I can tell my girlfriend doesn’t like that I’m uncircumcised and it’s starting to bother me. advice?

r/

I can tell my girlfriend doesn’t like the fact that I’m uncircumcised. She doesn’t suck dick and says it’s just because she doesn’t like it, and she’s never tried it but somehow already knows it’s not for her. Of course I don’t want to pressure her into anything, but I can’t help feeling like that’s not the full reason.

She’s not really the horny type either she never initiates anything. She says there’s more to a relationship than just sex (and I get that), but it still makes me feel kinda unwanted sometimes. She’s a sweet girl and she’s pretty. We’re both 21, met last March as friends, and we’ve been together for 5 months now.

She still kisses me and shows affection, but she never wants to pull the skin back or really even touch me. At least that’s how it feels. We started having sex 2 months into the relationship and we mostly just do doggy or missionary. She doesn’t really touch my dick at all during it.

I don’t want to make it a big deal, but it’s been on my mind.

Comments

  1. ImpressiveGrocery959 Avatar

    Sounds like an incompatibility if she’s unwilling to play with your dong and it’s something that you want bro

  2. BackdoorBetsy Avatar

    Move on… She is not the one for you.

  3. fatkc Avatar

    Sounds like you’re doing a lot of thinking for her, she’s given you her reasons bubba. I would take her at her word. In bringing it up to her, tell her how you feel about it, not how you think she feels. Communication is key !

  4. Ireallyamthisshallow Avatar

    >I can tell my girlfriend doesn’t like the fact that I’m uncircumcised.

    Can you ? Because your evidence doesn’t suggest that:

    >She doesn’t suck dick and says it’s just because she doesn’t like it,

    Seems like she’s explained why.

    >she’s never tried it but somehow already knows it’s not for her.

    You ever tried being sodomised by a baseball bat? Or do you know you don’t like it already?

    >She’s not really the horny type either she never initiates anything. She says there’s more to a relationship than just sex (and I get that),

    For a second time, she’s given you a reason you’re just not accepting.

    >At least that’s how it feels.

    And this is really what the whole thing comes down to. You’ve got it in your head is the reason, but nothing I’ve said actually lends that to it being the case.

    This is a personal issue you need to work on. If the sexual issues are important then talk to her about them, however that doesn’t mean she will start blowing you or that cutting some skin off will change that.

  5. Broad-Country1336 Avatar

    If it is something that bothers you, there is nothing wrong with talking to your girlfriend. These things matter and eventually will take a toll on you and your relationship. If she cares she will hear you out.

  6. sammagee33 Avatar

    Get circumcised

  7. Mattturley Avatar

    Sounds like you are not sexually compatible, which isn’t the only thing in a relationship, but it’s a pretty damned big one.

  8. theWildBananas Avatar

    >I can tell my girlfriend doesn’t like the fact that I’m uncircumcised

    How do you figure that out? She told you she’s not into it plain and simple.

  9. prettydotty_ Avatar

    As a woman there’s two likely scenarios. 1. She’s just not super into sex at this time in her life. Also, most women don’t enjoy sucking dick PSA. 2. You have yet to figure out what she likes so she prefers kissing and other forms of intimacy.

    Dick’s aren’t pretty. They fulfill a function but it’s rare a woman thinks a penis is aesthetically pleasing circumcised or not. But if it bothers you that you aren’t circumcised get circumcised ig. But don’t be surprised your gf doesn’t act any different.

  10. AssuredAttention Avatar

    To be completely honest,, uncircumcised is gross looking. They smell and look like an alien sea anemone.

  11. WritPositWrit Avatar

    Nothing – absolutely nothing – in your post shows that your gf doesn’t like that you’re uncircumcised.

    She clearly is not that into sex or initiating and she does not enjoy performing oral. But that is probably just who she is.

  12. Gmroo Avatar

    Intact is the default. She is brainwashed.

