I am 28. I am not attractive nor ugly I am not tall nor short (5’10) and unfortunately on the skinny side (135 lbs and I have been told by my parents that women dont see me as someone who can protect them). I dress clean and ironed and always wear cologne. I am not someone that let’s himself go in any way. I dont drink any alcohol and live a clean lifestyle.
I want to date women and invite them on such dates but they turn me down. This makes me asked the question will I ever be desirable. Will there be any woman out there who will say – I want to sleep with him. As a sexual being myself I have sexual desire towards women (unfortunately since I am not having any I think about it too muc) but also egotistically want them to desire me.
There are so many songs written by women on love (I am listening to one know with the lyrics saying – I want him to love me and no one else) and I ask will I ever be the protagonist. Will I ever be wanted, desired, will there be someone who will wait for me from work or will I continue to come home to an empty apartment.
I understand I am expected to chase women and do so (unsuccessfully). But then a part of me wants to be sure that the woman likes me and doesn’t see me as a pest of sorts.
How to start believing I am attractive to women? I don’t want to become a full of himself ass that thinks every woman wants him yet I want to believe in myself which is hard considering it (desire) was never in my direction.
Edit: There might have been a language barrier there by cologne I mean perfume – Givenchy to be exact.
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would you want you if you were the opposite sex? are you interesting, fun, caring, fit, have whatever else makes people like other people? if not, focus on yourself and work on yourself, not women
My uncle was 1,62 m short, bald, light weighted after almost dying in a war lazarette. He was bad looking, but his eyes lighted up a room. He was super funny and taught us ancient history. He knew so many stories and could tell them well. He married a super pretty young woman and bought her all the dresses and jewelry because he got richer and richer every year as an attorney.
Looks are not as important to women as they are important to men.
Look at all the ugly men who have a partner. They are rich or funny. Or both.
All men have to think they’re handsome, otherwise there would be no children to carry on.
Self confidence, poise, humour oh yeah and good haircut and clothes help
Instead of thinking in terms of "every woman says no so I’m not desirable to any woman," try "I haven’t asked the right person out yet."
Women are individuals with vastly different preferences, availability, goals, and dreams. There are tons of reasons someone may turn down a date, and most of them aren’t "he’s too ugly." Your best bet is live life for yourself, not a woman, and appreciate the bonus of partnership when you come across the right person.
Is your goal to get any woman, a certain woman, the most women, or the best woman for you?
For what it’s worth, my husband was built almost exactly like you describe when we met. I was far less attracted to him physically then than I am now. I felt like some meat on his bones did him a lot of good. But even back in the beginning when he was built like a bundle of sticks, I was crazy attracted to that guy. It didn’t have much to do with the way that his body was built. It had much more to do with the connection that we had together, the way that he treated me, the way that he looked at me and the electricity in the room when we were together. None of that ever changed. It just got stronger. And he became more attractive to me physically over time. 25 years later I still can’t get enough of him. But the bulk of my attraction for him at the beginning had everything to do with who he was and not so much what he looked like.
You are under the illusion that the only thing that attracts women is physical attractiveness.
You need to start thinking about what you bring to the table other than looks that could be attractive to a woman. Are you kind? Funny? Interesting to talk to? Being attractive may get you initial interest, but it won’t get you a second date.
Let me ask you this: What do you look for in a woman? Say you go on a date. What would make that a good date?
I’ll tell you one thing that is very unattractive: self-pity.
Stop wearing cologne and start hitting on below- average-looking women who have some attractive features as far as you are concerned. Turn it into a numbers game. Once you find someone to date, be yourself, but put yourself first. Then gradually warm up to her if you like her. The more masculine you act, the more interested she will get. Take it from there. Rinse and repeat as many times as necessary. Best wishes!🍀.
Be a good friend and stop romanticizing. Women are people.
I was tall and skinny and never thought of myself as being particularly good looking. I got turned down a lot and it’s a ball buster.
But then I realized that I has a type (self serious and kind of repressed) and that those kinds of girls don’t like smart asses/class clown guys like me. They preferred self serious slightly repressed guys.
Go figure.
So maybe it’s not you! Maybe you’re just asking out girls who aren’t into you or what type of guy they perceive you to be.
Go fourth, and just start asking girls out. You’ll find one who digs you for who you are and once one girl finds you attractive, others will too.
Stop with the cologne.
Trust me. Only teenage boys believe in its magic. Everyone else gags.
