I attended a bachelorette dinner and was told it would be 65/person. It was also mentioned that we could add a drink package onto it if we wanted. This was written out in a text weeks before the event along with all the other events prices and details. The day after the dinner one of the girls asked for our Ven to request money for whatever events we attended. When I saw that charge I decided to text her and ask if I accidentally got charged for a drink package as I also didn’t drink and only had one NA beverage. She was short and cold about it and said no one told her anything so she just split the bill evenly. She then redid math and said my new total was 110 with tax tip and splitting the brides which I was fine with but was just confused by the huge discrepancy in what I thought I was paying. Would you have asked in this situation? I’m not one to stand up for myself and when I do I feel like I’m sometimes met with annoyance which further reinforces my resistance to again in the future.
Edited to add Side note: I didn’t know any of these girls except the bride and our one mutual friend who was there with me. There 15 total
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Dump her- she’s rude – and speak up
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Maybe 65 was the estimated cost. You said she split up the bill. Maybe it just came out to more than expected and part of the extra cost was for the bride.
You need to just speak up and be direct.
“They said $65. Your friend said $135. Those are different numbers. Hence, I’m questioning this”
I went on my first fancy bachelorette last year. At the first meal, the MoH split the bill equally – which was not agreed upon before hand. Thankfully someone quickly spoke up and took over meal billing for the whole weekend.
Myself and one other person had gotten just an appetizer that first meal, and our faces when we were asked for $80 were like “excuse me”. There was confusion because folks who could not go had contributed monetarily and the MoH had ordered wine for the based on that, I think. But still.
Honestly $110 might be about right depending how many people split the brides share.
$65 + 30% (tax, tips, fees) =$84, bride probably got the drink package and maybe another drink? So what $90 + 30% =$117.00/4=$29.25 +84=$113.25.
If you were with like 10 others and split the bill then it doesn’t make as much sense, but still doesn’t seem off by a huge amount. It sucks it’s more than you thought, def was worth confirming especially since you didn’t drink and that tends to add a lot. But maybe you’ll feel better if you didn’t get scammed and just had to spend more.
You did what you could. If it was 65 per person you shouldve only paid like 80 max. Tip might have been a bigger portion. I wouldve followed up and had her breakdown the 110 but if you dont know her you dont really have to hang out with her again.
Crummy way to treat a bride’s maid who is already on the hook for a lot of $$$ extras, including time. Bride can say she didn’t know and if that’s true then why is she doing the splitting of the bill? I think u had every right to ask and even tho I am not cheap, I would have asked for more details, saying it’s important for u to understand. So, being generous….$65 + $10 (NA drink) $13 (tip)+ $7 (tax) = $95. $110 isn’t egregious error but it’s something and you deserve to understand.
Brides lose their minds and get mean too fast. Just cuz they are splurging doesn’t mean u can/should.
Promise us that when you marry you will remember to be a decent human being so u can keep your friends, you will need and want them later.
The original price should have included splitting the brides plus tax and tip or should have stated that tax and tip would be added later.
The person sending the Venmo should have been the same person who took everyone’s order and sent out the estimates.
I FUCKING HATE THIS SHIT. I order a small side salad while the other person orders 5 beers and some Patron shots and we gotta’ split it evenly somehow?
This is a tough one as this is an event where you clearly have to make a choice to continue with the friendship and just pay or you say something and move on.
My wild guess? A few people didn’t want to pay (maybe her) and she made everyone else make up the difference.
Not sure how close of a friend she is but I would just consider this her wedding gift and un-invite your self.
The new total makes directional sense. $65 before tap and tip and the splitting of the bride’s tab.
Nope. If I was told $65, that’s what I would pay.
Anytime someone says they split the bill, that usually means 3 or 5 of the 10 people drank excessive amounts or ordered expensive items.
Thank you, I’ll pay for what I ordered…..
Ask early, pay early. That’s my motto. When she initially said $65/pp, immediately ask “is that before or after tax&tip?”
If it’s before, then immediately make a mental note of $65 + 30% =$84.50
Once you get that answer, ask “are we all also splitting the bride’s dinner?” When they say no, that’s extra, just respond with “thanks. Got it!”
Find out the Venmo info a week before. Then, the day before, day of, or an hour before dinner, do your final total of $84.50/14=$6.04 + $84.50 =$90.54.
Then round up to the nearest amount you are comfortable with and venmo the $$ before anyone asks. In this case that could be $91 or $95 or $100. Then when you greet the host at dinner, say “I just Venmo’d you for my dinner and my share of the bride’s.
This not only itemizes your own expectations (additional charges add up fast) but also keeps you from being taken advantage of. It also keeps you safe from impulsive rounds of alcohol you don’t intend to drink.
I think the two questions are:
If the answer to 1 is “no”, then just go ham. If it’s “yes” or “maybe”, then consider what else you did. If you were polite and chill, she should have no issue explaining things. But if she did all the work organizing, and you complained about the rooms, the food, the reservation time, that other people were drinking etc, that’s how she could be annoyed and cold at you. Again, there’s no indication you did that, but I’m trying to put myself in her shoes.
Sorry, but my great aunt twice removed is having root canal surgery and I won’t be able to attend. Tarts and pears …
This is why I hate splitting the bill.
I guess, would it be okay for any other thing to be told one price and then charged close to double? Like at the dentist or the restaurant, etc..
No, I would not pay. I’d pay what I agreed at the start. It’s not my fault if people can’t plan properly. Invited guests are only told a price, and they pay it, not double.
Decline the request, no matter $165 or $110 and pay your $65. If questioned say you were told $65 for you and portion of bride, you ate/drank/tax/tip well within that range and with 14 other people splitting for bride that total still fits.
People play stupid games and win stupid prizes. It’s not your fault or your problem that others may have not been financially responsible and went wild with their bills. You are paying your portion of you and bride, don’t let them bully you.
I would let her know that your total is $70 and would she prefer to venmo the correct amount or an alternative way to pay. You were quoted a price. If they are hoping to steal money of everyone to cover their own expenses that isn’t your responsibility
You ladies are confusing. For a guys trip. We get or share a hotel. Like I’ll get my own and pay that for my own. 2 other friends who know each other will probably share a roo. And they split that. The best man get a room and pays for that and shares with the groom. Bar hopping. You get the first round, I’ll get the second round and so fourth. Dinner, drunk pizza back in the best man’s room and more drinking.