  13. MxQueer Avatar

    First of all, dicks are meant to have foreskin. And there are people who don’t want to fuck with mutilated dicks at all. So there is absolutely nothing wrong with your dick. Most of “cut” people are victims. Yes sometimes there is no other medical choice and sometimes grown up male chooses to do it. But usually that is not the case.

    If she haven’t told you that she doesn’t like your gorgeous natural cock then there might be something else. Maybe she is lesbian or asexual but has not accepted herself. Maybe she has some mental health issues or something like that. Maybe she is very insecure. Talk with her.

    You’re young. I don’t think it’s very likely she is going to be more horny in future. I know Reddit is famous for recommending breaking up. Anyway, I do think you should think is this the life you want to have during rest of your life.

    Never get surgery for other person. It’s your body. You is who matter most. And she might leave. Then what. You’re stuck with permanently altered dick. Maybe your next spouse don’t want you because of that.

  14. TheHooligan95 Avatar

    I think it’s more likely that she has had bad experiences with it in the past and doesn’t want tp hurt you by bringing up comparisons or porn or something else (pop culture) has made her feel as if it’s degrading

    Speak up without making it into an argument.

  15. trojan25nz Avatar

    Dudes gonna cut himself and hope it leads to more blowjobs

    That seems unrelated and I don’t think will work

    But gl ig

  16. GottyLegsForDays Avatar

    Reasons aside, there are facts here you should be making choices based on, not your own conjectures. If she has a significantly lower sex drive, and the kind of sex/activities/acts you want are incompatible with the ones she enjoys, that’s real and a big enough deal.

    Incompatible sexual wants and needs are things that just happen. You have to decide if they are deal-breaker for you or not, no shame in either option. But either way, assuming your partner is lying to you is not the thing to do here.

  17. Mental_Kiwi2611 Avatar

    She needs to be stimulated!!! You have to make her feel like she wants it. I’ve been there before and listen to women’s advice. We’re mental creatures, you have to make her feel safe, you have to make her feel desired, compliment her and make her feel sexy, once you make her feel sexy follow that with making her feel like she’s the only woman you desire and she’s great at what she does. Make her feel desired during intercourse. Most women open up and do crazier stuff when they feel appreciated wanted and desired. Get out of your head and get into hers ✨
    and don’t forget foreplay! Give her a lot of foreplay and she’ll come around. And if she does eventually suck your dick guide her a little bit make her feel comfortable tell her she looks hot doing it make HER feel like this is for her and she’s amazing (even if she’s not good remember we’re mental creatures) make her feel like she’s the hottest girl ever. Stimulate her intimacy.

  18. Sparky678348 Avatar

    Break up, simple incompatibility

  19. hollow4hollow Avatar

    If this really is just about the non-circumcision, make sure your head is squeaky clean before she goes there. If you retract the foreskin when you’re hard and before she starts, there’s virtually no difference. But, this may be about more than just a tiny bit of skin.

  20. maestradelmundo Avatar

    Tell her you’d like to educate her about your penis. Take a shower. Clean carefully. Let her explore. Explain that she can pull the skin down; it won’t hurt.

    Women sometimes get together and complain about uncircumcized men. You can view this on Sex and the City.

    I don’t care if a man is cut or not. Just be clean.

  21. kaityypooh Avatar

    You need to express this. And tell her to put the shoe on the other foot! She wouldn’t want you to barely touch her.

    I think assuming her not touching you bc of not being circumcised is [possibly] why BUT you don’t know. You need to let her know that her not doing that & you not knowing why makes you feel some type of way. That’s fair. My partner isn’t cut & he’s not my first. Which means I’ve met plenty of ladies that don’t like it. But your girlfriend may not be comfortable with peen period lol. And you maybe are making it about being uncut, bc you’ve had an experience that’s made you insecure about it.

    Definitely need to just talk about it. I think some people like what they like but being completely rigid about genitalia when they all look very different but perform the same functions is unfortunate & dare I say shallow?

