As a virgin in his early 30s, I am planning to finally lose my virginity by hiring an escort. It should be noted I have already had a virtual meeting and a massage session with her so we already are acquainted with each other. So just out of curiosity, can an escort be a good instructor in regards to having sex for the first time?
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What’s making you want to go down the path of an escort instead of finding someone that you can share this with without any transactions being involved?
Losing your virginity is only as big a deal as you’d like to make it, but we read frequently on here about the overwhelming sense of shame that can come to you after paying for sex, and as your first time I can’t imagine tainting it with that feeling would make you feel great?
I don’t see why not, they’re experienced and not likely to make fun of you for not knowing what you’re doing.
I would get those Hemmroids cleared up first.
If you met her already and trust her then why not? First time is always waaaay to overrated in peoples mind.
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Could not tell u strongly enough to not go ahead with this. U need to find someone real. Doesn’t matter how ugly or awkward or anything u are there is a person that I’m sure u can connect with and will fall head over heels with you once they get to know you. Losing your virginity is whatever. It’s really nothing and as bigger deal as it seems at times and I’m sure it feels massive being 30 there is absolutely no upside to losing it to a pro. Don’t bother my friend.
I’m relatively certain they would really like to just do their job and move on.
The escorts I’ve had experience with you pay for their time but some escorts if you blow your load in 10 minutes they’re out the door but they are some escorts will stay with you for the time that you spent. So if you paid for an hour make sure she hangs out for that hour
Think of it like paid tutoring, but the homework is way more fun
Thing is, sex workers don’t have sex with clients for enjoyment – its a job. If you want to learn how to be good at sex you need to do it with someone who wants pleasure from you, who’s fully involved in the experience. I don’t feel like you’ll get that from someone who is only doing it with you for the money.
Bro you’ll end up with STDs. Being a virgin is not a big deal.
I’m not sure if you want an instructor, exactly, or if that’s the best way to think about it. You’re trying to have an experience, and escorts are there to provide you with an experience.
Now, you might be trying to build up your confidence at the same time, but if you’re looking to lose your virginity it’s probably best to just focus on enjoying yourself. Approaching it like training or instruction is liable to put you in a weird headspace, especially since you’re not really expected to be any good at it your first time.
Now, where an escort is a good choice is that they don’t really have any expectations in terms of your skill or in terms of satisfying them, so you can have your fun without any pressure. Where an escort might not be a great choice (further down the road) is that they’re focused on bringing you pleasure, so you probably don’t want to think of escorts as potential instructors who prepare you for sex with partners that you want to satisfy. (Caveat: I’m sure that’s a service that some provide, though.)
Don’t fall in love with her.
How tf did you find an actual escort and not a scam?
Just make sure she knows and that this has been communicated
I wouldn’t do it. How about doing it with someone special?
There’s really no guide to getting hard and sticking into a hole/s my guy
I’ve seen many posts here of people who lost confidence from losing their virginity to escorts with things like “will I be looked down upon if my only experience is an escort” so be really sure that’s what you want before doing it
Don’t do it dude. It’s not worth it.
Some thoughts.
If you feel highly insecure about sex/your virginity, then this might be a solution to get that behind you.
They would definetly know how to handle the situation, especially when you are honest and up front when already arranging. The Provider might even recommend someone who is good at this, of those available.
Far to many people feel pressured by feeling that the first time needs to be special or great, leading more insecure and sensitive people to hold high to irrational standards concerning “the first time”, thus hold back on potential sexual experience. When their social environment has had those sexual experiences, and have moved on to more casual sexual lifestyles, those without such experiences quickly feel left behind, which only leads to more pressure and hightened insecurity.
If that is your issue, then yes. Having sex even “if only” with an escort can eleviate such pressure. Sex is special, but not that special.
Be aware that after you might feel disillusioned. Since any anticipation and expectations you build up over the years in anxiety and might get dissapointed.
I have known a couple of people that became depressed after losing their virginity late, because they now felt like they erred about the whole “virginity” evaluation and “missed” oportunities of a more casual sexual lifestyle in their youth/early 20s. Basically a “that’s it? I was affraid/intimidated by this? Had I just known/understood/tried earlier…” but all of them overcame that depression.
But it’s not a race (even if it sometimes feels like one). You have to find what and when is right for you. And it’s totally fine to be a virgin or save oneself for “the right one”, if that’s what you want. Social pressure in either direction is not good, you have to decide for yourself.
If talking to women/dating/courtship is impacted by your fear of being looked down/devaluated because you are a virgin, it might help, since you then no longer are a virgin. And this factor no longer plays into it. But in the end it’s all in your head, insecurity is not what you are but how you see yourself as.
