okay he’s not like a total jerk about it all the time but he hates when I talk about it and asks me to stop if I do and today I accidentally left a bit of blood inside the toilet seat and he got pretty pissed at me and said “if you’re gonna leave blood in the toilet just let me know so I don’t have to come home to it..” I was like….ok I’m really sorry that I was cursed with womanhood and that you’re totally disgusted by my biology!!!
Comments
it is indicative of a poor character in one way or another
Maybe he’s squeamish around blood?
Complete immaturity. How old is this clown ? Tell him that if he doesn’t like dealing with the bad days he doesn’t get the good days either . 😑
Being bothered by talking about it is kinda weird unless you’re giving like super graphic descriptions of it and he’s really squeamish…
But why aren’t you flushing if there’s blood in the toilet? This seems like it could be easily resolved by just flushing?
It’s one thing to be like hey that’s gross can u clean up ur blood and a whole other to react like that 🙄
Yeah, that’s not okay.
You need to have a talk with him. Ask him why it grosses him out when it’s a normal bodily function. Maybe tell him that if he keeps complaining about it you’ll pick a random bodily function and act the same way with him about it.
Yeah, that’s a red flag with a side of immaturity and a sprinkle of “boy, grow up.”
Clean the toilet. Anyone would and should be disgusted by that.
Yes, but I don’t know if it’s because it’s a period specifically.
Living with another human being means that others human’s fluids are, someday, going to get on your things. It might be blood. It might be spit, or vomit, or, if you’re a little unlucky, some waste. It’s not going to be on purpose. It’s not going to be the plan. But it’s going to happen.
How he responds to this is an indicator of how he’s going to respond to similar stuff in the long term, and you have to decide if you’re comfortable with that.
I hope he’s living up to his own standards and is absolutely fastidious about his little leftovers. You could take that into consideration as well.
What’s more of a concern is his inability to even discuss it. Discussing health stuff with your partner is, quite frankly, even more important. He should be aware of and able to handle that. (Being faint when discussing blood is a super-normal thing though, and not restricted to men – gotta work around that too without being too dismissive, because it you make it too much about gender, you might not be communicating well.)
Only if hes older than 16.
yeah it’s a red flag. ime, men will “other” women by acting really performatively grossed out by period blood. like there’s something fundamentally unclean about normal body stuff. it’s a childish “boys rule girls drool” kind of soft misogyny that we get taught as boys.
some people are legitimately squeamish about blood, but it sounds like that’s not what we’re looking at here.
Meh, idk, hard to tell from here. Did he shout that, add a lot of attitude, say it jokingly or calmly and casually throw it out there? Like I’m definitely grossed out by my own period for my whole life, but it’s not a sign that I hate myself, it’s just gross to me. And I definitely feel it’s unacceptable for people to leave public toilet seats bloody.
But if he can’t differentiate between a gross bodily function and you and your body, then yeah, huge red flag.
Is he also weird about other body functions, like burping, farting, pee, poop, etc? People have to accept that SOME grossness is just part of life, especially if you spend decades together in close proximity. Him being unable to deal with even a little bit of it is worrying. I assume you’re generally clean and it’s not like you’re leaving blood everywhere, that this happens rarely (I did have a college roommate who left period blood drips on the bathroom floor all the time, I didn’t like that since I was always careful cleaning up after myself)
Is he himself also clean? It would be really hypocritical if he leaves urine on the toilet seat but gets on your case about your period.
I feel like the way he scolded you was not ok. It sounded really passive aggressive and judgemental.
Just because it’s a natural body thing does not mean it’s an appropriate thing for discussion much like you wouldn’t just casually describe in detail the shit you took the other day You should keep descriptions and discussions of your period to a minimum and it’s perfectly understandable for someone to be a bit uncomfortable with discussions of these fluids
No, that’s a normal reaction to bodily fluids left on a toilet- seriously, clean up your act
Its only a red flag if he’s not willing to get over it. A lot of people, some women included, are grossed out by periods. Just break it down flat, its a normal bodily function; just like pooping, body oder, burping, and farting. If he ever plans to be with a woman let it go, buy pads, and figure out her list of period needs (candy, steak, a good movie).
I guess that would depend on how he reacts to other bodily functions. like periods are body secretion so being somewhat grossed out about them is fine but if he is acting specifically grossed out by periods but not other stuff like snot, poop or regular blood then yeah that’s a a bit of a red flag in my opinion.
Like you said he really flipped out over there being some period blood left not flushed. Does he have similar reactions to if there is a little bit of poop left on the inside of the bowl after flushing? If yes then he might just be easily disgusted by body functions in general and if not then it means he is reacting specifically to the period which is problematic.
Seems like he’s immature and or possibly blood phobic. If he were my guy I’d have a nice chat with him about the response and see why it’s such an issue.