  22. 4ku2 Avatar

    I’d take her at her word. Women not liking oral isn’t uncommon

  23. baldtree00 Avatar

    Homie. Move on. She is not meeting your needs and you are going to resent her down the line or be become regretful.

    She isn’t doing anything wrong. But from the quick read, your wanting more than she is into. Nothing wrong with that at all. But try and know yourself. Go get yourself a girl who wants to get down. They are out there.

  24. grimblacow Avatar

    lol you’re reaching.

    Many girls don’t like giving blowjobs just like many boys don’t like or want to eat out . It’s kinda weird when you think about it. Pee comes out, they have a mustier smell smell down there, etc.

    first off, how’s your hygiene? Do you wash your ass, balls and all that before any sexual contact? Do you trim? Just like how men talk about not wanting pubes in the mouth, women do not want the same and also up the nose. She might find the idea of SUCKING on a dick gross. Do you go down in her without expecting sexual things after or before? Also, not everyone is sexually adventurous.

    You’re not sexually compatible, Thats okay!

  25. NoOneHereButUsMice Avatar

    Trying to force a relationship with a person with whom you’re sexually incompatible is hellish after a while. You keep waiting around thinking it’ll change. It doesn’t. It just gets worse.

  26. oh_my_godsof_olympus Avatar

    Maybe… I don’t know…. Talk to her? Instead of putting thoughts in her head and words in her mouth.

    Tell her that this is important to you. Or that her not initiating makes you feel unwanted or insecure. Help her be in a place mentally where she can be in the mood, lots of people (girls especially) can’t get in the mood if there’s chores to be done or they’re stressed about work etc.

    And if her response keeps being I’m just not that into sex then listen to her! And evaluate yourself that you may not be sexually compatible and if that is a deal-breaker for you or not.

  27. IncomeSeparate1734 Avatar

    Genitals never look appealing to me and I didn’t have to have experience sucking cock to know that I personally don’t like blowjobs because guess what, skin doesn’t taste good, cum is a gross substance I don’t want in my mouth, and gagging doesn’t feel good. Foreskin being there or not being there would make absolutely 0 difference.

    But I’m asexual and that’s how I personally feel about oral sex.

    There’s a whole bunch of reasons why she might not be engaging. She could feel inexperienced about what to do or self-conscious about getting things wrong. She might not be turned on enough because there’s not enough foreplay. She might feel turned off about bodies being gross and need sex to happen only after a shower. She might initiate kissing but pull away when things get spicier because she’s not in the mood to go all the way. She might have some feelings of being sex-repulsed but not understand it.

    Why don’t you talk to her and have an open discussion about both of your feelings about this?

    I’m married and my husband and I are able to make our relationship work because we communicate about things. We talk about what we want to do, what we’re willing to try, what’s off limits, why things are frustrating, how to make things better, assure one another that we won’t push or pressure, etc.

    If it turns out you’re incompatible, then that’s that. Nothing you can do. Part on good terms if you can. But don’t jump to the conclusion that you two aren’t a good match without frankly talking things out in a non-judgemental way. Sexual compatability isn’t a light switch of yes or no. It’s a process you learn together.

  28. jungchorizo Avatar

    get a circumcision and send it to me so i can re-circumcise

  29. miranto Avatar

    Get another one who actually likes you?

  30. gurjitsk Avatar

    I been in your shoes
    Ex just wasn’t into sex, all other aspects of the relationship were great. Would never initiate sex or give blowjobs. Love to cuddle and kiss, You can’t force her if she’s not into it, eventually it took a toll on the relationship. Sex is important to me, I don’t need it often but still want to feel desired. Relationships eventually ended and my gf after, sex was amazing. You’re too young to be in this position.

  31. hoodratchic Avatar

    New gf time. should probably find someone who doesn’t mind uncircumcised

  32. Extension-Panda-7288 Avatar

    Hmmm! How about a second opinion. Where are you located! Let me take her out for an absolutely wonder weekend! I will give you an answer, but you will lose your girlfriend.

