For reference I know this isn’t a huge deal but it just bugs me a lot. Me and my girlfriend have very different tastes in movies/tv shows which is totally fine. Occasionally she will ask me to watch something with her that’s not exactly in my realm but I’ll do my best to enjoy it as much as possible. But with her it is the complete opposite. She will be on her phone scrolling, not paying attention, or just stop watching entirely.
I’m not saying she has to think it’s the greatest piece of entertainment ever but It would nice for her to at least act like she’s interested. A couple months ago I told her I was going to see the new Nosferatu movie and she insisted that she wanted to come. I told her that it might not be her thing and that it is about 2 and a half hours long, but she still wanted to go. Yet, when we get there are start watching she’s complaining about how long it is and chuckling at parts for whatever reason.
The last straw for me is that I really wanted her to try and watch the Walking Dead with me because I want a new show to binge together. And not even 20 minutes into the first episode she fell asleep. It would be a different story if it was at night or she had been doing lots of things that day but it was at 1pm.
Now to present, I mentioned I was going to see a new movie coming out on its opening weekend. And she again asked to go but I absolutely refused because it would be a waste of money if she wasn’t going to pay attention whatsoever. AITA?
Comments
^^^^AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read this before contacting the mod team
For reference I know this isn’t a huge deal but it just bugs me a lot. Me and my girlfriend have very different tastes in movies/tv shows which is totally fine. Occasionally she will ask me to watch something with her that’s not exactly in my realm but I’ll do my best to enjoy it as much as possible. But with her it is the complete opposite. She will be on her phone scrolling, not paying attention, or just stop watching entirely.
I’m not saying she has to think it’s the greatest piece of entertainment ever but It would nice for her to at least act like she’s interested. A couple months ago I told her I was going to see the new Nosferatu movie and she insisted that she wanted to come. I told her that it might not be her thing and that it is about 2 and a half hours long, but she still wanted to go. Yet, when we get there are start watching she’s complaining about how long it is and chuckling at parts for whatever reason.
The last straw for me is that I really wanted her to try and watch the Walking Dead with me because I want a new show to binge together. And not even 20 minutes into the first episode she fell asleep. It would be a different story if it was at night or she had been doing lots of things that day but it was at 1pm.
Now to present, I mentioned I was going to see a new movie coming out on its opening weekend. And she again asked to go but I absolutely refused because it would be a waste of money if she wasn’t going to pay attention whatsoever. AITA?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I refused to let my girlfriend come with my to see a new movie because I believe that she wouldn’t pay attention in the slightest. I could be the asshole because I know she might just want to spend time with me.
Help keep the sub engaging!
Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ
Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA, she’s being disrespectful. I’ll bet that if you did the same, she wouldn’t be happy.
Info:
How wasn’t she paying attention during the horror movie, it reads that she watched it and found a few parts funny???
NTA, you two are allowed to have your separate hobbies and events.
NTA. She wants the couple experience but doesn’t respect your interests. Movie theaters are expensive – save your money and sanity.
As long as she’s not texting in the theater who cares? She’s there with you. That’s the point. YTA
NTA! It’s okay to keep your movie genres and the hobbies you like, separate, especially if you are being disrespected.
I am so thankful my husband doesn’t try to force me to watch the walking dead with him. I even make him close the door so I can’t hear those stupid zombie noises.
But I can’t even imagine him not allowing me to watch, even if i did fall asleep. And refuse to allow me to come to a movie with him?
YTA
ESH, or maybe no one does?
Her falling asleep watching an episode of a show at home isn’t “disrespectful”, it is just her being comfortable at home and not being engaged with the show. Sure, you could decide that isn’t the new show for you two to binge together, but she wasn’t being disrespectful. On the flip side, odd that you wanted that to be a show to binge together when you know that isn’t the type of show she would enjoy.
Her laughing at parts of a horror movie is also not disrespectful, her saying repeatedly during the movie that it was too long is disrespectful because you are trying to watch and enjoy it, not have a side conversation or know she is bored.
I think you are being overly sensitive and having expectations of how she should engage with stuff you like, and it is feels like you want her to know she isn’t invited because she doesn’t respond how you want her to, not just because you don’t think she will enjoy the movie. That makes you an AH.
She also should realize that she hasn’t been a great viewing partner, so shouldn’t be asking to come or watch stuff when she has a record of not liking it. The behavior you point out in the two examples just isn’t rude or AH behavior for the most part, but her scrolling, saying something is too long, or talking during a show/movie is rude, and that makes her a bit of an AH too.
Just go to this stuff without her, but don’t TELL her in advance about movies you want to see so then you can actively tell her she can’t go with you.
NTA
My husband and I also have a very different taste in movies, tv shows and even music. On more than one occasion we have gone to movies and concerts without each other. Its perfectly normal. We have even gone to dinner together and then went to the movie theatre together and then both saw different movies that were playing at the same time and then met back up after the movie and went to the arcade or for drinks. You do not have to do everything together. In fact, its healthy in a way to also have your own interests and things you do apart.
YTA – she’s not allowed to chuckle at parts of the movie? She fell asleep at home watching television – how is this disrespectful? You sound hypersensitive about it.
Too bad for her, the first season is the best of TWD. Otherwise, it’s fairly snoozeworthy.
First, TV Shows are a commitment. If you want to pick a show to binge, you need something that you are both interested in. I lived the Walking Dead but I know better than try to convince my wife to watch it.
You think she’s being inconsiderate but she’s just being honest. Find something that you both like. Your tastes are different, you’re going to have to live with that. There’s going to be shows or movies that you like, there will be some that she likes. Pick something you both like and lean on those
NTA
It’s ok and even healthy to have your own interests.
It’s not a requirement to do every single thing together.
You guys need to accept that and stop trying to force each other.
NTA she not just disrespecting you she’s disrespecting everyone else there by whining and being on her phone. Please leave her at home. Some of us go to the movies for a bit of peace. She sounds awful.
need INFO…have you talked to her about her behavior before and how it makes you feel? If you haven’t, you are TA for not giving her a chance to make the decision to either change her ways or not go. If you have told her how this makes you feel, NTA.
NTA.
I go to A LOT of movies….at least 3-4/week. I learned a long time ago that my hubby and I have VERY different taste. (He still refers to movies he saw with me over 15 years ago as some of his worst movie experiences.) I am careful what I invite him to or suggest he see with me.
As I do not watch trailers or commercials for films I haven’t seen, I send him the Metacritic link to any movie so he can watch the trailer and see critic’s reviews. He then decides if he’ll come or not. Occasionally, I’ll tell him that he’s coming with me when I’m seeing movies for a second time that I know he won’t object to.
P.S. I was definitely NOT a fan of the most recent “Nosferatu.” Check out “Nosferatu the Vampyre” by Werner Herzog. It’s amazing.
Please do not take your girlfriend, or literally anyone else, who is going to pull out their phone during the movie and and scroll through it.
INFO Is she on her phone in the movie theater or is that something she just does at home?
YTA for being mad she fell asleep watching a TV show.
Honestly it sounds like she doesn’t respect your interests, she just wants to be there to supervise you.
NTA, you both can have your own stuff to watch but if my wife ever started browsing her phone while we are watching something together, you can bet the farm I would call her out on it.
We don’t do that (browse phones) when we watch something together.