So my mom (f/68) and dad (m/70) both voted for Trump. It’s a major point of contention between us as I (f/38) believe him to be evil incarnate and a weak, dementia-addled geriatric who has no business leading anyone, much less an entire country. But that’s not necessarily what this post is about.
I work in the education tech sector, and on Friday my entire team and I were laid off as a result of the dismantling of the Department of Education. Super fun and not at all terrible. /s
She was grilling me about finding a new job, what I was doing to find one, the kind of places I was applying to, etc. (note: it’s been less than 24 hours since I was laid off), and I blew up at her and essentially said, “You know what? I need to be left alone. You voted for this. Thank you.” She then called my sister (who is a raging liberal while I tend to fall left of center), and cried to her over the phone about how both of us think she’s a bad person just because of how she voted.
The truth of the matter is that, while I don’t necessarily think she’s a bad person at her core, I do believe her to be deeply misinformed and willfully ignorant (she’s also a blind follower of my father, who I’m not convinced isn’t actually kind of a shit human). My sister backed me up (thank God for sisterhood) and essentially said that she was entitled to her opinions but that we were also entitled to call her out when she was wrong or when we disagreed with her, especially when her opinions hurt other people. She then said that she wasn’t sure when she’d ever call me again, which honestly… I’m kind of okay with.
But I want to make sure I’m not throwing away a relationship with my mother over nothing. Blood relations don’t mean much to me (I’m definitely a “found family” person), but she’s still my Mom, you know? I gave up on my Dad a long time ago, so losing him means little to nothing to me.
Tl;dr – Lost my job due to lack of funding as a result of the Department of Education being dismantled. Mom voted for Trump, and I essentially told her she voted for everything that’s going on right now, including my unemployment.
Am I the AH?
Comments
NTA at all! Everyone thinks it won’t affect them until it does. Don’t feel too bad about it!
NTA. Your mom and her ilk are directly responsible for your predicament.
Sad your parents made an idiotic decision
So strange how much reddit hates Trump.
NTA they voted against you and now they’re sad you pointed it out , too bad for them.
NOPE! NTA! Fuck trump and the people who voted for him. And yes, people like your parents who voted for him are partially responsible for what has happened to the dept. of education and for people like you losing your job.
NAH. Your mother is trying to deny her responsibility for the predicament you’re in and you don’t owe her that.
I think saying it once is worth it. She’ll get it. Don’t rub it in though I think once is enough.
nta, she has no right to berate you for both their actions.
NTA. You’re not wrong.
NTAH, but what does “raging liberal” mean? what’s the difference between you and her? is she just more outspoken than you?
NTA. Fuck Trump and anyone who voted for him.
Nah. Your mother is a wet noodle. Who needs to know she hurt you.
Con artists like Trump ALWAYS zero in on the easy money. Nobody even knows how much DeptEd pisses away every year, but it’s easy $ for the crooks.
NTA. Voting has consequences and not Voting has consequences since almost 70 million eligible voters decided to sit it out. She voted for Trump so this one of the consequences of her vote.
This is one of the most sane posts dealing with this issue. Your understanding of your parents, the standing up for yourself and asserting yourself in a calm but firm way, is beautiful.
I had to fire someone yesterday because of this shit show. It makes no sense. Of course you know you don’t deserve this, but with your maturity and self awareness, I’m sure you will bounce back.
Nta, you were right.
Never the ahole for speaking out against fascism.
Fucking hell. Your mom should’ve offered to take you out to dinner and watch a movie with you or get your nails done if you’re into that. Not grilled you about how you’re going to find a new job.
I’m so sorry you got laid off, I hope you find something else soon.
NTA – Especially when she is pushing you so quickly about your efforts to find a job. People should know the human consequences of their votes. Let her know somehow that she’s still your Mom. Maybe a birthday or Mother’s day card.
NTA like at all. Everything you said is true. If she is unwilling to listen and learn (cause I know how boomers loved to tell that to their kids, mine included) then she gets to lay in the bed she made.
NTA I’m black and my bestie is white but I do not trust her now, even though I love her and she’s been amazing to me in our 17 year friendship. I don’t trust her because she’s a Trump supporter. And she’s a hypocrite because she’s benefited from liberal ideals, but chalked it up to being “mostly republican.” If I’m so much of your friend why would you vote for someone who is vocally against all my interest rights and safety! And if someone is a hateful, divisive, uneducated, bankrupt, felon, fascist, white supremacist, and you vote for him and then want me to be your token black friend, i don’t feel like I can truly trust you. This man is divisive! Even someone I’ve been friends with that long, our friendship almost ended, but my family told me she IS family and we can’t lose our friendship over him, he’s temporary. Don’t lose your relationship with your mother.
NTA, she needed a real life example of how her vote was used to hurt everyday Americans, including you. Best of luck on the job search.