Once you do that, women will throw them themselves at you, guaranteed.
Focus more on how to spontaneously engage women in interesting and charming conversation. Don’t do it for dates and don’t be weird. Simply learn to talk casually in upbeat, confident fashion.
You’ll easily notice later which would likely date you. Don’t rush into any of that. Be a real person. The rest will come.
Do this regularly, until it becomes easy.
Be nice, be kind, be funny, be smart. Those are the things that attract worthwhile women.
What’s stopping you from gaining muscle mass? It will be pretty quick too based on your weight.
Women should be your last priority. You are the prize. Bro, they are nothing special not even the 10s. Nobody owes us anything women. At the end of the day the numbers game works.
I would add onto what others have said look for group activities where you can meet women with similar interests in a casual unpressured way. There’s a website called MeetUp that facilitates this. You can also try Speed dating events or Paint and Sips for singles.
About cologne- a little goes a long way. Too many guys splash it on like water. Just dab a couple spots with a finger tip. You should also know that if a woman doesn’t like your cologne it will be a barrier to attraction. So it could go either way.
This reminds me of the wonderful Mae West quote, "I never cry over a lost love as I’ll catch the next one with my smile."
Watch some Abraham Hicks on YT.
This sounds too focused on sex.
Make friends. With enough friends the likelihood of finding more greatly increases. "Friends" accepts more variety than just wanting free sex
This means doing things you like to do or care about by joining groups that do those things. Some things are hard to find groups for (like everything I like to do), but broaden you parameters. There are board game groups and volunteering groups of many kinds. There are sports groups and walking groups. Find those that you like, meet people and just be happy.
The happier you are with yourself (not physically attractive, deeper personality traits) the more attractive you will be. Especially since you have the clean, groomed and pressed part down. It does matter and I’m glad you already did it!
I guarantee there are plenty of women out there that would be interested. If you want an instagram influencer looking women you are out of luck, they don’t even look like their filtered tik tok’s and insta’s. Join some clubs, get to know real women. With your focus so heavily on your own looks is that the driving force about how you pick a women to ask out?
Make some female friends and learn that women are people first, a woman 2nd. If you learn just that much women will like you. If you want a pretty pet too stroke you are 💩 out of luck because only gross alpha boys get those kind of pick me girls – and end up divorced in less than a decade.
My first suggestion would be to stop wearing cologne. Many women don’t like it. And the ones that do….usually help their guy choose one.
Are you social? Do you have coed hobbies? You’ll never convince yourself that women will like you if you doubt yourself first.
Love songs are written to sell music.
As a long time woman here, take off the cologne. Nothing more repulsive than cologne on a man.
And the 2 choices in your post are not your only options. Go out and be social. Make friends. Your appeal will increase as others see that you are kind, friendly, and interesting to be around. Stop being so desperate.
Your problem is confidence.
Hit the gym, eat right. You’ll feel better, feel more confident and in turn will be more desired. You have to love yourself before anyone else can. Learnt that one the hard way.
Work on your personal confidence, consider joining clubs, or volunteering in places where women might also socialize. Look at women as humans and friends only, and maybe something will come your way, but desperation shows if "scoring" is your only goal . Get some honest friends to help coach you with clothing/fashion and conversational skills, start watching relationship videos, listen to podcasts, be pleasant, smile with your eyes, and maybe build up some weight (lift weights). Ask people you know to fix you up.
You’re only describing your appearance and you keep saying “will a woman want me,” then you say, “will a woman want to sleep with me?” And “egotistically I want women to want me.”
It’s hard to not read that as, “I’m not ugly, why won’t a woman fuck me?” Which is shallow, a flaw in thinking, and of questionable intention. You even admit that part of this is your ego. Women will pick up on these things and be put off by it. Generally, women need to be psychologically attracted to a man to want to have sex with him. Ego, being shallow, and being concerned with just sex is not a personality type that will mentally turn a woman on.
