do friends with benefits exist for cuddling?

r/

i (18f) am completely invisible to men and i didn’t grow up with much male attention (from family or peers), so there’s this hole in my heart that craves male affection. no matter how much i try loving myself, it never goes away 🙁

so, do friends with benefits exist, but just for cuddling? sometimes i just want a man to hold me while i watch a show, y’know?

Comments

  1. butt_soap Avatar

    Most would want to have sex after cuddling

  2. ShRkDa Avatar

    I mean you can try to find someone for that, yes. Within legal limits, it’s up to the involved persons to define their relationship with each other

  3. atlastitangaming Avatar

    Cuddling is a gateway drug

  4. PositivePreference75 Avatar

    First off, you’re not invisible—you’re just not being seen by the right ones yet. That craving for affection is valid and real, especially when you’ve missed out on it growing up. Physical touch and emotional connection are deep human needs, not weaknesses.

    And yes, cuddle-based friendships do exist! Some people genuinely crave closeness without anything sexual. It’s just about finding someone emotionally mature and respectful of boundaries. You deserve that kind of warmth, and it’s okay to want it. Sending you a big virtual hug.

  5. Zenai10 Avatar

    Edit: I miss-read the post the below was for a sexual fwb relationship that also cuddles. I have seen friendships that just had cuddling yes. With 2 straight women it works great. I’ve seen it work between a man and a woman too but I genuinly believe they did more. This person was my EX. So If you believe her a man and a woman can cuddle with no sex as friends

    Yes*. If you decide ahead of time yes cuddling can be totally fine. My FwB cuddled with me and regularily stayed over. It 100% made me miss when we didn’t do it. I never developed feeling due to the situation but I can 100% see how a FwB could develop feelings with cuddling.

  6. 42Mavericks Avatar

    That’s what the homies are for

  7. Double_Grapefruit_72 Avatar

    Try with a woman first, see how it feels.

  8. The_Dark_Knight_888 Avatar

    If you must have male attention, do the right (but hard) thing. Work hard on your fitness and personality. Be attractive, to the best of your ability. You will eventually receive male attention.

    But the better thing to do is to develop some self respect and stop craving male (or female) validation. If you start depending on external validation, it’ll become a drug and you’ll end up chasing it your entire life. Don’t do it.

  9. dontbsorrybsexy Avatar

    baby that doesn’t exist ❤️ you’re talking about a boyfriend. do that with a FWB, they will expecting sex

  10. laseluuu Avatar

    you need a good friends group – i (straight m) get cuddled by my gay friends all the time, and have happily sat cuddling my female friends.

    You’re young – during your 20-30s find a decent friends group that are more open-minded and cool with contact (not bigoted/homophobic/racist).. I got those from clubbing and sharing an interest in the same music. Music and dancing people are way more happy with body contact being just that, in my experience

  11. SignificanceBudget65 Avatar

    In the gay community it’s pretty common

  12. harlekintiger Avatar

    Wait what, isn’t that just… friendship?
    I am a 28 year old guy and I am cuddling with male and female friends. I have cuddled with my best female friend since ancient times when we were both single, as well as now that both of us have a serious relationship.

  13. flannelman37 Avatar

    My wife and I met when I posted looking for a cuddle buddy. Try r/foreveralonedating

  14. stinkybutt Avatar

    Try tango! It’s basically cuddling while walking!

  15. clara_latte Avatar

    You’re so smart for being able to recognize and understand that kind of pattern within yourself. I used to have a similar need when it came to cuddling, but every time, this friends ended up expecting sex or a relationship.

  16. Tschudy Avatar

    Yup, my normal fwb loves to cuddle, especially during movies.

  17. Wooden_Masterpiece_9 Avatar

    Being able to cuddle without pressure of having to have sex or any other expectations sounds amazing to me. However, make sure you don’t end up sending mixed signals to a guy. I would be disappointed if those were the ground rules we set and then the girl decided to try to change them half way through.

  18. Shelbyville Avatar

    I 49(m) had a fwcb (45f). We used to cuddle watching shows.

    I’m bad at not catching feelings thou.

  19. Poverty_welder Avatar

    Friends with benefits exists for everything

  20. xXFenrir10Xx Avatar

    If you look above average, you might have to take the first step with guys you might like, as many guys today are concerned when approaching a woman that looks better then them. If you have guys that are single and you like, approach them, maybe ask them out for a coffee etc. If you take the initiative you will find a man that is just right for you.

  21. UWontHearMeAnyway Avatar

    Women so often get this confused about men.
    Men see sex as a thing of intimacy. Without sex, most men don’t see it as true intimacy. Cuddling is nice. But most men starve of intimacy, really of any kind. So, imagine a starving person, and another person comes along. The other person offers a whole table of great food, but only the chance to sit at the table. Not to ever eat from it…. while they are currently emaciated from hunger.

    There are some men that are asexual. But then, why would you do that for men that aren’t going to be the whole package to you, eventually? It lowers your long term value, to the future would be partner. So, I urge caution, for giving in to short term gratification, because it will lead to long term loss.

  22. EDGEBOI3001 Avatar

    Yes but awkwardness is almost guaranteed.

  23. thelordofhell34 Avatar

    Hi, yes it does exist.

    A lot of people won’t be able to but it is out there.

    I have a few friends who are women that I cuddle platonically. Nothing happens between us.

    Some men can’t keep it in their pants, some women either. Just be ready to say no in case that happens.

  24. ifipostamilurker Avatar

    I’m actually someone who likes/does that. I don’t always want sex, sometimes I want to hold or be held by someone else. I’m not asexual by any means, but I figure that people with various libido/outlook on sex may still crave touch and intimacy in other forms, so why not?

  25. MeeloP Avatar

    I get raging boners when I cuddle I’m a terrible cuddler don’t cuddle guys like me

  26. Mikko420 Avatar

    I have a female friend that I regularly cuddle. We aren’t fwbs, just friends.

    It’s possible, but I don’t think it’s common.

  27. EternityLeave Avatar

    That’s just called friends

  28. arachniaPhobia Avatar

    Maybe find a lady friend who is nice and close? I know platonic relationships will often include cuddles if you ask!

  29. EquivalentSnap Avatar

    If you want just cuddling could just do it with another girl? Not having sex so why does it need to be a guy?

  30. Janjinho Avatar

    Welcome to the club bud, haha

  31. Dry-Ad395 Avatar

    Throwaway account but as a man also I totally get you. I recently broke up and really don’t want anything other than cuddles but realistically it’s impossible to find someone so I make use of my pillows.

  32. gattacaislost Avatar

    Are cuddle puddles no longer a thing?

  33. Jojo056123 Avatar

    I know I’m a little late to the party here but I had this in college for a bit. Great friend that lived right next door in the dorms. Even slept over cuddling once. It truly was not weird for us