NTA, she voted for a pedophile rapist.
NTA
I’m tired of people thinking who they vote for dosent matter.
You vote for representatives who will run things based on your values, yes? If you don’t want to be regarded as a bad person, don’t vote for the dictators.
If you’re against education, certain ppl existing and expressing themselves ect ect….
You’re a bad person and what else are we supposed to think about your views when you vote for the ppl with these views?
NTA. I’ve said similar to my parents regarding the DoE and DEI bullshit because my sister works as a SpEd teacher. If the government cuts that funding my sister could be let go. I made damn sure they understood that this was their doing.
YTA . She isn’t responsible for you being laid off .. I’m the person that keeps my family bonds so I don’t agree with you about throwing blood relationships away .. regardless of what you think, you wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for your parents..
NTA
Also she needs to know that not only did she vote for you to lose your job, she voted for so many other people to lose their job at the same time that finding a new job will be exceptionally difficult. She needs to be told that. She’s not going to work it out herself.
MAGA
NTA. The fact your parents can’t or won’t see they are directly responsible for you losing your job is so sad. You really don’t need to be associated with that kind of delusion. (I’m old enough to be your father and would never vote for the crap show we got going on right now.) Taking a break from contact with toxic people (whether blood-related or not) is never a bad idea.
NTA you should go LC or NC. A person who defends than man deep down inside is a selfish, manipulative, hateful individual and should have no place in a civilized society of hope, compassion, loyalty, and love.
NTA. 1st… she’s riding you like an old horse on a getaway about finding a job. You had a job. It was cut because Elump made it so. Your parents’ votes helped trumpleforeskin win, true, and it’s disheartening that your mum couldn’t make the connection between your job being cut and their votes. It seems like she may not have too much of a self identity, so she wrapped herself up in your dad’s (fear of being alone?). If she cannot or will not separate her true self from his personality, you chose wisely to withdraw for your own sanity. Maybe in time, you and your sister can break the spell, not to mention the White House… they are doing their absolute best to prove to everyone just how incompetent and ill-suited they all are at performing their duties. Well, if taking payoffs, “allegedly”, was in their job description, they can do one thing well.
Good luck with the search and mega lawsuit. I’d say have fun suing the pants off of Trump and Elon – please make sure they are both individually named along with everyone else in the decision to dismantle the DoE, as with the various groups and whatnot – but I don’t think anyone wants to see their pants off!
It isn’t your mom’s fault, even if she didn’t vote for Trump he would’ve won because the majority of people in America voted for him. The democrats lost every single swing state. It might make you feel better to blame everyone else, but it doesn’t help anything. All you can do is control yourself, so take the anger that you feel and channel it into aggressively looking for a new job.
As far as getting angry that she was asking a lot of questions about your plans to find a new job, you could’ve handled it in a more mature way. It would’ve been an adult move to say something like “mom I’m feeling really upset right now, so I’d like to take a couple days just to be sad and not talk about that. I know you are concerned about me, and I am planning on taking my job search very seriously. It would just be great if I could have a few days where we don’t discuss it.” It would’ve been wise of you to try and put yourself in her shoes, her questions were out of concern for you and a desire to help you. You responded in a very immature manner to the woman who raised you just because she voted the way the majority of the country voted.
NTA Trump’s faults were well-known before the election but this time he is being guided by his Overlord, Elon Musk, to cause far more damage in the least amount of time. I suggest just cutting off Trumpees, the damage their vote will cause our country is simply unforgivable. And if you don’t cut mom off, her medicare and/or social security is gonna be slashed and then she’ll be calling you for help.
NTA.
She was callous and didn’t even have compassion for you as a human let alone a child that she birthed. Badgering you about your job search 24 hours after being let go from the previous one is top tier dirt bag behavior.
Do what you have to do to protect your peace.
Yep. Get a real job
It sounds like you have a bigger problem than getting along with your parents. You are going to have to get a job now, and quickly, knowing that you aren’t actually qualified for any real job.
NTA. These people need to learn, voting isn’t a game, it has real consequences for real people.
NTA
NTA! I told my mom that’s I hope she’s happy in life from now. I told her she obviously cared & was devoted more to a narcissist psychopath than she cared about her own children & grandchildren. I wished her well & told her I hope she gets what she deserved & not to contact me anymore (to be fair she is also a narcissist & I was very low contact with her before but that was the last straw)!
Your mother was grilling you to stay on offense. She knew her vote played a factor in your situation, and had her victim card ready to use.
Blaming your parents for losing your job…..because of who they voted for like their vote ….or anyones other then the electoral colleges vote mattered? How old are you again? Grow the fuck up.
Yes, if you are asking, think of the thousands who lost jobs under the last administration. Nothing new.