As a pilot that was expected to provide dates to passengers, my humble advice is if you are not satisfied with being single and not bound by a religion or on a deserted island, the biggest tip is to learn to observe. Watch Dr. Phil. Watch Judge Judy. The kinds of women on these shows are to be avoided and you don’t want to be the kind of man that appears on these shows, either. If you just want to lose whatever stage you call your current position, buy a bottle of Everclear, rent a room at a Knights Inn or Super 8. Tape a $50 to your room window and the world will turn. Or tape a $20 on your forehead and walk around a truck stop located close to a motel. If you want a MILF or College girl, try dog parks or a gym closest to a college, middle morning. Bars closest to the airport or Hilton hotel bars, early evening. Hi end hotels have concierges; strip clubs have bouncers-they can hook you up, too. If you want a relationship and get a bit more serious, try bars at hi-dollar hotels near airports, hospitals, golf courses, dog parks or colleges. The next rung are health clubs and gyms in the same upscale locales. It is far better to look for a date at these kinds of places instead of a biker bar next to a crack house. Also, volunteer at libraries, country clubs, hospitals, or geriatric venues and befriend older people–if you are not interested in them, then they will hook you up with their kids/friends if you come across as a "catch". Once you date people at different stages in life, a pattern emerges. Learn, adapt, overcome. Life is what YOU make it. If you make no attempt at progression, the dirt gets shoveled in all the same.
Dude there is no accounting for taste. Work on your personality. You will be fine.
I’m sorry you are dealing with this. Back in my dating days, as a woman, I dealt with this too. I was in the military as an officer so was fit, confident and nice-looking. My choosing skills sucked, though or I’d get "You’re too_________ (fill in the blank). "You’re too fit, thin, smart, intimidating (because of my job)"… it seemed like any decent adjective was a crime! I took three years off from actually dating or looking and worked on myself. I did therapy. I took classes to enhance my mind, meet people and gain confidence. I got braces on my teeth and did a lot of self care. I felt liberated because I wasn’t waiting by the phone or wondering what was wrong. I got my braces off, got me a cool new wardrobe, cut my hair into an edgy style and went places to meet men. My goal was to meet and greet, chat amiably and then move on. I had also moved to a new town. It was awesome. In fact, that’s how I met my husband. To this day, he still remembers what I wore, on our first date.
revise your selection criteria, you could be making a mate value mismatch. there are women out there who are in the same boat. find one. maybe reduce the the cologne level a little.. 😉
There are a lot of women out there feeling the same way you do, and wondering if they’ll ever meet someone special. It could be you. Open your eyes, and your heart, and stop feeling down on yourself.
Is it possible you have a "type" that you ask out? Do you have a pattern you need to break? Are you going after the ladies who like bad boys? Guys with lots of tats? They like guys who are bulked up, athletic looking? Women who are looking for flash and money? Examine what your attraction is, and maybe you can tweak it a little. Or tweak yourself to be what they are seeking.
I really don’t think the problem is what you look like. It’s that those you are attracted to are not attracted to you. That’s not to say you will never find someone. It just means you have narrowed down the field, and that will require a longer, more difficult search. Kiss a lot of toads, so to speak.
There is a guaranteed way of becoming more social, meeting more people, and impressing them: start a group.
Pick an activity where you feel most comfortable and feel you will have the best chance of getting to know people beyond the superficial, then start your own Facebook group or Meetup group.
It can be something like a board games group, or urban walks, a book club, a sci-fi movie group, a cycling group, a French language exchange, a market visiting food sharing collective or a group for fun activities in your local area.
When you start the group, everyone pays attention to the group leader, so you have the advantage of the attention. Then it’s time to let your personality shine and make friends of both sexes. The more friends you make, the more relaxed you will be and the better chance you have of finding the right person for you.
It doesn’t have to be a large group – the more niche the better – just one with people who enjoy doing what you enjoy. Maybe set some basic rules and always be responsible and respectful of your group members.
Have fun!
Ever watch The Red Green Show , he has a line that goes – "If the women don’t find you handsome, they should at least find you handy " . I don’t get all the girls maybe 50% 🤔 I’m pretty mechanical inclined and it’s given me quite a few hookups , which of course is different than Love . I mean you just never know when it’s going to hit . I was at The Pool Supply Store and there was this very elegant dressed lady ahead of me . I spoke up and said hello that’s a great outfit you’re wearing and it fits you quite well , could I offer to put the chlorine jugs in your car so as to not possibly ruin your outfit . She turned around with a bit of a blank look at first and then kinda sized me up and said why thank you that would be most appreciated. . She than thanked me for the compliment on her outfit saying it indeed was one of her favorites , says she was running a couple errands and remembered the pool jugs were in the car , not even thinking about her outfit as it’s not something she would normally wear to pick up chlorine. We chatted at her car for a couple minutes about like the weather, I said I need to get going and she thanked me again . I ran into her about 20 minutes later in the production section of grocer next door and I said hey you’re not stalking me are you ? She kinda smiled and says I thought it was the other way around. She was having trouble picking out a pineapple . I told her to avoid the brown ones as they are already over ripe , if she was going to be using it right away or in a couple days to look for a Golden One as they are prefect , and the dark green ones will be ok if you let them sit for like a week . She glanced at my cart and saw several frozen dinners and says those can’t taste all that good . I explained I was rapping up a project the next couple days and would be burning the midnight oil and really wouldn’t have time for all that cooking & cleaning. She then says do you like Salmon? I said of course love it , she then says well would you plz be my dinner guest tonight. Sadly I lost her after 11 yrs to Cancer , man what a Great Lady !!!