Clean up after yourself… are you an adult or not…
The hottest thing I ever experienced was period sex. It was all over to the point I was alarmed and he was so into it. You need a different dude
I’d respond with something like this :
Ok sure, I’ll get right on top of that, no more bleeding. On another note, if you could never ever fart or shit again, that’d be greeeeaaat.
You’re farting right now! … Oh wait, that’s not a fart, that’s the bullshit coming out of your mouth, is your ass jealous? It’s probably scared that your mouth is taking it’s job.
But don’t take my advice, I’m a complete asshole.
I’ve left a bit of blood on the the underneath of the toilet seat before too and my husband just cleans it for me. My son will just leave the toilet seat up because he is a bit grossed out by it and when I go to the bathroom next I’ll see it and be like OH, oops and I’ll clean it. It’s not that big of a deal. Just like if they flush and the poops comes back up, I’ll just re flush it if I see it, it’s not that big of a deal.
maybe he should go date a man if he hates periods so much, lol? kind of comes with the territory of living with a woman, no? you’re going to see a little blood sometimes. I scrub the toilet every time I pee on my period lest my brothers get a fright and sometimes it still comes back down from the back in a watery red colour. blood is heavier than pee. 🤷🏼♀️
Not all men. Some of us have no problem with it. If the woman is in the mood, I’ll gladly have fun with her.
it seems a tad over reacting, but if he pissed on the seat, how would you react?
Yeah it’s a huge red flag. Immature and also how will you ever have a long term relationship?
I have never had this issue with a man and I can’t even imagine. Would dump immediately
Huge red flag.
Walk away.
If he cannot handle a little period, than imagine what he’d do with a baby? I am not sure he gets that being a human has a lot of parts that involve a lot of fluids and things…. Not saying I love them all, but, “…so I don’t have to come home…” is a little bit of a dramatic response to something so mundane to being a human.
I wonder how he feels about UFC. I’ll bet blood from a nose in a fight is totally acceptable….
Your boy*
he sounds like a boy. 50% of the population have periods, its not like you’re deliberately leaving bloody tampons all over the house. He needs to get a grip. God help you if you ever have a baby and are bleeding for 6 weeks he would never help you
Yes. That’s a huge red flag. You can already tell that he won’t be there with you through sickness and through health, not if he can’t even handle a god damn period.
I mean based on that one interaction being the only thing I know about the guy?
Yeah he sounds like a piece of shit.
I guess he either grew up in a toxic masculine household or he has serious problems with human body fluids in general. Whatever it is,that’s not a good sign. It shows the immaturity of him.
Sounds like a boy instead of a man to me
On the one hand he’s definitely handling it poorly, on the other hand leaving any form of bodily fluids on a toilet seat is pretty darn gross.
Curious the age of both of you.
Men who are weird abouts periods usually aren’t close to many women and have little understanding (or tolerance) of women in general. It’s typically indicative of greater misogynistic views. However, as others have said, if he’s just a germaphobe and also upset by other bodily fluids, that’s another story.
How old is he??
*boy
Yes
Yeah babe dump him
Asking to clean up after you use the toilet is fine though obviously it should still be done respectfully like any communication in a relationship. His reaction seems extreme if he’s getting agro about it.
Tells you not to talk about it? Cool, if you’re too immature to talk about periods you’re too immature for sex, to have a baby, basically to have a grown up relationship lol. Periods happen every month so they’re gonna get a mention. Some people have a lot of health issues around their hormones and periods so if you can’t “handle” your partner talking about periods, you’re just a child 🤷🏼♀️
That’s not a man, that’s a boy. Being grossed out or feeling awkward about periods is immature as hell.
I think this question, like most times people ask for relationship advice, is tough to answer and you should take the comments with a grain of salt. The blood in the toilet sounds pretty bad, and if that is an isolated event and he hasn’t been a jerk like that again, it may just have been a bad day.
I would say it’s a red flag, but not necessarily the one and only reason to break up. Maybe this is a sign at a deeper seeded character issue, or maybe he’s a freak about this one particular thing, didn’t grow up with sisters, and will eventually get over it. I don’t think anyone is this thread has the knowledge to say which it is.
Just have a conversation about it though and stop talking to strangers on Reddit about it, then make a decision based on how that goes.
One time I accidentally left a little blood underneath the toilet seat and when my partner saw the blood, he ran to me and said “babe there is blood on the toilet seat, I think someone is bleeding!!” He was so concerned that someone was sick and dying that he completely forgot about periods. That was a long conversation where he also learned that tampons stay in for hours at a time. He said “Wait so women are just walking around with cotton inside of them?! For hours?! That can’t be the best solution, they have got to come up with something better!” He learned a lot that day and not once was he grossed out or disgusted.
If a man is grossed out by periods, he shouldn’t be with someone who is going to experience one every month.
