I’m absolutely bored out of my mind.
My grandfather passed in 2019, my mother in 2020. Grandma coded twice last summer when she had a heart attack but she came back & she’s changed her ways. But it fucked with me you know- like any day now she’s next to go.
My childhood is completely gone & flew by right before my eyes. Then I got married in 2013 & raised a family until I left my exhusband in 2022. I have 1 child from that marriage but I raised his son from previous relationship & both of these kids, their childhood just flew by before my eyes too. I have no more kids & no money to divorce my ex.
I’m paying nearly $1400 a month for a 1bedroom apartment. The economy & prices of everything is absolute shit. And it’s not one specific “presidents” fault, it’s literally USA in general. All of them in politics, both sides, hate the American public & wont do shit for us.
Sick of financially suffering. Sick of the fact my family is gone & I’m completely alone.
My family always did stuff together. It was just fun every weekend being with them.
Now my life is idle & meaningless. I go to work 5 days a week. I come home, eat dinner & go to bed. Repeat. On the weekends I have my kiddo I try to keep her entertained & spend time with her. But she’s at the age now she’s starting to want to be with her friends. My former stepson is pissed at me for leaving their dad & wont have anything to do with me.
I tried dating, that was insufferable. I’m a 36 year old, separated from my husband, fat woman. Know what that attracts? All the wrong kind of men. I tried to meet women but the women were insufferable as well. Acted like they were too damn good to be lesbian/bi or whatever.
I crave companionship with someone who wants to go out. Go for hikes, movies, shopping, sight seeing. Someone who wants to play board games, cook together, share wild stories from our youth & laugh together.
Instead it’s me, my cat, my tv …. Then my bed, work, and then my bed for the two days off.
I’m simply existing, not living. I cannot even get people to talk to me anymore because I AM insufferable as well, battling my mental health. I guess I should just lie & say I’m fantastic when I’m really not.
Anyways thanks for reading’