Try to make friends with women and work on being a good friend first. Or try finding hobbies
My husband is 5′ 8", and his height was not a deficit at all. He has a great personality and that’s why we are still together 31 years later. He’s attractive AF to me. Our daughter said "idk dad looks like any average white guy to me" and my husband and myself are still laughing about it.
Being average is not bad whatsoever. Character is!
The funny thing to me is that there are many people feeling just as you are but you never meet because people are seeking society’s expectations for attractiveness. People look at the exterior as opposed to the interior. My story: I had a list for my prospective mates criteria. He had to be over 6 feet, college educated, musical build, gainfully employed, have his own car, residence, and of course kind, romantic, have integrity, spiritual etc. well my husband of 25 years has integrity, is spiritual, kind, etc but is 5’9”, dad bod, not college educated but worked a consistent job and worked his way up to management level, he lived in his sister’s basement and didn’t have a vehicle. Today, we have kids who we put through college, a house, vehicles, are debt free, go on very nice vacations every year and have fun and laugh a lot. It’s not a perfect relationship but it’s darned good. He became my friend, as we got to know each other the attraction grew. We were married within 9 months of officially dating. 25 years later, here we are.
Ditch the cologne. Some women may like it, but many won’t. Just be clean and well groomed. You are very thin and could probably bulk up a bit by increasing the protein in your diet and lifting weights.
It’s possible that you are fishing in the wrong ponds, so to speak. My uncle died alone in his old age because he insisted on chasing after a type of woman who simply didn’t see him as her type. (He was just a regular guy, but he was attracted to really high-maintenance, borderline sugar babies.)
Make yourself likeable. Be light and fun. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Learn how to be a gentle flirt without being creepy. Lift some weights. Be interested in women and don’t worry so much about yourself. Eventually you’ll meet someone. Keep trying!
Why do you limit yourself to only those 2 choices ?
Get out of your Head !
Many women respond to honest confidence. Confidence doesn’t mean being an alpha ass.
And drop the colognes and perfumes. Many women I know are repulsed by toxic synthetic fragrances. Try pure Essential Oils instead.
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If you are an introvert, maybe even a bit of a nerd, you might be conciddered by some as awkward. It is not so much physical attractiveness for more mature minds, as it is social and mate compatibleness. Look into groups where your interests could match.
Desire and passion grow from being compatible. If you want to be "The One" you have to behave like "the One". Meaning look beyond the physical..An intelligent mind is much sexier than just a body and lasts a lot longer and that counts both ways..
Take it from a gal who dated and went to bed with lots of guys who weren’t rich, weren’t Adonis, didn’t drive a cool car, and didn’t have expensive clothes: those aren’t the things that attract any woman worth having in your life. You’ll attract shallow gold-diggers that way, but is that what you want?
What turns me on every time is a guy who is smart and can talk about intelligent things. If he can’t tell me anything I don’t already know or inspire me to think about things in a way I hadn’t previously considered, I’m bored. He has to be kind and make me feel safe without making me feel smothered, as in "You need help? No? Okay. You know how to find me." I like a guy who listens, really listens when I talk, instead of coming at me with a lot of preconceived notions. A woman can like makeup, fashion, high heels, camping, changing her own tires and snaking out her own drains.
The biggest turn on of all is being able to make someone laugh. I knew I’d met the love of my life when we went on a zoo date and by the end of it I was laughing so hard I was in tears!
So work on being interesting and fun to be around. Not fun in an obnoxious, juvenile way, either. I mean clever and witty. Find someone whose clever sense of humor always makes you smile and try to emulate them.
