This could be anything really. It could be the way they parented you, or the lack there of, to a tradition or memory you want your kids to experience.
Let’s hear it!
This could be anything really. It could be the way they parented you, or the lack there of, to a tradition or memory you want your kids to experience.
Let’s hear it!
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Yes m’am/sir and No m’am/sir
No kids here, but should I have kids I’d raise ’em “to the world” as my mom said, meaning I’d teach ’em how to be self sufficient and don’t need to rely on others.
No kids here but I’d pass on “look into the mirror not at the mirror” while learning to drive
Financial responsibilities.
I was paying for vehicle insurance, gas, and minor maintenance for my first vehicle. At 18, I was paying rent and a portion of utilities. I had a bank account where I saved a portion of my money.
I would like my children to understand that nothing is free in this world and when you do get something for free it is because you’re either receiving charity which is sometimes necessary, you paid for it with your blood, sweat, and tears (work accident or something like this), or you are being a burden and taking from someone else’s labor.
No corporal punishment. Making sure they feel they are number one. Having an actual relationship with your children. Taking interest in their interests. Teaching all the emotions and how to handle them. Cooking and cleaning up after yourself. Proper laundry care. Doing the right thing even when no one’s looking. Taking responsibility for your actions or lack thereof. Some of these things I didn’t get and gave to my kids. I’ll be a grandfather soon
No one owes you a thing. If you want to achieve something it’s on you to make it happen. Don’t fixate on the things you don’t control.
Physical punishment is useless
I don’t have kids. I consistently encourage the young men on askmenover30 to always use a condom and get STI tested with each new partner. Only stop using that condom when you are both committed and have a plan in place, to raise up children who will be functioning members of society. And also if you know you don’t want kids ever – get a vasectomy. Save your future girlfriend/wife/partners all the hassle of birth control.
For some reason the idea of “working harder than the rest” is scoffed at more and more these days. But, my dad pushed that idea from an early age. I always tried to not let anyone outwork me at a job, sports, life in general. For years I was just the young kid that was a hard worker and making the same money as other people working less. But eventually I started having people above me vouch for me as a hard worker. This opened up a lot of doors down the road and landed me my dream job. I had lots of people giving great references and a long History of hard work. Now it’s easy street until an early retirement. I’ll be teaching my son the same thing.
I dont plan on having kids, but generally I’d try to believe what they are telling me. Take what they say seriously.
They taught me that having children is the act of giving your life away. You have to accept that your life isn’t yours anymore; it’s theirs. If someone can’t accept that, they shouldn’t have kids.
I know I wouldn’t be able to accept that. I won’t have kids to pass that lesson onto.
Nothing! Their bullshit ends with me because I’m the end of the genetic line. Last stop, everybody off!
You are responsible for your own choices. Your reputation is what you make of it. Every decision has consequences. Be nice to anyone who helps you. Have and use manners.
The most important one? Learn to laugh at yourself. You will do/say dumb things. When you realize it, own it and laugh at yourself.
Don’t scream unless you mean it. And if you mean it, scream until it’s age to stop.
From my dad- a love for the outdoors, hunting, fishing.
From my mom- to be involved as a parent. Always be there for them and you could always tell she is happiest when she’s with me and my sibling
My Mother told me these pearls three months before she died, I have taught them and more to our son. “Don’t Be Petty, Nothing in the world is Fair, Focus on what you Can Control “
Everyone here will teach their kids to be afraid of the same stupid shit they’re afraid of. It’s a fucking crime.
Situational awareness and always being alert out in public especially when driving.
The value of a dollar. Understanding money, how to save, living below your means, working hard, and all those things I took to heart that really set me up for success in life.
Cops aren’t your friends
Don’t give in to other people delusions, you’re responsible for what you said respectfully, not what they felt.
And my absolute favorite that it took a lot of maturing to realize it’s a valid approach: “No, I don’t want to” is a complete and valid answer. no further explanation is necessary unless you want to.
Never fight in public or in front of the kids. Being upset with your partner is going to happen; burying shit in the moment and controlling your emotions for the well being of those around us, avoiding passive aggressive signaling, and then lighting them up like a Christmas tree in private when you have their attention is the trick to not raising angry kids.
