I(23F) have been best friends with this girl since we were 10. We grew up together, shared everything—school, heartbreaks, family drama. I really thought she was my ride or die.
A couple years ago, a guy she knew messaged her saying he wanted to talk to me. She encouraged it. Said he was nice, that I should give him a chance. So I did. We started talking, and eventually started dating. Only after we got together did she mention that they had “almost dated” before, but she turned him down. It felt weird, but she insisted she wasn’t into him anymore, so I let it slide.
Later, she told me he had a long, messy history with a girlfriend of six years. They’d break up, he’d date around, and then always go back to her. Basically, I was just one of those “in-between girls.” But I liked him and thought maybe it would be different with me.
Spoiler: I wasn’t. And he got back with his ex
I was heartbroken. I cried for weeks, and my best friend was there through it all—comforting me, telling me he was trash, acting like she had my back. Not once did she say she still had feelings for him.
Fast forward two years. He was still dating that same girlfriend when he messaged her again. She told me he was just being annoying and that it was nothing serious. Then suddenly they’re texting constantly, flirting, and he starts sending her gifts and saying he likes her again. And then he broke up with his girlfriend.
Eventually, I find out he’s spending the night at her place. That’s when she finally tells me, “I’ve always liked him. I just didn’t want to say anything before.”
I honestly felt like I got punched in the chest. I’m not even mad at him anymore. I’m hurt that she could watch me go through everything with him, knowing how I felt—and still end up with him. And somehow, I’m the one being called dramatic and immature for not being okay with it.
We’re not speaking anymore. And honestly, I don’t think I even want to fix it.
I feel stupid, betrayed, and like I lost two people at once. But maybe I lost her a long time ago.
Comments
Don’t worry. He’ll eventually dump her and get back with his ex again.
Gotta know how this guy has done this bit multiple times and continues to get away with it.
That guy has some serious game if there’s all these girls hung up on over one guy. I’d wager he got the looks to back it up too sending all these women on delusions of who he really is.
It’s very likely that she was using you to test on whether he finally left his gf and also keeping within her orbit.
There’s nothing here to fix and I hope you’re able and happy to leave this behind you.
You should watch this season of White Lotus. There is a similar friend dynamic there but they are older but there are hints the dynamic goes back years.
you know what happened to the little boy who kept jumping on different stones? me neither. because inconsistent people are irrelevant and get tuned out eventually. keep your chin up. you tried your best, they didn’t deserve you.
Girl, I hope you mean ex best friend.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. The guy turning out to be an asshole leading you on is one thing, but you’re friend doing that to you is another level. If it makes you feel better it sounds like he’s not serious and just plays games with people, and she’s just the next one in his string of girls. But it doesn’t really fix the fact that she hurt you.
It really sucks when childhood friends turn their back on you. Not much can be said to make it better. Give yourself time to feel hurt, to process it, and focus on already existing friends and forming friendships with people who are less toxic.