Nearly all the men I ever went out with were ones I met through group activities such as being fellow residents of share houses (or friends of the other residents), attending evening classes for things I was interested in, group travel, volunteer groups, interest groups etc. It gave us the chance to get to know each other a little and to get a feeling for if we were attracted to each other, without any pressure. I think it’s also easier to ask someone if they happen to be going – or would like to go – to some event or exhibition that interests both of you, rather than ask them out on what is obviously a date. In which case, if they agree to go to this thing then don’t turn around and treat it like a date. Keep it casual to begin with. I’m not saying that should be everyone’s approach, but it sure worked for me.
A butterfly cannot see its own wings, yet they are beautiful. Look to your strengths. Someone will be watching.
Stop wearing cologne and start treating women like people rather than something to be obtained
r/thepassportbros is where your women awaits
Also women don’t like blabbing like this.
Cut the paragraphs in half.
My brother-in-law was built like you, 5′ 10" and 135 pounds when he and my sister met in college. He had acne and would not be considered attractive by most standards. What attracted my sister was his intellect and his kind personality. They shared much in common, taste in music, educational goals, religious faith, and other mutual interests. They have been happily married for 50 years, with children and grandchildren. He has been a terrific husband, father, and grandfather.
I (male) on the other hand, was considered physically attractive and desirable to women and spent years chasing after the most attractive young ladies at school and college. In the end, I only found myself in relationships with the wrong type of women, based purely on physical attractiveness. After a string of failed relationships and a broken marriage, I found myself alone, with no real love, no spouse, no children or grandchildren, a lonely old man. Don’t be like me.
Stay humble, be patient, and keep working on your best qualities. Love will find you when you stop searching. If you dwell on the issue of finding a mate, you may appear desperate, an unattractive quality. Be confident in your value as a good person, which is a much more attractive quality, and happiness will find you.
Best wishes.
From how you describe yourself, you are likely either
or
Get to know as many women as you can in a non-romantic social way. Get comfortable talking with them as people, not as potential romantic partners
Personally I never gave 2 hoots about looks. I wanted a husband who was honest, hardworking, funny, loyal, kind, faithful, and took care of themselves. We also needed to be on the same page about money and housework. My suggestion to you is to put yourself out there: go to church, volunteer, join a cooking club, join a reading club, find a group that runs, find a group that rides bikes, go to the gym, or something. You get the idea, but you need to find a way to meet new people. If you still have problems, ask a buddy to be brutally honest with you about why girls don’t want to date you. Best wishes!
OK. You have got to get yourself off line. This isn’t healthy. Nothing is less attractive than self-pity.
Go somewhere where there are a lot of people and watch them. Really look. Stop the pity party and really look. Look at the people who are coupled. Some of them are attractive, right? But some of them aren’t. Some people are married and downright physically ugly by my standards. And yet, they have love.
Some people are mean and have love. Some people are shy and have love. Really look. They are everywhere.
The problem is not that you’re ugly, nor that you’re shy or quiet, or "too nice," or not social enough. The problem is that you’re depressed, and I’m guessing that you spend a lot of time judging women instead of getting to know them.
Have you tried asking a woman out who seems interested in you? Or do you just ask the same, made-up, model-looking 3% of women that look a certain way? I’ve found that almost ALL men who complain that they asked women out and the woman said no were asking the same tired women for a date. Yes – tired. They are tired of being approached all the time because they have a certain look. You don’t want to be judged for your looks. Why are you judging other people? Are you thinking that you’ll be less depressed and happier if people think that you’re the kind of guy who can get certain kind of woman? That says things about you – it says that you are looking to lean on the woman for your self esteem, instead of having self-esteem that comes from within. And that is another massive turn-off. Women don’t want to be your prop. They aren’t there just to make you feel good. You need to go feel good on your own. Then, and only then will you attract someone who can love you.
> This makes me asked the question will I ever be desirable. Will there be any woman out there who will say – I want to sleep with him.
Being desirable isn’t about that. It’s about being interested to the woman you have in front of you as a whole human being and not a means to fulfil your emotional and physical needs.
A lot of people here said "be interesting". I say be interested and you’ll become interesting. Ask open questions. Be curious. Look for shared interests. Before engaging, ask yourself why you’d want to spend time with every individual prospect. Answering this will inform you on how to engage with them. Sex is not enough. Show that you’ve read the goddamn profile in your opening lines.
