stuff, and honestly I just think it’s just because women are often viewed and treated similarly to how we treat children, rather than as independent and consenting adult actors.
Im going off a very loose argument but all the way back in grade 7 or something I remember that my bio textbook had this random line about how vasectomies are easier to perform and easier to reverse compared to tube tying. The line was so random just existed by itself in between explaining both procedures
Also yes getting sued is a thing too, even if they don’t win they sure as shit can harass you for a long time.
It was pretty easy for me actually. I also have a friend that got it done in her early twenties after having 2 kids. Part of it is probably the worry about being sued, that’s why they make you sign a ton of documents saying you know it’s permanent. I had at one time read a Reddit post where a lady was pissed after it was done. She kept referring to it as getting her tubes tied and they removed the tubes. Which I guess is pretty standard practice now, no tubes means no tubal pregnancy and a much lower chance of ovarian cancer. She was mad because she thought she would get it reversed in a couple years.
Male sterilization can be done as an office procedure with local anesthesia.
Female sterilization is typically abdominal surgery with all the attendant risks.
There’s also, sadly, the common attitude that women are less capable of making their own decisions about their reproductive health.
The typical parameters around it that make it difficult are –
18-30 is “prime childbearing age.” The mother is likely in the best shape she’ll ever be, and sustaining a pregnancy that doesn’t wreck her is likely easier. If she does miscarry, it is also more likely that the body recovers and learns from the experience. (Not 100% by any means, and not taking into account PCOS, cancer risks, endometriosis, etc)
Pregnancy and abortion have both historically been used to punish or manipulate partners
If a woman is sterilized and does change her mind, her only options are surrogacy, IVF (I think), or adoption, all of which are extremely expensive and tie everyone up with money and legal paperwork
With those things in mind, it is extremely difficult to find a provider who will refer or perform the procedure for a woman under the age of 30 who does not already have at least one child, regardless of whether there is a partner in the picture. After age 30, pregnancies are considered “geriatric pregnancies” and as a woman ages, the overall health and complication risks of the mother and the baby increase, rising every year that goes by.
But there is also simply a lot of discourse that does not happen around women’s health, as many fields of medicine are male dominated. It is assumed that “maternal instinct” will blossom and overwhelm every girl such that our desires to put a family on hold or to never have kids in favor of careers or getting to have a marriage time without co-parenting or to learn who we are as people outside of motherhood or marriage are not taken seriously at all. While (mostly) well meaning because of the reasons above, medical providers and lawmakers are just “saving us from ourselves” without truly seeing our humanity nor us as equals
The medical system treats women as potential mothers before they treat them as people.
You have to fight to get sterilized because what if you, or more importantly your husband, wants kids in the future????
Nevermind that men can get a vasectomy with very little fanfare and they’re not as reversible as we tout them to be.
I know a junkie jailbird who has had three children by three different junkie men, lives mostly in jail, children being raised by welfare Queen grandma, who asked to have her tubes tied and they still wouldn’t do it.
My ex-husband asked for a vasectomy and received it immediately. Society, not just doctors, is overly concerned with women who don’t want children.
In my opinion very sexist and paternalistic.
In the US, my mother was an adult before she could get a credit card in her own name without my father signing off on it.
I have been vocal with my doctors about wanting to be sterilized since I was like, sixteen, because I was absolutely positive I never wanted children. I also have lived in various parts of the South my entire life. I’m 32 and I only just secured my bisalp appointment for next month.
I understand a doctor not sterilizing a minor (as frustrating as it was for me then), but you’d think once I’d turned 21 or 25, it would be a much easier time of it. Nope! I had to specifically seek out a practitioner down here who was willing to overlook the fact that I’m young, single, and have no kids, all because I apparently haven’t known my own mind for nearly two decades now. Some of us are just not here to give birth and raise children. I wish the rest of society would catch up.
There’s definitely some sexism at play here. There’s an assumption that a woman’s “biological clock” will start ticking one day and they will deeply regret the decision later in life. It’s assumed that men lack this maternal instinct and they won’t regret it later. Obviously this is a fairly antiquated and sexist view of things where a woman’s primary purpose in society is seen as a child/bearer.