Before leaving to get in the car, always try to pee. Even if you don’t have to, there’s always a little in the tank.
I always wonder what my dad’s thinking when he’s so happy watching me with my five year old son. Playing soccer, Legos, video games, ect. Taking him on road trips to the beach, museums, and theme parks that match his interests. Doing his homework, and actually taking time to make sure he understands it. Cooking for him, cleaning up after him, keeping a fairly clean and decent home. With him never having done any of those things.
I don’t have kids and don’t plan on having them, but I have amazing parents who taught me a ton of great things, but the ones that stick out are:
Respect: always be respectful (this has gotten harder, but I try to just ignore people in public).
Responsibility & Accountability: pretty straightforward; owning up to your actions, learning from mistakes, and using that to grow. No pointing fingers!
Nothing in life is ever free: this might seem like a weird one, but it has probably stopped me from getting scammed a couple of times, at least.
Always move forward in life. Don’t be afraid to take risks and leaps. Work and hard and always seek opportunities
Take a summer vacation. Even if it is cheap and boring. Show them something they haven’t seen and let them know they are more important than your job.
Empathy.
It’s more along the lines of what not to do rather than what to do.
I have three kids in their twenties. When they were younger and I faced a parenting dilemma, I always asked the question, ‘What would my parents do in this situation?’ and did the opposite. Always seemed to work out.
No kids, but if I had them, I would teach them to respect blue collar. You could be a billionaire, and you’d still need blue collar to survive. I might even go further and encourage them to learn a blue collar trade of their own.
Once my children reach a certain age, the handholding will stop and self reliance will become a priority. In a microcosm, I hire kids for summer jobs and the amount of 16-17 year olds who still have their parents fill out their job applications, speak on their behalf, and basically do everything for them is truly sad to see in my opinion.
I appreciate how my parents never had that mentality and forced me to be self sufficient when all I wanted was to do was avoid it.
Crippling alcoholism.
My parents made a lot of mistakes, but even in the chaos, there were moments of real insight and common sense. As I reflect, instances addressing clarity within the chaos stand out most to me.
My mom once told me, “In relationships, it’s important to communicate your needs—especially when you’re upset. No one is a mind reader.” That stuck with me. Communication really is key. It’s unfair to expect your partner to meet needs they don’t even know about. Give them the chance before getting angry and assuming something that may only be true in your head.
My father, though very flawed, had his own kind of common sense. One thing he said always stayed with me: “I would never do anything that would make me go to prison.” The men in my family aren’t big guys, but we can be extremely impulsive, so that advice was good for basic survival before fully developing my prefrontal cortex. It’s a reminder to keep your cool when you’re angry and always abide by the laws of society—especially around cops.
Saving is important.
Good produce/food is worth spending money on
To be self reliant. If you do get help along the way be sure to be gracious, thankful, and willing to return the favor when needed.
I was a latch key kid by 10, on my own by 16, married by 19. While I wont put my kids through what I endured, I will say by 10 both kids could cook for themselves and neither of them am I worried about having to take on resposibility, I was far from a perfect parent, though both my boys 21 & 17 make me a proud dad.
Basic financial literacy! Know what money is worth, how credit card/loans work and if someone wants to hand you fast cash to just sign up on something not that important, it’s not actually free cash…
Mostly what not to do. But they are valuable lessons in themselves.
Many things. My dad was a deadbeat and left my mom and me penniless. Mom and I persevered and rose above it after many years of hard work. Lessons learned:
From mom’s example – Never feel sorry for yourself. Work hard. Make friends. Be positive. Live within your means. Invest and save. Speak your mind. Listen to older people who have been successful. Be nice even to people you don’t like. Be polite.
From dad’s mistakes – Family is everything. Make sure your children feel loved and supported. Admit when you make a mistake. Don’t blame others for your problems. Communicate bad news in person. Don’t be selfish. Follow up on your commitments even when you’ve made a mistake. Be a real man not a coward.
My own opinion growing up in the 60s in a Asia
Check everything before you say. Don’t believe people just because they old. Even the stupid grow old.