    Also, let’s try the scientific method.

    Take your right hand and point a finger at her! Now count the fingers. Whichever direction has the largest percentage of fingers pointing is the source of the problem.

  33. elizajaneredux Avatar

    Ave you tried, you know, communicating with her openly about this concern?

    Also, the sarcastic she “somehow already knows it’s not for her” isn’t necessary. I’m guessing there is a lot of shit you wouldn’t put in your mouth because you “already know” you wouldn’t like it, even though you’ve never tried jt.

    You don’t sound compatible. And assuming you’re a more patient, kind person than you’ve shown here (and assuming you keep the peen clean), it sounds like you want a girlfriend who is more sexually enthusiastic and interested in your body.

  34. Extension-Panda-7288 Avatar

    Or, if math and statistics is not your strong suit. Perhaps you will be open to a Biblical principle?

    “Give, an it shall be given onto you…”
    Luke 6:38

    It’s more than a principle! It’s a promise!!!

  35. ConsistentEggplant27 Avatar

    As others have said, it seems like you’re projecting an insecurity into this situation that is unrelated from it. Nothing that you have said in this post implies that she doesnt like the fact that you’re uncircumcised.

    I highly suggest you go to her and express how you feel. That while you respect that she doesnt have a super strong sex drive and that you would never want to pressure her into doing things she doesnt want to, you also have needs and sometimes feel unwanted because you feel like those needs arent being properly met.

    Good communication is important, and if this relationship is important to you I think its important to be clear when there is an issue between the 2 of you instead of talking about it with others or with strangers online and hoping it will stop bothering you eventually.

  36. Alternative-Poem-337 Avatar

    Was she a virgin when you met?

    Does she enjoy sex when you have it?

    Does she orgasm when you are intimate?

    Have you discussed what you both like? How you both like to be touched and pleasured?

  37. BrianZoh Avatar

    Get a new gf.

  38. libananahammock Avatar

    Are you in high school? This sounds like something a high school dude would write 🙄

    If you’re not mature enough to talk to your partner, you’re not mature enough to have sex.

  39. hipdashopotamus Avatar

    Should maybe talk about it. If it doesn’t go well it might not be a great long term relationship. Gotta communicate

  40. AaronicNation Avatar

    Women like to be surprised, w​hat I would do is ge​t one of those little ring boxes, she’ll think it’s only an engagement ring, but then ​when she opens it, she’ll be thrilled to see your foreskin in there. You’ll be thanking me for this idea later.

  41. m2Q12 Avatar

    She may be asexual or carry religious baggage. I was this way before I left religion.

  42. Mafia_dogg Avatar

    My ex gf didn’t like oral either, it’s something she did end up not minding later in the relationship.

    It may change for you it may not, either way it’s normal and doesn’t mean she’s averted to you being uncircumcised.

    It comes off like you are insecure about being uncircumcised which is understandable but realize it’s not a big deal. Tbh I wish I was uncircumcised as I feel like im missing out on something when it comes to sex

  43. QuiGGz96 Avatar

    Start hiding her favourite treats under your foreskin

  44. adieuaudie Avatar

    *Trigger warning

    Just throwing this out there as a possibility. I have PTSD from sexual trauma, and just the thought of sex at times makes me feel disgusted. Maybe not, but statistics show 1 in 4 girls experience sexual trauma before the age of 18. Something to maybe think about…

  45. Basic_Quantity_9430 Avatar

    What is your hygiene like? When you are uncut, you really need to clean the thing daily by pulling back the foreskin and washing everything with soap and water for a few seconds, then drying off. And 1000% definitely do a wash up before any sex.

  46. creepygirl420 Avatar

    Honestly it just sounds like she either has a low sex drive or like you guys don’t have a ton of sexual chemistry.

    Do you give her head/make her cum? As a woman, I’m not interested in giving head unless I know I’ll be taken care of as well. Most of us don’t get any pleasure out of the act itself. I only enjoy it if I know it’ll be reciprocated because otherwise it just feels degrading.