A vasectomy is a lot easier to reverse and a less invasive procedure to be sure so there is a thread of medical justification but it is more based off the belief that women will regret it one day. I had a friend who had debilitating endometriosis and had long since decided she wanted a hysterectomy. She had no desire to have children and was pretty clear that even if she did, she would want to adopt because she had numerous congenital issues that she wouldn’t want to pass onto a child. It still took her years of switching doctors to find one that agreed to do it and still wanted to wait until she turned 30.
Yet they seem to have no problem lopping off perfectly healthy breasts or penises/testes…
It can be like that for men too. I had a male friend who was dead set on never having kids in his early 20s, and he wanted to get a vasectomy but was unable to. I guess I can understand why doctors would want to make sure a patient really does want this sort of thing before committing to it, but I do also think that patients should be able to make that choice when they are ready. I think what we need is a more defined set of steps for doctors and patients to follow when initiating something like this. Ideally, this could allow more people access to those procedures if they want them, and it would take doctors out of the position of making a judgement call about whether a patient might change their mind in the future.
It’s misogyny. I “joked” about wanted to get my tubes tied back in like 2020 to a doctor and she started screaming at me to never say that again or she’d drop me as a patient. This is because she believed it was wrong and a moral failing for a woman to not want children.
Jokes on her, had a hysterectomy this February and have never felt better
Sadly it can be hard for men, too.
When my husband went to get a vasectomy 20 years ago, he came home with a permission slip that I had to sign before the doc would do it.
I was outraged on his behalf! Grown adults DO NOT need permission from another adult to do anything to their own body.
Turns out the doc had been sued by a wife for performing one without the wife’s permission and she inexplicably won the court case, so now his insurance requires the doc to get permission. Disgusting!!
I signed it under protest with a strongly worded note.
Every human being should be able to get sterilized on demand.
We gotten have them wage slaves for the meat grinder
FWIW I had to get my wife’s sign off for my vasectomy. I know not everyone has to do this, and I think it’s ridiculous that women or men cannot request a medical procedure they want for some theoretical future situation.
People just seem to really struggle with the concept of women not really wanting to be mothers. So even if you express that you are childfree, they will still insist it is just a temporary thing because they can’t wrap their head around a woman who is just not very maternal.
It really depends on the doctor and sometimes you have to basically shop around to find one that will do it. I feel extremely fortunate that the first doctor I asked respected my decision and just went ahead with it. Best decision I ever made and I have never regretted it.
You see, women are helpless children who will do stupid things and need protection against their own stupidity.
If a doctor just let them have a surgery all Willy-nilly because of a stupid reason such as “they don’t want children” or “they aren’t physically capable of safely carrying a pregnancy to term” it might take away her husband’s choice! (/s)
My late sibling tried for sterilization in their early 30s. No doctor would do it without a husband’s approval despite already having a child. Southern doctors are something special.
It’s literally just sexism. They think you are making a poor decision and they know better, so try to prevent you from doing it (because every woman feels the call to motherhood eventually /j) or they infantalize you for being a woman so you aren’t able to properly make decisions for yourself (hence why as soon as they have your husband’s permission they give the greenlight).
Because ob/gyns need to give the okay and they seem to think our highest goal in life is to become pregnant. I know someone who suffered from endometriosis. She walked around with it for years. Im pretty sure she would have been helped way earlier if she wouldve just said she struggled with getting pregnant. I have an aunt who has two kids and suffered from very heavy crippling periods. They wouldn’t remove her uterus because “what if you want more kids?” Lots of Ob/gyns seem to focus on the OB part, not on the GYN part.
Also when i asked mine if he could yeet mine out, I got asked “well do you have a partner who wants kids?” I said I do and he doesn’t. And he he does decide he wants to, he needs to find another partner. “Hmm complicated”. Fuck all the way off. It’s nothing more than infantilizing women
Edit: OP, if you want a sterilisation, the Childfree sub has a worldwide list of doctors people on that sub have had great experiences with
“Because their husband now or later might want to use their womb.
Because we are not seen as fully capable, adult human beings.
