I’ve been laying the ground work for a few years. I’ve been telling people I’m planning to move abroad. Just that I’m saving money to do so. I’ve been starting to give away my belongings. Starting to let distance grow in friendships.
If everything goes to plan, I’ll have put everything in order before I go, and I’ll get to say a proper goodbye to everyone.
I’m going to send a letter by post to several people the day I leave explaining where I can be found and apologising. It will only arrive after it’s over. I’m planning to hike to a spot where I can be recovered but nobody will find me by accident.
Comments
Why?
Don’t do it, this is a permanent solution to a temporary problem
Things may not be how you want them now but things change. Few years ago I was hopeless and today I am happy. I moved away and formed new friendships and found new experiences
What is your motivation for this?
You know… I get it… Life is… So morose… So hard… But bro… Life is change, constant change… Even if you are deadlocked into some bullshit you CAN change your shit… Death is final… There is no other shit… Doesn’t that sound boring… I’m more alone than 8 have ever felt… But I just sit and hope that one day someone will love me… If I can do it… You can… Death is boring…
If you think distancing yourself from people will make it hurt less, you’re wrong.
We’re here for a blip of time, just a teeny tiny blip, but that time is full of choices, good and bad. We’ve all made and will make good and bad choices. What matters most is reflecting and learning.
That time you spend planning on ‘gracefully exiting the world’ could be used to make a real positive impact, and it needn’t be a big extravagant impact, just one kind comment, compliment, helping somebody out, volunteering, anything. And sometimes we just need to be kinder to ourselves – timeouts a trip to the beach, visiting a different country, photography, journalling. Something that can help you reflect.
You still have a choice to make, and seeing that you can plan your death so meticulously, I’d be willing to bet you can plan the next 6 months of your life just as meticulously.
The world is better with you in it. The only way out is through, and honestly, the strength of overcoming this will surprise you and make you so proud of yourself. I’d be proud of you, too.