Hey everyone, I’m about to turn 32 next month. I’ve always wanted to be in a long-term relationship that turns into marriage. I’ve had boyfriends throughout my 20s but none of them would’ve been good partners for me long-term. I haven’t had a good picker 😂
I know life doesn’t revolve around men. That said, my parents have a really beautiful relationship, and I’d very much like to find a partner to share life with and have kids with. I’m doing the work in therapy, I’m dating, and I’m starting to look at my previously naïve tendencies and overly trusting nature with a lot more scrutiny. Recently getting hurt made that necessity.
There’s so much negativity out there about what it means to be single over 30 especially as a woman. Does anyone have success stories they can share about meeting their partner after 30? What did that look like for you?
Comments
I don’t but I’m 32 and feel exactly like you do. Just messaging for solidarity!😊
As you wait for responses, would recommend a quick search. Lots of great stories have been shared here already
I was single most of my 30s.
But the disclaimer is that I have no interest in having kids or any strong desire towards marriage.
So I learned to do all the things I wanted to- alone. I bought a house, I tried different jobs, I tried different hobbies, I started traveling solo more. I learned to count on myself and waited until
Someone actually added to my life. I dated around but nothing serious because I don’t need to be on the marriage/children escalator.
I met my boyfriend about a year and a half ago while traveling and our relationship has been great. He has added to my life and we are super compatible. It is long distance for the forseeable future but it’s still a partnership where I feel seen, heard and understood. We have done all the things I have wanted to do with a boyfriend and then some.
It works for is because we are on the same page about most of our goals.
My advice- learn to embrace your life and do the things you want to do. You can meet all kinds of new people if you put yourself in situations to meet people in low key, non-romantic settings. And those are the connections that can end up being relationship matches because you have already established common interests and can get to know them without pressure.
I was 31 when I met my husband. We both recently moved to the same city for work. At that point, I did a lot of work in therapy and realized it’s not about me making someone love me, it’s about finding someone who works with my life and makes it better. Rejecting anything less than that was new to me. I started building a beautiful life for myself only, so I was not desperate to have someone in it.
He did individual therapy before meeting me as well to process an abusive parent.
I’m about to turn 35 and we’ve just celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary.
I’m 32 still single and honestly think it’s hard to find the one anytime soon… Commenting for solidarity… we’ll make it inshallah 🥰
I guess technically I met my partner at 29. I’m 33 now and getting married in the summer.
Took probably 100 dates for me to meet him. I was relentless on the apps.
Getting engaged wasn’t a life changing event if i’m honest.
Sure, it was a beautiful moment that made me cry but I was never one of those people who thought “OMG I GET TO TICK THE BOX FINALLY”, i’m not wiping my brow with relief because i’m now out of the “singles” category… that just seems so ridiculous and superficial at this stage in life.
There’s still a risk that my partners character could completely flip and he could leave me for a 21 year old.
There’s still a risk he could become an avid trump supporter or gamble all our savings away.
There’s a risk that he could be diagnosed with cancer and die in the next few years.
There’s a risk he could be on his bike and get fatally hit by a car.
Then he’d be gone, and i’d be alone. Does that make me a failure because I tried to love and ended up alone?
Nothing in life is guaranteed. Love is painful. Tha’ts why we grieve people… because we love them. But I think its worth it. Not just romantic love, but aiming to cultivate love for/with family, friends and anyone who sincerely wants to see you happy in this world.
I don’t have family support, and I had a medical scare recently that had me anxiously sitting a waiting room wondering if my days were numbered. I’d done this before two years prior, and I was alone without my mom because she had shunned me due to religion, and it sucked more than you can imagine. When my partner walked in unannounced to join me for the wait, with his work laptop under his arm… it felt the same as if a sibling, best friend or parent were to show up for me. I felt profoundly understood and cared for.
This is the kind of love that is important to aim for, don’t settle for anything less in any of your relationships.
I can’t tell you for sure that you will find romantic love, but you can create a home for it to arrive at should you ever stumble across a great candidate for it.
I think living with that at the forefront of our lives is the most important way forward.
That’s what i’ve learned in my search for love.
I’m 35, the biggest takeaway for me has been – yes, I can survive on my own, I can financially support myself, though it’s stressful some months, I am independent, I do have great friends and family, I am OKAY on my own. HOWEVER, it’s still okay to want a relationship and yearn for that, and feel like something is still missing without it. Both can be true at once.
I am at the point where I’m burnt out of the pressure to still smile and prove all of this ^^^^ while single.
I do have hope, but finding a man who is decent and wants to care for you deeply is tough. But I’m hopeful for us !
I’m 33 and I feel you ♥️ I was on dating apps before I completely gave up, and when I did, I met a gem. We’re still figuring things out. But I realized that if I think I’m an okay person on dating apps, someone out there can match my energy. And I think I found a good one! Don’t give up, it sucks and it’s draining but it is worth it if this is what you’re looking for!
I found an amazing partner when I compromised on looks and charm. He has literally everything else in spades. I can’t believe I waited until my 40’s to learn this.
I don’t recommend online dating and I don’t recommend waiting for the guy to find you. Go find him.