I never thought it would all come crashing down like this.
I (38F) was in my best friend’s wedding last weekend at this beautiful, high-end country club. She’s been dreaming about this day forever, and I was honored to stand by her side. But the one thing I didn’t expect was for my husband (39M) to turn it into one of the most humiliating nights of my life.
While I was with the bridal party getting ready, he was apparently doing God knows what—my best guess is day drinking at a nearby bar. By the time he arrived at the wedding, he was already drunk. I noticed immediately—slurring, stumbling, just… off. He wore a baseball cap to the ceremony, texted through the vows, and loudly criticized the bar. Cocktail hour was rough, but dinner was worse.
At one point, I stepped away to call our two little kids and say goodnight. When I came back, he was passed out with his head on the table. People were staring. I gently tried to get him to leave. I offered to go with him. I called multiple rideshares. He refused. Then he locked himself in the bathroom and things escalated. Security got involved. He started screaming at me in the middle of the venue: “F**k you, I hate you, I want a divorce.” Over and over. In front of everyone.
I was mortified. I stayed at a friend’s house instead of returning to our hotel. The texts that followed were worse—accusations of cheating, more hatred, total drunken nonsense.
And now? He’s full of apologies. Saying he’ll quit drinking. That he “doesn’t know what got into him.” But the truth is, this wasn’t out of nowhere. He’s had a problem with binge drinking for years. It’s just that this time, the mask came all the way off.
I think I’m done. As in, really done. There’s a deep sadness in realizing your marriage might be over, not from a huge event or betrayal, but just the slow erosion of respect, stability, and trust… punctuated by one very public, awful night.
I’m not sure if I’m looking for advice or just trying to get this off my chest. But I guess if you’ve ever reached a breaking point like this—how did you know you were really done?