    Either way you’re majorly jumping to conclusions and there’s like 100 other factors to consider before just assuming she doesn’t like your dick. There’s no need to feel insecure about being uncircumcised. It’s natural and many women prefer it, believe it or not.

  47. ProximaCentauriB15 Avatar

    Sounds like you aren’t compatible,I’m sorry.

  48. JJHall_ID Avatar

    Get a new GF that likes you the way you are. That’s all there is to be said.

  49. bluefancypants Avatar

    Sir,Is there the slightest chance that it stinks? This might be the issue.

  50. Wasps_are_bastards Avatar

    Sounds like she’s just not into sex, nothing to do with circumcision.

  51. screenshot9999999 Avatar

    FYI Adult circumcision is very painful and takes months to fully recover.

  52. nomaxxallowed Avatar

    Sounds like she has a lower sex drive than you

  53. az226 Avatar

    Sounds like you’re sexually incompatible.

    You can also say you’re intact. Uncircumcised posits that circumcision (genital mutilation) is the default.

  54. Lawduck195 Avatar

    Go get circumcised.

    It’s not bad. After getting mine done I couldn’t walk for nine months and didn’t talk to my parents for a while though.

  55. CatBoyTrip Avatar

    i stopped reading after second sentence. get a new girlfriend. you can’t spend the rest of your life with this person. you’ll never be happy.

  56. gotfanarya Avatar

    Get a different girlfriend.

  57. ManVsBugs Avatar

    As an uncut guy, Ive had partners who loved it and others who were indifferent, its rarely about the foreskin itself. Sounds like shes just not into certain acts, and thats okay, but you two might not be compatible.

    Plus hygiene is key. If youre uncut, you gotta keep it clean. like, pull back and scrub daily. If shes avoiding oral, it might not be the skin but whats under it.

  58. AristaWatson Avatar

    It’s not that you’re uncircumcised. Most men in the world are uncircumcised. And most women don’t give a rat’s ass. Men tend to be more judgey and insulting toward people’s genitalia and bodies in general than women are.

    Women also tolerate a lot more during sex than men will ever have to. For a lot of women, sex is not pleasant. Anything from their partner having poor hygiene to them experiencing pain during penetration to them not being given the opportunity to orgasm. It can be many things. An uncircumcised penis is only a problem when the man can’t wash it properly. So…😅

  59. PghSubie Avatar

    How often do you clean under there? Does she have a good reason to avoid that?

  60. davis214512 Avatar

    Get a less shallow gf. Or ask her how she feels about female circumcision.

  61. BookLuvr7 Avatar
    1. Pretty never lasts, and it’s a crap reason to be with someone.

    2. If you can’t love someone for who and how they are right now, rather than their potential or how great they’d be if they changed, then they’re not right for you.

    3. Nothing in your post indicates this is about your penis. Hygiene might be a concern, but if you keep yourself clean then your penis is not likely to be the issue. As a woman, I can tell you firsthand lack of hygiene can definitely make the hottest person repulsive.

    4. If it’s not your hygiene, chances are she just has a lower libido than you and isn’t into oral. You can try giving her oral first, but that approach is rather transactional. Still, if you don’t give it to her, it may not occur to her to reciprocate.

    5. Most important: always remember porn is fiction. If you have a problem, it’s best to just talk to her about it.

  62. jj4379 Avatar

    Sex is one of the main components to true intimacy and absolutely is required, because as you said it makes you feel wanted. Some people don’t want to feel wanted and therefore they don’t require it as much. But you do, you should speak to her about it because you shouldn’t be trying to love someone that isn’t showing you the level of intimacy you deserve. Unless she has some reason like trauma, then it doesn’t make sense.

    Do not modify your body to fit someone elses needs, you will entirely lose a ton of sensation and feeling. Its not worth it man, seriously don’t fucking do it