tw: description of mild violence
I’ve talked about it with my family and close friends and they all think i should proceed with it, but i would also welcome more opinions because i overtink everything. Especially if you have dealt with something similar as a woman.
I went to the mall in the evening (like 21:30, it closes at 22:00) because I needed to get missing things for my great-uncle’s birthday party since he lives in the middle of the arsewhere and i knew i would sleep long and drink alcohol the next day.
Got a lot of fruits and vegetables that needed to be weighted. In this particular store there are only 2 scales at the vegetable/fruit section and none near the cashier which means that if you forget to weight it, you have to go back across the entire mall – 1 was broken and the other was occupied by a guy in his (roughly) mid 30s who clearly couldn’t find what he was looking for.
After waiting for 5 minutes, i offered him help, so we were both standing side by side and trying to spot a particular onion when, out of nowhere, i got smashed in the back of my legs at full force and full speed with a shopping trolley, then shoved aside by a woman who immediately started screaming at the guy for always talking to whores etc. She also tried to grab and push me when i was going away. (They stood in the only aisle leading away from the area.) I didn’t talk to her at all, and my only physical contact was yanking my arm away. I went to the security because even though the woman didn’t follow me, she was throwing insults in my direction and getting more and more aggravated, even though her partner was attempting to calm her down. And after driving for 5 hours and having 2 more hours to go, i really just wanted to weight my purchases. 💀
They handled it great. 2 went to the couple, 1 talked to me, asked me about injuries and offered to either have them kicked out or call the police. I opted for the latter bc even though i only had huge bruises, it was mainly because i was taller than the woman (i’m 186 cm, she was solid 20 cm shorter) and didn’t stumble, otherwise i would fall face first to tiled floor. Not to mention that she was able to leave handprints and scratches when trying to grab me, and i’m no weakling. Definitely felt to me like she could have injured someone who wasn’t that lucky or was similar to her in build. I also am officially diagnosed with PTSD from a violent encounter to the point i really dislike people touching me without warning from the back, so this wasn’t fun for my nervous system and my dad and brother had to come to pick me up because my hands were shaking like crazy. (That’s also why the tone might seem off to someone, my processing of such situation is lagging.)
At first i was 100% sure to take it to the court, but the more i think about it, the more it seems like i’m destroying the woman’s life for her partner’s indefility – she was crying about him cheating and he was very nonchalant when the police arrived. Which i know doesn’t really matter, because she did try to physically hurt me, but part of me still feels terrible about it.
edit if it’s relevant: i’m in my early 20s and i’ve never seen this couple before
Comments
Go ahead and sue. Next time she will hurt someone even worse.
Her partner’s infidelity does not give her the right to physically assault you. You can’t control what happens in their relationship. You can only control yourself, and you deserve to keep yourself safe.
I would not have called the police as I have a very low opinion of law enforcement in general; but I hope that I could have had the wherewithal to give her the back of my hand.
You absolutely should continue the process with the police and support them charging her with assault. Don’t think about her or her boyfriend for a moment. Think of yourself. You were assaulted and you need to have justice. Also, if she’s done this to you and she gets away with it, she’ll do worse to the next person.
Baby, you had me out attacked. File a police report, fuck her. Then sue her ass for emotional damage. Double whammy, just do both.
You aren’t destroying her life. She assaulted you. She made the decision to stay with him after cheating and she has to live with that. She can’t go assaulting randoms because he cheated.
Sue the dumb bitch
Why didn’t she run into him with the trolley? I wouldn’t care what her excuse was, she assaulted you for his behavior. I would go to court unless the amount in the settlement was ridiculously high and I didn’t have to sign a NDA and dealing with the court is a headache.
If she had attacked him for destroying her life with infidelity, then your worries would make more sense.
Instead she attacked and harmed an innocent bystander. Perhaps the next one will be a high-school girl who makes the mistake of asking him to get something off the top shelf.
Maybe you can request she do court-mandated therapy or something if you’re worried about her
People that do things like this and aren’t held accountable for their bad behavior will continue to do things like this. At minimum she needs to participate in some anger management classes.