They don’t regret their choice. They just hate being called out for it by those around them. That’s all that matters to them.
A lot of Germans and Italians in 1946 felt the same way. “Look, it was all about the train schedules for me! I didn’t know he’d actually do any of the stuff he kept promising to do! You have to meet us halfway on this!”
You lost your job because your company laid you off. That is the one and only reason. Your parents had nothing to do with it. Voters had nothing to do with it. The decision came from your company and your company alone. Please stop blaming someone else for your lay off. YTA
Are you 12?
Seriously.
You got laid off from the department of education and the best you can do is blame other people.
And run on sentences.
Grow up, put your big girl panties on, accept that shit happened and go find work.
What was it that your type were spewing a few years ago…
Just learn to code!
For fucks sake, do you pay your own bills?
Sleep in your bed?
Feed yourself?
Everything is both your responsibility and your fault, be it success or failure.
The sooner you accept that, the sooner you stop crying like a child and blaming everyone for your short comings.
The only evil here is that you are supposedly 38 and despite working to get into the depth of education, you can’t actually accept responsibility or accountability for your own life.
And those fucking run on sentences spewing blame at everything because you don’t like it.
She and every person that voted for that selfish narcissistic traitor- are at fault no doubt about it
No. I am in the federal research sector and haven’t worked in two months.Told my Trump-voting mom that we can’t afford to come see her this summer or Christmas or who knows when.
NTA
They voted for this. They own it.
No!!
Your parents are actually both pieces of shit. NTA, but everyone needs to stop cosdling the cult and realize, you’re literally trying to reason with cult leaders. Which is stupid af.
Definitely NTA. You literally got laid off directly as a result of the president’s actions and they voted for him. It’s not even ambiguous – he put you out of a job.
NTA, however you could have just said “You know what? I need to be left alone.” And then nothing else, and just walked away. Family is family, I don’t always agree with mine. There’s nothing wrong with disagreeing, however, this is where the importance of communication and boundaries come into play. Especially as an adult. It’s okay to tell people (family) that you don’t want to talk, want to be left alone, and walk away.
It was definitely wrong for her to grill you like that. I would have up and left, said “I love you mom, but I’m leaving and don’t want to be around you right now.” Take the time for yourself, and let this simmer down. Take the time to decompress and focus on things that bring you peace.
You’re suffering the consequences of *her* actions, and she has the nerve to berate you?
NTA.
NTA. Your mom put a higher value on hurting the people she wanted to bully over protecting her family members with that vote. Now she can reap the harvest of what she’s sown.
I think she’s a bad person.
Had my mom still been alive she’d have done the same thing. I work in tech but am doing contract right now. I tried education tech and every job I applied have sent an email stating “due to the economy and the current administration these jobs are not being filled and will be closed.” And it was like 6 jobs frustrating.
NTA! Honestly, I’d feel the same. My mom used to be a Democrat not like far leaning liberal but left leaning conservative type. But my dad was a staunch Republican like only voted a straight red ticket ever. Even tho he told his, one time, bosses wife a Democrat oh ya I voted for you. No he never did. But he died and a few years later she met her “last” husband and he warped her mind so bad she changed from a normal person who couldn’t ever have an abortion but said it’s not her business what someone else does they have the right to chose for themselves. To all abortion is wrong. And even believed this idiots “they’re having abortions after birth!” Crap. Like no that’s murder no one is doing that. And sorry I’m venting myself. The last 10 years of her life she changed so much I didn’t even recognize her anymore.
I can’t stand magats. And even some I know are already complaining about how it’s already effecting them and I get this devilish grin and asshole attitude and tell them “well you get what you voted for. Have fun with that!”
NTA.
Trump said he’d eliminate the Department of Education during his campaign. This isn’t even one of those wink-wink nudge-nudge things where someone could say, “I didn’t know that eliminating DEI meant erasing the accomplishments of people of color and women from federal records and refusing to fund research if it looks at women’s health. I though it just meant that we wouldn’t have quotas.”
Your mom has the right to vote for whoever she wants. She does not have the right to expect that she won’t be held accountable when her choice was made knowing that it would hurt people.
NTA. Your mom and dad both bear a small measure of responsibility for the conditions that resulted in your joblessness. If they cannot show support for your very real predicament then I would limit contact until they admit that.
I mean a program that fails our kids year after year with the numbers to prove it, it would bee stupid to keep the program. Just been a long time coming, not your moms fault
NTA. Not at all. It would have taken me a few weeks to even talk to them.
Just look at this as an opportunity for you to find a real job.
NTA. Fed employee here. I am truly sorry about the layoff. This year has been a whirl wind of stress/anger/sadness/etc. I am one of very few in my family/friend group that is a non Trump supporter and you could say passionate about it lol if I ended up losing my job it would be hard not to lash out at the people who supported him. So I don’t blame you.
