My abusive father officially disowned me today.

Me (25f) had decided to visit my father a month ago after YEARS of not talking to him due to the abuse he put me through all my life.

My family found out that I was intersex back when I was little and this changed my whole relationship with my father. He was a loving man before all that but the moment he found out, he started doing things to keep me as a boy. It was completely wrong because the doctor told them to let me find myself and choose my own gender with time. Unfortunately He’d force me to wear boy clothes, put me in sports and even went as far as punishing me when I didn’t want to. He’d lock me into the basement for hours whenever I wanted to play with my dolls which my mom would buy for me, and he once even decided to burn my butt with a hot iron stick just because I wore my friend’s Hannah Montana wig. (I still have that damn mark on my butt to this day.) That happened around the time they got divorced with my mom which is why my mom didn’t know about it most of the time… tho she realized it all when she saw the burn mark on my butt. She immediately told the authorities and he got charged with child abuse. That’s the last time I really saw him…

It’s been years since I haven’t seen him, and I actually wouldn’t have went to see him last month if it wasn’t for a dream I had one night. He was ill and needed my help, and for some reason I wanted to help him. After talking to some people who live at the same street as we used to, I found out that he still lived in the same home after all these years. Driving there was one of the weirdest experiences I had in a while… all the memories came back to me, I build up my courage and knocked on the door. The man that answered the door was not the strong, scary man I remembered from my childhood. He was older, extremely thin, and somewhat blind, and I realized how bad I felt for him as stupid as I was.

We talked in the garden for a while, he was mostly quiet and didn’t say a lot besides that I looked good and that he doesn’t understand how it happened. It seemed like a positive reaction to me so I thought that maybe from now on we could have a connection, make up for all the lost years.

We hugged, and I forgave him, told him that I want to leave the past behind. He agreed which made me incredibly happy cause I thought it was genuine at first.

You could imagine my shock when I got a voice message from him one month later today, telling me that he will never be okay with me being a woman and that he therefore doesn’t want to have any contact with me ever again, and if I ever show up at his house (aka: my house) he won’t let me in.

So I’m officially disowned by him. Idk why it affected me a little but it did. If you think about it, I was already disowned basically… but hearing it this way out of his mouth instead of getting beaten up or tortured by him, was somehow more effective. So yeah… that’s it. I needed to get that out somewhere. Thank you for reading!