Is it normal to be borderline completely and utterly terrified of the future as a man in your early 20s?

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Well idk if this is the right subreddit to ask this or not, but i am a 20year old dude and i literally get panic attacks even thinking about the future, the only person I didn’t used to be like this but genuinely open up and let my guard down around rn is my mother. I have no many goals but idk what my place is. Idk what it means to be a man. Idk what’s gonna happen to me and I’ve been letting myself go, writing has become my therapy and sometimes (tbh often) ill stay up until 3 or 4 reading, writing and smoking pot but that’s it rlly, that and my music taste has become a lot more old school and reflective recently and I still work out so that’s good ig. What if I don’t end up actually successful and happy like my dad and most of my family members. Idk

Comments

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  2. Butthole_Ticklah Avatar

    Welcome to life, man!

    “Time is life’s greatest teacher. Unfortunately it kills all of its students” Robin Williams

  3. SignalEchoFoxtrot Avatar

    Stop the weed.

    Go to bed every day before 11pm and sleep 8.5 hours.

    This is self induced anxiety.

  4. CariaJule Avatar

    Everything you’ve said sounds normal. Keep writing, don’t smoke so much, get some healthy habits. Exercises can help with the anxiety. Read or listen to Alan Watts if you haven’t. My buddy is a good writer, he went into education, and it’s working well for him. Don’t be so hard on yourself, you got this.

  5. sowokeicantsee Avatar

    There are lots of people that make up a society,
    You are quite a few standard deviations of normal to be this anxious and introverted about it all.

    I would say its very abnormal.

    The real issue though is “Do you care?” like if you dont mind living at home and barely going outside and not making much of your lfie and youre ok with that then just do you. Life is good.

    If you dont like yourself then what are you gonna do about then ?

  6. Horfer126 Avatar

    Weed is going to cause anxiety (medically proven) and waste your time and brain power. Sleep, exercise and thats awesome that you are writing a lot. And yes its normal but also this is the best time of your life you should enjoy the shit out of it.

  7. NightOnFuckMountain Avatar

    For being 20? Sounds normal to me. You get over that though

  8. osterlay Avatar

    Honestly, no. It’s perfectly fine to be a little anxious over your own future and upcoming challenges but full blown panic attacks and being terrified is not normal.

    Like others suggested, stop smoking pot and fix your sleeping habits. Do the basics such as setting a normal routine and see how you feel.

  9. Matchetes Avatar

    Being afraid of the future is very normal but this seems more than that. You sound a bit like me though when I was younger. I was so immobilized by my fear that I would be a failure that it theatened to become a self fulfilling prophecy. I needed to get a handle on my anxiety in order to move forward. The upside is you’re incredibly young and have plenty of time to figure it out. Trying not to take life so seriously is a good first step

  10. Only-Finish-3497 Avatar

    When I was 20 (long time ago, but still) I was traveling, studying abroad, doing research projects, and working while putting myself through undergrad. Nothing was like what you described.

    You need to get clean, get a career path, and get some mental healthcare.

  11. Exciting-Gap-1200 Avatar

    Act like an adult and you’ll feel like an adult.

    Dress the part, drink responsibly, smoke infrequently, eat healthy, exercise, limit conflicts with others, keep a tidy home and vehicle, etc.

    It’s amazing how pretending becomes reality

  12. Rlyoldman Avatar

    When I was 20 the only part the future played in my life was the choices I made. I worked, I partied, and I enjoyed life. I’m 72, the Reaper still hasn’t touched my shoulder and it has worked out fine.

  13. Dieghog Avatar

    I know I’m old because I read your post and was like. “These damn kids don’t know how to write ” but besides that, normal. I still get anxiety about my future.

    But weed is anxiety inducing, maybe stop that for a while.
    If you have few goals maybe that’s better, localizes your efforts, focus on the one that’s the most achievable and work from there.

  14. COMadShaver Avatar

    If you’re not terrified, what’s going to motivate you? Get on it man! Tick tock tick tock.

  15. Smackolol Avatar

    Idk people are telling you this is normal, it’s not. You should have some hope and aspirations of some kind so figure out what those are and work towards them, you can always change your mind along the way as you gain life experience. Also cut the weed and go to bed earlier.

  16. Newparlee Avatar

    In 2025? Not at all. The world is fucked!

  17. Bagman220 Avatar

    Yeah, when I was a kid I was terrified of being old and dying. Now as I get older, it sounds kinda peaceful.

    The more experience you get in life, the easier it is to manage.