What does most every father, brother, son, friend need more of? I want to find ways to better uplift, honor and connect with the men in my life.
What does most every father, brother, son, friend need more of? I want to find ways to better uplift, honor and connect with the men in my life.
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Positive first encounters.
So many of my first interactions are negative—complaints, problems, rants. I just want good first encounters. First thing in the morning, coming home from work, that first text of the day. Just starting things on a good note would make my life feel so much better.
It would be nice if someone did me a favor for once.
People not hating me would be a good start.
Compassion.
Chris Rock did a bit once about men being the only creatures that aren’t loved unconditionally. “Women, babies, and pets are loved unconditionally. Men are only loved on the condition that they provide something for you.” I’ve been to hundreds of comedy shows and watched dozens more on TV and few bits ever struck a nerve like that one.
Non sexual affectionate touch. As a man that grew up in a house where there was no physical touch other than the occasional paddling, I don’t look for or desire to be touched by anyone. It’s odd to see my male friends hug and dap each other up. I feel a disconnect with other males because I don’t think to do it.
Time.
We’re all so busy that it is difficult to find the time to get together. Texts and emails are fine, but nothing beats in person visiting. I wish we could coordinate more often.
Acceptance and unconditional love for who they are.
The secret to happiness in my life has been to treat the people closest to me in the most supportive way and not the most critical way. Many people (most actually) will be kind and polite to strangers and then emotionally tear down their family when they get home. This is completely backwards but it is commonplace. People feel more free to point out faults with family members and think they are helping, but much of the time it does more harm than good. Home should be a safe haven and a happy place we all enjoy going to.
I had family members (no names here) who would be screaming red-faced with anger and then answer the telephone or the door with a smile and perfect manners. This treatment was given regularly to siblings, sometimes to in-laws, but worst of all to children and spouses. This is just not how we should live our lives.
Men don’t get compliments. Well documented but we remember the one compliment we got ten years ago.
A genuine compliment for something done well can change the whole day.
More head from my ex
I am simple man
I’ve been sick since Friday. Been in bed all day today. No one believes I’m sick and no one said: what can I get you, how can I help? All I get from mom, sister, and girlfriend are doubt and sarcastic remarks. When they get sick I’m Mr. On-top-of-it, no questions asked.
Girlfriend surprised me, we’re going to have a direct conversation when I get better.
I need a little compassion is all.