Cutting family off or going low contact feels hard bc society has conditioned us to believe “blood is thicker than water” or whatever. If anything “blood” should be held to a higher standard in terms of earning and keeping respect. Hot take but family shouldn’t get a free pass just because they’re family.
Trust your gut and do what feels right.
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Your the asshole and are experiencing Karma…
Your mom needs to wind her neck in. I’d have given her short shrift too.
I wish you well finding a new job.
NTA, birds of a feather flock together.
The information is out there. Anyone who can willingly ignore it and voted for him, are willing to benefit from it at the extreme expense of others, spiteful or irredeemably flawed themselves. You’re better off without such toxic people in your life.
I think we’re all dealing with this issue. And I don’t think there is much that will wake our parents and other relatives up to the horrible mess their choice has placed the whole world in.
I’m going through letting go of my father completely for this reason. Last conversation when he went on n on about Biden causing grocery prices. For years I’ve tried to not bring up politics but he can’t help himself for the need to bring up Trump. He supposed to get social security next year. He needs it. I just can’t deal w him anymore.
You are the problem.
Can we at least acknowledge that Joe Biden was also a “dementia-addled geriatric who has no business leading anyone, much less an entire country”? Whatever side you fall on, you have to admit, most presidential candidates this country has had to choose from as of late, Trump, Biden, Kamala, have been a mix of extremely weak, incompetent candidates. I’m sorry you lost your job, but you shouldn’t blame your parents for voting for 1 incompetent candidate over another (that was poor vice president the past 4 years).
Another thing to note. Kamala lost in a landslide, so blaming your 2 parents for Trump winning is elementary at best. Trump destroyed Kamala in that election and it’s because the majority of the nation was displeased with the way the last 4 years went. Kamala was a lazy nomination. It’s like the Democratic Party didn’t even want to win the election this time around.
It’s a shame watching your country being torn apart by manipulative forces, domestic and foreign (oligarchs).
There’s many categories of Trump voters – as you say, from pieces of shit racists to people who thought maybe he might make their lives better in a global economy that was ignoring them.
You NTAH. But if you all cut out your parents then you leave them to the assholes and the echo chambers of fox news. And your mom loves you and I think you love your mom. You guys need to figure out how to reach them.
yes i can confirm that you are indeed an asshole
NTA. Your mother shouldve apologized to you for not understanding this would happen to you. It’s not difficult. I suspect she attacks others whenever she makes mistakes or feels bad. That’s a good reason to go distant.
Please don’t let your TDS destroy your relationship with your family.
NTA
I think it’s courageous of your mom (m/68) voted for Trump given all the hype about him! Must be hard to have to m/ parents that voted for Trump as they may have foreseen the value of dismantling dept of in-education. Guess they really take their patently seriously. Or just grow up and take responsibility for a valueless employee, aforementioned un-education employer!
You’re going to reddit, literally the most leftist social media platform, with your question? I mean, the way you framed this question is literally begging only people whom agree with you to rush to your defense.
OMG sorry this sounds like my mother. She’s a raging liberal whereas I lean central but the whole laid off thing. My mother has been a SAHM for 25 yrs but any time I got laid off she grilled me when I would get a job & that I should be willing to drive up to 2hrs for it.
Thank you for making me feel less alone. Anytime anything bad happened to GFS I was also surprised how nice their moms were and took them to lunch or to get their nails done. Lol
I can’t tell you what to do just do what you need to do to keep sane.
Sending you positivity
My wife was just laid off for the same reason and I told my MAGA parents I blamed them. I’ve eliminated them them from all social media and gone no contact. Assholes.
You are giving your egg donor waaaaayyyy too much credit. She’s not a decent person at all. She voted for you to lose your job, then berates you like YOU did this to yourself and not a result of her misdeeds.
And your “parents” are likely of an income bracket that they won’t really feel the same pain 99.8% of America is about to feel/is feeling. So, it sucks they won’t get to taste their own rotten medicine.
Then again, I get the feeling that as MAGAts, they will still blame everyone else when they suffer from their own actions. It’s just the repugnicunt way to live by embodying the Narc’s Prayer.
‘I (f/38) believe him to be evil incarnate and a weak, dementia-addled geriatric who has no business leading anyone, much less an entire country.’
Oh, don’t be so mealy-mouthed, say what you really think!.
You are the AH
Your mother is unsure when she’s going to call you again, because her politics are more important than her daughter. That’s the bottom line. Whatever racist, imperialistic, hateful agenda the Giant Cheeto is sprouting is more important. NTA. Best of luck in finding a job.
Just out of curiosity, with your m68 mom and m70 dad, how did you decide which one was the mom and which one is the dad?
NTA. Just told her the truth and it hurt her feelings, and as the MAGA people are so proud of saying, Fuck your feelings.