Yes. Leave him
He seems to have a legitimate concern. Do you need to flush twice, or wipe it up?
Next time you see a bit of his semen, do a big, “Ew, gross!”
Yeah it is a red flag. While my husband doesn’t love talking about my period he wants to know what is going on, how to help me, and gage if I need to go to the ER (I have pcos so weird shit happens). My blood gets on stuff, again he doesn’t love it but can wipe it up and move on.
We also talk about his bodily functions too. As you get older gross medical stuff will likely come up. You will want someone that will support you through that.
If he isn’t squeemish he needs to grow up. Dude Dad has a pretty good video about the menstrual cycle you could show him.
Break up. If you stay now, then you are prolonging things and you. Oth won’t find the partners you are looking for.
Imagine if you reacted like this to any of his natural, recurring, involuntary bodily functions……
Well maybe if it weren’t flowing out of you like a garden hose… (you specifically) just kidding, yes, it’s a red flag. Periods are normal and any guy that’s overly sensitive to them is a wuss
He’s immature lol
There’s being uncomfortable with bodily fluids which, imo, is understandable, then there’s… that, which is just being an asshole.
If he’s not mature enough to deal with the biological reality of a vagina, he’s not mature enough to be intimate with one sexually.
Does he scrub the toilet bowl ecery time he takes a shit?
Does he clean the pee he sprays?
He’s a child
He definitely needs to grow up.
I mean sure you also possibly can try to be a little more considerate and do your best to minimize any mess. However if he isn’t willing to understand this is a normal part of biology and dealing with menstruation is part of living with a woman, well, then he isn’t ready for a live in girlfriend.
If you’re kids I guess not but as an adult woman I couldn’t be with someone so immature. Especially if you’re serious about each other and making a life together – if he’s this much of a baby about a little period blood accidentally left behind he’s gonna be useless if you have a kid (vaginal delivery or c section either way that shit gets gory) and in life people get sick and have to care for each other and he’d obv be useless at that too.
It’s not even a red flag imo just that he is a baby man lol you can’t even talk abt your period around him? 😭 he’s a silly goose
Yes.
I’m a woman and I’m grossed out by it
Depends if he has sisters. I had one brother growing up, so the reality of periods was a little gross to me when i first married my wife.
I got over it, but growing up there was never any conversation around the house of feminine products or cycles or anything.
My son is much less bothered because he overheard convo from his two sisters. Not that he is apart of those conversations, but it’s more out in the open.
Well it is a disgusting, awful, painful thing every woman has to go through every month. And anything with blood isn’t the most awesome sauce
If he has a genuine phobia of blood, OK, but if it’s just periods, then he’s probably just a bit lame.
I would say yes, it is a red flag. If he can’t deal with hearing about what comes out of a vagina, he doesn’t deserve to enter one.
Periods are a normal part of life when you have vagina, so if he wants to date someone who has one, he needs to grow a pair of ovaries and accept it as something that will come up in conversation.
~ Eclipse
Yeah I’ve personally got no problems with it. My girlfriend once said she’d like to have sex but she was on her period so she couldn’t. I said why not? I’d still do it. So we had sex. It was just like normal really but I didn’t go down on her.
Simple as that.
Clean up after yourself at the very least.
I read my husband the riot act over skid marks, so let’s just be a little more considerate with shared facilities, OK?
Why is almost everyone saying his a child, poor character, etc. Grow up, guys. i can’t even stand any form of blood.
While it’s not a reason to start a fight with a partner, there are a lot of people blood makes uncomfortable.
OP. You know your partner, and we don’t. You also know if he’s irresponsible or not. You have all the cards and we’re spectators. Good luck
I find- and I think we’ll all agree here –all bodily effluvia to be gross to a certain extent. Spit, blood, urine, semen, excrement, etc.
Now obviously when I’m making love to someone I don’t find their spit or jizz to be disgusting, but there’s a difference between sexual things happening in the heat of the moment vs stepping onto a room-temperature cum-sock at noon.
I’m an adult and I understand that sometimes people’s problems include gross things, but they’re still my loved ones. I’m sympathetic to my partner if they’re complaining about something gross like having diarrhea, but I would still be irked if they didn’t flush afterwards. My bus driver or coworker on the other hand would not find me quite so willing to listen and I’d expect more decorum. Is your partner a little immature to not even want to talk about the fact that as a woman you menstruate? Yes, I’d say so. But it is a red flag? Nah, not really.
I think it depends on how he reacts to other bodily waste products. If he’s consistent in his disgust it’s not necessarily a red flag it’s just someone who can’t handle it.
If it’s periods specifically then I would say he’s childish
Yes! A man who is grossed out by a period is immature and not worth your time.
depends on the tone guy used. but some people are grossed out or could even faint if they see blood so throw him a bone..