If it’s women/dating/courtship that intimitdates you rather than your virginity, then no, an escort will mist likely not change that. Taking risks (in advances and in getting rejected) is what will take away those insecurities.
You are you. Insecurity comes from feeling inadequate and insufficient. Learn to become comfortable with yourself. It’s okay to be fallible, it’s okay to make mistakes. It’s okay to be insecure in certain things. It’s okay to fear rejection. It’s okay to be a virgin. All that is human.
Rather than nice, be kind.
Be honest. Honesty builds trust.
You shouldn’t lie. Especially not out of fear of rejection or insecurity. Don’t try to be what you are not. “Playing roles” has never helped in any longterm dating. You want them to know/like/love you, not the role you play. Also playing a role that isn’t you is a form of deception. And deception leads to mistrust.
Many people that hold back with their virginity tend to be very empathic, emotional and kind, which is often the reason for their prudance in terms of sexuality, since they feel really intimate and fear to make mistakes and hurt their partners intimacy. But being emathic and showing emotional inteligence is highly saught after trait.
Society, especially in in once youth seems (especially in social media) to be very much telling you need to be good looking, wealthy, a genious, super social and never dissapointing. That’s not realistic at all. These are all very superficial benefits. Most seek someone they can trust, who is kind, who is able to talk about everything in a respectful and empathic manner (this includes especially things that society often likes to ignore or even ridicule at times, like fears, insecurities, emotions, etc.), someone who cares about them. Someone who listens, someone who can admit when they made a mistake or might be mistaken.
Most of these are based on one’s mindset and thought, not looks or experience.
Hope that helps. Have a good one.
The first time, just enjoy yourself. Don’t worry too much about learning. You might not be able to get hard otherwise. Just have a good time.
Maybe if you hire them a second time, then ask them things like how to eat them out, how to use your fingers and your tongue. The pacing. Foreplay. That sort of thing. Don’t expect them to orgasm with you. They may be legitimately unable to because of the circumstance. That said, they might fake it.
The main thing to understand is that a sex worker is not performing like a real partner. They are there to cater to you. It’s a performance. They are there to make you feel good. But a real partner will have preferences and won’t be performative. So if you are lookng for sex lessons, you should make it clear to the sex worker that that is what you are looking for. But I would separate losing your virginity and lessons proper into separate sessions.
Yes.
That’s exactly what I did twenty years ago. I don’t regret it one bit.
But I did a TON of research first and found a really great escort who was willing to teach me. It’s definitely not an easy thing to find, and honestly today I am not even entirely sure how I would go about it.
Find an older woman that you do not have an emotional connection with. She will show you what’s going on. By older, I mean the older the better.
Your first time wont be really good regardless, you will be super nervous no matter what, you will probably have issues keeping it up. You probably have a porn addiction as well that has given you an expectation of what it will be like.
Whether you do it with an escort or with someone you form a relationship with, you will always be in that newbie phase for your first few times, and your really just paying to have someone to do it with in the first place. Friend did this and it fucked him up because he didn’t really understand what was happening, he was just trying to experience everything and ended up feeling hollow and a few hundred dollars lighter, he did it three more times, never even properly came in any of them. Only when he got with his now wife does to actually enjoy it, because they both know one another and actually care to make the other feel good.
I am begging young men to not see an escort to lose your virginity, and just go outside and touch grass.
Stop being fucking weird.
I read the sexworker sub ocassionally and it seems like the feeling there is guys losing their virginity is kind of cute in the way they’re usually nervous and more respectful than regular clients, but comes with it’s own challenges. However, some women would rather have a regular client who is there to get off and leave without all the hand holding, so make sure you talk to her before and confirm that she’s up for it.
It sounds like a lot of guys get a bad case of nerves and have trouble maintaining erections, so you may want to go online and order some pills beforehand.
Also tip well, try to relax and don’t book the minimum time allowed as you’ll probably want to spend some time talking or calming down if you’re nervous.
You’re not going to get her off. That’s fine. This is her job, she’s not doing it for fun, she’s doing it for money.
If you meet up with her and she says she’s not interested in being a teacher you can always ask for a recommendation for someone she thinks would be up for that.
100%. They can be very sweet and understanding.
make sure she is GFE if you want the girlfriend experience. not the you cum in 1 minute and she leaves
As an escort, I have taken a few virginities. It’s nice, relaxed and no pressure. You also have the privilege of never seeing me again. Which for some, helps ☺️