i (23F) out last week that my fiance (23M) was messaging women for pictures on a fake Instagram account. he has been doing it for 6 months. we got engaged in December. we also have a 1 1/2 year old. after i had our son, i was completely normal and affectionate but as he got older ive been just stressed a dealing with a toddler and work, everything else going on in life that i guess i haven’t given him any attention. ive been awful to him recently with fighting and we just haven’t been the same for awhile emotionally and intimately. when i confronted him he took accountability and saw how hurt it made me. his apology seemed sincere and he was full of regret.
i have been in a horrible cheating relationship before and i do not want to go through it again, but the difference between my last relationship and the one i have now is the guy full on denied everything and called me crazy even with proof. he never cared how i felt or how bad it hurt me, but my fiance acted a completely different way and genuinely cared that it hurt me.
i want to forgive him and move on from this. I know i haven’t been the best to him and i feel bad, in no way am i trying to excuse his behavior but i don’t want to ruin our relationship and split our kid up from his parents over something yes very serious but also if it was physical it would be a bit different.
please give me any advice.
Comments
Girl 🙁 In no way would you be ruining the relationship if you guys break up. HE ruined it. He ruined it 6 months straight. Not once during those 6 months did he think about how this would affect you or your child. Think about the relationship you want your child to see growing up. You will constantly worry about his loyalty to you and your family
in my opinion, first of all, I don’t think having problems in the relationship should be an excuse for cheating. Which means I don’t think you should blame yourself or what he has done. You already ackowledge that you haven’t been a good partner, that’s it. That’s something to be worked on, not to be as an escape goat.
Second: does he works as hard as you? I mean, does he shares the parenthood and take care of your child as much as you do? I guess you both work and have multiple responsabilities, but I’ve heard that women are generally overwhelmed with tasks that should be equally shared between both partners. Plus, being overloaded decrease your sex drive, along with the time and energy you have to spend with him.
Again, this are just questions to be thought about because you both should work togheter to improve your relationship if you’re willing to forgive him.