Newsflash: if we’re old enough to decide to have a baby (one that was deliberately conceived. I’m not talking about any other use cases. Straight up deciding to become a parent and deliberately setting out to get pregnant.), then we’re damn well old enough to decide we DON’T want to be parents.
I had to wait until I was 44 to get my goddamn tubes removed. Even then, the obgyn looked at me and goes, “you know this is permanent, right?”
Bitch what? I’m in fucking perimenopause. I don’t fucking want to get pregnant at this point in my life. My marriage is falling apart, I’m in my mid-40s, and you still can’t give it a fucking rest, can you? Jesus fucking christ.
Yes, I know it is permanent. That was rather the goddamn point. I don’t want to worry that I won’t be able to get another shot or IUD and I’ll end up with a frog child. I’m too old (obviously not physically, not yet. Menopause ain’t here just yet.), and too high risk. Yeet those fuckers.
Also the surgery is more complex than the comparatively simpler snip men get. I had a laparscopic surgery. Tubes out on a Tuesday morning, was fucked up from the anaesthesia until Saturday, no lifting anything for 2 weeks, and a VERY angry uterus and hefty cramping for several weeks. (Had a shiny new Mirena installed for fibroid control). Plus a seven month wait to get the surgery done.
I do know men who have been sterilized and they don’t seem to complain about these roadblocks?
It’s not. I am gyne and sterilized a 27 year old last week after careful counseling. You need to find the right provider.
I actually had a really nice experience with my doctor! I’m 31 and no kids. He just explained the procedure to me and offered a uterine ablation as well so no more periods. He did not question my choice at all. I was actually super overwhelmed by his kindness and accepting my choice with no question that I started crying at the end of my consult. Dr Abraham Ichinoe if anyone in Vegas wants this procedure. I’m scheduled for a bisalp and ablation May 22nd!
I had asked multiple times throughout my 20s and was always told no. I eventually got a progressive gp who was willing to refer me to an ob who believed in women’s bodily autonomy.
He made me come see him on three separate occasions to ask me three separate times if I was sure I didn’t want kids. He said he wanted three separate days worth of chart notes and didn’t care if it was three days in a row or three months in a row. So, I saw him every Friday for three weeks and got approved for surgery. I had the surgery in Feb of this year. I am 38.
The surgery was a whole day process, had to meet with an anesthesiologist prior to going into the surgery room, was given an IV, intubated, and then spent two and a half hrs coming off the anaesthesia in the recovery bay. It was a long process.
I would say the issue is primarily that they don’t believe women when they say they won’t change their minds and also because its a much more complicated procedure and recovery process for a bilateral than getting a vasectomy.
My dad got a vasectomy after my parents were done having kids and he spent a day on the couch and was back at life the next day.
I had two weeks in steri strips, painful air bubbles trapped in my shoulders for ten days that wouldn’t dissipate, and my stomach was disdended for a week.
After years of complaining to my ob-gyn and just being told to “suck it up, it’s a woman’s lot in life” I gave up. I had no insurance, and no one wanted to give me their time without it. Two years ago I finally got insured and went to a new doctor. It took her a matter of hours to diagnose me with severe endometriosis and set me up for emergency surgery. I have no regrets about my full hysterectomy, I do not miss the pain. Fun little tid bit, the endo traveled to my bladder as well, so it’s still not perfect. If doctors had taken me seriously from the start it may not have gotten this bad.
I have 3 kids and almost died in labor with my last child. I begged the doctor to tie my tubes after the cesarean, he told me he needed to ask my husbands PERMISSION. In this day and age. Seriously??
Lawsuits.
Because it’s hard for women to do anything. We’re not seen as equals to men.
Multiple reasons.
The medical reason for hesitation is that for women it’s significant surgery in which the abdomen needs to be opened. Lots of organs are there and the risk of complications is many times higher than it is for men getting sterilized.
Another reason is, that for women getting sterilized is irreversible. There is no way to do anything about it while male sterilization can be reversed.
