Growing up, my dad wasn’t the emotional type. No “I love you,” no hugs. Just quiet nods, the occasional “good job,” and a lot of lectures about responsibility. I always thought we were distant — like we just didn’t get each other.
But when I moved out after college, something changed.
The night before I left, he handed me an envelope. Inside was a folded piece of paper with a list:
“Things to remember when living alone.”
It had stuff like “Don’t skip breakfast,” “Call your mom,” and “Keep cash in your drawer — just in case.”
That was the first time I really felt his love — not through words, but through preparation.
He didn’t say “I’ll miss you.”
He said, “Text me when you reach. Roads get slippery after 6.”
Now, every time I get a text like,
“Did you eat?”
“Saw there’s rain in your area.”
or just
“You working late?”
…that’s love. Quiet. Consistent. Unapologetically dad-like.
I used to think love had to be loud. But I’ve come to realize:
Sometimes love is just… making sure you have a blanket when the weather turns cold.
Anyone else relate to this kind of “silent but solid” parenting?
Comments
That’s very sweet. What a memento to be able to keep forever. Do you say, “love you too, Dad” or show your love in a similar type way to him since that’s his way?
My dad did express his feelings while I was growing up. Now, whenever we talk over the phone, he says he prays for my wellbeing. I always shed a tear.
This post is wholesome, but I’d like to advise any fathers out there that ‘showing’ love whilst difficult, is a responsibility towards your child.
And definitely not in the form of beating them up with the excuse “I’m doing this because I love you” as my father liked to do
Sounds like my dad 🥹
My mom was shit, and my dad was absent but I had wonderful aunts, uncles and a grand parent.
Sometimes I woke up to see my uncle has driven over and is just checking the air in my tires.
Shit like that is LOVE.
I don’t believe in the words “I love you” because words are just that – sounds you can make when you want to. What your dad did is real love, the one that is shown, not told.
My dad is a man of flat expression of emotions and a bit distant. But bro, for 13 years from kindergarten to the end of high-school, he would insist on driving me to and from school, because in his eyes I was simply too small in that oversized backpack. I was a scrawny small quiet kid, and he never ever wanted me to be at risk walking to and from school, even when I asked later how come he insisted to drive me instead of me taking the bus and the train, like I did during high school eventually. He is not a morning person. He doesn’t want to drive everywhere, prefers taxi. When I was in another country studying, he would call everyday saying, you good? And I was like, yup, have this class or that one later, and he was like alright, good, bye. Now think that kind of checking in for 3 kids.
My standards are sky high and I’m proud of it.