Live a life that will leave you with tons of anecdotes, dating aside. The more you are well-lived, the more you can find points of connection with others. Go to therapy if you have to. Self awareness is sexy.
Don’t listen to the manosphere bros.
Finally, the biggest thing guys underestimate is how risky it is to women to meet with strangers. Men are afraid to be rejected; women are afraid to get killed. Be a safe person from the first contact to the last. Loose the "want to get laid so bad" energy.
Drop the cologne. Seriously.
I’m an average looking guy but I was in a very large social circle that was throwing some party or another every day of the week. Bigger ones at least once a week. I didn’t ask women out. I never dated like you’re expecting where you go out to dinner like it’s a job interview. Folks gravitated toward each other. I knew who was kinda into me and vice versa. Occasionally a new friend turned into more very quickly.
It’s not complicated. Be fun to be around.
I have never understood being with a guy for ‘protection’?!? If I want protection, I’ll buy a guard dog.
I’d suggest developing a group of social friends first, guys and gals. Try to see them just as human beings & being a good friend in your group. You’ll get much more realistic social feedback & better sense of yourself too. With better self esteem, you’re more likely to find someone whose a good match.
Story time warning.
One of my childhood buddies was only about 5′ 7", legally blind, crippled from juvenile arthritis and kind of ugly.
He always had great looking girlfriends and both of his wives were attractive too. He was the funniest joke and story teller I ever knew.
My point is that somebody out there would love to be with you. What’s between your ears mainly attracts partners worth having, not your physical attributes. I have multiple birth defects and celebrated 35 years of bliss last year.
She’s out there. Go find her.
Also: rest easy Rick.
Might not be a popular opinion but after decades of trying and getting the worst results I met this really good beautiful woman.
I managed to get her out on a date. Trouble was she hadn’t thought about it that way. She asked if I minded if she could have a second drink and I said I’d really hoped she wouldn’t (definitely a lightweight) and when she asked why I said I really liked her and would like to have our first kiss be sober. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, “NEVER”. I said ok np and afterwards we walked around a little bit and she said she needed to go home. I extended my hand and said it was nice to have met her and good luck to her. She got a confused look on her face and said we’d see each other around and I said no I didn’t think so. But I thought we could be FRIENDS, we all love being friends right? I said I had no interest in being friends.
That was almost 14 years ago. A year ago I was diagnosed with cancer and she has been by my side nursing me back to health. She wanted someone who knew what they wanted. She wanted honesty and respect. Tbh, she wasn’t completely sure what else she wanted but she decided a couple of weeks later it was me.
I think directness and clear statements really helped. That being said I wouldn’t recommend saying, “you’re hot and I want you to have my babies”. But having a little humor and self confidence goes a long way.
My husband is 5’10”. When I first met him he was very thin but in shape. I didn’t think he was my type but he was persistent and after a while I realized he was my type. I had just been accustomed to bad boys and he was not a bad boy. He was very polite and sweet. It didn’t take me long to realize, chasing after bad boys is not what I wanted to do for the rest of my life We have been marred for almost 34 years.
My dude. You are right on the verge of incel territory but you’re NOT THERE YET. Stop worrying about finding someone to sleep with and look for someone to spend time with.
My husband was not conventionally attractive when we met and TBH, neither of us are now. That’s not why I said yes to him.
He is kind, and caring, and generous. He spent time getting to know me and doing things we both enjoyed, together. He listens to me and and supports me- emotionally, not just financially. He’s the best friend I’ve ever had.
This October will be our 32nd anniversary. And I think he’s sexy af.
I’m short and average looking and have been married to a beautiful woman for twenty-five years. The only thing you should be doing is being yourself. You probably stand a better chance of attracting women being thin rather than obese.
Maybe look places where women will share similar interests. Once my wife and I started to date we both saw that we both loved the outdoors and camping. Even twenty-five years later we still do those things.
My wife and I had similar interests such as above plus we’re Christian’s. I love kids and had custody of my two when we met. She also loves kids and we have a daughter together.
Don’t compromise just to find someone.
First, join a gym and consider working out with a trainer to start. There are multiple benefits:
Pursue some hobbies/activities that you can do with others. The goal is to make yourself appealing as a companion who is fun to spend time with.
Also, your post reads like you are mostly focused on finding a woman who will have sex with you. Women can pretty easily detect if that’s all you care about and will judge you to be a creep. I think you need to dial it back a bit. Start by just trying to find someone who enjoys spending time with you and take it from there.