These are the fairly logical things to consider, however surgery is still often denied or heavily gatekept from women even if it is completely medically necessary or explicitely wanted. The answer why that happens is that people are assholes, even doctors. I’ve been floored more than once about absolutely logical medical procedures being denied to me for no good reason other than that some little bitch who shouldn’t be working with people ever, chose to work with people. Those weren’t procedures on reproductive organs, in fact they all were much simpler like treating excrutiating pain, but listening to countless stories from women who met patronizing cretins and did’t get the help they needed, I’m more than 100% sure these doctors aren’t any different than mine.
I once went to the doctor with my boyfriend bc he was really sick and needed me there and I was so surprised how easy he just got help. Like, he just went there and…got helped? No arguing that the pain was real, no listening to “we will have to wait a week, see if it improves” – just none of the bullshit. I wanted to cry.
Misogyny.
For centuries, the stereotype has been that a woman’s highest calling is motherhood, that her partner got to decide on when they had sex and when they had kids. Women who could not or did not have children were called lacking. Women who remained celibate or unmarried were called old maids
A lot of people view sterilization as taking away from a woman’s femininity. They believe that all women will be upset if they cannot have kids in the future, that they are doing us a favor by making those choices for us
I really have no idea and i have no idea why feminism isnt going after this the way they did with the wage gap and #metoo
I also didnt know that death/ injury were risks during pregnancy and during birth, this should be talked about way more
Because the man (current or future) might want her to have his (or more of his) children. And goodness gracious me we can’t let a woman have control over her own body when a man might want to use her as an incubator.
A good friend of mine desperately wanted to get her tubes tied after 2 sets of twins (the second set with life threatening complications). Newp. She was told her husband may want more children or she might end up with someone else who would want children. So they wouldn’t do it until she was essentially the age of a very high risk pregnancy. Her own desire to not have any more children didn’t factor into things at all.
This was over a decade ago though. So I would hope things have changed. Although women having control over their reproductive organs seems to not be in favor in the US. So who knows.
It’s about what the man, whether there is one in the picture or not, may want, not the woman.
Married woman – “Your husband may want kids/more kids in the future,”
Single woman -“What if your future husband wants kids?”
Under 30 or 3 kids – ” You may want kids/more kids in the future”
My sister, when she wanted it done. She had 2 kids before she was 23. They used all the classic reasons to deny, but the last one was why she ended up with 3. All her kids were conceived while on birth control.
sexism
Because people still think that breeding is our only purpose in life, even though you can still be nurturing and motherly and feminine without giving birth.
For me it’s a hell of “but what if you change your mind?” And “you must be confused, you’ll want children later” by doctors.
Your answer is in your question.
>Why is it such a challenge for young women to get their tubes tied?
Because they are young. Young people often change their minds.
Easiest answer, I can give you is because misogyny exists.
I’ve heard countless accounts from friends of mine that I’ve already had children that wanted to have their tubes tied that were denied because the doctor said oh but your husband might want another child. No my body I say no.
“But you might want kids one day…” it’s the thinking that women must have children and that their sole purpose in life is to have kids. I have a rare genetic disorder and sterilization wasn’t even a talking point when I went to genetic counseling. The doctors only spoke of genetic testing and aborting a fetus that was abnormal. I don’t want kids. I’d like to adopt but I’m not going to have my own biological children. It’s too big of a minefield. But I’m too young and “might change my mind” according to doctors.
Because it’s a woman’s greatest honour to provide her husband with children, of course. /s
I asked to be sterilized at 25 and was literally told no because my future husband may want children. Like, fuck you, I’m telling you I don’t ever want children right now.
Because men rule the world.
Because forced sterilization is not that long behind us. The documentary No Más Bebés discusses the forced sterilization of Latina women in California in the 1970s – women who were in extreme amounts of pain or on very high amounts of pain medication or didn’t read or speak much English who were pressured into signing documents they didn’t understand and received immediate tubal ligations that they didn’t want. These practices are what led to current laws about how long you must wait between first getting an appointment to discuss getting sterilized and then actually getting the procedure done. Now, this doesn’t explain all reluctance towards sterilization – misogyny does some of it, too – but many of the practices in place to delay immediate sterilization are in an attempt to give the patient time to think it over and, more importantly, time to look up and translate anything they didn’t understand.
Medical misogyny, and the pervasive cultural belief that women are for having children