Sometimes the shock of the sentence will make nervous laugh (bad response), or I’ll just say…”that sucks”, I understand it’s a really horrible thing to happen to someone but it doesn’t seem…like the best thing to say I guess when you’re getting to know someone either?
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Honestly, it’s disrespectful for someone to just trauma-dump something like that on someone without warning.
You’re doing everything right. It’s not your responsibility to tactfully handle other people’s trauma.
sometimes there isn’t a best thing to say. Sorry that happened is good enough imo
Yeah, that’s a really tough spot to be in. When someone shares something like that, especially if you don’t know them that well, it can totally catch you off guard. I think the best thing is to just be sincere and keep it simple — something like, “I’m so sorry that happened to you” or “That’s really heavy, thank you for telling me.” You don’t have to have the perfect response, just showing that you care and aren’t brushing it off goes a long way. It’s okay to feel awkward — what matters is being kind and present. Tbf it does kinda suck cuz like you didn’t ask them to share that with you and it does make the convo weird, so it rlly isn’t your fault, just try to say something to comfort them.
It would really depend upon if they had just been molested, or if this is something that happened way way back in their past and they have reported it, been to counselling etc
Consider if there are actions you should be taking, or if this is more about a conversation
Oof that’s a really rough one. The average person can’t help with that, that’s a job for therapy + potential meds.
I guess the polite response would be something along the lines of “im so sorry, are you receiving help for it?”
Trauma dumping isn’t cool, it’s hard to tell from the outside their intentions. Maybe they really wanted to get it off their chest and figured a stranger couldn’t judge them?
I would probably say I’m sorry that happened to you, that isn’t fair.
“Thanks for the trauma dump”
An “I’m sorry, and can I give you a hug?” enough. The hug only comes if you are close.
Why do i get the feeling that you are trauma-dumping in an attempt to be interesting or liked?
“Did ya cum?”
How many random people are telling you they are being molested for you to already have a specific reply set up, and to ask for a better one
I’d just say «I’m sorry that happend» and leave the convo, maybe hint they should talk to a therapist about it like «have you talked to a therapist?» and end the convo shortly after
Seems to me most people are insensitive narcissists. Saying how disrespectful “trauma dumping” is. Shows a total lack of empathy and thought.
If a person tells you that, it means they implicitly trust you for one reason or another. It means they like you.
And it costs you nothing to say that you’re sorry to hear that. Not one red cent. Peeps need to grow up and quit being so sensitive. Or lack thereof.
Say oh that’s terrible. Sorry to hear that.
Finger guns! 👉👉
Sorry to hear that.
Don’t encourage the conversation. You’re not responsible for their issues.
That’s rough buddy
I’m so sorry that happened to you, that is not okay.
I’m sorry that happened to you
Or
I’m sorry you went through that
Also just let them keep talking if it’s not super uncomfortable, they may really need someone to just listen
As they may have not been able to get it out
(depending on situation ik its hard to get past or through it at all)
Kind of ask questions that don’t pry to much like : were you able to tell x family member etc.
It may really help them and also if you may care about them or want to, it may really help you learn about them
And the reasons they do/act a way
Also it’ll help you know what you can or can’t joke about.
As sometimes people say something inappropriate but totally innocent without knowing someones story
Not that SA is funny
Ie once said something about a scene in Texas Chainsaw (shooting)
A friend of mine replied.. that’s probably how my relative looked when they sh*t them self
Had no idea that had happened btw
😱😬
I just say, “I’m sorry that happened to you. “.
“Sorry you had to experience that”
Being abused creates, among other things, a deep sense of isolation. If it were me, I’d probably say something like “Thanks so much for opening up about that, it can’t have been easy. It also sounds like a heck of a lot to have been carrying around; how are you doing emotionally?”. The main thing really is just being a listening ear (if you feel like you’re in a place yourself to be able to do so).
People know therapists exist, and it wouldn’t be fair of anyone to expect you to be theirs. But often it’s not about them seeking solutions or expecting the people they confide in to “fix” anything; sometimes it makes a huge difference to simply be interacting with someone who has some idea of what they’re carrying around, just for the reduction in isolation that it brings. And sometimes opening up to an initial person and have it be a positive experience, can lend them confidence to be able to approach a therapist as a next step.
So yeah, in regards to what to say, my view would be you don’t have to say much. Just let them know it was okay to open up and that you’re there to listen. And also, if you’re not in a place to listen, it’s okay to be open and say that you want to listen but don’t have the capacity to right now due to your own circumstances/pain, and then ask whether they’ve considered opening up to a therapist.
I can’t count on two hands the number of times somebody has randomly told me this. I usually just say “aw shit man I’m so sorry that happened”. Seems adequate but also concerning that it seems to happen so often
You say the same thing you would to some one you knew , show compassion towards them
That’s trauma dumping and it’s not your responsibility to respond to that since you didn’t consent to it. People need to be able to open up about their mental health issues, but it’s not okay to trauma dump, a person should always ask someone first if they’re okay to hear something like that.
Thanks for trusting me with this. I might not be the best person to help you with this but would you like to try and find resources that are better equipped?
A simple google search might at least give a helpline or something that can link a person to help
I get trauma-dumped on all. the. time. by people. People I know, random strangers on the street, it’s… honestly a little disturbing how often it happens to me. Like, what is it I’m doing that makes people feel ok with dumping their shit on me?!
Anyway, I’ve found just empathising is the way to go. “Oh geez, that must’ve been tough”, “wow, that’s a lot to have gone through”, “are you ok now?”, “I’m really sorry to hear that, it must have been awful”, and sometimes “thank you for trusting me with this” depending on circumstances.
A lot of the time, they just need to tell someone their story. To know they’ve been heard, to get it off their chest, and for some, it’s the only way they know how to connect with others. It’s that kind of thing where men are advised to ask their female partners “do you need support, advice, or to just vent” when they’re talking about problems, these people just want to vent, to be heard, to tell someone because they’ll break if they don’t.
…there is also a very minuscule subset that are saying it because they love being the victim. But those people usually out themselves pretty quickly, because they’ll bring up everything bad that’s ever happened to them all the time, and usually make things bigger than they actually were. Those people I just tend to make non-committal noises at and move on to talk to someone else as quickly as I can.
If it’s something you can’t handle, for whatever reason, just be firm. “I know you need someone to listen to you right now, and I want to support you, but I just don’t have the emotional capacity right now to hear and help you. Maybe in a day or two we could have this conversation again, and I will be in a better headspace to support you.” Most people will understand and apologise. Some will go off at you, but that will just out them as someone with victim-mentality and not really worth your time. And hey, you just gave them a new way to be a victim to someone else, so really, they’ve won!
If you laugh, apologise and say you’re not laughing at them, just that it was so unexpected and you didn’t really know how to respond. Nervous laughter is a common response to serious situations.