Who knows if he even cheated? She flipped out and assaulted you for simply talking to him. Some people really do interpret their partner’s mundane interactions with the other sex as cheating or suspicions of cheating.
I think you should go on and take it to court. She needs to learn it is not ok to attack other women because she was cheated by her partner, she needs to learn to hold him and only him accountable for his actions and herself and only herself for her actions.
Also think of other unfortunate women who will cross this coupple’s path in the future.
You are surely not the first victim but yoh could be the last.
By taking legal action , you could prevent her from seriously injuring someone else.
Firstly i’m sorry this happened to you, and i get how you could be second guessing things now that a little times passed But she chose to lay her hands on you irrespective of the issues she may or may not be having with her partner.
You can’t go round laying hands on people for zero reason and expect no repercussions, or maybe that’s what she usually does and has got away with the behaviour so far. She has anger issues that need addressing and she needs to learn a lesson in my opinion. I would take it to court because next time she could really hurt someone.
I think you need a consult with a lawyer, because a lot of this doesn’t make sense. You can’t ‘settle’ a criminal charge with money like you can a civil case. They would be two seperate, mostly unrelated things. The government would charge her with assault as a criminal charge, and you would need to file a separate civil case for monetary restitution on your own.
You don’t mention what country you’re located in. That is pretty relevant to the story.
In the US, you don’t get to ‘decide’ whether this woman should face criminal charges for her assault. If you refuse to testify, the police may pursue the case anyways: presumably the supermarket has cameras that support the assault happened and other witnesses may testify. The cops may decide not to pursue charges even if you are interested in pursuing them. I would certainly suggest you agree to cooperate in a criminal law suit if you can, you may not be the first person this woman has assaulted and you probably won’t be the last unless she gets some kind of help.
You do get to ‘decide’ whether you want to file a civil law suit. Because you have suffered harm due to this woman’s attack, you could try to sue her for causing it. It may or may not make sense to file the lawsuit…basically all you can get out of a law suit is money. I don’t know this woman’s circumstances, but it’s possible someone who is out randomly assaulting people in groceries stores has zero money, so filing a law suit won’t make sense because even if you ‘won’, you could never collect a judgment against this woman.
I’ll be upfront: a lot of posts on Reddit and elsewhere that claim ‘assault’ and just not even close to assault. That’s why I clicked on your post.
But your story? 100% assault, and possibly even a hate crime because the only reason she attacked you was because you’re a woman.
Definitely take her to court / have the police press full charges against this woman. Don’t back down. It is completely unacceptable what she did to you, not to mention illegal. Document your injuries. Save police reports and medical records.
And excuse my language, but: fuck that bitch. I don’t care if her BF is unfaithful to her, she sounds absolutely unhinged and needs to deal with the consequences of her actions. And I am so sorry that this happened to you, and I hope that you feel better soon (both physically and mentally).
If her partner’s cheating she should leave him, not attack random women in his vicinity. Take her to court, teach a lesson. That’s batshit.
You should follow through with charges. She assaulted you, any fallout is her fault not his.
If it was a man acting this way towards a woman, would you have the same reaction? Also, just because she says he’s cheated doesn’t mean he has. Further, it’s absolutely possible he’s a victim of domestic violence. My cousin’s ex would do this ALL the time. She’d attack any woman who talked to him and then behind closed doors, she’d take it out on him.
This is probably a misdemeanor assault charge. You’re not going to give her a felony record. More than likely if she’s a first-time offender she’ll get the opportunity to do some sort of diversionary program. Maybe this might be a wake up call to her to either get her anger management under control, make changes in her life, and/or if the boyfriend is a cheater she’ll realize she needs to leave him
>i’m destroying the woman’s life for her partner’s indefility
The NORMAL and RATIONAL way for her to address her husband’s infidelity is to BREAK UP WITH HIM. And NOT to assault random people.
Take her to court, hold her accountable – YOU are not ‘destroying’ anyone’s life – she CHOSE to assault you, and the second she assaulted you, her consequences became ENTIRELY her own problem.